Chapter 19

CHAPTER19

We waved goodbye to Ren as we rode away from the village, but that felt like hours ago. Every moment took me farther away from the kingdom, but somehow felt like it was taking me closer to my doom.

Evren had sent word to Gavril, and I had no idea what he had told him. Would Gavril meet us at Nabál? Would he come once the threat was over?

Evren’s hand tightened around me as if he could sense the thoughts running through my mind. “Do we need to stop?”

“No.” I shook my head quickly and tightened my hands on the pommel of the saddle to keep myself from leaning back into him. I didn’t want to get too comfortable, too used to this thing that was happening between us.

“Are you sure? Your back went rigid. Are you sore?”

I was. Increasingly so with every mile that we traveled, but that wasn’t what was bothering me. “I’m fine, Evren. I’m just ready to arrive.”

He was silent for a long moment behind me, and I thought that he was going to drop it as I looked over at Jorah. He was watching the tree line dutifully as we traveled, and he took the last attack as personally as Evren had.

“Are you angry about what happened at the inn?” Evren cleared his throat, and a chill ran down my spine. “I didn’t mean to hurt you. I shouldn’t have…”

“You didn’t hurt me.” I shook my head and turned to look at him over my shoulder. “I told you I wanted what happened back there.”

“Then what’s wrong?”

The urge to tell him that I wished we could just ride away from this place and never return was on the tip of my tongue, because I would. If Evren asked it of me, I would follow him wherever he was willing to take me.

Away from both of our duties and fates.

“What role will I have as Gavril’s queen?”

He went stiff behind me at my question. “What do you mean?”

“Gavril is meant to rule over both the fae and human realms, is he not?” I looked forward again and thought about the home I had left.

“He is.”

“And what about me? Will I have that same rule?”

“Princess?” My nickname was a whisper from his lips.

“I refuse to sit in that castle with servants and feasts while people around us starve. Have you ever seen someone who is truly starving, Evren? Have you witnessed what that’s like?”

More hesitation and I worried I had crossed a line. I was about to tell him to forget what I had said just as he spoke. “I’ve witnessed more of it than I dare speak of. It isn’t just your human lands that are starving, princess.”

I hadn’t thought of that. I hadn’t considered that fae who possessed magic could ever get to that point.

“Ren was little more than skin and bones the first time Jorah and I stopped in Iladonia.” His voice was gruff and laced with anger. “We make a point to stop there every time we travel now. Without my coin, they would barely survive.”

My stomach ached as I thought of Ren’s smiling face. I couldn’t imagine him any other way. I couldn’t see him the way Evren described.

“And your father? Why doesn’t he do anything about it?”

“Kings are rarely concerned with things that don’t fill their coffers, princess. A man could be starving in front of my father, and I’m not sure he would extend him a piece of bread.”

“Doesn’t that bother you?” I shook my head. “That you serve a man who could be so cruel?”

“He is my father.”

“And he killed mine. Just because someone is your blood doesn’t mean they deserve your loyalty.”

Evren sighed, and I knew there was more he wanted to say. There was so much more he wasn’t willing to tell me.

“Princess, I…”

“Yes?” Please talk to me.

“I wish that the world was different. I dream of a place where these burdens don’t exist.”

“And what of your mother?”

“What do you mean?” His hand tightened against me, and I knew he didn’t want to talk about her.

“What is the world like where she lives?”

“I… I don’t know.”

My mark burned against my skin as he spoke of her.

“But I can’t imagine that it could be the same as Citlali.”

There was so much power in his voice, and my marks burned in warning. Was he lying?

“Do you miss her?”

“Do you miss yours?” he countered quickly.

“Sometimes.” I shrugged. “When I’m with Gavril or the queen. When I’m longing for a home I barely knew.”

“And when you’re with me?”

“I don’t think of her at all.”

His breath rushed out against the back of my neck, and I feared that I had said too much.

“You would have made a great king, Evren.”

Jorah’s gaze slammed into mine as I spoke, and I feared that he could hear every word that was said between us.

“We should stop here.” Jorah nodded to a cropping of trees that lay near a small brook. “The night will fall soon.”

Evren nodded in agreement and led us over to the trees. He dismounted before helping me down, and I wrapped my arms around myself as I thought of what was to come. One more night. We had one more night before we were to make it to Nabál.

“We will arrive tomorrow?”

“We shall.” Jorah nodded as he tied his mare near the water. “It’s just another day’s ride.”

Evren pulled things from the saddlebags as he looked over at me. He knew what tomorrow meant as well. I could feel it like a bad omen against my marks.

I wasn’t ready to face it, and neither was he.

“What did your word to Gavril say?”

“What?” Evren asked as he dropped a bedroll onto the ground.

“You said you sent word back to the palace. What did it say?”

“What does it matter, princess?” He cocked his head to the side as he watched me. “What did you want me to say?”

“I don’t know.” I shook my head, and Evren stepped toward me.

“Did you want me to tell them that you were captured by the vampyres? That I was going to have to go to the Blood Court and fight for you? That you may never be seen again?”

My heart raced harder the closer he got to me. “I don’t know.”

He wrapped his hand into my hair and angled my head until I had no choice but to look up at him. “Did you want me to tell him that I am more than willing to betray my family for you? That I’ll give it all up for the girl who’s supposed to be my brother’s future?”

I swallowed hard as I stared at him. His gaze dropped to my mouth before he leaned forward and ran his nose along my jaw. I could feel his breath rushing out against my neck, and I melted against him.

“I could tell him those things, but he would never stop. He would hunt us down to the edges of the world to get you back.”

“Gavril doesn’t care about me.”

“No.” He shook his head against me. “But he cares about your power, and nothing else is more important to him. Nothing is more important to the queen. They would rather kill you than let me have you.”

I bit down on my lip as I thought of what he was saying, and I knew that he was right. I shuddered. They would never stop. I didn’t want to think about what they would do when they found me. When they found us.

“Let’s get some rest.” Evren pulled away from me slowly, and I hated the way he avoided my gaze as he did so. “I’ll take first watch,” he called out to Jorah. “Both of you get some rest.”

He left me standing there as he went back to his horse and led him to the water. I quickly reached for the bedroll he left and unrolled it before slipping inside. Jorah moved near me, stacking wood for a small fire, and I clamped my eyes closed so he couldn’t see the hurt and fear that lay there.

I listened to the sounds he made as he lit the fire and then laid his bedroll on the opposite side of the flames from mine. I shivered as I wrapped my arms around myself despite the warmth from the fire.

“Is she all right?” The sound of Jorah’s voice startled me some moments later, but I kept myself perfectly still as I listened.

“I don’t know.” Evren sounded much closer than before. “She’s not going to go back, Jorah. She’ll run again before she does so.”

“Then what’s your plan?” Jorah hesitated for a long moment. “Do we tell her?”

They were silent for so long after his question that I almost drifted to sleep. “Not yet. I fear what she’ll do when she finds out. I fear she may already know.”

Know what? I could still hear their muffled voices, but the pull of sleep was too much to fight.

I fell asleep to thoughts of what he said running over and over in my mind. They haunted me until my dreams became worse. Thoughts of what would happen when we finally arrived preyed upon me in my sleep, and I awoke with a gasp as Gavril’s mouth pressed against my new mark and my wrist burned as if I had been scorched.

I shot up in my bedroll and jerked my wrist into my chest. It had felt like I had only been asleep for a few moments, but the darkness had fallen over us and the only light left was that of the fire and the twin moons in the sky.

“Are you all right?” Evren stepped out of the trees at my side, and I jumped.

“Yes.” I nodded even though I couldn’t seem to drop my wrist. I looked toward Jorah, and his chest rose and fell peacefully where he lay on top of his bedroll.

“Are you sure?” Evren squatted down beside me, and I allowed myself to look up at him.

“I just had a bad dream.”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“No.” I shook my head. I didn’t want to talk about it or think about it.

“Okay.” He reached forward and took my hand in his before he lifted it to his mouth. He kept his eyes on me as he pressed his lips to my inner wrist just along my mark. “Try to get some more sleep. We only have a few more hours before we travel again.”

“Shouldn’t you be sleeping?”

Evren grinned at my concern. “Jorah needs the rest. I feel…” He hesitated as he searched my face. “I feel strong.”

“Because you fed from me?”

“I believe so, yes.” He nodded. “I haven’t tired like I normally would.”

“You still need rest.” I pulled my arm back toward me, and he reluctantly dropped it. “I could keep watch for a while.”

He chuckled softly. “Are you going to protect us if we’re attacked?”

“I could.” I pulled my dagger from my boot and held it to his neck before he could realize what I was doing. “I’m not completely useless, you know.”

“I don’t think anyone could ever find you useless, princess.” Evren grinned even with my knife pressed to his neck. “I could find many uses for you and for your dagger.”

“What?”

He moved so quickly that I didn’t have time to react. He flipped my dagger from my hand and into his before he slowly ran the tip along my collarbone.

“Would you like me to show you?”

“No.” My voice trembled with the lie on my tongue.

“If only you had more clothes with you.” Ever so carefully, he moved the dagger down my chest until it met the top button of my shirt. “I would cut through every bit of fabric that’s standing between us.”

He slid the dagger lower and cut through the first button. “I would cut the world down to keep it from getting between us.”

“You confuse me.” I shook my head and pressed my hand against his to stop my dagger. “You say things like that, but you’re willing to hand me straight to them.”

“What do you want me to do, princess?” He let my dagger fall to the ground beside us. “Tell me what you want, and I’ll give it to you.”

“I don’t know.” I shook my head because I was more confused than ever. I didn’t know what I was asking of Evren, but either way, I knew it wasn’t fair. Gavril was his family. Citlali his kingdom.

And I was nothing more than the Starblessed he was meant to protect.

Evren pressed his hand to my chest, his fingers digging into my skin, as if he was searching for his control, and he felt as desperate as I did inside.

“If I knew how to do this, I would. If I knew how to love you without getting you hurt, I would never allow them to touch you again.”

“Your family?”

“Your enemies.” His hand slid up my chest and around my neck. My pulse raced beneath the tips of his fingers, and I knew he could feel the fear that ran through my veins.

“I don’t want to go back.” My voice cracked, and I hated how easily my fear was taking over. I had spent my whole life knowing what lay ahead for me, preparing for it, but it hadn’t been enough.

“I know.” He nodded and pressed his forehead to mine. “I won’t make you.”

“What?” I jerked back to look at him, but his hands held me firmly in place.

“I would rather leave this world than to watch my brother take from you again. I will give up everything for you, princess.”

I searched his gaze, and I could see the truth that lay there.

“What do we do?” I rose to my knees to pull myself closer to him, and his breath rushed out against my lips.

“I don’t know.” He shook his head against me. “But we’ll figure it out with the rise of the sun. Tonight, you need to rest.”

He started to pull away, but I held him against me. I couldn’t let him go. Not now. Not ever. “Tonight, I need you.”

Evren looked over to where Jorah was sleeping only a few feet away from us, but I didn’t care. I couldn’t go another moment without touching him, without feeling alive in a way that only he could make me feel.

“Please, Evren.” I pressed my lips to his, and he didn’t fight me. Instead, he groaned against my mouth before he sucked my bottom lip between his. He bit down gently, teasingly, and pleasure coursed through me.

I reached forward before he could stop me and pulled his shirt from his trousers before I fumbled with the buttons. I was only halfway done when he reached behind him and pulled his shirt over his head.

He searched my gaze for a moment before he wrapped his hand back around the nape of my neck and forced my mouth to his once again. He kissed me with a desperation that I had never felt before. Tonight was different.

It felt like more.

More than what we had ever allowed ourselves to feel for one another. More than I ever allowed myself to admit.

Evren kissed me hard as his hand pressed against my breast and kneaded my flesh through my thin shirt. I moaned against him, and he bit down against my tongue before slowly sucking it into his mouth.

“Gods, you possess me.” He pulled away and jerked my shirt over my head. “You make me feel like a man gone mad.”

“I’m not doing anything.” I shook my head, but the reality was that I felt the same. I couldn’t think clearly when I was around him. I couldn’t breathe.

“You most certainly fucking are.” He gripped my hips in his hands and lifted me until I was fully on my knees. His deft fingers made quick work of my trousers, and I shivered even with the lick of the flames at my back. “You are sin, princess, and I need to taste it. I need the reminder on my tongue while you ride my face.”

I whimpered as Evren pushed me down on the bedroll and jerked my boots from my feet before my trousers followed. I was left completely bare in front of him. He lifted his fingers, pressing them against my lips before he slowly ran them down my body. He caressed my neck before his palm met my sternum, slow and calculating. His touch dropped lower and lower until he slid a finger through my sex, and I cried out at his touch.

Evren dropped to his back beside me just as his thumb traced over the mark on my thigh. I trembled as I watched him touch me, and I yelped when his fingers dug into my thighs and pulled me up over his chest.

“Evren.” My voice shook with the uncertainty that raced in my mind.

“I’ve got you, Adara.” He lifted me farther until my knees were situated on either side of his head.

I pressed my hands to my thighs as I held myself above him, but Evren dug his fingers into my backside and tugged me down.

“Evren, I don’t think…”

“I’m dying to taste you, princess.” He lifted forward and rolled his tongue through my sex. “I’ve never tasted anything more perfect in all my life.”

He jerked me down lower until I was practically sitting on his face, and I moaned as he hummed against me. “That’s it. Sit on my face and fuck your pleasure from my mouth.”

“Oh gods.” I clamped my eyes closed as his words alone pulled pleasure from my body. Then he used his mouth.

He wasn’t gentle or patient. He was frantic as he dove into my flesh, and I could barely hold myself up as he used his tongue and lips and teeth against me.

I slammed my hands back against his abdomen as I began rocking against him, and when I looked down and saw him staring up at me, a deep ache began in my stomach.

“Evren,” I said his name as I rolled my hips, and he hummed his encouragement against me.

He sucked my sex into his mouth, and I squeezed my thighs against his head.

My pleasure soared through me quickly, stealing the air from my lungs, and I bit down on my lip to muffle my cries.

Evren didn’t give me a chance to recover. He gripped my backside in his hands and slid me down his body until my hips met his.

He kissed me then, his lips brushing against my skin, and every bit of air left my lungs.

“I can’t get enough of you, princess. I’ll never be able to part from you.”

He dug his fingers in my hair and pulled me away from him. He stared up at me, and his gaze ran over every inch of my face.

“My brother will fight for you, but so will I.”

My chest ached, and I didn’t know if it was from what he was confessing or from fear of what he’d be willing to do. “I…” The urge to tell him that I loved him was on the tip of my tongue, but I bit down against it to stop myself.

“I will fight through hell to keep you from him, Adara.” His mouth was possessive as it ran down my body and caused spark after spark of pleasure to run through me.

He lifted me onto my knees, and I watched as he unbuttoned his pants and pulled out his rigid cock. It pressed against me, and I tensed with my hands on his shoulders.

“I want to watch you.” He held his cock against my entrance and guided me until I slowly lowered myself fully against him. I pressed my eyes closed as the fullness of him overwhelmed me, and Evren nipped his teeth just along my sternum.

“Move, princess. You’ve spent far too much of your life being told what you want, but I want to see it from your eyes. Show me what it is you desire most.”

You.

It was the only thing I could think as I rolled my hips against him. I used to dream of what life would be like if I ran, if I could be anyone other than who I was, but that dream had shifted.

It had become centered around a man that I shouldn’t want. That I shouldn’t need.

But it was him just the same.

He ran his fingers along my spine, urging me on, and something stirred inside me. Something that felt like it had been sleeping for a long time, and I pushed to my knees before dropping back down against him.

Over and over, the feeling built, and my body moved. I chased that sensation that flowed through me physically and somehow more.

I stared down at Evren and the way he was looking at me. His hands caressed my body, but they weren’t demanding. This was about me, and my stomach fluttered as I thought about how easily he knew I needed this.

I was the Starblessed, the savior of his kingdom, but I was also Adara. And right now, I felt lost beyond who I was fated to be.

“Look, Adara.” Evren rubbed his fingers over my thigh, and I tracked his movement. My star mark danced along my skin, and the slightest glow unlike anything I had ever seen radiated from it.

“What?” I shook my head as I tried to make sense of what was happening, but Evren pressed his thumb roughly against my mark, and my sex spasmed against him.

“You were fucking meant for me.” He wrapped his arms around my back and helped me as I lifted and dropped against him. Harder and harder, his arms carrying my weight as he slammed up into me. “Your fate is wrong.”

My pleasure raced through my body as if it were chasing his words like an oath.

“You are the firstborn son of King Riven,” I whimpered as he slammed into me once more.

His forehead pressed against my neck, and his rough breath rushed out against my skin.

“I was fated for you, Evren.” My spine burned like a million fires along my skin, and I knew I wouldn’t be able to handle much more.

Evren’s hands tightened around me as if he feared I would disappear, and when his fingers stroked over my spine once more, I fell apart with a cry on my lips.

I clung to him as he thrust into me again, drawing his own pleasure from my body, and I watched as the starlight along my wrist glowed against his skin.

I wasn’t sure of anything in this life, but one thing I knew for certain was that Evren was my destiny.