Chapter 11

11

A nne was disappointed that Finlay had business to attend to, but she supposed that the son of a Laird had many pressing matters. It would at least give him a chance to miss her. As she returned to the tavern she smoothed down her hair and dress, blushing a little as she passed all these strangers who had no idea how close she had come to giving Finlay everything precious that she possessed.

Anne knew how coveted a girl's virtue was. Many of the men she had courted—and she used this term loosely—had often spoken about her virtue, eager to conquer it. She was under no illusions that in time she would probably be forced to give it to some rough husband who could offer her and Rory shelter. Just for once she wanted to do something for herself, to experience some true pleasure that was untainted. The moment with Finlay had been such a moment of purity, a moment where they had been guided by nothing other than their feelings, where everything had seemed right. The attraction she felt towards him was total and whole. It seized her entire being, and she had been willing to fling herself towards it with abandon.

But Finlay had resisted. She was still perturbed by the notion that he was a true gentleman, or perhaps he was just being careful. After all, if they slept together then she might be able to tie him to a promise. Men could be snared, and some were more guarded than others. However, she believed him when he said that he wanted to protect her future. It was rare for her to come across a man who had her best interests at heart, and it only deepened her feelings for him, and ironically made her want to sleep with him more.

She returned to find Rory sitting in the tavern, waiting for her with a solemn look on his face.

"I saw ye gae off with him. I was nae gaeing tae follow," he said. He brightened when she produced the dagger.

"Ye hae been daeing well, and I thought ye deserved this," she said.

"Oh, Anne, thank ye!" he gasped, his eyes widening with excitement as he handled the dagger carefully, as though it was made of eggshells. He turned the blade over, admiring the craftsmanship. "It's all mine?"

"Aye, but be careful with it. Just because ye hae a dagger dinnae mean that ye need tae find an excuse tae use it. I dinnae want ye getting in any fights," she warned, pressing her lips together for she feared that Rory was going to walk down a dark path. His gaze was transfixed on the dagger as he twirled it through the air, getting used to the weight of it in his hands. Before anyone could take too much notice, she led Rory upstairs.

"Sae did ye make progress with him?" Rory asked as he perched on the bed.

Anne sat on her own bed and brushed her hair. Some of it had gotten knotted by Finlay's fingers.

"I believe sae. I think I might be able tae dae more than steal from him."

"More?" Rory asked, his gaze flicking up towards her.

"Aye, I might be able to marry him."

"Marriage? That was nae the plan."

"The plan can change."

"But how are ye gaeing tae marry him? Ye were just supposed tae steal from him."

"Stealing is only gaeing tae get us sae far, Rory. I dinnae want tae spend my whole life being a thief. If I can win a marriage proposal then we will never hae tae worry about a thing. He is the son of a Laird. We can live in a grand keep and never gae hungry, and we will nae hae tae worry about holes in the roof either. There will be nae chill wind making our bones cold."

Rory furrowed his brow. "But will he still marry ye when he finds out the truth?"

Anne glared at him. "He will nae find out the truth."

"At some point, he is gaeing tae realize that ye dinnae hae an uncle."

"I shall find a way tae explain it tae him," Anne waved her hand dismissively through the air, hoping that things might take care of themselves.

"And what if I dinnae want tae leave Tarbert? It's our home," Rory pouted.

"There is a better home waiting for us. Tarbert is nae good for us any longer. We cannae keep living in that house. We hae a chance tae leave and I am gaeing tae dae everything I can tae win his affection. He is a kind man, kinder than most."

"Sae ye dinnae need me tae look for targets then?"

Anne considered the matter. She supposed it wouldn't hurt to have one or two backup plans. A little bit of extra gold would come in handy. "Did ye see anyone taeday?"

"A few. There are plenty of older men preoccupied with young women. Some of them are downstairs now. I dinnae think they would deny ye a drink."

"Well, I will hae tae see what happens taemorrow. Finlay is supposed tae be taking supper with me taenight."

"What am I supposed tae dae?"

"Ye can get dinner on yer own, and I'm sure there's plenty tae occupy ye here. It's more exciting than Tarbert, that's for certain," Anne said harshly, and immediately felt guilty for scolding Rory. She went to sit beside her brother and placed her hand on his arm. "I know that this is difficult. Things are changing, but they need tae change. It is hard for things tae continue as they are. If I can win Finlay's favor then our lives will be set and he is a good man. I would be happy tae hae him as my husband," Anne startled herself by admitting this out loud.

"I just hope ye know what ye are daeing. Ye hae never gotten close tae a man before."

"I appreciate yer concern, but ye dinnae hae tae worry about me. I know what I'm daeing. I'm in full control," Anne said, and she believed every word. And even if no marriage proposal was forthcoming from Finlay, she was still determined to sleep with him. To give her innocence and her passion to a man of her own choosing was an empowering thing. She had been forced into so many things due to circumstance, but this was all of her own making, and for once she wanted to indulge her desires without regret and without thinking of the consequences.

Anne had to resort to wearing the same dress as she had the previous evening. She hoped that Finlay would not notice, but if so then she concocted a story that her uncle had been held up at the gates and he had all her formal wear with him. As she waited in the tavern she heard other people complain about how long it had taken them to get through the gates, so she believed this was a plausible lie. Rory had pointed out a few of the men he had noticed, but she only gave them a passing glance. Her gaze was focused on the door. Her heart skipped a beat every time it opened, but the flame of doubt was quickly doused by the absence of Finlay. Time slipped by and still, he had not arrived. Anne was becoming more impatient by the minute, and her hunger was growing. Rory had already eaten and had ventured outside, sticking the dagger by the small of his back. She tried to not worry about him and hoped that she had not made a mistake in giving him the dagger.

Well, no matter now, she could hardly take it back.

Two hours had passed and Finlay still hadn't arrived. Rory returned and approached her.

"Is he still nae here?" he asked.

"Nae," she hissed, angrier at Finlay than Rory, but it was Rory who bore the brunt of her emotion. He did not react to it, though.

"Perhaps ye should try and speak tae someone else? We are only here for a short time and we should make the most of it. Ye were hoping tae trick a few men after all," he reminded her.

Anne pressed her lips together. What had happened to Finlay? Was he perhaps not as genuine as she thought? Was his rejection of her something more than she had presumed? Perhaps his interest was not as ardent as she believed. Shame washed over her. It was quite plausible that he had been taken aback by her forward nature. She had lost sight of the lie and acted as herself, not as the noble girl she was pretending to be. He would have expected her to be demure rather than brash, but she had shown herself to be little more than a harlot. It should have been no surprise that he found her unrefined and refused to be in her company again. It had been easy to delude herself, but she was not a part of his world and perhaps she never would be.

Rory was right. She couldn't count on Finlay. She needed to make the most of her opportunity.

"Very well, I'll see what I can dae," she said. She scanned the room and her gaze fell on a man who was leaning against the bar. His cheeks were blotchy and he required the bar for support. His eyes were glazed over and his thick lips were pursed. He leered at the women who passed, but soon enough his gaze was focused on Anne. She sidled up to him and gently brushed against him, giggling as she apologized, claiming that she had had too much to drink.

"Ye can never hae tae much," he declared, introducing himself as Colm and ordering her another drink. Anne took it in her hand but only pretended to sip it. She asked him questions and he prattled on. Usually, she would pay attention when men like him spoke, nodding and laughing at the right moments. However, she kept glancing towards the door. As well as this, his boorish words were far from the engaging matters that she had spoken about with Finlay. He paled in comparison in every way as well, and she felt uneasy at spending time with him. She would rather have been alone than be with a man other than Finlay. Colm was quick to boast about his accomplishments and did not seem to be concerned with her views on the world, but as she got more and more distracted he noticed that her attention was drifting elsewhere.

"I always thought lasses were taught tae pay attention. It's rude tae act bored when a gentleman is speaking," Colm said, his eyes narrowing and his words terse. Anne realized that she was close to losing him, and if he walked away so did the gold that nestled in his coin purse. She composed herself and fluttered her eyelashes, angling her body towards him again. She reached up and caressed his upper arm while offering him a sweet smile that would have melted the heart of any man.

"I dae apologize, it's just that it's hard for me tae concentrate when in the presence of such a handsome man. I find myself thinking about the strong body that lies underneath these clothes," she drew her fingers across his chest and flashed him a wicked smile. He cleared his throat and was clearly flustered, but the hollow flattery was enough to calm his irritation.

"Well, quite," he murmured, while she regarded him coolly. She leaned in closer and decided to pay more attention, nodding as he spoke, making him feel as though he was the only man in the world. Just a few more drinks and she could suggest going somewhere more private, and then it wouldn't be long before the drink took over and he fell into slumber. It wasn't what she had hoped from the night, but at least she would not leave empty-handed.