Chapter 1

Chapter 1

1816

“Here we go, you two,” Letitia Benson placed the tray in front of the ladies at the table. “And make sure you eat every scrap.”

“Of course we will, Nanny Letty.” Selina grinned at her as she selected a slice of cake. “Whenever you make something, we can’t help but eat absolutely everything.”

Beside her, Anne Carrol laughed.

“I’m half-expecting Selina to start licking up the crumbs like a dog. She’s that enamored with your baking.”

Mrs. Benson beamed, laughing at Selina’s expression as she went back into the kitchen, returning a moment later with a teapot.

“Oh, I wouldn’t be so sure about that. Selina has an ability to make even the crumbs disappear. It’s a knack that she has, ever since she was a little girl.”

“Nanny!” Selina squirmed in her chair. “I thought you said you would never embarrass me like that again.”

Mrs. Benson winked as she poured out the tea.

“Oh, forgive me, dear. It’s a force of habit. You know I’m fond of you regardless of what goes on, don’t you?”

“I know, but you still don’t need to do that, not even in front of Anne.”

Anne giggled and nudged her friend.

“I think I can imagine it all too well.”

Selina groaned, which just made her friend and former nanny laugh. Finishing pouring out the tea, Mrs. Benson sat opposite them.

“Tell me what you think. Solomon’s mother used to make it, and she said it was a family recipe that’s been passed down for several generations. Now that she’s struggling to bake anything with her swollen hands, Solomon asked if I could do it instead.”

“And we’re testing it for your mother-in-law?” Anne asked with a sly smile.

“Oh, shush, silly girl. I was honored to be asked. Solomon says I know how to make magic when I’m creating my sweets and cakes, and you know it, too.”

Selina and Anne did know. They often came into the confectionary shop Mr. and Mrs. Benson now owned, and they had tried pretty much all the sweets on display. Some were delicious, and they kept getting more, and some were not as great, but Selina wasn’t really keen on sour treats. Mr. Benson even asked them what they should put into their new batch of sweets out the back.

“How’s Mr. Benson?” Selina asked, taking a bite into the cake and almost moaning as the flavors burst in her mouth. “Is he keeping well?”

“Very well. He’s gone to visit his mother today, and then he’ll be back later. Hopefully, he catches you before you leave.” Mrs. Benson’s expression softened. “He’ll be sad if he missed you, Selina.”

Selina felt a warmth blossom in her chest when she heard that. Mrs. Benson had been her nanny since she was a baby. When Selina was eleven, Mrs. Benson had married Mr. Solomon Benson, a neighbor who had been quite sweet on her for some time. She left working as a nanny for Selina’s family, but Selina saw her often.

They were still very fond of each other, and Mr. and Mrs. Benson doted on Selina like their own. Eleven years later, and the pair were still as much in love as ever.

Unlike Selina’s parents. She bit back a sigh as she thought about the way the marquess and marchioness treated each other over the years. Lots of snide comments and remarks that made Selina very uncomfortable when she heard them. Other people hearing them might have thought it was just a married couple jesting with each other, but Selina knew better.

Of course, she understood that their marriage was one of convenience and not of love, and it didn’t help when her mother was only able to have one child to live beyond infancy - Selina - but their hatred had seeped into every part of the house. Selina took as much time as she could away from the various estates they had, either out in the country or in London. She tried to keep out of their way to the point Selina wondered if her parents remembered that they had a daughter.

It wasn’t anyone’s fault that her two brothers had died in their crib when they were six months old. Nor was it their fault when her sister caught scarlet fever and died when she was one. All of this before Selina was born. Like them, she was innocent in all of this, but with the way her parents acted, she knew they resented her for not being a boy.

She wished that they would just live in different houses, away from each other. Selina didn’t want to be around either of them when they got going again. If they hated each other, why live under the same roof or even interact? It was madness.

And Selina was meant to be the child in the family.

“So, how are things at home with you, Miss Carroll?” Mrs. Benson asked, sipping her tea. “Are they still trying to push you to go out and find a potential husband?”

“I’m afraid so.” Anne sighed. “They don’t like that it’s been four years since I entered Society, and I’ve not had anyone interested in me. I know it’s my fault, being as I am…”

“It’s not your fault at all, Anne,” Selina insisted, putting a hand on her friend’s arm and giving it a squeeze. “The gentlemen around here just don’t pay attention to the real person. All they care about is appearances and not the person themselves.”

“Even so, they do have a point.” Anne bit her lip. “I’m too shy to be around anyone. I just can’t get myself to be confident enough to talk to others.”

“It will come in time, dear,” Mrs. Benson assured her. “Don’t you worry about anything. Eventually, someone will see the person you really are, and they’ll look after you. If they love you, they’ll accept everything. Besides, you might find that your shyness disappears around them.”

Selina had been thinking the same thing. When she was around people she was comfortable with, Anne Carrol was a warm-hearted, intelligent girl with a quick wit who could easily hold a conversation. But when it came to others, especially those she wanted to impress, or those who had a habit of looking down their noses at them, her ability to speak stalled. She had a stutter that became prominent, especially around good-looking gentlemen. It was enough for them to turn away, thinking that she was stupid.

Selina fumed thinking about that. It was just madness that anyone would turn Anne down just because of a stutter. And it was driving her parents, Baron and Baroness Stanton, mad that they couldn’t find someone willing to marry their timid daughter.

“And what about you, Selina?” Mrs. Benson asked, turning her green eyes onto her former charge. “You’ve not had a suitor lately, and I haven’t heard you talk about a gentleman.”

Selina shook her head, taking another bite of her cake, cupping her hand under her mouth to catch the crumbs.

“I’m not about to get married to a pretentious man, Nanny Letty. You know my views on that.”

“I’m aware of it, but I was wondering if you had changed your mind. The Countess of Ely had come in with Viscountess Rashford the other day and was talking about how her son was talking about asking you to walk out with him. She was very surprised as she wasn’t aware that you two had been talking about it, but she was happy that he had an interest.”

Selina blinked.

“What? Are you talking about Viscount Norton?”

“I believe that’s him.”

Selina shook her head.

“Well, it’s good to know that he’s still up to his old tricks.”

“Old tricks?”

Anne grimaced, putting her teacup down before picking up her cake again.

“Viscount Norton has done this before. He says that he’s planning on courting someone he’s barely spoken to, and then he suddenly claims that he was turned down, and that gets his mother’s derision towards the young ladies he had his eye on.”

“I remember that incident last year with Lady Annabelle Hamlet. She was very public about turning him down after he pestered her for weeks.” Mrs. Benson tilted her head towards Selina. “And now he’s saying he’s going to court you. Do you think he’s going to do the same?”

“More than likely. But he barely talks to me, so asking me to court someone like him is not going to happen.”

Selina didn’t think that Viscount Samuel Norton would have anyone who wanted to marry him, anyway. He was not a very nice person. Plus, his attitude towards people around him made others give him a wide berth. The Earl of Ely was very aware of it, but the countess believed that her son was simply misunderstood and he was unfairly judged by everyone around him. She wasn’t going to listen to reason.

Not that Selina cared. She didn’t like Lady Ely, either. It was easy to see where her son got his attitude from.

“You know, Lady Ely isn’t the only one who’s talked about you, Selina,” Mrs. Benson commented. “A few older ladies have had your name on their lips.”

Selina groaned.

“What did they say?”

“That they couldn’t understand why you wouldn’t marry. The daughter of a marquess with great beauty and wealth, you’re considered one of the most eligible women in the country. And yet you refuse to entertain any of that. They can’t understand why you’re refusing marriage.”

“But you know the reason, don’t you?”

Her former nanny nodded.

“You’ve said many times. While I don’t agree with it, I understand your mentality.”

“I understand it as well,” Anne chimed in with a slight frown. “With the way things are going for me, I would marry a commoner as well. Less drama with money and status.”

Selina smiled. At least these two understood. After witnessing how people behaved in the ton , and how her parents treated each other, Selina did not want to marry for money, status or anything related to her title. She wanted love, and only for love. And if they were a commoner with no title at all, then that was even better.

Unfortunately, due to her social standing, that was going to be easier said than done. Selina knew that even commoners would know her status and if they were aware of what she wanted, they would want to be around her for her money. Selina was, essentially, stuck. She couldn’t have what she wanted.

If that was the case, she would rather remain unmarried. It meant that she could help Anne find herself a husband, even if it was slow going. Anne was a beautiful young woman, but her stuttering just got in the way. Selina wanted to make sure that Anne found herself a loving husband who didn’t see her as simple. Anne deserved to have a man who saw the real person behind the nerves. She wanted to help with that.

If it meant putting her own chance of marriage to the side, so be it. Her friend was more important.

“Is there any cake left for me?”

A familiar voice from the doorway had all three ladies turning around in their chairs. A tall, thin man with fair hair leaned against the doorway, giving them a lopsided smile. Mrs. Benson beamed.

“David! I didn’t know you were going to be here.” She stood up and approached the young man. “I thought you were going to be busy with work.”

“I managed to get the afternoon off, so I thought I’d come and see how you were.” The man accepted a kiss on both cheeks from the woman. “What’s wrong with spending time with my mother?”

“Nothing at all! You know I’m always happy to see you around.” Mrs. Benson beckoned him over to the table. “Come on over and sit down. We were just having some cake. There’s plenty to go around. Isn’t there, girls?”

Anne simply gave a tiny smile. Selina could see that she was withdrawing back into her shell again. She looked at the newcomer and gave him a nod.

“Mr. McDonald.”

“Lady Selina.” David McDonald bowed to her, his eyes never leaving her. “You’re looking as lovely as always.”

Selina arched an eyebrow.

“I…thank you. I think.”

“Oh, don’t embarrass the girl, David.” Mrs. Benson swatted David’s arm as he sat in the chair between her and Selina. “That might charm the girls in America, but it won’t do the same with Selina. You know that.”

“I thought paying compliments was appropriate, though,” David said, winking at Selina. “You wouldn’t want me to be rude, would you?”

“It’s fine, Nanny Letty. You don’t need to tell him off,” Selina assured her former nanny. “It’s something I’m used to, but it’s not something that happens very often.”

“Well, if you will shut yourself off from the ton when you’re meant to be socializing with everyone,” David pointed out, settling back in his chair. “I’ve heard that you choose not to go out to many social engagements when your attendance would be much appreciated.”

Selina wondered where he had heard that. Probably from one of his patients; they loved to gossip to anyone who was willing to listen.

“I’m not too bothered at how many social engagements I attend, Mr. McDonald,” she said. “I find that they can be rather pretentious with the people present. That’s not really what I want to be around.”

“You don’t think that you should take advantage of your status in the ton ?” David asked. “Being an eligible lady means you would be a big focus.”

“And I don’t care for that. I prefer to be left alone.”

Selina was about to mention that she planned to help Anne gain her confidence to find someone who would fall in love with her, but she wasn’t about to say that out loud. She didn’t want to embarrass her friend.

“If I were you, I’d make the most of it.” David took a plate of cake from his mother and took a bite, swallowing before continuing. “You might regret it a few years down the line, not putting yourself into the center of attention and finding yourself a husband.”

Selina snorted.

“There are more important things in life than finding a wealthy husband, Mr. McDonald. I don’t put all of my efforts into searching for someone to marry, otherwise I’ll find myself disappointed.”

“I don’t know. You’re a very pretty woman, Lady Selina.” David held up a hand as his mother swatted him. “I’m just making an observation, Mother. That’s all. Am I not allowed to make a remark like that?”

“You’re going to be making Selina blush if you carry on like that,” Mrs. Benson admonished with a smile. “Just eat your cake and use that mouth to be busy chewing.”

Selina giggled, which had David glancing at her. She turned away and tried to fight back the laughter, but she caught Anne’s eye and saw the smile tugging at her mouth, which just made her giggles escape. Mrs. Benson shook her head with a sigh.

“It’s like you’re children again. Giggling over everything.”

“My apologies, Nanny Letty.” Selina picked up her teacup and took a sip. “We’ll try and restrain ourselves.”

“I’m surprised you still call Mother ‘Nanny Letty’ when she hasn’t been your nanny for over a decade,” David commented. “She got married not long before I left the country.”

Selina shrugged.

“It’s a force of habit, that’s all. She’s always going to be known as Nanny Letty to me.”

“It’s nothing to worry about, dear,” Mrs. Benson said to her son. “I don’t mind.”

“I’m not worried, Mother. I’m just curious, that’s all.” David regarded Selina thoughtfully. “It’s nice to know that you have that bond with Mother. She was good at doing that with everyone.”

Selina wasn’t sure what to say to that. David had been making comments over the last few weeks. They were innocent enough, but at the same time…

She didn’t see him much, though, due to his work. He wasn’t a member of the ton, despite his abilities as a doctor who was at the beck and call of several wealthy families in London already. Even though he had only been back in America for four months after being away for several years, David was rather popular with everyone, especially the poorer families, due to him offering his services for nothing.

Selina admired that about him. He had been doing some good since he had returned. She remembered him always being a kind and considerate young man when she had been a child. They hadn’t interacted much, but when they did, Selina recalled how much of a gentleman he was. David was almost ten years her senior, so he was off studying at medical school. Mrs. Benson had raised him well.

However, there was something different about him. Selina couldn’t put her finger on it. It wasn’t obvious, but she was sure about it.

Maybe it was due to having been apart for so long. It had been ten years, after all, since David left for America to start a life over there. And he was a lot older than her, Mrs. Benson’s son from her first marriage, so Selina hadn’t really paid much attention. She was probably looking for something that wasn’t there, being naturally suspicious.

She didn’t have a lot of faith in her gut instincts, though. Not with the childhood she had experienced. It was hard to understand what was genuine and what was false when Selina had been around her parents for so long. She had heard them making barbed remarks so much it was hard to know if someone was being true to their word.

Another reason she didn’t want to marry into society. She had had enough of it all to last a lifetime.