5. Helayna

5

HELAYNA

T hey considered themselves horrible nightmare creatures, but it couldn't be further from the truth. I'd never met more caring and considerate men. At least, I didn't think I had. I couldn't remember my life before the snake. But their extreme gratitude and gentleness despite their size and power told me all I needed to know.

They'd saved me at great risk not just to themselves but the entire world. That they were astonished that I didn't run screaming into the night at the mere fact of their existence made me want to pull them all close and hug them.

So that was exactly what I did.

I hooked my arm around D?rr's thick neck and held out my hand to Svar. He wrapped thick fingers around my hand as carefully as if I were made of delicate glass. I tugged him closer so that the three of them knelt shoulder to shoulder.

They were so damned big. Even on their knees, their heads topped mine.

"To feed her, you need to fully transform." D?rr's voice rumbled like an earthquake. "She can't penetrate gargoyle hide."

I listened to the fragile new bond in my head, sorting through his emotions and thoughts as unobtrusively as possible. As the eldest, he'd taken care of them for as long as he could remember. He'd been alone before that. Such a lonely, endless existence. They'd rather sleep for thousands of years than be awake in this place.

After only a few minutes outside the snake, I couldn't agree more. I still couldn't see anything more than vague shadows of black and slightly darker black. The air was chill and damp. Even in this place of supposed safety, there wasn't any shelter, at least none that I could see. The air felt just as cold. There wasn't anything soft to rest on. No light. No fire.

"What did I taste like?" D?rr asked hesitantly. "Was it terrible?"

I thought a moment and then smiled. "Take the delicate sweetness from every night-blooming flower and compress it into warm, thick honey. That is what you tasted like."

I didn't have to see his face in the darkness to know that he stared at me, mouth hanging open with surprise. His bond splintered with icy shock. He didn't even know what flowers or honey were. Not really. But he'd fully expected me to tell him he'd tasted awful.

He didn't believe me. I leaned harder against him, smearing the slickness of his alfar essence on me. "There's nothing like the sweet, delicate scent of flowers that bloom in the light of the moon. I've tasted honey before, and I'm telling you that's what you tasted like. You healed the damage that passing through the snake caused me and returned my strength. Actually…"

I sank through my body, assessing my strength. Despite the cold, I felt good. Strong. I could feel a spark in my blood that I didn't think had been there before.

It was so strange to remember what I was… but not who . I knew I was an Aima vampire queen. I felt the rightness of that in my blood. I couldn't deny my fangs, or the enjoyment I'd experienced drinking from D?rr.

I knew enough to understand that this was only the beginning. For whatever reason, I'd never had Blood of my own before. I'd never felt this kind of power rising inside me. Maybe it was this place. If I was truly descended from the goddess Hel…

And this was Her realm…

I was here for a reason, and it had nothing to do with Loki's grand plan of starting Ragnar?k.

"They have transformed, my queen," D?rr whispered.

I loved that he didn't make any assumptions or demands of me, yet he also understood my limitations in this place. I couldn't see my hand in front of my face. I certainly couldn't tell that the other two had transformed from their stone to alfar forms. Though now that he'd told me, I could feel the same slick oil feel on my palm from Svar.

I released D?rr and blindly reached out to where I thought Myrk was in the middle. He snagged my hand, his fingers shorter and rougher than D?rr's. I stepped closer until I felt the slight warmth rising from Myrk's chest. I gently ran my fingers over his face, trying to picture him in my mind.

D?rr's features were heavier and more defined. Myrk's face was more slender with a less pronounced brow. He wasn't as wide or tall, either, though I estimated that he'd stand at least seven feet tall.

Goddess. I'd never imagined such Blood would answer my call.

"Do you have a preference for where I should bite you?"

He snorted. At least I assumed the sound of earth splitting apart was a snort of derision. "Anywhere, my queen."

I ran my hand down the strong column of his neck. Leaning closer, I tried to use my senses to feel a vein I should aim for, but as they'd said, they didn't carry blood. I didn't sense a pulse beneath the surface. When I sank my fangs into his throat, his essence filled my mouth as if I'd torn open his aorta.

Spices burst on my tongue. Pepper and roasted chilies, laced with something else that was strong and rich. Another swallow, and I identified black coffee made so strong that it would cling to the spoon.

His essence swept through me, and this time, I felt something shift inside me. As if a floodgate opened and a switch flipped on.

I didn't have any injuries to heal, no bones to mend, so it was easier to sense the flaring of my magic.

Heat flared down my arms and spine, driving away the chill, damp air of this place. I took several more swallows, but then licked my punctures closed. I needed to be able to hold their friend, and I didn't know what my capacity was. As I lifted my head, I opened my eyes and gasped.

I could see. Rather than endless black and vague shapes, I could make out shades of black, gray, and deep purple. I could see the planes of Myrk's face. His skin was completely black and his eyes glittered like chips of obsidian laced with purple amethysts. I looked over at D?rr. He was completely black too, but his eyes sparked with a deep midnight blue.

"I can see you."

He flinched. Mouth tight, eyes narrowed, he waited without answering.

He waited for me to turn away. Flee. Scream. Faint. All of the above.

Gently, I reached up and cupped his cheek. "I will never fear you."

His eyes widened, flaring closer to sapphire than midnight blue. "My queen." He swallowed hard, dropping his head, his shoulders sagging. "As much as I love your words, it cannot be. You deserve Blood that you can love. That will shelter you with their bodies and hearts."

"You cannot?"

His head snapped up. "I can indeed, my queen. I would…" His shoulders shook, his jaws grinding as if he chewed on massive boulders, slowly breaking them down into gravel. "But you…"

"You think I cannot love you?" Deliberately, I waited for an answer, letting the silence weigh heavily between us for several long moments.

I started to shake my hair back over my shoulders, but felt instead the heavy flop of the braid down my back. Rage flickered through me. My hair. The bastard had touched my hair.

I didn't even care that said bastard was a god. Nobody touched my hair. Nobody.

Jerking the braid around in front of me, I found the end and started working my hair free. It was coated in snake gunk and wet with goddess only knew what, which fueled my fury. "You don't know me yet, so allow me to give you a word of advice. It's never wise to tell any queen what she cannot do. Let alone me ."

D?RR

I didn't need to carry her blood inside me to know that she was angry. No, furious. Her fingers flew over the braid, quickly unraveling her hair while she muttered to herself.

"My hair. That bastard. Nobody touches my hair. Why the fuck would he braid it? I hate it. I hate him ."

I didn't know why it infuriated her so much. Her hands started to shake and her eyes glistened with tears.

Goddess above. She hadn't cried inside the belly of J?rmungandr. She hadn't cried as we'd pulled her through his guts. Or as her body tried to heal the damage done by his coils.

I didn't know what to do. I wanted to help her. Hold her. But she'd clearly said that no one should touch her hair.

Her head jerked up and she whirled around, presenting me with her back. "Would you please help me? I want this fucking braid out now ."

Reverently, I picked up the heavy braid hanging down her back. My fingers had never felt so huge and clumsy, moving with as much dexterity as a cold-stone gargoyle. But I worked her hair loose, carefully keeping the strands untangled until the entire mass hung free and unbraided. Even wet and sticky from being inside the snake, it was beautiful. I wanted to bury my face in her hair and breathe her in. Clutch her to my chest and swear that never again would anyone touch one precious hair on her head unless she willed it.

"Do it." She looked back over her shoulder at me, her eyes flashing in the darkness like swords. "If you're to be my Blood, I need to hear those words. I need to know I'm safe."

My entire body trembled. I might be a giant compared to her, but she broke me apart with her words.

I ducked down low so I could press my face to her back, bracing my fists on the ground so I wouldn't touch her accidentally. Her hair was heavy, wet silk and stank of snake, but I'd never felt anything so beautiful in my very long life. "As long as I live, no one shall touch another precious hair on your head, my queen. So I swear it on Yggdrasil."

As she turned toward me, I started to rise back from her, but she touched me again, her hand on my chest. And I couldn't find it in me to move away if she was willing to touch me.

"I have called the Blood that I need, and I intend to love you."

I opened my mouth to insist that was impossible.

And froze when she pressed her mouth to mine.

I had never seen lightning but I imagined a massive bolt from Thunderer would carry such power. All that energy crashed into me, stunning me. Her lips tasted like sunlight and warmth. Love and hope. A shining light of all the living things in this world. Everything I had never seen or known.

She breathed heat into me. The darkness inside me swelled, eager to burst free and obliterate her. How could I possibly hold her, let alone love her, without destroying the very thing I treasured?

She made a low, soft sound and lifted her lips. "As much as I would like to indulge in you again, I should take Svar first. I don't feel complete yet."

I fought to keep my doubts concealed as she turned her attention to Svar. She could read my thoughts and emotions, so she must already know the waiting threat. Yet it didn't seem to alarm her.

Waiting on his knees, Svar turned his head aside, offering his throat. She moved to him easily and sank her fangs into him without hesitation. The sight rocked me to my core. The slight, slender woman against the hulking creature of nightmare. The bliss on his face, as if he had finally seen the sun and was glad to die.

The same look had been on my face. I was sure of it. I could die happy now. I had touched and seen heaven in my queen. I couldn't imagine a paradise any better or greater than her.

She lifted her mouth, her head falling back. Black essence dribbled down her chin. Her hair shimmered. With…

Light.

I closed my eyes, convinced I had imagined the sparkling brightness around her. These eyes had never seen light or color. So how would I even know…?

I cracked my eyes open and her hair still gleamed, rippling and flowing down her back like water. But we had not had water in Hel for so long even I barely remembered what water looked like.

She turned her head and her eyes knocked me back on my heels. I had never seen the sky, but I'd dreamed it would look like her eyes. Or maybe the clouds. Snow. I couldn't know. But one thing was certain.

I saw color. For the first time in my very long existence.

Color. In Hel. A place of endless night.

"I need to see the tree."

My mouth didn't seem connected to my brain any longer. It took me several tries to get the words out as I gestured above us. "This is the tree. Yggdrasil stretches over us."

She looked up at the network rising like arches and valleys overhead. "These are roots? That's how deep we are?"

"This realm is at the very bottom of the world tree."

Nodding absently, she started to walk away, her stride purposeful. We scrambled to our feet and followed, though I didn't know what she sought. She winced and lifted her bare foot.

Fire glowed on her sole. At least that is what it looked like to me from dreams.

"Can you carry me to the heart of the tree? I need to get to its trunk."

Scooping her up gingerly, I swallowed hard. My queen. In my arms. With sky eyes and water hair and fiery blood. If I didn't die at the sacrilege of touching her…

How could I bear the unending night once she left?