Chapter 18

CHAPTER18

Iawoke to the sound of knocking at the door, and I had barely managed to peek an eye open when Evren called for whomever it was to come in.

Thalia pushed through the door with a worried look on her face and a small parchment in her hand.

I pressed my hand to Evren’s chest as I sat up and pulled his sheet to my chest.

“There’s news.” She held the parchment in his direction before her gaze slid to me.

“What is it?” Evren leaned forward and took the parchment from her hand.

“It’s reported that three dozen fae soldiers ride toward our border.”

“What?” Evren pushed his hair out of his face before quickly opening the parchment. His chest was bare and the sheet fell to his hips. Every bit of the worry that had disappeared from his face last night was back full force, and I tightened my hand in the sheet as I watched him.

“They say that Gavril rides with them.”

Evren’s gaze darted from the parchment to look up at our friend. “That’s impossible.”

I could see it then, the tense posture in Thalia’s shoulders, the way her jaw clenched almost unnoticeably. She was strong, stronger than almost anyone I had ever met, but she was rightfully fearful of the man who had used her. I was fearful of him too.

“What does this mean?”

Evren looked at me as he worked his lip between his teeth. He didn’t say a word. He just looked back down at the parchment in his hand as his other slid over to mine.

He gripped my fingers in his as he read the words that were inked on the parchment, and I could feel his anger rising with each passing second.

“It would appear that my brother would like to find a compromise.” His fingers tightened around the parchment. “He is coming to offer me something in exchange for you.”

“What?” I looked back and forth between him and Thalia, and she could barely meet my gaze. “What could he possibly have to trade?”

“I don’t know.” Evren shook his head before letting go of my hand and climbing out of bed. He pulled his trousers on quickly before pulling a shirt over his head. “But we need to figure it out. We need to prepare for anything with his arrival.”

“He’s a threat.” It wasn’t a question.

“My brother will always be a threat, princess, and the fact that he’s coming here himself is dangerous. I don’t like not knowing what to expect.”

He pulled on a boot before sitting down and quickly tugging the other up his leg.

“Are you all right, Thalia?”

Her gaze slammed into mine, and her eyes widened at my question. She looked like she had been so deep in her own mind that she had forgotten either of us were in the room.

“Yes.” She nodded once. “Of course.”

But she wasn’t. There was no way that she could be. She hadn’t seen Gavril since she escaped from the fae kingdom, but I was sure that she thought of him. I was positive that she dreamed of him and his horror in a way that I couldn’t fathom.

“Get everyone in the throne room, including my mother.” Evren nodded toward her. “We need to prepare before they arrive.”

“Of course.” Thalia turned quickly and left the room without another word.

Evren stood and tucked his shirt into his trousers before rolling up his sleeves. He grabbed something from his desk, tucking it in his pocket, and my worry spiked as I watched him.

“Evren,” I called his name softly, but he didn’t stop. He was pacing his room, gathering his dagger before strapping it to his side. “Evren.”

I was firmer this time, and he finally stopped to look at me.

“You should get dressed.” His gaze fell to my naked body, that was only shielded by his sheet. “We’ll need you, too.”

“Okay,” I agreed, but I made no move to do as he said.

“Adara.”

My gaze snapped up to meet his at the sound of my name, and I pressed the sheet against my chest. There was so much anger and fear in his eyes, and my chest tightened as I saw it.

“There’s nothing he can do.” My voice shook as I climbed to my knees. “You and I are to be married, and there is nothing he can do.”

Evren shook his head as he watched me. “I wish that were true, but we both know that he’s capable of things we can’t even fathom. I fear what he has if he thinks I would be willing to trade you for it.”

“He doesn’t know.” I caught myself before I said something stupid and swallowed hard. “He has no idea that I intend to marry you.”

His gaze darkened, and he closed the space between us with a few short steps. “He doesn’t know how I feel about you.” He leaned down and pressed his fists into the mattress, his face mere inches from mine. “Is that what you mean to say?”

I opened my mouth to answer, but I felt foolish. I slowly shook my head, but Evren reached forward and caught my jaw in his hand. He held it firmly until I was forced to look up at him.

“Because you are right. He doesn’t have a clue.” His thumb ran along my bottom lip. “There is nothing in this world or the next that he can offer me that would make me be willing to give you up. He cannot cause me to falter in what I feel for you, princess.”

I couldn’t catch my breath. I could hardly remember to do anything other than beg him to stay as I stared up at him.

“Get dressed and let’s head to the throne room. We shouldn’t be ill-prepared when he arrives.”

“Okay.” I nodded, but neither of us made a move to leave.

He was still so close, still watching me, and his finger still roamed over my lip.

“Princess,” he groaned softly, and my gaze fell to his lips.

“Promise me.” I reached a hand out and wrapped it around the back of his neck. The sheet fell from my chest, but I made no move to fix it as I pulled him closer to me. “Promise me that no matter what he says, you won’t let him take me.”

It was selfish to ask that of him. Selfish for me to even think, but I couldn’t stop the fear that was coursing through every inch of me.

He leaned closer until his mouth pressed against mine. “I swear it.” His words were a murmur against my lips. “With all that I am, princess, I swear that he will never touch you again. I will stop at nothing to keep you safe.”

My hands trembled against him, and every breath felt like it took effort as I held him to me. “I don’t want to be without you.”

He groaned, and his hand tightened against my face. “Nor I you.”

His lips pressed hard against mine, smothering the fear and worry with want, and I whimpered against his lips as my thighs pressed together.

This want I had for him, it was insistent and greedy. It was unlike anything I had ever felt before.

I knew if we gave in to this want, we would never leave the room. We would be exactly as he feared. Completely unprepared for his brother’s arrival.

“We should go and meet everyone.”

Evren nodded against me, but the way he lingered told me he was as hesitant to leave me as I was him. In this room, in these moments we had alone, there was nothing but the two of us. The rest of the world is what destroyed us. It was the rest of the world that caused me to doubt.

But I couldn’t bring that doubt to the surface of this moment. All I knew was I was his and he was mine, and he would do as he promised. He would protect me at all costs, and I was selfish for asking that of him.

I climbed out of bed quickly and threw on yesterday’s clothes as Evren finished strapping weapons to his body. I slipped on my boots, and he held my dagger in my direction. I slid it into my boot before standing up next him and taking his hand in mine.

“You stay at my side.” He tucked a piece of my hair behind my ear. “No matter what, you stay at my side.”

I nodded because there was no way that I could leave him. Not now. Not with all this fear coursing through me. He was my safety, and I could feel it with every part of me.

We left his room hand in hand and made our way down to the throne room. Everyone was already inside sitting at the table, murmuring over maps and arguing over plans.

Mina and a few others were scurrying about the room, bringing in food and drink and placing them on the table. She looked flustered, her hands wringing against her apron and her normally pinned-back hair loose against her face. I stopped before her and let my hand slip from Evren’s.

I grabbed her arms in my hands and bent until we were eye to eye. “Thank you, Mina.”

She blinked up at me rapidly and her face turned ashen. I didn’t know if it was fear for her kingdom or her prince or maybe even me, but it was fear just the same.

“I’m going to grab some tea.” She pushed her hair her out of her face. “Everyone could use some calming tea.” Her gaze searched the room, and I knew this was the only way Mina could help in that moment.

“That would be lovely.”

She walked past me, and Evren snatched my hand back in his.

“Mina is scared,” I whispered to him, and he nodded.

“Everyone is scared, princess. It is how we choose to use that fear that will define us. It is how we choose to use it that will determine the fate of our world.”

Evren moved to the head of the table where only one chair remained. Queen Veda sat to his right with several of her men while Sorin, Thalia, and Jorah all sat to his left.

I took a step back and tried to pull my fingers from his, but he held me more firmly. “Sit.”

He pulled out the chair at the head of the table, the chair that we had made love in mere hours ago, and I sat down where he asked me to. Queen Veda’s wide gaze snapped up in my direction.

Evren moved to the other end of the table and grabbed a chair before bringing it back to me. He put the chair between his mother and me, and I felt like it was a clear divide on where I stood. There was his mother’s side of the table with her men and then there was his. Sorin grabbed the arm of my chair and scooted me toward him with a loud scrape on the floor that made it evident where I belonged.

Evren sat down next to me, as tightly as the two of us could fit together, before looking at the parchments in front of him. “What do we know?”

Jorah spoke before anyone else could. “Gavril’s men reached the outskirts of their land and delivered the parchment to one of our soldiers.” He nodded to the parchment that lay before us. “He has three dozen men with him, and no others that we have been able to track. We’re worried about an ambush, but there have been no signs that that’s the truth.”

“He can’t be trusted.” Queen Veda crossed her arms and leaned back in her chair. “I don’t trust that he’s coming here with only three dozen men. That would be a damning move for him.”

“It would be if he deemed me capable of harming him.” Evren reached forward and grabbed the parchment. He studied the writing, and I wondered what he was looking for. What signs he was searching for to find the truth behind his brother’s lies. “He thinks that we hold no power and that him compromising with us will be seen as a gift.”

Evren looked up from the parchment and looked around the table before his gaze finally settled on me. “My brother is much like his mother, and both have made a habit of underestimating me. We will use that weakness to our advantage.”

Queen Veda looked unsure of what he said, and I didn’t know if the worry that lay in her eyes was for her kingdom or for her son who was willing to sacrifice everything for it.

“We are going to tell him of your betrothal?” She looked back and forth between the two of us.

“We are.” Evren tossed the parchment back down on the table and took my hand back in his. “The invitation that he sent was not only a threat to my mate, but a threat to me.” His hand tightened in mine. “He wants me to fear what he is capable of, of what he’s capable of taking from me, but he is the one who should fear me.”

I looked over at Evren’s circle of friends, and every one of them looked so proud of their prince. They looked so sure of his words and the truth that rang behind them, and I found myself believing every one of them as well.

“The two of you must make this believable.” She looked back and forth between Evren and me. “Gavril must believe without a doubt that the two of you are in love and incapable of losing the other.”

My back straightened, and I took in a sharp breath. I knew one of those things with absolute certainty. I was incapable of losing him. But it was the other that gave me pause. He was my mate, and I knew that I felt strongly for him. I felt more for him than I had ever felt for another, but I wasn’t sure if that was love.

“Are you capable of that, Adara?”

I stared at the queen as I gripped Evren’s hand firmly in mine. I could feel my magic swirling inside of me, my marks buzzing with the emotions that were running through me. “I am capable of whatever Evren asks of me.” I lifted my chin and felt everyone’s eyes on me. “I am his to command and his alone.”

Her eyes narrowed and her back straightened as she watched me. “I am your queen.”

I felt Evren’s magic churn against my own, calling to me, coaxing me to behave, but it wasn’t that simple.

“Evren is my mate. He is my prince and my future husband. You being my queen does not eclipse any of those facts. I will show Gavril that I am deeply devoted to my mate, because I am.” I didn’t let my gaze fall from hers. “Will others have trouble showing the same devotion?”

Queen Veda opened her mouth to speak, but I wasn’t finished.

“A prince born of blood. Another of power,” I quoted the prophecy to her that I hadn’t been able to forget since Evren told me, and I saw her blink in confusion. “We are fighting a war of two queens, but the prophecy speaks of neither. The fate of our kingdom lies with your son, and it will be him and him alone who determines what role I play in it.”

I finally let my gaze fall from her, and it fell back on Evren who was watching me. His gaze was dark and full of lust, and it made me ache with the memories of what he could do to me.

He raised my hand in his, his gaze never falling from mine, as he pressed his lips against my knuckles. My stomach fluttered, and my heart raced as I watched him.

“Gavril will believe that Adara belongs to me because it’s the truth.” Evren finally pulled his gaze away from me to look back at the others. “She belongs to me as much as I belong to her, and regardless of what my brother offers in compromise, I will not give her up.”

“And are you ready to face the consequences of that decision?” The queen stared at her son, and I knew what she was asking. Was he prepared to choose me over his kingdom? Was he prepared to let down the people he had sacrificed his entire life to protect?

“There is no doubt in my mind over what I will choose.” Evren’s magic snaked along my palm. “So you ought to clear the doubt from yours and prepare yourself for war if that’s what it takes. I will go to war for my kingdom, and I will go to war for my mate.”

My chest tightened as I took in his words, as I took in the promise he had just delivered, but it was the next words that made me feel like I couldn’t breathe.

“As will I.” Thalia’s voice was sure and left no room for argument. “I will choose Adara, and I will go to war for her if that’s what it takes.”

“As will I.” Sorin nodded in my direction, and emotion welled up inside of me.

“Without question.” Jorah held the queen’s gaze, and it hit me at that moment how much the three of them had come to mean to me. They were Evren’s friends, his advisors, and comrades, but they had also become mine.

“We should hide her.” Queen Veda looked to Evren. “She would be so much safer if we did so.”

“No.” Evren’s magic surged, and I could feel it along with my own. “Gavril already knows that she’s with me. There is no use in hiding her now.”

“But she would be safer.” She looked to Sorin then back to my mate. “We all know that she is the key to the prophecy and keeping her hidden would be the best plan for keeping her out of Gavril’s hands.”

“I won’t hide.” I pressed my boots firmly against the floor as I looked around the table. “The prophecy has made it clear that I will be used by one kingdom or another, but I won’t be used by hiding. If I’m to help your kingdom then I am to become a weapon.”

Queen Veda shook her head, and I knew that she didn’t agree but it wasn’t her decision to make. Evren said that I was to stay at his side, and for me, that meant even when his brother arrived.

“Sorin and Jorah, make sure that our men are ready.” Evren issued the command without looking back at his mother. “We should be prepared for any kind of trick that Gavril could throw our way.”

Sorin and Jorah stood, both bowing their heads slightly in Evren’s direction before leaving the table.

“Thalia, I’d like for you to work with Adara in my room. Make sure she’s ready to control all of her magic if the need arises.” He didn’t look at me as he gave her his command.

“Of course.” Thalia stood and looked to me, but I wasn’t ready to leave his side.

“But…” I tugged on Evren’s hand, and he lifted them and pressed my knuckles against his mouth once more.

“I will meet you shortly.” His gaze never fell from mine. “Stay with Thalia.”

I stood slowly, even though it was the last thing I wanted to do, and my magic reached out for Evren as if it was begging me not to leave. I leaned down and grasped his face in my hands, and I pressed my lips to his before I could think better of it. I kissed him hard and desperately. I didn’t care that there were still so many in the room watching us. I didn’t care that his mother sat next to him while I desperately clung to my mate.

He pressed his forehead to mine as we broke the kiss, and his breath rushed out against my lips. “You are mine,” he whispered only loud enough for me to hear, but the possession snaked through every inch of me.

“I am yours.” I stood before I could no longer find the will to do so and looked toward Thalia.

She nodded to me once before I followed her from the throne room with the sound of the queen’s murmured voice echoing behind us. We pushed through the doors and stepped into the hall, and I took a deep breath that didn’t seem to fill my lungs.

“This way.” Thalia led me down the hall but not in the direction of mine or Evren’s rooms. She took me toward the side of the castle I had never been, and I followed behind her dutifully.

“Where are we going?” I struggled to keep up with her long strides. “I thought Evren wanted us to go back to his room.”

Thalia’s gaze bounced down the hallway before looking back at me. “Evren is careful with his words, but you and I are going to the library.”

“The library? I thought he wanted me to train.” I feared that I would have to use my magic when Gavril became a direct threat, and I wasn’t sure I was ready.

“He wants us to research the prophecy to find out whatever we can.” She wrapped her arm in mine and pulled me closer to her. “He wants to have every advantage possible when Gavril arrives at our door.”

“And that advantage lies in the library?”

“Evren knows that power lies in knowledge. Even if we aren’t able to find the answer we seek, we may find the answer we don’t know we need.”

We turned right and went down another long hallway until we reached an ornate set of double doors. Thalia pushed inside and grabbed a small lantern from the table. The library was dark and smelled of old parchment and wood.

It was much bigger than the library I had visited in the fae palace, and I ran my fingers along the spines of the books as we passed.

Thalia led us down the aisles of books, and I followed her step for step as I had no idea where I was going.

“Here.” She set the lantern on a small table that faced an old wooden bookshelf filled to the brim with leather-bound books. “This is where we’ll start.”

I pulled a book from the shelf, dark green leather supple against my fingers, and I sat down at the table and began flipping through it.

It spoke of old fae legends. Legends I had never heard before. There were depictions of former fae kings, and the sacrifices they had made for their people. But it also spoke of power and a thirst for it that had become insatiable. The fae and the vampyres once lived side by side without a single thought of being enemies, but that greed had changed everything.

I quickly flipped through the pages as I found nothing of any use, and then tucked the book back into the shelf. Thalia had three different books laid before her, and she was quickly scanning over them.

I grabbed another book from the shelf and climbed up on the table and set it in my lap. I turned it open, and it landed somewhere in the middle, my attention snagged on a picture of a young Starblessed.

The text spoke of the first Starblessed that was ever noted in our history, a young girl by the name of Alyce, and the humans had feared her for the curse that laid upon her skin. She had been cast out, cast into the woods where the fae and the vampyres lied, and they had referred to her as the Stardoomed. Doomed by the stars, doomed by fate.

The young girl had been taken in by an elderly woman of fae descent, and she raised the girl as if she was her own. The text told of how the girl had been stolen by a vampyre, his thirst rampant and uncontrollable. He had taken from the Stardoomed. Fed from her for only a moment, but the taste of her blood on his lips had almost made him mad with power.

It was the first time either vampyre or fae had seen the power a Starblessed’s blood could hold. That power could be used as a weapon. Starblessed were hunted from the human lands and beyond, and legends of how vampyres and fae snatched humans from the world spiraled into the stories that were told today.

I looked up from the book and stared at Thalia. She was still deep in her reading

“Were your parents Starblessed?”

Thalia’s gaze jumped up to meet mine, and she slowly shook her head. “I don’t remember much of my parents, but I know that neither were blessed by the stars.”

“So what? We’re just chosen at random? There’s no rhyme or reason as to why some of us are Starblessed and others aren’t?”

Thalia closed the book in front of her and turned to face me fully. “I read once that stars chose who to bless because they could see your fate before you were even in your mother’s womb.”

I scoffed. “And you believe that?”

Thalia shrugged and searched my gaze. “I don’t know what I believe. All I know is that the blood that runs in our veins has been blessed or cursed, however you want to look at it, and the blood that runs in yours can be our salvation or our damning. Evren is your mate. I know you can feel that down to your bones, and it’s hard not to believe in some sort of fate when destiny like him waits for you.”

My chest tightened, and she was right. I was destined for him and him for me. “And what of you? What is your destiny?”

“I don’t know.” She looked back to the book that lay on the table in front of her. “I was taken from my parents at a young age, and I knew very little of my destiny other than I was to belong to Gavril. It hadn’t occurred to me that it wasn’t the truth until Evren took me from there.” She took a deep breath, and I tried not to think about the memories I worried were bombarding her. “Take a look around, Adara. If I am destined for anything, it is to live a life defending my friends, fighting for those that I love. I can’t imagine that I wasn’t destined for this.”

“And Sorin?”

Her back straightened and for a small moment, her face fell. “What of him?”

“Do you believe that he is your fate as well?”

“Sorin deserves a lifetime of blessings, and that isn’t something I can give him. Everything I had to offer has already been taken from me, Adara.”

I shook my head, but she continued.

“Sorin is fun, but the two of us will never be.”

“I don’t think he realizes that.”

“He does.” She stood and placed one of the books back on its shelf. “Sorin knows far more about me than I ever intended him to.”

“And you hate that?” I asked.

“Of course, I do.” She trailed her fingers over the books, and I wondered what she was looking for. “Like I said before, knowledge is power.”

I looked down at the book in front of me as I thought about her words. She was right. Knowledge was power, and fear consumed me as I thought about my own lack of knowing who I was.

My chest ached as I thought of my father. I was equal parts him and my mother, but the only parts of him I knew were due to seeing them through me. My stubbornness, my fight… I knew those didn’t come from my mother, and I could only assume I got them from him.

“In that other book you gave me…” I closed the book in front of me and looked back up at Thalia. “It talked about Starblessed being able to amplify their power through nature, to pull from their own supply of power somehow.”

Thalia turned toward me and leaned back against the shelf. “I have read of it, but I’ve never seen it done. It makes sense, though.” Her gaze dropped to her feet. “Our magic is like a well. If we use too much of it, we can drain it completely. Only rest and time can refill that well, but I’ve read that in great times of need, Starblessed have garnered strength from elsewhere.”

“Have you ever emptied your power?”

She hesitated for a long moment and clenched her jaw as she spoke. “Only once.”

“With Gavril?”

Her gaze snapped up to meet mine, and she pressed a trembling hand against her neck. “Gavril was never strong enough to completely drain me, although he tried many times.”

A heaviness settled into my chest as I listened to her without muttering a sound.

“There was once when he came close. It was right before I got out.” She absently toyed with the edge of her shirt as her eyes glazed over with the memory. “When they took me back to my cell, I could feel bone-deep tiredness in me, but I was so angry. I shot what was left of my power out of me, and I didn’t care where it went. I just wanted to get rid of it for a moment. I wanted to rid myself of the thing Gavril wanted most, and I did.”

She swallowed hard, and her gaze met mine again.

“The guards ran from the room in panic as my magic bolted toward them. I was prepared from them to go after Gavril, for him to come back in fury, but it wasn’t him. They went after their captain, and Evren was the only one who was willing to come in my cell. I can still remember the taste of the guard’s fear as they scrambled, but there was no fear in Evren’s eyes.”

My heart ached as I watched my friend relive her hell. I knew nothing of what she had been through. I had been spared by Evren before I ever knew of the horrors she remembered.

“I was prepared to fight Evren, hand to hand if I had to until my magic returned, and he knew it. He reached out for me, and I somehow managed to knock him on his ass. It wasn’t until that moment that I realized he was going to help get me out.”

“And you’ve not seen Gavril since?”

“No.” She crossed her arms over her chest. “It is my understanding that he believes me to be dead.”

“Then maybe you should stay out of sight when he arrives. Let him continue on with that belief.”

“No.” She shook her head firmly. “Just like you, I won’t hide. I want to look him in the face and see his reaction when he realizes that I not only escaped him but how highly his brother regards me.”

Pride bloomed in my chest as I stared at her. She had become my friend in the short time I had been in the Blood kingdom, but she felt like so much more than that.

There was a soft knock behind me, and a chill ran down my marks as I turned around to find Evren standing near the long aisle Thalia had led us down.

“Hi.” I swallowed hard as I stared at him and watched a soft smile form on his lips.

“Hi, princess.”

My breath caught in my throat, and the pull he had on me almost made me forget that Thalia was in the room until I heard her move behind me.

“Any changes?” She moved to my side and pressed her hands onto the table.

“No.” He shook his head softly. “My brother and his men should be here by midmorning tomorrow.” His gaze flicked back and forth between us. “We should all get some rest before he does.”

“Of course.” Thalia reached forward and squeezed my hand in hers for only a moment before she passed me and made her way toward Evren. “I’ll be ready.”

“I know you will.” He nodded toward her as she went to pass, but he caught her arm in his hand before she could. She looked up at him, but her gaze didn’t meet his. He pulled her toward him and wrapped his arms around her as he pulled her into his chest.

Her body seemed to sag against him, and I couldn’t imagine the thoughts that were clouding her mind. She allowed herself only a moment before she pulled herself away from him and ran her hand down the back of her neck.

“You’ll wake me if anything changes?”

“Of course.” He nodded once before his gaze landed on me.

Thalia pushed through the door of the library, and I wondered if she would seek out Sorin. Despite the words she said, I knew that she found some sort of solace in him, and I couldn’t imagine a time that she would need it more.

“We should get some rest as well.” Evren moved toward me and didn’t stop until he rounded the table and pressed himself between my knees. His hands cupped my cheeks as I looked up at him, and he searched my face as his breath rushed out of him.

“Are you okay?” I swallowed and sat the book I still held to my side.

“It would be foolish for me not to be fearful, princess. My brother is coming, and I know without a doubt that you’re the thing he wants.”

“But you won’t let him have me.” There was no question to my words.

“No, princess. You are mine.”