Chapter 6

Chapter Six

T he deep voices talking in English could only belong to two men. Esyllt stilled before she entered the solar. She had no intention of seeing Connor right now. After what had happened last night, she wasn’t sure how to face him, least of all in the presence of his brother, who would no doubt see straight through her embarrassment and enjoy every minute of it. The traces of what her husband had done to her were surely etched on her face for all to see. He had buried his head between her legs and what was worse, or better, or at least, more shocking, was that he had seemed to enjoy it as much as she had. Though she had been the one being given pleasure, he had sounded as if he was the one benefiting from it.

How were they to behave after sharing such intimacy? It had been bad enough when he had made her hold his manhood. But this was a thousand times more unsettling.

Oblivious to the fact that someone was behind the door, the men carried on their conversation. Unable to stop herself, she listened.

“So you really intend to stay in Wales?” Matthew didn’t sound pleased with this development, which didn’t surprise her. It wasn’t hard to guess he only wanted one thing, to go back to England as soon as possible.

“Aye, for a little while at least. I mean to make this marriage work and gain the people of Esgyrn Castle’s respect.”

“Well then, you’re a braver man than I am.”

“I am. But we’ve known this all along, haven’t we?”

While the men laughed, Esyllt considered. Her husband had come back, as promised, and he’d just announced that he wanted to take his responsibilities seriously. She had no time to wonder whether this decision made her happy or not, because what she heard next froze the blood in her veins.

“There is only one problem. If I am to remain here, then you will have to go and get Jane for me. I cannot be without her for so long.” There was a pause, during which her heart almost failed her. “And, Matthew... My wife need not know about it just yet. There will be ample time to introduce her when she arrives.”

The closing of the door indicated that her brother-in-law had left, thankfully using the exit at the other end of the room. It would not do for her to be caught eavesdropping.

A moment later, she heard the sound of boots in the bailey below, heading toward the stables. Clearly, not a moment was to be wasted to go and get this precious Jane. Red hot fury washed through Esyllt, replacing the hurt she’d felt at hearing that in England there was a woman her husband could not be without. How could she have been so na?ve? Of course Connor had a mistress, perhaps even more than one. He had not married her to find love or build a family but to further advance his king’s political ambitions, and he did not love her. In the circumstances, it was not to be marveled at that he should wish to carry on with his life as if nothing had changed.

Had he not all but told her the previous evening that he considered her a wanton creature governed by lust? Hardly a suitable attribute for a wife, as everyone knew. Wives were there for the breeding of legitimate children and, if they were competent enough, the management of the domain. Passion and tenderness were reserved for mistresses, women who had actually been chosen for their allure.

Although... Esyllt frowned. Had Connor not pleasured her in a selfless manner last night, forgetting his own needs, behaving as if he could not resist the desire she inspired in him?

No, he had stamped his authority over her, nothing more. That he had chosen to do it in such an unusual manner did not change the intention. She would not be grateful for an act that only proved his high-handedness.

Before she could think on the wisdom of her actions, Esyllt stormed into the solar. She would not have known how to behave in front of the decadent lover, but she had no problem facing the secretive adulterer. Fury helped overcome any lingering embarrassment over what they had done the night before. Now she understood why he was so knowledgeable about brazen, lustful women, how he knew about the scandalous ways men and women pleasured each other. Because he had a leman who opened her legs to him whenever he lay over her, a mistress with whom to enjoy shocking, decadent lovemaking, the likes of which he had introduced her to only the night before.

And now he wanted that woman, Jane, by his side, here at Castell Esgyrn.

Did he really think she would accept that?

She came to stand in front of him, feeling ten feet tall because she had right on her side. “Husband,” she said as coldly as her boiling rage would allow.

“Wife,” he replied cautiously. Evidently, he had picked up on her mood. Not that it was difficult, she imagined, because she could feel herself trembling with indignation. Her face would most likely be a picture of ire. “How are you this?—”

“Your beloved Matthew is as we speak on his horse, riding back to Sheridan Manor, from what I understand. My, that was quick, considering he only arrived from England last night,” she spat, ignoring the question. “He left without even saying goodbye. I cannot say I will miss him, but I see why you would think that your wife should not be informed of the arrival of your whore in her castle!”

Connor ran a hand over his face. It was clear he had wished to avoid this conversation. Well, too bad, they were having it.

“You were there,” he said warily.

“Of course I was there. This is my home, why shouldn’t I be?” She straightened her spine, wishing she were even taller, more imposing, so she could look him squarely in the eye, as a man would, and intimidate him into contrition. “Who is this Jane? As if I need to ask.”

“Indeed, you do not. You need not concern yourself with her,” was his blunt answer.

Her husband was a daunting man when he chose to be and evidently he had decided that fixing her with his amazing eyes would be enough to deter further discussion on a subject he was loath to discuss. He thought that impressing his physical superiority upon her would quell any rebellion on her part.

It was not. By now she’d seen enough of him to guess he would never actually strike her. The only hurt he would cause would be with his words and deeds.

“Oh, but I do need to concern myself with her. Any woman my husband chooses to bring under my roof is my concern. If you cannot see that, then you really are?—”

“Enough!” He raised his hand. “I promise to introduce her to you in due time. I was going to wait but since you insist, it shall be as you wish. Matthew will be back with her before the end of the month, I expect, and then you two will meet.”

His impudence was not to be believed. That was all he had to say? That the two of them would meet in due time? What for? Surely he didn’t expect them to create a bond over gossip about Connor’s behavior in bed? Was he considering the three of them sharing a bed?

Esyllt gritted her teeth. If he didn’t see how insensitive he was being on his own, there was little chance she would manage to make him see how inappropriate his comments were. Better not to make a scene and leave with her dignity intact.

“Very well. I see that I have no choice over whom to welcome to my own castle. I hope you will at least let me choose whom to welcome into my bed,” she replied, taking a step back. If he forced her to share a bed with his mistress, make her watch them together, she would leave, and not worry about the consequences of her actions. “You will oblige me by staying in your own bedchamber tonight. If you do not, you will only have to watch me go to yours before you can tumble me into bed and use me to satisfy your perverse urges. Heed my words, what happened last night will never be allowed to happen again.”

Without waiting for an answer, Esyllt exited the room.

A fortnight later, as planned, Mathew was back with Jane. Connor welcomed them both in his solar, where he offered them a drink.

“How do you hope to keep her from your wife?” Matthew whispered, while Jane focused her attention on the litter of puppies tumbling about by the hearth.

“There is no need for me to do that,” Connor replied. “I fully intend to introduce the two of them today.”

The pursed lips made it clear his brother didn’t think it such a good idea. Nevertheless, he did not comment. “What is going on between you and your wife?” he asked instead. “I have seen the way you look at her, and how she looks at you at times. Yet... You are supposed to hate each other, are you not?”

“Not hate each other,” Connor corrected immediately. That had never been the intention, rather what he had feared might happen, given the fact that she was Welsh and he English. But they did not hate each other. For certain, there were misunderstandings and issues between them, they had not yet consummated their union and Esyllt had made some veiled threats about killing him, but fortunately, he could not say that they hated each other.

Small consolation, perhaps, but consolation nonetheless.

He slapped his brother on the shoulder. “Stay here a while, then join me with Jane in the great hall. I will go get Esyllt from the chapel.”

With one last nod in Matthew’s direction, Connor went down the spiral staircase. It was best to get this over with quickly. He and his wife had barely spoken in the past two weeks, and he had not slept in her bed at night. The people at Esgyrn Castle might not have seen anything amiss, but he guessed that Esyllt would have thought of nothing else than the impending arrival of his “whore” during that time.

It was time to disabuse her. He might even enjoy seeing her squirm when she realized how wrong she’d been to assume the worst of him.

Luck was on his side. She was making her way out of the chapel when he spotted her. He would have hated to drag her away from the comfort she found in the sacred place. As she was already in the bailey, however, he had no qualms about coming to find her.

“A word with you, if you please.”

When she didn’t move, he took her by the arm and led her to the great hall, in preparation for the encounter.

“What is it, my lord?” Esyllt asked, her tone frosty.

“Jane has arrived,” Connor told her, letting go of her elbow. He watched as she stiffened, then he hesitated, not knowing how to word his request. Perhaps he should have waited a bit before organizing the encounter, or gone about it in a different way. But it was too late now. Jane and Matthew were on their way to meet them. He had to speak now. “Please, be kind to her.”

Kind! Esyllt barely refrained a scoff of outrage. Her husband was asking her to be kind to the woman he had dared bring under her roof! He really had some gall.

She had gone to the chapel that morning, hoping to find the calm she needed to bring some order to her thoughts. The past weeks had been hard on her, and she could not quite understand why. Why was she so upset about the distance that had settled between her and Connor? Wasn’t it better for them to live separate lives? After all, that was what she had wanted. At the time of their wedding she would have liked nothing more than to be assured she wouldn’t have to endure her English husband’s presence for more than a few days at a time. Now the idea that they were to live as strangers bothered her, and she did not like it.

Her time of reflection had done little to appease the whirring in her mind and she had barely come out of the chapel than Connor had come to demand she be kind to his mistress. It was as if he was determined to make her hate him when she had resisted the urge to do so for months. And he might finally have succeeded.

“I will do what I—” she started, only to be interrupted by the opening of the door behind her.

“Father, there you are! I was looking at the puppies and then you were gone!”

A dark-haired little girl bounded into the room and threw herself into Connor’s arms. He caught her in mid-air and proceeded to cover her face with kisses. Esyllt watched in amazement as the child dissolved into a fit of giggles under the onslaught. She had never seen a man do such a thing before. None of the men she knew would have gathered their child into such an embrace, never mind in front of witnesses. The look in his eyes when he looked at his daughter was another surprise.

There was so much emotion there, as if the little girl was his whole world. All traces of doubt, anger and calculation had vanished, to be replaced by pure happiness and love. Her heart gave a jolt of delight. Connor Hunter was capable of loving as fiercely as she was. Up until then she had not been certain of it. She was now—and it made all the difference.

He placed the little girl back onto her feet and looked straight at her. There was an unusual earnestness in his green eyes, as if he was urging her to heed his earliest request to be kind.

“Jane, this my—” He cleared his throat. “This is Lady Sheridan.”

Esyllt could tell he was uncomfortable with calling her his wife. Of course, Jane’s mother had been his wife once. With a measure of shock, she realized that she had never wondered if he had been married before. Because it had never been mentioned, even when she had told him about her previous marriage, she had assumed he had not. Evidently, she’d been wrong.

As to him having a daughter, it was the last thing she had expected.

Yes, because he had never alluded to it, even when they had discussed Sian’s whereabouts. It would have been the perfect moment to mention he had a daughter too, if he’d thought it a good idea for her to know. But he had not.

Why not? Why had he kept the existence of this child a secret? Because she was illegitimate? Had he been married to Jane’s mother?

So many questions... Her head was fair swimming with them.

She looked at the little girl more closely. Jane looked remarkably like Connor, which was to say she was a stunningly beautiful child. She had his dark hair and green eyes but her features, so stern and masculine in Connor, were softened in the heart-shaped face tiled up to her.

“My lady.” Jane dropped a wobbly curtsey. “I am very glad to make your acquaintance. Uncle Matthew told me everything about you on the way here.”

“Did he really?” Esyllt did her best not to snort. What had Matthew been telling his niece? Beware of the Welsh, in all probability.

“He did. But he never said you were so beautiful!”

The little girl’s words were so guileless, she looked so awestruck and adorable that Esyllt could not help a laugh. She instantly knew that she and her stepdaughter would get on well.

“I would be surprised if he had,” she answered warmly. “I do not think your uncle Matthew has had time to notice my supposed beauty. He’s been very busy since his arrival at Castell Esgyrn.” Too busy being prejudiced.

“It doesn’t take long to see that you are beautiful!” Jane sounded almost affronted at the idea. “Father, you agree with me, don’t you? You think her ladyship is beautiful?”

“Yes, I do.” Connor gave a cough.

As angry as she had been only a moment ago, Esyllt was now enjoying herself immensely. She had dreaded meeting a woman who would act as mistress of the place by day and play the whore to her husband by night, and instead she was meeting a sweet child who was ready to love her.

“I’m very happy to welcome you here, Jane, and I know someone who will be even happier to have you here at Castell Esgyrn. I have a daughter who is seven years old, just like you must be,” she said, judging that both girls would be of an age.

Green eyes lit up with excitement. “You do? But Uncle Matthew and Father never told me about that, either!” she said, scowling in the two men’s direction. Esyllt wondered about that. Connor, at least, knew about Sian’s existence. Why had he kept it a secret from his own daughter? “Where is she? When can I meet her?”

“She is in her chamber at the moment, practicing her letters with her tutor.”

Jane’s face fell at that. “Oh. Maybe I should wait to go to her, then.”

Esyllt barely repressed a laugh. Her stepdaughter, like every child she knew, was not a lover of lessons. “Mayhap she can be excused for once. I think she would prefer to meet a new friend than write a series of perfect Ws.” Her daughter would be ecstatic at Jane’s arrival at Castell Esgyrn, that was certain.

“It is the most difficult letter for me too.” The little girl grimaced in commiseration.

“Matthew,” Connor called, turning to the corner where his brother was waiting with unusual discretion. “Take Jane to see Sian, then leave, taking the tutor with you. The two of them can get acquainted in private, if my wife agrees.”

Esyllt nodded. Perhaps it was for the best if their daughters found out about one another away from prying eyes. A stronger bond would form that way. If , of course, they found a common ground. That was not guaranteed. In any case, Esyllt congratulated herself for insisting her daughter learn English from the moment she’d been born. She now spoke it without any accent, unlike her, who had learned it much later in life. Teaching her child the invaders’ language had not been a popular decision amongst her friends, but Esyllt had always been of the opinion that one had better be armed to face people who could turn against you when the mood took them. Despising them or hoping they would ignore you did no good. The English were here to stay, only a fool would refuse to accept it.

“Thank you, Father, thank you, my lady.” Jane darted out the door, followed by her smiling uncle. Esyllt arched a brow. Her dour brother-in-law was also a child lover, it seemed. Who would have thought?

Connor turned to his wife, gratitude swelling in his chest. “Thank you for your welcome of Jane.”

He had not mentioned Sian to his daughter before today but his reasons were commendable, he thought. He had not wanted to raise her hopes before everything was finalized, and then he had wanted to see how they would get on. A girl her own age, living under the same roof, and more than just a friend, was what Jane needed to heal.

Having a stepsister could well be a lifesaver for her, which was why he was here.

Left to his own devices, Connor would never have married again but his daughter needed a female presence in her life. Even more pointedly, she needed another child to play with. He had finally surrendered to the king’s entreaty that he marry a Welsh woman purely based on that consideration. Jane’s needs came before his own wishes. He had decided to marry Esyllt when he had been told about her little girl. The other potential candidates had been young, childless virgins or older women with grown sons, neither of which had been what he needed.

“Please,” Esyllt protested. “What else did you want me to do? She is a lovely little girl. I would never treat her in any other way than kindly.” She made a grimace and he braced himself for the accusation he was sure was coming. “Why did you not say she was your daughter when I accused you of wanting to bring another women to Castell Esgyrn? How could you do such a cruel thing? You allowed me to assume she was your?—”

“Yes, I did,” he cut in, ruffling his hair with his hand, feeling less than proud of himself. “But perhaps you deserved it for the way you immediately assumed the worst of me. Tell me, do you really think I would be insensitive enough to introduce such a woman under your roof, mere weeks into our marriage?”

She appeared thoroughly chastened by the rebuke, which did little to ease his guilt. It had been cruel to let her torture herself for a week over the idea of him bringing his mistress to Esgyrn Castle, there was no denying it.

“Why did you not say anything? You could have upbraided me in the most stringent terms, and gotten your revenge that way,” she insisted. “Made me pay for thinking the worst of you.”

His mouth twisted. He could have. Most of the men he knew would have done just that, maybe even hit her for daring to speak to him in the way she had. But Connor had never condoned violence against women. “You seemed so certain I was a heartless lecher... I didn’t have the heart to shatter your preconceptions about me.”

She did not let this provocation pass, as he knew she would. Teasing his wife was quickly becoming a favorite pastime of his. “No. I can see why you preferred to make me feel like an ogre in front of the poor child.”

An ogre indeed. He barely repressed a scoff. There was nothing monstrous about the woman in front of him. “Jane thinks nothing of the sort. Or do you not recall she called you beautiful?”

Connor was making light of it, but he had been surprised by his daughter’s reaction to his new wife, and the easy affection Esyllt had shown Jane. Considering she had been convinced she was about to meet her husband’s mistress, she had recovered from her shock with remarkable alacrity.

“Your brother is not the only one reluctant to pass on relevant information it seems. You failed to mention you had a daughter or had been married, something anyone would agree is worthy of note. Is that because Jane is the product of...” He threw her such a withering look that she did not dare finish her question. But he would not bear to hear that she thought his little girl illegitimate even if, in truth, he understood why she might think it. He had not mentioned a first wife, so she would wonder who Jane’s mother had been.

“She is not a bastard,” he said through gritted teeth. “Her mother and I were married when she was conceived.”

“So you are a widower, then. When did you think to inform me of that fact? Didn’t you think I had the right to know?”

“What difference would it have made for you to know I was a widower or had a child?”

His wife did not seem to think that this was a reasonable question. “None, admittedly, but still, I would have liked to know!”

“Why? We both know our union was never based on anything other than very pragmatic considerations. Our pasts or personalities didn’t have any role to play in the decision. In your case, you weren’t even the one choosing me.”

Icy silence filled the room and Connor regretted his words. What was wrong with him? Why had he felt the need to remind her she had been used as a pawn in a man’s game? As a woman, she’d had even less choice than him.

“I thank you for the reminder,” Esyllt hissed. “But I hadn’t forgotten that fact.”

“Forgive me. That was not kind of me.”

“No. It wasn’t.”

Just when he thought she would storm out of the room, she asked. “How did your wife die?”

Her voice was calm, her anger under control once more. Nevertheless, he found it hard to answer that question, because, if he suspected Esyllt had not really killed her husband, as she claimed, he certainly felt responsible for Helen’s death. Matthew had tried to tell him many a time that it wasn’t the case, but he still wasn’t convinced he was blameless in the whole affair. He might never believe it and carry the guilt to his grave.

“A fever,” he said tersely. That was no lie, but it was not the whole truth either. Still, it was the best he could offer for now. Esyllt, bless her, seemed to sense it and did not press him.

“Jane seems a lovely girl.”

“She is.” Instantly the anxious man was replaced by the proud father. “Thank you again for welcoming her so warmly. She has been through a lot lately.”

Yes, she had, the poor mite.

“Please, it is not a problem. And if you happen to have other sweet little daughters hidden away, legitimate or not, I will welcome them with equal warmth, as long as they call me beautiful, like Jane did.” Esyllt gave him a shy smile as she spoke.

In that moment, Connor wondered if he had not fallen just a tiny bit in love with his wife.