Chapter 12

Chapter Twelve

Oscar

M ore than an hour has passed by the time I can finally make my way back to the house. The foyer is empty, as is the rest of the house. Everyone is outside enjoying the day, a day that wouldn't have happened without Ann.

My hope to find her in the parlor or library is dashed, so I climb the stairs two at a time and go to her bedroom. I knock.

"I'm not feeling well. Go enjoy the party." There's a tightness in her voice that's out of character.

"May I come in, Ann?" I lean on the doorjamb with my heart in my throat.

She pulls the door open. "I don't want to see you. Go back to your guests." Her trunk is open in front of the bed and her dresses are spread out for packing.

"Are you leaving?" I fail to keep the panic from my voice.

She slumps into the chair by the fireplace. "I was always going to leave, my lord. I have left the names and credentials of the final two candidates for steward on your desk. You will meet with them next week and pick one. I'm sure you're anxious to get back to Scotland."

Oddly, that is not true. I like this house and the people in this area. The memories of my youth and my desire to be secluded kept me away. Now I see what I've been missing. However, if Ann is not here, then that may change. "I had no idea your father would write such a letter. I only wanted to do the right thing and to do it properly."

Head in her hand, she gazes at me. "My father has been finding fault in me all my life. The trouble, you see, is that I am not a man. Had I been born male, I'm sure he would have been a decent parent. As it was, I was flawed from the start and then dared to have a mind and will of my own."

My heart breaks for what she endured and my part in bringing that back to her. "I'm sorry. I only meant to get his permission as he is your father."

"It's of no real concern, my lord. I'll be leaving in the morning." She stands and returns to her packing.

"My name is Oscar." When she only nods, I say, "Then you are refusing to marry me."

The blue dress in her hands suffers as she fists the material. Slowly, she faces me. "As I was not consulted on the matter, I feel no regret in telling you that I will not marry you or anyone."

Pride stung, a string of unpleasant words come to mind. I hold my tongue. "Very well then, Miss Wittman. I thought after what we shared, you would be happy to receive a proposal. Clearly, I was mistaken. I apologize for being the cause of such a malicious letter from your father. That was certainly not my intention." I leave the room and close myself in the library while the picnic noise filters through the open windows .

Opening a bottle of brandy, I pour myself a glass and drink it in one gulp. How could I have been so mistaken about her feelings, when mine were so clear to me?

Bottle in one hand and glass in the other, I settle at my father's desk and pour another drink. Maybe I can forget how Ann Wittman felt in my arms and how her lips felt on mine. With enough brandy, I might even forget the enjoyment of being in her presence and solving problems together.

There are a few more bottles in the cellar. I may need to fortify my supply to reach that level of oblivion.

I t's dark and the noise of revelry has subsided. The footsteps of staff going in and out of the house disturbed my drinking. With my head leaning on the arm of the settee, I turn it at the sound of the library door opening.

Honoria looks at me and the empty brandy bottle on the desk. She scans the open bottle on the table next to me. She crosses to the cart and takes a glass before sitting across the table and pouring herself a brandy. Sipping, she narrows her gaze. "What has happened? My maid tells me that Ann and I are to leave in the morning."

"She said she didn't want to marry me." I mean to pour another, but Honoria keeps the bottle near her, and I haven't the coordination l to get up and get it back.

"You proposed?" Those ever-watchful eyes of hers light up with excitement.

My chest tightens. "I never got the chance. She turned me down."

Nose scrunched, Honoria stares. "Forgive me, my lord, but I don't understand. If you didn't propose, how could she turn you down?"

"Her father beat me to it." I throw my hands up, but the abrupt action makes me dizzy and I lie still.

"Good lord, her father. Is that where you went the other day? You ask her father's permission to marry her? Why on earth would you do that?" It's the first time I've heard Honoria raise her voice.

With much effort, I try to shake off some of the fog in my head and sit up. "It's what a gentleman does when he wishes to wed a lady."

Her expression softens. "I imagine Ann was put out by you consulting her estranged father before her on the matter of her future."

"Furious." I cringe as I say it louder than I'd planned.

Honoria finishes her brandy and puts the glass and bottle down. "Listen to me very carefully. Clearly, you've pickled yourself because you're upset. However, you can still make this right."

"She ruined it. Well, I ruined it." I dig in my pocket. "I was going to propose today and give her this ring as a betrothal gift. I had it all planned for after the picnic. Now it's over." I drop the ring on the table.

There's a long silence. "Oscar?"

I look at her stern yet sympathetic face.

"Do you love Ann?" Her eyebrows rise and the candlelight makes her look like a ghost come to haunt me.

Letting my head fall back on the arm of the settee, it bangs hard. I rub the spot. "I think I loved her from the first moment I saw her at Everton House. Now, I love her so much, I don't know how I'm going to survive without her."

Honoria stands up and plucks the ring from the table. She hands it to me. "Tell her. I'm willing to bet, you didn't say all of that to her. If you had, my maid wouldn't be upstairs packing my trunk." She pats me on the head, and saunters from the library.

Staring at the ring, I know I need to do something, but my eyes are blurry. Once I'm on my feet, I make my way to the kitchen.

Cook is tidying the work table when she sees me. "Oh, it's like that, is it?"

"I need your help." I slump onto the chair against the wall.

She carries over a bucket. "First things first. Stick your finger down your throat and get what you can out of you. After that, we'll see what can be done."

W hen the sun comes up, I've had four hours of sleep and more water, tea, and ginger remedy than any man should have to endure. However, I'm coherent and nearly normal. Without waiting for my valet, I dress myself and go to Ann's room.

Empty except for her trunk waiting to be carried down to the carriage.

I nearly fall on my head running down the stairs, but catch the railing in time.

Perfectly beautiful at my father's desk, Ann stares at me.

I'm sure my running sounded like a herd of sheep had invaded the house. Attempting a smile despite the nerves and effects of excess alcohol roil in my stomach, I say, "I wonder if you would give me five minutes of your time. I know I don't deserve them, but please."

Eyes filled with unshed tears, she finishes writing something, puts the page aside, and stands. "I can't think of anything that needs saying."

"Please, Ann. I've made mistakes. I see that now. Just five minutes, I beg you." I don't know what I'll do if she refuses to hear me out. I suppose there will be nothing more I can do today.

"Say what you must." She crosses her arms over her chest and stares at some point over my shoulder.

Closing the door, I gather my courage. "I went to your father because I wanted to do everything right for you. I thought you desired his approval, and I thought this would gain you that. In hindsight, that was foolish and a bit naive. Had I realized the malice in his heart, I never would have subjected you to his rancor. I am more sorry than words can express."

Her jaw shifts from side to side and she glances at me before looking away. "I can see how that might have happened."

It's not exactly acceptance but I'll take it. "I had a stupid plan to gain his approval, then propose to you. I had it all planned for last night." I pull the ring from my pocket and hold it in my fist. Dropping to my knees, I watch as she looks at me. "I was going to get down on my knees and tell you how much I love you, how I've loved you since you walked into Lady Jane's office in London. I wanted you to know that you changed me and helped me to become the man I've always wanted to be. I don't want to hide away in Scotland and work on how to grow the best grain." I realize that's not entirely true. "Well, I do want to do those things, but that's not all I want."

She takes one step closer as her tears fall. "What other things do you want?"

"I'd like to be part of this community, attend the Lady Day celebration, and deliver the Christmas hams to the tenants. I'd like to go to balls, if you'll agree to dance with me. I'd like to marry you, have children, and do a better job of parenting than what you've known." My heart is going to pound out of my chest at any moment. I feel a bit sick and it has nothing to do with my stupidity from last night.

Closing the distance, Ann kneels in front of me. "If I did not love you so much that it aches in my soul, I should never forgive you for going to my father." She gasps for breath and more tears trail down her cheeks. "I never planned to marry. I never thought anyone would love me for more than a dowry."

Unable to stop myself, I thumb away her tears. "Your father already informed me there would be no dowry as that money was reallocated many years ago. Those were his words."

"I'm sure that's exactly what he said." She laughs. "I'm not young, Oscar. I'm a spinster. You're an earl. You could marry any one of the marriageable ladies out this year. They are beautiful and young. They have many years to give you a house full of children."

"You are beautiful inside and out, my Everton Lady. You are the only woman I will ever want. I love you so much that the pain of losing you was too much to bear. Can you forgive me?" I hold my breath.

"I do forgive you. I love you. It was like being struck by lightning the first time I saw you. I denied it even after we made love, but I'll not lie to myself anymore." She cups my cheek. "I love you and if you still wish it, I'll marry you, Oscar."

My heart surely can't take anymore. I drag her into my arms and kiss her hair, her forehead, anywhere I can reach. Finally, she turns her face, and I capture those plump delectable lips with mine.

Together, we generate fire and lightning. All I want to do is love Ann Wittman until the day I die. I may haunt her in the hereafter just to stay near her.

Breaking the kiss, I brush away the rest of the moisture lingering on her cheeks. I take her hand and slide the sapphire and diamond ring onto her finger. "I'm determined to do something right. Ann, I love you more than anything or anyone. I promise to give you the life you deserve. Will you make me the happiest man alive and marry me?"

She brushes the hair from my forehead. "Oscar, I love you and I will marry you." She grins down at the ring. "This is lovely."

"You are lovely, the ring pales in comparison."

Cocking her head, she grins. "I had no idea you were a romantic poet as well as a scientist."

This slightly nauseous euphoria must be what happiness feels like. Her hand in mine, I stand, bringing her with me. "I think there are a great many things we still have to learn about one another, my love. I'm looking forward to every moment of education."