5. Abigail

5

Abigail

B y the end of that week, hundreds of locals and visitors had put their artistic talents to the test. Nobody got lost in a snow drift, nobody got injured falling out of a tree, and the town was even more glittering and colorful than it usually was at Christmas.

It was… really nice.

And Abigail still hadn’t admitted to Jasper that she might be the reason his friends had taken his request to help with Christmas and turned it into taking over Christmas.

Because every time they almost had a moment to themselves, Jasper turned it into a new Christmas plan.

Partway through the tree decorating week, Jasper gathered all their friends together one evening after work and announced a Christmas baking contest.

A complicated baking contest.

There were rules. There were sub-rules. There was double-blind taste testing and double-blind judging and double-blind… ingredients?

Abigail held her breath and did some quick mental arithmetic. Looking around the room, it was clear that nobody else was clear on what the rules were, either. Even if Jasper only ran the contest instead of taking part in it as well—and with all the double-blind everything, she got the strong impression that he definitely wanted to compete, as fairly as possible—it would be a huge time investment.

Christmas was a week away.

She bit her lip and darted a look at her friends. Meaghan caught her eye and nodded. Operation Help Jasper Take A Break / Help Abigail Get Some was in imminent danger.

Before either of them could say anything, though, Olly interrupted.

“I have a better idea,” she said. “ I’ll do all the baking, and you all have to eat it and guess what the secret ingredient is.”

Abigail was about to object—yes, her friends had offered to help her, but that didn’t mean giving up all of their own free time as well—but when she saw how Olly was practically glowing with excitement, she stopped.

Her stomach twisted.

Had she gotten this all wrong?

Her friends were doing more than just help her. They were having fun. They enjoyed all the Christmas craziness.

So, what was wrong with her, that she couldn’t throw herself into the festivities with them?

She stole a glance at Jasper. He was his usual upbeat self—but there was something distant in his gaze. As though he was already thinking of a replacement for his baking competition idea.

And the bond in her chest pinched unhappily.

As Christmas crept closer, Abigail’s worries grew. The scheme wasn’t helping. Jasper wasn’t relaxing as more things were taken (well, stolen and sneaked) off his plate. Instead, he was finding more things to do!

Worst of all, he was his usual cheerful, festive self, bouncing back from every roadblock and avoiding her schemes faster than she could create them—and all the while, the mate bond pinched and ached with a strong sense of something wrong.

Only one thing was for sure.

By the time they got to bed each night, they were so Christmassed-out there was no time or energy for anything else.

She had not been getting any.

She had been getting less than usual.

Was the universe punishing her for trying to take Christmas away from Jasper?

“Am I a bad person?” she asked the black kitten plushie she was tucking into the toy box. She’d rescued the plushie from a sodden, falling-down Halloween display the day she met Jasper.

She had been so unhappy then, she’d seen herself in the bedraggled, unwanted toy with one of its eyes missing.

The kitten was in much better shape now. It had been laundered, mended, received state-of-the-art new-eye-surgery, and had even survived being Ruby’s favorite plaything since she was old enough to start grabbing at what she wanted.

Abigail was so much happier now, too, but what if underneath it all, she was still that messed-up, gross, slightly stinky cat toy that nobody wanted?

“Mommy!” Ruby bounded into the room. “I’m ready for the party! Ooh, kitty-cat is here! I wanna bring him to the party too!”

Tonight, they were all heading to dinner at one of the local restaurants that was run by a bear shifter family. Jasper had booked out the whole restaurant so that the kids could come out too, and they wouldn’t have to stress about a human seeing a tiny dragon or fiery hellpuppy if the kids got too excited and lost control of their shifting.

“Sure he can come, sweetheart.”

“He can wear my crown!”

“Who can wear your crown?” Jasper walked in, shrugging on a sweater embroidered with disco-dancing reindeer.

“Kitty-cat!” Ruby hugged the little toy, and Abigail’s heart melted.

Jasper put his arm around her. “You okay?” he murmured.

“Why wouldn’t I be?”

“Because I just walked in here to find you clutching that little soft toy and looking like you were about to cry?” He searched her face.

She swatted at him. “I wasn’t looking like I was about to cry!”

“I could have taken a photo and put it on a fundraiser. We would have made millions.” He pulled her close and kissed her. “Really, are you feeling all right? I know Christmas isn’t the easiest time for you, that’s why I—”

“Mommy Daddy look!” Ruby rushed to the window. “Auntie Opal and Uncle Hank are here already! It’s time to go!”

Abigail tossed the toy to Ruby, who caught it with a squeal, and leaned into him. He was warm and sturdy, the sweater was surprisingly soft despite all the sequins, and…

She took a deep breath.

“It’s nothing,” she said. “Just getting stuck in my own head.” Worrying that really you’re fine, everything’s fine, and I’m the one who’s going to ruin Christmas because… I’m a grinch who doesn’t want anyone to be happy?

She’d gotten it all the wrong way around. Everyone loved Christmas. Jasper loved Christmas. Why would he keep trying to do more and better Christmas-y things if it was making him unhappy?

Didn’t it make more sense for the unhappiness she felt in the mate bond to be… her?

Another deep breath. This one tasted like guilt.

There were only a few days left until Christmas. It was time to stop ruining everyone’s day.

“I’m fine,” she said, determined to make it true.

No more scheming. No more plans.

Jasper deserved a happy Christmas. He deserved better than her ruining it.