17. Danai

Chapter seventeen

Danai

" T here's nowhere in the world more beautiful than the Spires when the leaves turn," Irina said as we walked up the path that wound around the base of the mountain closest to Fontaine. Snow still capped the peaks, but life was blooming about the mountains' feet. Recently barren trees sprouted buds of green, laying a carpet of verdant shades. Crystal brooks, overflowing thanks to the thawing of spring, raced by.

But it was the wildlife that captured Irina's gaze.

"Shh. Stay still," she whispered.

" Why are we standing still?" My voice brushed her mind.

She glared back with narrowed eyes, then pointed through the woods. "Because there's a family of deer, and I'd rather not scare them away."

I grinned. In so many ways, Irina was a woman grown, bearing the weight of duty that would crush most twice her age. And yet, in moments like those, the girl of seventeen smiled back at me. Her happiness filled me with a joy I scarcely understood. It was a drug, and I craved it more each day.

From the first moment, my heart longed to hold her, to press my palm to her cheek, to feel her lips against my own. There was a glow in her that had nothing to do with magic. To me, she was magic.

I'd yet to summon the courage to tell her how I felt, though I doubted she could miss it. She caught me staring often enough. The coquettish smile she gave was enough to spike the heat already flowing through my veins.

Perhaps today, I thought, then grinned inwardly as I stared at the deer. But a little help from a friend couldn't hurt.

She reached out to grab my arm and pull me back into our hiding place, but I strode forward, heedless of the noise of my passing. The heads of all three deer, two adults and one fawn, snapped up. I let a trickle of magic flow toward them, and their tension eased. Only when I stood before the fawn, stroking her chin, did I glance back to find Irina's astonished face.

"Come. The little one is curious about you." I winked and flashed her my best smile.

"Is he talking to you?" she asked, wonder filling her voice as she stepped from behind the foliage. " How are you doing this? Why have they not run?"

That was the first time her words touched my mind.

I had to suppress a shiver.

She walked slowly, as though afraid she might frighten the deer away, until she stood by my side. The fawn looked up and met her gaze, then licked her outstretched hand.

Her laughter sang through the trees.

It filled my heart.

"What are you smiling at, Mage ?" she asked, bumping her shoulder against mine.

A rush of pink flowed up my neck and into my cheeks. I looked down and focused on the fawn. "In all these months, I don't think I've seen you wear anything other than your smock. Riding leathers look good on you."

Her eyes dropped to her trousers and blouse, then rose to meet mine again. "You were right. It is good to get out of that building and feel something other than a smock against my skin."

I chuckled. "The whole glowy-hands thing sets you apart more than your clothes—and not just as a Healer. I have heard talk in the city about some wanting you to take part in the government as advisor to the King."

She stopped stroking the deer. "What? Are you joking?"

I shook my head. "Irina, the people adore you. More than that, they respect you. Many of them see more in you than just a Healer."

She stepped away from the deer. I released my flow of magic, and we wandered off into the woods.

I stepped close to Irina. "Did I say something wrong?"

She looked up. Her eyes held such depth. "That's flattering, but all I've ever wanted was to be just a Healer. It's the whole reason the Mages . . ."

She seemed to wrestle with what to say next as she walked to a boulder and sat. I remained standing, waiting.

Finally, Irina said, "Why do they care what I do? From what you've said, they don't even like each other, much less want to work together. Why can't they just leave me alone to do my work?"

"Because they're afraid of you."

"Afraid of me?" She scoffed.

"Yes. Afraid and jealous. Or covetous might be a better word for it."

"That's ridiculous."

"Maybe. Maybe not." I closed the gap between us and sat beside her. "They were afraid of your power at first. They wanted it for themselves, and saw how you resisted them. They couldn't control you as they wished. Now, they're more afraid of what you represent and how the people respond to you. They see you as a threat to the way they've lived for hundreds, and in a few cases, thousands, of years."

I watched as she puzzled through what I'd said. She gripped her fingers, then released them.

"It doesn't make any sense. I don't even know how to use my magic other than to Heal—and those few things you've taught me. What difference does it make if I'm liked by the people? Would they rather I'm feared or hated like they are?" When I flinched, she gripped my arm. "Oh, Danai, I didn't mean you. I'm sorry. You have been nothing but kind."

"I know they hate us. You don't have to protect me from the truth."

"Danai—"

"Mages have not always been good to the common folk. There were times when they used power to subjugate and control. They lashed out because they could. It has been centuries since those events occurred; still, the people remember. Tales of those deeds frighten children to bed. They're sung in taverns and on street corners. The people hate what they fear, and Mages instilled terror long ago."

Irina's grasp on my arm tightened. "It doesn't help that you hide yourselves away. If they just knew you as I do—"

"Irina, please. Just hear me out. This is important. The Mages who killed the Queen will return—maybe not today or tomorrow, but they will come back. When they do, they will come for everything you hold dear. If they can't get you to join them, they will try to destroy you to eliminate the threat. You need your magic to protect yourself. The only thing that can repel power is greater power."

She released my arm and stood, stepping across the clearing before turning back. "What am I supposed to do, Danai? You and Kels? are the only other Mages who cared enough to show up and help. As much as I appreciate everything you've done, the three of us wouldn't be enough to match them, even if I knew how to use my magic."

"You could—"

"Could what?" Her voice rose as she spoke. "Were you going to say you'd train me to fight ? To use my magic to what? Destroy rather than Heal? Isn't that what they want, Danai? Are you one of them now?"

My eyes lowered before returning to hers; I noticed pain creasing their edges. "I know you don't mean that."

"How do you know what I mean?" she shouted, her voice now loud enough to echo through the mountains. "And how do I know they didn't send you here just to have this conversation? You've been so patient, waiting until the time was right, waiting until I trusted you enough—"

I stood and walked to the edge of the path, looking out over the valley below.

"See! Now you're turning your back on me."

"Irina, please stop." When I turned to face her, a tear had fallen down one cheek. "All I ever wanted was to help you, to . . . to be with you. I don't want to return to the other Mages, and I don't want you to—but you need to be able to defend yourself. They're not going to leave you alone."

As quickly as her anger flared, it died. She looked into my eyes, and I felt her magic swell with empathy.

"Danai—"

"You don't have to say anything. I know your anger is not aimed at me." I looked up the path where we had been heading before we stopped. "We still have time to make it to the top."

She stared a moment, then gave me a weak smile and nodded. As we turned and started up the trail, my shoulder brushed hers, and I gripped her hand. She squeezed, then let go and stuffed her hand into her pocket.

Irina did not see my shoulders fall as we hiked.