21. LONNIE

21

LONNIE

THE CUTTHROAT DISTRICT, INBETWIXT

" H ow do you feel?" Ambrose asked.

I grimaced and sat up, wiping sweat from my face with the back of my uninjured hand. "Like I'm dying."

"You are."

I felt my heartbeat speed up, almost in something like anticipation. Anxiety perhaps, that I was about to hear exactly what I'd been dreading for months.

The pain from the arrows was gone. Once the Source-forged steel that was poisonous to fae was removed from my skin the wounds were able to close over quickly. Still, I felt weak and nauseous, and my head was pounding with yet another migraine.

After the arrows were removed and I'd consumed more blood than I'd ever even considered possible, we'd left the wine seller and returned to the heart of the thieves' den. I was now lying on my back in one of the slightly uncomfortable beds in the dormitory style barracks where the thieves usually slept when coming back from jobs.

Lonnie had laid in bed beside me for several hours, until finally Scion convinced her to wash the blood and grimy cave water from her skin. They'd left barely ten minutes ago, and I already missed both their presence.

"Did you hear me?" Ambrose asked roughly.

I looked up at Ambrose, who was leaning against the wall beside the door watching me. I didn't hate him nearly as much as Scion did, but I also wasn't at all comforted by my cousin looming over me. I wished he'd leave and let me sleep, but evidently he had something to say.

"Yeah, I fucking heard you," I grumbled. "Did your healing not work?"

He shook his head, his expression flat and slightly distant. Despite everything else, I found myself slightly annoyed by his attitude. My cousin had the worst fucking bedside manner of anyone I'd ever met–which was saying a lot, as I'd grown up with Scion.

Then again, he'd saved my life, so I probably shouldn't be so ungrateful.

I glanced down at my own chest, as if the arrow wounds might burst open and start bleeding once more. Before I could ask, Ambrose beat me to it.

"That's not what I meant," he said flatly. "Your wounds are fine, though I feel the need to point out it was stupid of you to allow yourself to get hit in the first place."

"I didn't allow myself to do anything,' I snapped. "You weren't there."

He raised an eyebrow, giving me a maddeningly superior look. "You're very decisive, you know."

I glared at him. "What?"

"You make clear decisions. Like, you never even considered letting Lonnie walk out of the vault first. That makes my job easier, because you don't create ripples of alternative futures the way most do."

"Alright…why do I feel like that's not a compliment."

"It's neither a compliment nor an insult." He shrugged. "It just means that unlike Lonnie or Scion, I can actually tell you with almost perfect certainty what your future holds."

"Enlighten me then," I grumbled.

"Your reactions are getting slower, as evidenced by the fact that you couldn't avoid these arrows. You're not eating anything. You're fatigued and struggling to use basic magic."

"What makes you–" I started hotly.

"Why didn't you dissolve the arrows in thin air?" he asked. "Six months ago, this would not have happened. In six more months you'll be dead. Likely a lot sooner."

I heard him, but rather than taking it in, suddenly I was pissed.

Ambrose seemed not only to be as quick tempered and moody as his brother, but he also gave off the impression that he didn't care about anything except the greater good. For all Scion's faults, he cared. He cared too much about everyone and everything until he nearly drove himself insane. I wasn't sure what Ambrose cared about, but I doubted very much that it was us.

"You're a prick, you know that?" I barked at him. "Fuck man, work on your delivery. Do you always talk to people like they're stupid while telling them they're going to die?"

Ambrose raised an eyebrow. "Would you rather I ignore this as you've clearly been doing?"

"Maybe," I snapped. "It's none of your concern."

He pushed off the wall and came to strand directly in front of my bed. "Actually, it is because if you die, then we all die."

I gritted my teeth and sighed, suddenly feeling exhausted. "So it's the curse?"

He nodded. "When did this start?"

"Right before Lonnie left us in that inn a few weeks ago."

He nodded, as if he'd already known that—or at least guessed. "What happened to trigger it?"

"I don't know," I said angrily. A slight burn scalded my throat and I coughed, before correcting: "I don't know for certain."

"What do you suspect, then?"

"I was…happy," I said, pained. "I didn't think it would happen. I haven't completed the mate bond because I know that would be too much."

He cocked his head to the side curiously. "Evidently that's not the only danger."

"I've done nearly everything right," I burst out bitterly. "Scion sealed his fucking mate bond and didn't even know it. How is this different?"

"Scion is constantly haunted by the years he spent in Aftermath. He loves Lonnie, but views the actual mating as more of a duty to her and the country than a gift he never expected to get to have. I don't know if he'll ever be truly happy, but if so, I doubt it would be caused by the bonding alone."

"That makes no sense," I snapped. "We were always told we couldn't mate or it would kill all of us."

"We were always told we couldn't mate because it might make us happy," Ambrose corrected. "It seems to me that the completion of the bond isn't the barrier to your true happiness. You love Lonnie, and Scion is your only friend—practically a brother. You're happy when all three of you are safe."

I sighed, feeling defeated. "So I'm killing us."

"Yes," he replied. "I think so. I'd always imagined it would be more immediate, rather than a gradual thing, but I don't think there's any doubt as to why you've been so ill. You saw them when you were hurt. Once you die, they'll both follow soon after."

"And you." I looked up at him sharply. "This will affect you too."

"Yes," Ambrose sighed, "but fortunately I'm not all that worried about it."

I laughed hollowly. "Why? You don't seem suicidal to me."

He scowled. "I'm not worried because you're going to leave."

"Oh, is that right?" I said sardonically.

He didn't rise to the bait. "Yes. You started getting sick when you believed all three of you would travel together to Aftermath, but it stopped when Lonnie left you. In short, being unhappy without her kept you alive. You'll leave again to keep her safe."

I scowled. I would do anything to keep Lonnie safe, but what he was suggesting felt impossible. Like I might shatter if I left just as quickly as if I stayed.

"How long?" I asked.

He shrugged. "I can't say. Once you leave, it will become even more difficult for me to predict the immediate future. I can't see Lonnie or myself, and Scion is unpredictable. I don't think it will be long, though. A few months at most."

"It won't be long until what?" I said shrewdly.

"Until all this comes to an end," he replied cryptically. "One way or another."

I dragged frustrated hands through my hair. "What are you expecting me to do? Just go wait in Overcast? Have tea with my mother and brother while I wait for you all to possibly die?"

"No," Ambrose said. "You know that would be pointless."

"This all feels fucking pointless."

He stood up, his face finally twisting into an expression of annoyance. "Sometimes I forget how young you are."

"Don't fucking do that. I'm not a child."

"No, but you have no concept of patience. You think waiting a year or five is a long time. Try spending eighty years making plans. Thirty years living in fucking Aftermath. Ten years to see your mate. Then perhaps you wouldn't complain about waiting a few months to get everything you could possibly ever want. I'd tell you to stop feeling sorry for yourself, but if that keeps you alive longer than perhaps it's worth it. Regardless, I'm not going to sit here and listen to you complain."

He turned and marched toward the door.

"Wait!" I barked after him. "Then tell me what to do."

"I can't," he said, his voice growing quieter as he walked away. "If I tell you what to do it will change things. All I can say is that if I just became the ruler of an entire kingdom, I might deign to spend some time there. It could be useful down the line."

An hour later, I dragged myself upstairs to the main house.

Cross's townhouse sat above the entrance to the barracks as both a front for the guild and an actual home for Cross and any of his guests.

I pushed open the door of the bedroom I'd once shared with Lonnie, and found Scion sitting on the bed. His legs were straight and he was leaning against the headboard, reading the leatherbound book that we'd gotten from the healer in Cheapside. Next to him, Lonnie was lying on her side wrapped only in a towel, her wet hair fanning out around her. She was using his thigh as a pillow and breathing heavily, clearly fast asleep.

Scion looked up when I entered, his eyes widening. "What are you doing walking around?"

"I'm fine," I waved him off. My eyes darted toward Lonnie. "What's going on?"

"She took a bath, came out here, and immediately passed out. Exhausted from the last few days, I suppose." He narrowed his gaze, still watching me carefully. "Are you certain you're alright? You don't look fine."

"Yeah, well, that has nothing to do with the arrows."

I quickly reiterated everything Ambrose had said, and Scion listened in tense silence while Lonnie slept, blissfully unaware.

"So you're leaving," Scion said flatly. It was more of a statement than a question.

I nodded.

Ambrose had been right. I'd won the throne of Underneath—my father's throne—then promptly left. The unseelie kingdom was likely in disarray, and it was up to me to go control things. I couldn't help but remember how right it had felt to be there—how natural. Like home.

Scion started to rise, jostling lonnie. I put out a hand. "No, don't wake her.'

"She'll be livid if you don't say goodbye."

I winced. "I know, but if I do I'm not sure I'll be able to leave."

He didn't look happy about that, but didn't comment on it. I supposed he knew what I was thinking, given that he'd done the same thing when we were planning to leave for Aftermath.

I moved back toward the door. "Tell her I love her."

"She knows that."

"Fine, then tell her I'm sorry, and I'm only doing this to keep her safe."

Scion raised an eyebrow. "She won't like that either."

I grinned. No, Lonnie probably wouldn't like to hear that but it didn't make it any less true. She was my entire damn world, and I'd do anything to protect her. Even if it meant I never saw her again.