Chapter 24
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
A fter the head-spinning events of the past hour, Elizabeth did not have the faintest notion of where to go. Mr Darcy led her through the meadow, past the beds of spring crocuses and lilies, to a bench next to a small fountain. Whatever beauty it had once held was gone, its stone chipped and its water clouded with rotting leaves, but a small redbird seemed happy to rest and drink there. Find pleasure in small things, Elizabeth thought to herself. She was glad for Mr Darcy's warm, dry hand, finding strength in its firm grip and reluctant to release it. "Thank you," she said, relieved that her voice did not tremble.
"It is Miss Lucas who deserves credit," he assured her. "She understood your cousin was up to something and came in search of me. I wish I could have arrived sooner."
"Oh dear Maria!" So often the girl had frustrated Elizabeth with her untimely comments and her mentions of private matters—speaking of her other proposals in front of Mr Collins—but it was that same youthful innocence she could now thank. "I know she saw Mr Collins beckon me to join him outside of the garden—which he had earlier forbidden me to leave—to see a flower. I should have been more sceptical of his purpose. Mr Brown was there, waiting."
"Your cousin should be tossed from the church, and my aunt tossed from her lofty perch. Her behaviour to you last evening was awful enough, but this?" His large hand rubbed his temples, briefly shielding his eyes from her. "I am ashamed to call her my relation."
"We all have family whom we wish were strangers. Oddly, ours are well acquainted." She laughed softly. "I have others who embarrass me, but for both of our sakes, I hope your aunt and my cousin are the worst we can boast of."
"Indeed."
He sat inches away, proper and dignified, and she missed the feel of his arms round her. A hoyden, a harlot. How Lady Catherine would have thundered had she seen me run into his arms. Elizabeth would not miss that woman, or her home and its ugly furnishings, neglected pianoforte, and overcooked dinners. Longbourn was far less grand but its chairs were snug, the pianoforte well-tuned, and its kitchen and table among the best in Meryton.
I may not be there long, if Papa has his way. Who will protect me there, until I can join Jane and Mr Bingley?
The sounds of chirping stirred her from her thoughts. Two blackbirds were splashing in the fountain. She turned to Mr Darcy, expecting him to be enjoying the sight as well, but instead he was studying her. Swallowing, she realised she owed him even more than she had said already.
"I wish you to know, sir, I appreciate how you have watched out for me. I have guarded myself since I left Longbourn, not understanding that something like today could occur." She turned her face towards the sun. "I was heedless of the true danger."
"You defended yourself from your cousin today and in Hertfordshire! You are a strong woman, of great courage and sense to refuse your cousin and stand up to your family and to him. And then to stay in his home, in order to visit your friend? You are all that is generous."
She shrugged, not wishing to be praised when her friend suffered. "Poor Charlotte. Only a woman so desperate to escape her family home and have her own family would marry a man like my cousin. I have tried to reconcile myself to the marriage, to truly understand it. Now I can feel only pity."
Mr Darcy's expression grew more troubled. "Never for yourself, I trust."
"No, I have been fortunate. Indeed, I have enough horrible marriage proposals to write a novel rivalling Radcliffe. Perhaps in the hours I can spare from playing with my future nieces and nephews?—"
"You cannot say you will never marry," he said sharply. "Your father's ultimatum is unfair to any daughter, but it is a grave disservice to one who has your liveliness and beauty."
"You know of the ultimatum?" Mortified, she searched her memory, trying to remember whether it had ever been mentioned in his presence. "From Maria? She learnt of it from Kitty, and Mr Collins clearly read her letters."
Frowning, he shook his head. "In London. Miss Bingley and her sister, when they told me of Mr Nugent's proposal, said your father was angry and had issued you an edict. It was cruel and thoughtless of him, and put you in danger of rogues and men prone to heedless flirtation."
He had known, all this time?
"Hence your desire to protect me from your cousin," she said slowly, as realisation set in, "lest he be stupid enough to like me."
"Of course he likes you—who could not? Richard is charming but often flippant, saying things he does not mean. I desired to protect you , to keep you from becoming entrapped because he made light of something. I heard him joke of marriage in your presence at least three times," he added, scowling.
And indeed he had. Elizabeth could not like that Mr Darcy had known of her predicament, but that he felt it incumbent on himself to guard her and ensure no man took advantage of her! This day had been too full of tumultuous feeling, however, and she sought to remain calm. "I did not appoint you as my protector, but I appreciate it nevertheless. Since that fateful day at Longbourn, you have been my friend, and I have felt safe in your company."
His eyes softened and his lips turned up in a small smile. "I am not safe from you."
"But you are safe from me...you said those very words to me in Hertfordshire." She stared at him, shocked, as he stood and began pacing in front of her.
"I have not been safe from you for many months, not since we first met and you impressed me with your beauty and your kind heart. I have never met another lady who so captured my attention, and who showed both sisterly affection and bracing wit."
"Ha, perhaps it is you who is flippant," she said, laughing nervously at his compliments. "My mother says I am vexatious and difficult. ‘Lizzy, you are a ridiculous creature. What man will marry you, a lady renowned for her dirty hems and unceasing refusals?'"
"I will." Mr Darcy stood before her, his dark eyes grave and imploring. "I will marry you."
The shock of such a declaration prompted another nervous laugh. "No. You cannot make light of my situation nor your own. Every proposal I have received has come about in similar circumstance, from a suitor too young or acting precipitously and without any consideration for mutual felicity."
"I wish the timing of my declaration were not so awkward—the day's events have unsettled us both—but I am sincere. I lack the words to express the ardency of my affection for you, Elizabeth—" Mr Darcy stopped, his brows furrowed. "I-I am no better than Nugent or Collins, importuning you about my feelings without regard to what yours may be, and worse, knowing that you must accept any proposal, no matter how abhorrent."
"No, no, you are anything but abhorrent. I beg you, please do not propose. It is the impulse of the moment which can entrap us both."
The beseeching tone Elizabeth heard in her voice seemed to affect him, and he stilled, hands on his hips, his eyes to the ground until slowly he lifted them to her.
"Of course. I will not— I cannot —propose, the mere act of which forces your acceptance. I will not take your right of control over your own happiness from you. But know I would, if I knew it was what you wished for."
"Neither of us believe that your offer is wise." Sighing, she laughed ruefully. "Had I been as generous and short-sighted as you, I would have had three husbands by now."
He remained grave. "Must you laugh at everything?"
"I am unkind. My penchant for happiness causes me to laugh at my fears and worries without care for how my choices may prevent happiness in others. Truly I am horrid."
"No, if you were truly horrid, you would leap at my offer and demand a proposal, regardless of your own feelings, and begin planning how to spend my fortune."
Although he still appeared grim, his teasing words lightened Elizabeth's guilt.
"Be assured, I am not seeking any man's fortune, nor am I a charity case. I have been on the receiving end of my family's wrath, put Jane in a difficult position with the Hursts, stirred up enmity between the Collinses, and enflamed your aunt's ire. And yet, I know my father. Much as I have worried over his threat, he has never followed through on warnings to my younger sisters on their behaviour and I feel certain he shall not on this one. All will be well. Once Jane is married, I shall live with her and Mr Bingley, and trust myself to their protection."
"That is all you wish for?" He stared at her in disbelief. In the distance, Elizabeth could hear Maria calling her name.
"Lizzy, come back to the house. Mr Collins is gone."
She stood on legs as unsteady as her thoughts. "You have been all that is kindness to me, and it is enough. I do not wish to grieve you but I cannot injure you nor myself any further."
"I would not see you injured. As for myself, only my heart is at risk." He bowed. "I shall escort you to Miss Lucas and ensure your safety at the parsonage before returning to Rosings to speak to my aunt."