Chapter 4

CHAPTER4

Istared into the mirror and hardly recognized myself. My dark hair was pulled back and twisted on the top of my head in an elaborate design that was already starting to give me a headache, and Eletta had painted on a thick line of coal along my eyes that somehow made me look so different from myself.

But none of that was the issue. It was the white dress that fell from my shoulders and shined like stars cascaded down the fabric. I hadn’t known where to look when Eletta had slipped it over my head, but my astonishment quickly slipped away when I realized that the back of the dress fell to just below the small of my back.

The markings on my back were fully exposed, and even though I tried to argue against the dress, she warned me that the queen had demanded I wear a garment that showed off exactly what they were after.

They didn’t care about the woman who was about to be standing in front of them. They cared about one thing and one thing only, and that was on full display even as I tremored from the chill of the night.

I longed for bed, but I didn’t have a choice. I was standing with Eletta right outside the great hall, and she was still fidgeting with my dress as I tried to breathe. I refused to allow the royals to see how badly they affected me.

My fear was their power, and they would yield it against me if only I gave them the chance.

These were the people who had murdered my father when he had tried to deny them his only child, and I would not dare to let them see that fear in my eyes.

“Are you ready?” Eletta spoke softly in front of me, and I let my eyes meet hers. She was fae just like the rest of them, but something told me this girl wasn’t anything like them at all. She had treated me with nothing but kindness and respect since I had arrived.

“I’m not sure I will ever be ready.” I was honest with her, and I watched as the small smile fell from her lovely face.

But she didn’t have time to respond. The doors to the great hall opened, a royal guard on each side, and she quickly moved behind me. I could hardly see inside the hall, but it felt like hundreds of faces were staring back at me.

I was looking at each and every one of them, and I hated that I was searching for a guard who I had met only today.

A guard who was completely inconsequential.

I passed through the doorway, and I straightened my exposed spine as I noted the rows and rows of people who stood in the space. They were all watching me with wonder and want in their eyes, but none of them met my gaze. They looked upon my cheeks before their gazes fell upon my shoulders, hungry to see my back.

A curse to me, yet a blessing to them. A savior.

I looked away from all of them and let my gaze fall upon the three fae that were seated upon a low dais. The queen was the first to catch my eye, and it was no wonder. She was dressed in a long red gown that stood out among everyone else’s, and the crown that sat atop her head matched. Spires of gold topped with large rubies that should have made it impossible for her to stare down at anyone.

But she managed it just the same.

She looked down at me with a severe and calculating gaze, and it took everything inside of me not to cower. She was beautiful, there was no doubt about that, but she considered me carefully as her eyes narrowed.

She was the power. She was far more than a face to be looked upon.

Even with two men sitting at her sides, the queen of Citlali was the one who ruled, and I feared her far more than I ever thought I would.

I let my gaze slide away from her to the king at her side. He wore a similar crown, much smaller in size, and he looked regal in his deep blue surcoat adorned only with a royal crest in gold and red.

His gaze roamed over my body as if he was trying to calculate every inch of me that could be used. I hated the look in his eyes, as if I was prized cattle being brought to the highest bidder.

I jerked my gaze away from him, and I stopped short when it slammed into the only other who stood upon the dais. He was much younger than the king and queen, and the crown that fell upon his head was much less grandiose.

But he didn’t need the crown upon his head to catch my attention. He was strikingly handsome, in a way that I had only felt with one other, and there was a soft smile upon his lips as he looked down at me.

I stopped in front of the three of them, and I refused to let my head fall as I stared up at them. This was the royal family, the family that would take from me, the family I was to be married into, and I refused to bend the knee even as they shook beneath me.

A hush fell over the crowd as the queen stood. “So, you are the Starblessed that has been promised?” Her voice was unyielding, and every head turned to face her as she spoke.

I didn’t know how to answer her, so I didn’t say a word in return. I simply held her gaze as she assessed me.

“You’re the girl with the power of the stars?” She clenched her jaw, and I knew she wasn’t used to repeating herself.

“I hold no power.”

“Ah, but you do.” She stepped down from her dais, and one of the guards rushed to hold his hand out to her. “I can feel it from here.”

The queen dropped the guard’s hand and stepped toward me, and my breath rushed out of me. She stopped in front of me, within arm’s reach, and I couldn’t help noticing how vastly we differed. Her skin was pale and free of any signs of a hard life, and her hair was so light it was almost white.

She reached forward, her finger dipping below my chin and causing me to flinch before she tilted my face back and forth to examine me. “Your face is remarkable.” Her fingers flexed against my chin. “But I would like to gaze upon your back.”

I didn’t want to turn around. I was already so exposed, and I could already feel the stares of those who stood behind me. But I was given no choice.

The queen’s eyes darkened, and the floor beneath my feet began to move.

I reached out to grab ahold of something to stop myself from falling, but she was the only one within reach. I refused to use her help against her own power.

I hadn’t seen her lift her hand or mouth in any sort of spell, but the marble floor where I stood spun easily as if her power didn’t require such things. It didn’t stop until I was facing the doors in which I had arrived, and I heard her gasp along with others.

A cold finger ran down the length of my spine, and I shuddered under her touch. “Are you pure?”

Her question snapped me to attention, and I had no idea what she meant. “Excuse me?”

“Your blood. The blood of the stars. Is it pure, or have you been fed from before?”

A knot settled in my stomach at her insolence.

“Mother.” I heard the crown prince’s voice growl from the stage, and I balled my hands into fists at my sides.

“I am as pure as you demanded.” I tried not to let my voice waver. “No one has ever fed from me.”

Not in the way she was asking and not in the way I had wished for before. No one in my town dared to touch me. I was the Starblessed, and I belonged to the royals. The boys of my town had taken that as literally as they could.

Anyone who tainted me would be cursed. Anyone who harmed me, ill-fated.

“Good,” the queen spoke from behind me. “My son will be the only one to taste your powers and unite with them. You will be his and his alone.”

I hated her words. I despised how effortlessly she referred to me as an object to be devoured.

“Come, Gavril. Look upon her.”

I tensed as I waited with my back turned to the dais. I could hear movement, but I could see nothing but the faces of those who still watched the spectacle in front of them. But none of them were looking at me, not truly.

I knew the moment the crowned prince stood behind me. I could feel him along my marks like a buzz of power coming to life. It reminded me of Evren, and I quickly searched the faces around me for his familiar one.

“She is exquisite.” The crowned prince spoke before slowly moving around me. He stopped when he faced me fully, and he dipped his head in the slightest of bows. “It is a pleasure to finally meet you, Starblessed.”

“Adara.” I couldn’t stop myself from saying. “My name is Adara Cahira.”

“Adara.” He purred my name, and a chill ran down my mark. “It is a pleasure to meet you, Adara.”

I didn’t know what to say back to him because I didn’t share the sentiment. He was handsome and had been respectful thus far, but I was still sent here to be claimed as his belonging.

“And what am I to call you?” I asked, and I heard murmurs from those around me. But the crowned prince grinned.

“I go by many names, but as my future wife, I shall like it if you will call me Gavril.”

He watched me as I took in his words, and that small smile didn’t fall from his lips. “Would you honor me in a dance?” He held his hand out to me, and I faltered before slipping mine into his hold.

Music began playing the moment he drew me toward him, and my palm fell upon his chest as he slowly lifted my other in his hand.

I didn’t miss the way his hand fell upon the small of my back or the way his fingers clenched as they came in contact with my mark. That buzz of power from earlier only amplified under his touch.

“I’m sorry about my mother.” He spoke softly as he began spinning me around the floor. “I know she can be a bit overbearing.”

I glanced up at him. Overbearing didn’t feel like the correct word to describe the queen. My gut told me she was ruthless, cunning, unyielding.

I had no allies in this palace. I was wary of everyone here, but she was my true opponent in this palace. She was the one who I needed to watch at all times, but even knowing that I couldn’t look away from the prince as he spoke.

“She means well.”

“Means well for who?” My hand tightened on his shoulder. “I don’t believe the queen has any interest in me other than what I can provide for you.”

Gavril had the gall to look embarrassed by my words, but I didn’t know how he thought I could possibly think otherwise. “You are to be my wife, Adara. You are more than the blood that runs through your veins.”

His words were like a whisper over my skin. A whisper that captivated me.

“And how exactly do you feed from me?”

I knew this hall wasn’t the right place for that kind of question, but I had to know. The lores I had been told stated that the fae fed from a Starblessed like we are warned of vampyres. But as I looked up at Gavril, I saw no signs of sharp teeth for him to puncture my skin. I saw no signs of the monster that I feared lay beneath.

“You have time before you are to worry about that.” He cleared his throat before his fingers gently trailed over my skin. “I will not feed from you until we are wed. Until you are mine.”

That both calmed me and filled me with unease simultaneously. “And when are we to wed?”

“In a month’s time.” He drew me closer to him absently. “You will become a princess of Citlali before the twin moons meet in the starless sky.”

A princess. The thought was absurd to me.

I was no more fit to be a princess than I was to be a queen.

“I know this isn’t what you wanted, but you will learn to love it here, Adara.” He sounded so sincere, but I didn’t trust him. How could I learn to love something my father had died to try to prevent?

“But this is what you wanted?”

He didn’t answer me immediately. His gaze fell over every inch of my face as he thought about my question. “What I want is to fulfill my duties as the crowned prince of Citlali. I can’t expect you to understand that.”

His words felt like a whip.

“I think I understand more than most, considering my duty was to give up my entire life.”

He jolted backward like my words hit their mark.

“So it is your duty that causes you to long to feed from me? None of that comes from your own thirst of power?”

He leaned in closer to me, and I stiffened in his hold as his mouth pressed in close to my ear. “My thirst, as you put it, will be quenched soon enough, and we shall see what I long for after I have my first taste.”

He pulled back and his dark blue eyes stared down at me.

“Have you fed from another?” The question felt so intimate, but they had paid no mind when they asked the same of me.

“I have.” He nodded. “But none that have awoken my true power. None that feel the same as you.” His hand skimmed up the length of my back, and the touch felt indecent with all of these people watching. But I would be a fool to deny the thrill that ran through me with his touch.

It was unlike anything I had ever sensed before. It was a persuasion and a cautioning all at once.

The song came to an end, and Gavril wavered as he finally removed his hand from my back. He dipped into a small bow as he let my hand fall between us. There were several others dancing around us, others that I had barely even noticed, but I looked up toward the dais to find the queen’s eyes directly on me.

“Thank you for the dance, Adara.” Gavril stood back to his full height before he lifted his hand as if he wished to touch my face. I took a step back before I allowed him to do so.

Gavril searched my face, but I just needed to get away. I needed to escape his touch and their watchful eyes.

I turned toward the doors, and no one stopped me as I quickly made my way back to them. I could feel my heart hammering in my chest and my breath rushing out of me as I tried to calm my mind. This was too much. It was all too much.

I grabbed my long skirt in my hand as I finally made it to the doors, and I looked back to see the queen still following my every move with cold, calculated eyes.

I turned down the hall, desperate to get back to my room, when my chest slammed into another and my breath fell from my lips in a rush.

Evren’s fingers dug into the skin of my upper arms as he steadied me, and that feeling of electricity from earlier intensified. “What happened?” His dark gaze searched mine before he quickly glanced over my head. “Are you okay?”

He was still dressed in solid black, a uniform which I had yet to see him out of, but the fabrics that were currently draped across his skin were much finer than earlier. They reminded me of the prince’s if it weren’t for the lack of the royal crest along his chest.

“Adara.” His hands shook me slightly to get my attention.

I stared back up at his face as I tried to calm myself.

“Are you all right?”

It should have been a simple question, but I didn’t feel all right at all. Not really.

“I don’t want to go back into that hall.” I didn’t need to glance behind me. The voices of the many patrons and the echoes of revelry fell out of the doorway as if it couldn’t contain it.

“We don’t have to.” His fingers tensed on my arms, and he once again looked over my head before nodding once. To one of the other guards, I presumed. “I’d like to show you something.”

Evren reached for my hand, slowly linking his with my own before he pulled me in the opposite direction of the great hall. With every step we took away, my breathing eased. I didn’t think of where Evren was taking me, I simply allowed him to pull me along behind him, and when the cool night air hit me and danced along my exposed skin, I shivered.

The gardens. Evren pulled me farther away from the palace and into the lush gardens that were covered in flowers of a hundred different varieties. I was sure it was breathtaking during the day, but at night it gleamed under the many lanterns that hung from iron posts.

“I tend to come out to these gardens when I need a moment of solace.” Evren hummed as he turned toward me. “It is a nice reprieve from what goes on inside those walls.”

“I was not prepared.” I gently shook my head. “The queen.”

I couldn’t get the way she spoke to me, the way she looked at me, out of my mind.

“The queen is…” He pondered before looking back down at me. “Difficult.”

“Yet you serve her?”

He swallowed hard and shook his head gently as he thought over my question. It weighed heavily on him, but what I didn’t know was why. “You look beautiful.” His gaze trailed down the length of me, and it felt like a slow caress. “Has anyone told you that tonight?”

I shook my head gently. The things the crowned prince had said, they weren’t about me, not really.

“That’s a fucking shame.” He stepped closer to me, and the smell of him was overwhelming. “I shouldn’t be the one to tell you.”

“And why not?” I tilted my head up to look at him.

“We both know why not. My…” Evren looked over my head before quickly looking back down at me. It was a foolish thought, but I could have sworn that his gaze darkened as he did so. “The crowned prince is a fool if he doesn’t see how beautiful you are, nevertheless, you are his.”

“I am no one’s.” My voice was firmer than I intended, and the slight smile on Evren’s lips frustrated me even more.

“But you are.” He moved his hand along the backside of my forearm, and my stomach tightened as I watched his skin against mine. “And soon you’ll be his in marriage and in flesh.”

My gaze snapped back to his. “In a month’s time,” I repeated the words that had felt like my doom. “I will become the princess of Citlali and my blood taken from me in a month’s time.”

“I have been told that the experience is quite pleasurable.”

“What?” My arm recoiled in his touch, and he lowered his voice even further.

“The act of being fed from.” His dark eyes ran over every inch of me. “I have been told that some can hardly control themselves from the type of frenzy it causes inside of you.” His thumb ran along his bottom lip, and for a moment, I couldn’t help wondering what it would be like to have Evren to be the one to feed from me instead.

Would I still be so fearful?

“And have you?” I looked away from him before I could finish my question. “Have you fed from a Starblessed before?”

His fingers lifted and touched my chin gently before he forced me to look back at him. “I have not, but I could only imagine what it would be like.” Every word was like a stroke along my starving skin. “I could only dream of what one would feel to taste you.”

Evren was barely touching me. Only his finger remained at the base of my chin, but he was stripping me bare with his words. I did not know this man, and I knew that I shouldn’t want to. But my body craved the way he was speaking to me now with his hushed voice and his lips only a whisper away from mine.

Every part of me felt alive, my mark stirring along my skin, and I couldn’t stop myself as I leaned farther into him.

“Adara.”

“Yes?” I blinked up at him, and my hand ached to reach up and push away his dark hair that was falling into his handsome face.

“I should escort you to your room.”

“Of course.” I nodded, but neither of us moved. I was too mesmerized by the way he was looking at me. At me and not the mark on my skin. He was nothing more than a captain of the royal guard, but I was more intrigued by him than I had been with anyone I saw in that gilded hall.

Evren was staring at my mouth, and I could hardly breathe as he did so. I dug my fingers into my palms to keep myself from reaching out for him and demanding him to close the distance between us. My body begged for him to do so, but I wouldn’t dare allow my words to do the same.

His gaze ran over my face before he cleared his throat and stepped back from me. My center of gravity was thrown off with that one small step, and I avoided meeting his eyes as I straightened myself.

“Please allow me to make sure you get back safely to your rooms.” His voice held an edge to it that it had lacked only moments before, but I simply nodded my head once before turning back in the direction of the palace.

I barely noticed the flowers as I walked in front of him and desperately wished for the comforts of a room I did not know.

I didn’t wait for him to open the heavy door that was an inlay of glass and iron. I headed back into the hallway, the warmth of the palace once again overwhelming me, before he could reach for the door.

“Adara, please wait,” he called behind me, but I didn’t stop. I was being foolish, and I had only been gone from my home for one day. I needed sleep and to clear my head.

I needed…

“There you are.” I stopped in my tracks at the sound of Gavril’s voice and watched as he strolled out of a small room with an amber glass in his hand.

Evren almost ran into my back as I stopped so suddenly, and Gavril’s gaze quickly flicked to meet his captain’s.

“I see you finally met my brother.” Gavril’s words felt wrong, and my body stiffened as the truth of who the man I had almost just begged to kiss me hit me. “Who decided that tonight wasn’t important enough to grace us with his presence.”

“Someone has to man the borders.” His voice was much calmer than I felt. “Not all of us can simply host balls and send someone else to fetch their betrothed.”

I watched as Gavril narrowed his eyes at his brother, and I quickly took a step away from the man at my back. I turned to look at him, and it was as if I was seeing him for the first time.

Evren was a high fae, he was a royal, and he was a liar.

He pulled his gaze away from his brother to look at me, and I could have sworn I saw a moment of remorse flash in his dark eyes before it was quickly replaced.

“And how are the borders?”

“Quiet.” Evren didn’t pull his gaze away from me. “I’m not sure where the rumors of the threats are coming from, but we didn’t see any signs of what’s to come.”

What did that mean?Evren was manning the border between Citlali and the human lands?

“But maybe this isn’t the best place to discuss it.” Evren nodded his head in my direction, and I hated how easily he had just dismissed me.

“You’re right, brother.” Gavril moved forward and clapped his hand on Evren’s shoulder.

I searched the two of them for similarities I might have missed, but they looked so different from one another. So in opposition. And I had been easily fooled.

“I was just escorting Ms. Cahira to her room.” Evren bowed his head to his brother. “I will make sure that she gets there safely.”

I didn’t want to go anywhere with him, but I didn’t say those words. I just stared ahead as the two of them discussed me like I wasn’t even there.

“I will handle it from here.” Gavril held out his arm to me, and my hand trembled as I wavered in my choice. But I finally slipped my hand upon his arm and avoided looking at Evren altogether. “She is my betrothed, after all.”

“Of course.” Evren bowed deeper this time, and I absently wondered what such a powerful man would look like on his knees. He had said that the kingdom of Citlali would fall to their knees in front of me, but I wasn’t interested in them.

Suddenly, I felt so angry with this man that I couldn’t spare an ounce of concern for anyone else.

Gavril started forward, and I looked over my shoulder just as Evren stood back to his full height. He didn’t meet my eyes, though. He was staring directly at the spot where his brother was touching me.

I watched as his fist clenched at his side, and my own hand tightened against his brother. Evren’s gaze flew up to meet mine, but I quickly looked away and followed the crowned prince where he led me.

He was quiet for a long moment as my heart raced. I simply wished to get back to my room so I could put the entire day behind me. I had a month’s time in this palace. A month to figure out what exactly I planned to do with the role my fate had handed me.

“I’m sorry you had to hear all that talk of borders and threats.” Gavril gave me a tight smile. “I fear my brother is equal parts brute and royal, and he sometimes forgets his place in this family.”

“That’s all right, Your Highness.” I faltered over my words because I was unsure of how to address him.

“Please, call me Gavril. Especially when there are no watchful eyes.”

Would that mean the expectation would be different when there was?

We arrived at my door, and I let my hand fall from his arm. “Good night, Gavril.”

“Good night.” He smiled again, this time with much less tension. “I shall see you again tomorrow.”

I nodded because he had summoned me here. I had no other choice. I opened my door, but I hesitated before walking through it fully when he called my name.

“You looked absolutely beautiful tonight.”