Chapter 5

Chapter Five

Ann

U nfortunately, the dowager countess remembered me from my youth, but it's not the first time and likely won't be the last. What last night proved is that Louisa is much sought after and that she is not impervious to gentlemanly charm. She liked the attention and the dancing.

Two of the gentlemen from the ball called this morning. However, I don't think Louisa has any particular regard for either. She was polite, but I detected nothing in her behavior that indicated affection.

As we stroll the park, Mae joins us, making us a foursome. "Two suitors this morning?"

"Yes, Mother." Louisa's voice is monotone.

"Men of good standing?" Mae asks.

"Sir Edward Pepperton and the Earl of Stanbridge. They were both very kind to have called." Still polite indifference with no sign of interest .

Mae sighs. "Clearly, you don't care for either one, but they are both wealthy and well-respected gentlemen. You could do worse."

"Yes, Mother." Louisa waves to a group of young women.

Her mother follows her to greet them and their mothers, but looks back to give me a nod beforehand.

"I think my sister approves of the work you've done." Oscar leans in as we continue down the parade route.

"Your niece is a lovely young woman and from a good family. If she wishes to marry, it shall not be an issue." I try to slow my pace enough to walk behind as a good servant should, but Oscar won't allow it, so I give up.

"Is that what happened in your first season, Ann? Did you not wish to marry?"

My heart feels as if someone has wrapped their fist around it. "I wanted to marry but my choice wasn't approved by my father. The gentlemen my parents chose were not approved by me. After three years, I chose the life I have now."

"Why didn't you marry the man of your choice without approval if you were smitten?" He gives no hints of his feelings when he asks such personal questions. Despite his bad behavior on the one occasion, he has been a complete gentleman since.

I can't help wondering what prompted his outburst. It's none of my business. All I have to do is my job, and in a few months, we'll hire a new steward. I'll return to Everton House and never see Oscar Stafford again. "Why do you want to know about my past, my lord?" I stress the title because he used my familiar name.

His shoulders lift and fall with a deep breath. "Forgive me. I can't seem to help myself. You have been a curiosity invading my thoughts ever since we met. There are a great many things I'd like to know about you. This seems a good place to start."

It's hard to breathe. What is he saying? Why should he be curious about me? Before he left the house, he stated clearly enough that I'm likely a woman of bad character. "There is little to tell. The object of my desire wouldn't marry without my father's approval and the dowry that went with it."

"I'm sorry," he whispers.

"It was a long time ago." Yet the memory still cuts deep. I no longer hold any affection for the gentleman, but the words spoken then set my heart to aching when remembered.

"Perhaps your father was correct in not giving that particular man his blessing. If it was the standing and money that he adored more than you." Oscar's back is very straight, and his shoulders are pulled back. He walks with his hands behind his back, as is his habit.

With a nod, I say, "I have concurred with that in the years since. Father may have refused due to the man's lack of title, but he saved me from a marriage where I would have been the only affectionate party."

"Have you seen your parents since taking employment?"

"From time to time, my mother and I have tea. Father refuses to see me, so we meet elsewhere. She doesn't approve of my working, but she says she admires my bullheadedness." I laugh. "And now you know all there is to know about me, my lord. There is no reason for your curiosity to continue."

He grumbles something under his breath, but I can't quite make it out. "You undervalue your allure."

Allure? What can that mean? I stop and face him. "What are you playing at?"

Eyes wide, he stares at me. "I beg your pardon."

"Your approach might be different, but I'm starting to wonder if you are another version of the man in the garden." So that others in the park don't notice anything amiss, I keep my hands lightly folded in front of me and my voice just above a whisper .

His jaw shifts from side to side. "Will you follow me for a moment?"

He walks to the right, crossing the grass and disappearing under the long hanging leaves of a tree.

Looking around, I check to see if anyone is watching. I should walk on and find new employment. Damn my curiosity, I follow and duck under the branches.

Stippled light passes through the thick leaves, It's cozy and quiet in the shade.

Oscar paces a few feet away. "The second day you were at my house, my behavior was regrettable."

Unsure what to say, I hold my tongue. I can admit to my curiosity.

He stops and faces me. "I find I am extremely attracted to you, Ann. I have been since the moment I met you. Since the notion of any relationship between us must be considered ridiculous, I tried to make you hate me. If you hate me, then I am safe from my own desires."

It's possible my heart stopped beating, and I'm about to die here under this tree in Hyde Park. "Why would you be attracted to me? I'm an old maid. I have nothing to offer save a full bosom. I'm sure your lordship can find plenty of that at the local brothel." My temper and a hint of jealousy rise. "I may have chosen to become an Everton Lady, but don't suppose that makes me desperate for affection or whatever it is you mean to offer."

Storming away would be wise, but my cheeks are on fire and I hardly want all of society to know how flustered I am. Covering them with my hands, I will my emotions into submission. I close my eyes.

The heat of him fills the space in front of me. "Ann?"

Opening my eyes, I have to crane my neck to meet his gaze. "What? "

"I know I have given you no reason to trust me. I have behaved terribly and my regrets grow larger every day. However, I am not like the man in the garden. My desire for you is honest and goes beyond the physical. While I am well aware that you would never, could never, want me in any way, it is important to me that you know that sex is not the only thing on my mind."

All my efforts to push my blush away are useless in the face of his claims. "I don't believe you."

He shakes his head. "No." Deep sadness fills his eyes. "Why would you?"

Only able to stare at him, I swallow down emotions I haven't felt since that first season. I'm already aware that my gauge of these relationships is badly tuned. There is no dowry. There is no family connection. Beyond my body, I have no value to a man like Oscar Stafford. Tears push at the corners of my eyes.

"Please don't cry." He hands me his handkerchief. "I'm going to leave you. It's not because…" He shakes his head. "You'll need to collect yourself to resume the walk." He rushes out of the seclusion of the tree's embrace.

Leaning on the large trunk, I dab my eyes, staving off an embarrassing bout of tears. Once I have my emotions in check, I return to the parade path where I find Louisa and Mae strolling.

"Are you all right, Miss Wittman?" Louisa asks.

"Yes. Thank you. I'm fine. I had a bit of dust in my eye." I force a smile and step behind the ladies.

"Where is my brother?" Mae scans the park. "Ah, there, by the river." She calls for him.

His stern expression gives nothing away, but he rejoins us, walking next to me as we return to his house.

I offer him his handkerchief back.

Pressing it back into my hand, he shakes his head.

My chest tightens. I run my finger over the embroidered O and S. Other parts of me tingle and I try not to think about the things he said under the tree. Of course, that makes me think about them even more. The heat returns to my cheeks and I set my mind to thinking about the accounting waiting for me in the study.

Mae steps beside me. "I misjudged you, and I believe I owe you an apology, Miss Wittman."

"Did you?" It takes me a beat or two to focus on the sister rather than the brother.

"Yes. I'm sorry for thinking you would be unable to assist my daughter. I have never seen her excited about the prospect of balls. She asked me to take her to the modiste. It seems one of the men she danced with last night is very fond of yellow. I have no idea how she learned such a thing, but she would like a buttery gown that he might admire enough to pay her a call." Mae shakes her head indulgently. "I'm going to take her now unless you have need of her."

"Not at all. We had a quiet evening planned as there are two more events this week that we have committed to. We'll be attending the races on Thursday and Lady Tamford's ball on Saturday. Perhaps you would care to join us?" It's nice that mother and daughter are bonding over the process of a successful season.

She cocks her head. "I am otherwise committed on Thursday, but I shall be delighted to join you at the ball."

I nod. "We shall see you then, unless you'd like to join us for supper tonight when you return Louisa to your brother's home?"

"That is most kind, but Lord Creeves and I have a dinner party to attend this evening." She takes her leave, and she and Louisa walk in the opposite direction .

I am left alone with Oscar. "I can make my way, my lord. You needn't trouble yourself." I walk faster.

Keeping pace, Oscar says, "I will see you back to my house, Miss Wittman."

"It's really not necessary." I'm flustered and I don't like it. Everton Ladies can handle any situation with aplomb.

"Ann?" His voice is sharp and he touches my arm.

I stop and look at him.

"Are you afraid of me? Was my behavior so bad that an apology and confession were not enough? Am I so abhorrent to you that there is no chance of friendship?" His eyes are filled with worry.

Everton Ladies remain detached. We don't get involved with our clients. Well, that's not always true. I can name a handful of ladies who have lovely families now with the men they once served in some domestic capacity. I am not one of them. I'm far past the blush of youth and was never a diamond of the first water. "I'm not afraid of you, Oscar. It's only that my purpose is to resolve your bookkeeping issues and help your niece with her first season. Whatever else you want seems beside the point."

A hint of a smile pulls at his lips and my heart. "I'm glad you're not afraid of me, and I am truly sorry for my behavior. Nothing I said that second day was true, nor did I ever think those things. I suppose I was afraid of you."

There's a flutter low in my belly. I like the way he looks at me and everything he said today. My vanity has risen to the surface. I push it down and continue the walk to his home. Without further conversation, we arrive at his front door and Jenkin pulls it open before we knock.

"My lord, Miss Wittman, good afternoon." The butler bows.

"Hello, Jenkin. Miss Bartholomew will be arriving later. She's gone to the modiste with her mother. Will you see that a footman is available to help her with any packages when she arrives?" I take off my gloves and hat and clutch them in my hands. "My lord, would you like to have supper here with Louisa, Lady Chervil, and me?"

All the air seems to rush out of the foyer.

Oscar's eyes are wide. He draws a long breath. "That is most kind. I would be delighted to join you ladies for dinner. I shall return to my rooms at the club so that my valet might dress me appropriately." With a bow, he leaves.

Jenkin stares at me and I swear he's amused. I go to the study and dive into strings of numbers to avoid all the thoughts spinning in my head.