Chapter 12

CHAPTER 12

She wasn't sure how or why, but she found herself in the gardens. Leona's heart pounded, hot tears threatening to make their appearance down her cheeks, and she cursed under her breath as she continued to walk. Each step away from the castle was a step further away from him .

Anger and frustration, mixed with a deepened sense of disappointment, filled her to the brim and spilled over. She cursed herself and Caelan, but mostly herself. How had she allowed things to reach this point? She had allowed the smallest shred of hope, and it tore her apart.

For a fleeting moment, she had wanted him to kiss her, to prove her doubts wrong. She had fought and surrendered, only to feel as if she had been stabbed between the shoulders. Was this to be her life as of now?

The wind howled in low tones around her, tugging at her flowing gown and tousling her hair. Before her, sitting in the distance, were the gravestones and, with them, the bitter reminder of her place at his side.

She walked on the uneven ground, losing her footing and crashing hard into the stone ground. Leona cursed as she felt the warmth spread over her now split knee. With a wince, she sat back and pulled up the fabric, revealing a jagged cut against the tight skin. Red pooled and then flowed down the side of her leg.

Wiping her face with the back of her hand, she sniffed and then turned her gaze up to the blue sky. White, fluffy clouds rolled by lazily as the wind took them out to sea. Her mind did not reflect the beautiful, peaceful atmosphere. Her thoughts were a whirlwind, swirling around in a frenzy.

The wedding was to take place in two days, and her window of escaping this mess was closing, slamming shut before her. But did she wish to leave? Or should she continue to suffer in his presence, pretending to be content in a marriage where she now knew she would not be the only one he was bound to?

"I cannae do this," she whispered.

But even as she uttered those words, a small part of her seemed to rebel against the idea of leaving this all behind. Her friends were here, and her time with them had not been nearly enough. She had grown to enjoy this place.

And then there was him.

If she changed her mind, if she called this off and ran away back home, then what? Would a war erupt? "Father would lose his head," she thought aloud. If her father did not march to battle, he would likely just send her back anyway. Just as he had so easily left her here without a second thought.

The sound of footsteps interrupted her thoughts. She thought it was Caelan, no doubt planning to come out with some excuse for it all. Leona closed her eyes, drawing in a deep breath.

She was half-tempted to ask if he was finished with the maid already, but she stopped herself. The image of him holding Flora the way he had just held her rushed into her mind, making her chest tighten. Leona shook the thought away, banishing it from her mind.

"I daenae wish to speak to ye," she warned.

The steps stopped. "I've never ken ye to cry so easily, lass."

Leona turned towards the familiar voice, her eyes wide. Standing there, dressed in a fine set of clothes that only seemed to bring out the brightness behind his eyes, was a man. He was handsome in his way, with soft blonde hair that had been cut short and fair skin. The man smiled down at her, his blue eyes gleaming.

Leona blinked. "Ewan Mackie?"

"Are ye well?"

Leona looked at Ewan's outstretched hand, still stunned to see him before her. Slowly, she took it, welcoming his help to find her feet. Her fingers grasped and tightened on her skirts momentarily before smoothing the fabric subtly. His sudden appearance caught her off guard. "Ah, yes," she smiled, blinking as she struggled to compose herself.

His voice was gentle. "Is everything all right, Leona? Ye look pale."

"Oh, aye. It's all well enough," she said slowly. "But Ewan, why are ye here? I daenae mean–"

He laughed, shaking his head. His tousled blonde hair moved gracefully against the wind like a golden halo. "Forgive me, lass. I dinnae expect to see ye out here, either. I was just tryin' to collect me wits before confronting both ye and him, ye ken?"

That made sense. She could only imagine how awkward this whole situation must feel to him. Leona let her gaze drift to the small flowers growing with the moss at her feet. "About all of this…"

Ewan had long since been a close friend of her father's, a familiar face that Leona herself had always welcomed. But to see him now, with so many conflicting emotions rushing through her, she almost couldn't bear to look at him. She had no feelings towards him, none like the ones ignited by Caelan, but she still felt as though she had let him down.

"Daenae worry yerself, lass. Ye have nothin' to concern yerself with. Ye're to be married in a few short days, Leona. It's a time for ye to enjoy yerself."

The wind whispered through the hills, taking his words with it. Leona forced her most convincing smile, one that read I am merry . Ewan had known her for a long time, but he did not know her well enough to see the hint of unease behind her eyes.

He tilted his head to the side, smiling. "Leona?"

"Aye?"

"Nay, 'tis nothin'," he laughed. "Ye just… ye look like embers after a rainstorm. Ye are usually more fiery than this, ye ken? I daenae mean to overstep or speak out of turn."

Her smile did not waver. "Plannin' for a weddin' is far more stressful than I could have imagined, that is all. Sleepless nights and worries, ye ken? But enough of that," she took a step, nodding towards the castle. "Shall we walk together? Introductions should be made."

Beside her, Ewan fell into step, quiet. As they walked towards the castle, Leona's mind found itself stalled. Her previous betrothal to Ewan had promised stability; it would have been a simple life. But with that, there was no attraction. It wasn't that he wasn't attractive; he was a handsome man, but there was nothing about him that made her heart flutter. He was nothing like Caelan.

Don't think about him right now. She swallowed back any thoughts or feelings about Caelan, or at least, she tried to. Somehow, he always managed to float back to the surface in her mind.

Ahead of them, walking forwards was Jamie. He shot a look to Ewan. Something crossed his face– something unreadable. Leona smiled, realizing how this must look. She was walking alone with a man, and not just any man, but the one she had been promised to. Jamie eyed her, almost scanning over her. "Is everythin' all right?"

Leona smiled, noting the concern in his voice. "Aye, I was just takin' a walk when I met with Ewan," she looked up at Ewan for a brief moment before turning back to Jamie. "This is Jamie Nimmo, the man-at-arms and Caelan's right-hand man."

Jamie nodded at Ewan. "A pleasure."

"Forgive me, Nimmo. I needed a moment to collect me thoughts before meeting with the laird," Ewan chuckled. "It's an… interestin' situation, and I really wasnae sure how to compose meself."

Jamie seemed very tense. "It's all well. If ye will follow me, I'll take ye to meet Laird MacNicols," he turned to face Leona once more, offering a small, sympathetic smile. He knew something was wrong, she could tell. "Maisie is lookin' for ye, lass. I daenae ken why, but ye should find her before she becomes a tyrant."

Leona stifled a laugh. "Aye, I will do that. Thank ye, Jamie."

She watched as the two men walked away, headed towards the great hall, no doubt. Leona was tempted to follow, to see the exchange between Caelan and Ewan, but she turned on her heel and headed for Maisie's chambers.

As she walked, her steps clicked on the stone floor. The castle was alive with preparations. Soon, they would be leaving for Gleann Cloiche. Her parents and Graham would be arriving there before them if they were not already set up with camp. Admittedly, she missed them all, even her father, who got her in this huge mess. All right, that wasn't fair. She had put herself in this mess in the first place. But…

With a sigh, she roamed the hallways and corridors. The realization that all of this, every stone, every plank of wood, it all would be hers within a matter of days. It still felt surreal, like a dream that wasn't quite hazy.

Leona came to a sudden stop, looking forward with her heart clenched in her chest. She did not want to see him, not right now, but she could recognize the framing of his broad shoulders, the dark waves tied back at the base of his neck.

Caelan and Maisie stood in the middle of the hallway. Maisie's eyes flashed toward her briefly before turning to her brother. Leona took a step back, shaking her head in hopes that her friend would get the message. Maisie subtly waved her hand in a dismissive way.

As she turned to go the way she had come, Leona blew her friend a quick kiss. Moving quietly, she headed for her own chambers instead. Smiling as she walked, she couldn't help but wonder… how awful would this all be if she did not have Maisie here? Where would I be without her?

At least with Maisie around, I daenae have to worry about being stuck alone with that – that man for the rest of me life…