Chapter 13

As she walked through the courtyard between dozens of men shoring up the castle and the clanging and hammering of people at work, she noticed that the stable doors were ajar.

As she entered, she saw Alex standing beside Jock, brushing him down and looking murderous. She was still in no mood to apologize for what she had said, but with her sisters' words fresh in her mind, she decided that diplomacy might be a better option than provocation.

She cleared her throat, and Alex either did not hear her or chose not to. His eyes remained trained on the horse's flank.

"Where are ye headin' to?" she asked, attempting to add some friendliness to her tone, but it mainly came out as surly.

"The forest," he grunted, still not looking at her as he lifted a saddle onto Jock's back.

She dropped her arms to her sides, unsure what to say next.

Why is it so awkward between us? Can we nae have a civil conversation?

She cleared her throat again, smoothing down her dress, knowing if they were to move forward, she must swallow her pride.

"I am sorry." Finally, his eyes met hers. "I shouldnae have said such things about yer men. Will ye allow me to join ye on yer ride, at least?"

Alex took almost a full minute to secure the saddle, buckling the ties and tightening the straps, making her wait for an age before he finally gave her a clipped nod. She let out a relieved breath.

She approached him, smoothing a hand down Jock's nose as the horse whinnied a soft greeting. Alex's brow was still deeply furrowed, and he seemed distracted as she moved toward him.

He looked down at her, contemplating her steadily as she raised one hand to the saddle. She wondered if he would lift her onto the beast, but he stepped back, giving her space. She pulled herself into the saddle smoothly, looking down at him as he took the reins and swung up behind her, his solid torso brushing against her back as he settled into the saddle.

Although they were sitting close together, it seemed to Isobel that Alex was deliberately keeping some space between them. He did not move to hold her waist, and as they set off, she was pushed backward into his body, feeling the layers of her skirt settle between his legs as she tried to keep her balance.

Alex grunted under his breath and finally, with a put-upon sigh, placed his hand around her waist as they made their way out of the castle.

As they walked through the gates and out into the wide-open country, Isobel thought anxiously of a topic that would spark a conversation between them. She did not know how to get Alex to talk, and the silence was becoming oppressive.

"Where are we headed?" she asked, eventually.

The trees ahead of them were thick and wide, having grown as saplings long before she was born. The land between Clan Rothach and Clan Clyde was peppered with woods and glades that stretched for miles in either direction.

Alex's fingers moved slightly lower on her waist, and she held her breath.

"The forest," he repeated, and Isobel gave up speaking altogether. He clearly was in no mood to entertain her, and she felt her stubbornness take root.

They ambled onward, Jock pulling up plants every now and again to munch on as they made their way further into the forest. The woods were not as dense as those in Clan Clyde, and Isobel looked up at the sunlight streaming through the canopy.

Moss and ferns were everywhere, creeping over the fallen trunks of trees that had settled on the forest floor long ago. The woods were quiet and peaceful, and she found, after a little time, that she had relaxed further against Alex's wide chest, his arm gently steadying her. She could feel him breathe beneath her, a steady rhythm of quiet ease.

After a short, silent journey, they wandered into the edge of a clearing in the woods, and Alex dismounted. He looked up at Isobel quizzically and raised his arms for her to dismount. Despite not needing his help, she was touched by the gesture and placed her hands on his shoulders as he lifted her down from the saddle.

"Where are we?" she asked.

But he simply placed a finger on his lips in reply, motioning for her to be quiet.

He turned to Jock, tying the horse's reins to the tree and pulling his bow and arrow from a pack attached to the saddle, which Isobel had not noticed he was carrying.

She looked behind her, seeing that on the other side of the clearing before her, there were some deer grazing. Alex's intention was clear.

Isobel watched in horror as he walked forward, moving softly so as not to make a sound. The deer were calm and relaxed, pulling up the grass at the edge of the clearing, their wide baleful eyes ever watchful, but clearly not alert.

Alex raised his bow in a practiced stance and aimed his arrow at a baby deer that was closest to the edge of the clearing and separate from its mother.

Isobel looked between him and the animal, unable to bear the thought of him killing it. As he narrowed his eyes and pulled the bow back further still, Isobel rushed forward, pushing past him and jolting him sideways.

"No!" she exclaimed as the arrow flew high into the air and landed uselessly into a tree.

As the rest of the herd started at the noise and scampered away into the forest, the fawn sank low to the ground, exposed as it was, still too small to be able to escape as fast as the others.

It was watching her warily, pure fear in its eyes. Isobel approached extremely slowly, her hand outstretched, making soft clicking sounds as it watched her, wide-eyed, from its hiding place.

Gently, she reached out her hand so the fawn would sniff it. It did so carefully, as though assessing if she were a threat. Very gently, she sat down beside it, keeping her distance as the fawn seemed to recognize that she meant it no harm.

Isobel began to make cooing sounds, stroking one finger over the deer's nose and clicking her tongue. After a moment, the deer stood up on unsteady legs, approaching her tentatively and brushing against her hand more boldly.

"There, there," she coaxed. "Dinnae worry, ye cute, little baby. Nothing is going to happen to ye now."

She stroked its soft fur as she glanced up at Alex, who was looking at her in bewilderment.

"How could ye want to hurt somethin' so wee?" she asked reprovingly, unable to comprehend that someone could look at a baby animal and wish to take its life.

Alex stepped forward, but upon seeing him, the fawn jumped up. Isobel wrapped her arms around it, stroking its belly as it trembled with fear.

Alex stopped, crouching down, looking at Isobel with renewed interest.

* * *

Alex watched Isobel, the fawn now resting quietly in her lap. She certainly had a way with the beasts.

As soon as they had entered the forest, the smell of moss and trees had taken him back to that day with his father. The damp earth, the low light, and all the horrors that he had been forced to witness.

He had felt instantly on edge and unhappy, unable to get the visions of that tiny rabbit, its legs kicking their last, out of his mind.

He is gone. Ye are free of him.

As he watched Isobel's small hands scratch behind the fawn's ears, he wondered what she would have done if she had been with him all those years ago. No doubt she would have protected the creature.

As he continued to observe the fawn, it folded its legs beneath itself, settling fully into the folds of her dress, closing its little eyes in contentment.

"Ye are the bonniest wee thing in all the Highlands," Isobel cooed, as though she were speaking to a baby. "Aye, ye are, ye are." She tapped the fawn very gently on the nose. "Nay one is goin' to hurt ye while I'm here, I swear it, little one."

She pursed her lips, making little kisses at the creatures as her fingers smoothed the downy fur on its brow.

It was as though Alex felt something release within his chest at that moment. The knotted, blackened roots around his heart slowly loosened, and he felt as though he could breathe for the first time in years.

He rested one knee on the damp soil and found himself smiling.

"Who'd have thought it?" he said softly.

Isobel looked up at him, her eyes narrowing at his amused expression.

"If ye had told me Isobel Knox would have a baby voice reserved for animals, I'd never have believed ye."

She cocked her head defiantly. "Ye tell a soul, and I'll deny it. Then I'll kill ye," she warned, but there was a teasing edge to her voice.

"Of course," he replied as he stood back up to his full height.

The fawn, upon seeing him, finally kicked free of Isobel's arms and cantered away after its mother into the woods.

"Ye should wait by the horses," he said. "I came here to hunt. I wouldnae want ye to see anythin' ye shouldnae."

She rose, brushing down her skirts, finally looking up at him and meeting his eyes with an earnest expression.

"I heard ye last night," she admitted quietly, "in yer rooms. Ye were havin' a nightmare."

He felt his heart hammer in his chest as he wondered what she might have heard. The look on her face showed him more than words ever could.

"Och, aye?" he asked, trying to keep his voice as level as possible.

"Is it true?" Her voice was loud in the quiet of the woods.

He frowned. "Ask me what ye really want to ask, lass."

"Did ye kill yer faither to take his place as Laird?" she asked, her voice quavering slightly.

Alex sighed. It felt as though he would never be free of his father's shadow. Looking down at the bow and arrow in his hand, he frowned, no longer in the mood for a hunt of any kind. He walked over to Jock and secured his bow to the saddle, hooking his arrows there, too.

He turned back to her. She was silhouetted against the sunlight streaming through the branches overhead, wildflowers brushing against the hem of her skirts, a soft breeze lifting her hair from her shoulders. She looked like some nymph that had emerged from the forest.

He admired her for a moment, before replying, knowing that what he was about to say could alter how she viewed him forever.

"Aye and nay." He watched her shoulders stiffen. "I did kill me faither. But I didnae want the lairdship. I didnae ken me braither was already dead."

The truth of it had been a shock at the time. He had never planned on taking on his father's duties. He had come back to prove that the weakling son his father had despised was now stronger than any man of his clan.

The knowledge that the lairdship was in his hands had not been a pleasant thing to discover. The truth of his brother's death was even harder to bear. He had traveled to Rothach expecting to find his kin, and yet he had ended up just as alone as on the damned ship.

"Oh, I see," Isobel murmured, looking at him with those pale blue orbs, her expression wary and filled with uncertainty.

"Ye dinnae believe me?" he asked, feeling familiar rage rise within him.

He didn't know why this lass seemed to trigger his temper, but she did it effortlessly time and again.

"Why would I believe ye? I only have yer word. What honor is there in a pirate's word?"

"More honor than most," he snapped. "There's plenty of lairds who'd lie to gain what they need, believe me. Many men who were in me position would have abandoned their lands and their people altogether—the lot of them be damned."

"Turn yer back on land and power? Not many men would choose such a future."

"And ye believe that's all I wanted?"

"Is it nae? Ye wouldnae have been at the tournament if ye hadnae known ye would win. Ye had Clan Clyde and Clan Rothach in the palm of yer hands with nay effort at all."

He advanced on her. Despite his anger, he could still admire the fact that she stood her ground. She didn't back up even a step as he loomed above her.

"Is that truly what ye believe?"

"It is," she replied, her hands coming up to her hips as she looked up at him defiantly. "Since ye arrived, ye havenae done anythin' that hasnae served ye."

"And what about ye? That tournament served yer whims well enough until ye were beaten by a vagrant and a rogue," he shot back, throwing her words back at her.

"Ye blame a woman for wantin' to live freely for a few more years without being forced into marriage? Ye have nay notion of what it is to have yer life dictated to ye by a crowd of men."

They were so close to one another now that Alex was aching to grip that narrow waist and push her up against the nearest tree trunk again. The kiss they had shared on the cliffside was at the forefront of his mind as he breathed heavily, trying to rein in his desires.

She was in no better state, her eyes continually flicking to his mouth, her breasts rising and falling heavily as she glared at him.

Finally, he backed off, clenching his fists at his sides, suppressing his desires.

"Believe me or nae, it is the truth. Ye can judge me all ye like for decisions I had to make. I cannae stop ye."

He walked stiffly across the clearing, and Isobel watched him. In one movement, he swung up onto the low branches of the tree, where his arrow had hit the trunk, and yanked it free, making the timber splinter.

Then he jumped back down to the ground and walked past her without so much as a glance in her direction.

"Is that yer final word on the matter?" she asked hotly, her hands still on her hips, her expression determined.

"We should get back," he growled, storming through the undergrowth back to the horse.

He could not hear her following behind him, and as he turned, she was still standing like a fairy princess, her hands on her hips, looking like a warrior angel in the midst of her kingdom.

"Ye are a coward, Alex Bain. Who would have thought that?"