9. Eivind

9

EIVIND

I drove like demons were on our tail. For all I knew, they were.

Fucking hell. Skeleton soldiers weren't something I ever thought I'd need to know about. Given the attack, I couldn't doubt Karmen's worry about the sunfires, even though I wasn't clear about what they were exactly.

"The Soldiers of Light are made up of the most famous warriors across all the ages." She sounded like a weary preschool teacher trying to explain why the sky was blue for the millionth time. "They're not sunfires, but they did carry them."

"Carry how?"

"It's kind of like a possession, I think. I'm not sure how it started, though. If Ra assigned a sunfire to each soldier, or if the sunfire chose a soldier to ride. But they attached themselves to the soldiers, so they would have a physical shape. Most of them are more like... shadows or ghosts, but substantial. They mimic other creatures, but I don't know what their true shapes are. I've seen sunfires that looked like warhorses, for example, while others just looked like giants. They can change their shape at will, too, which makes it hard to describe what they are, because they easily look like something different when needed. Aurelian's sunfire always hung about his shoulders like a long red cape, but it could slide down his arms and send long tendrils out past his hands that he used like whips."

"The scars on your back."

I didn't ask, exactly, but she nodded, turning to look out the window, probably so I wouldn't see the slight quiver in her chin. "He was the worst, other than Ra."

"The god of light. Your captor."

"Yes."

I didn't doubt her, but I couldn't keep the incredulity out of my voice either. I couldn't comprehend the things she'd seen or endured. Blazing sun demons. A giant god of light. Who was miraculously dead, even if she could only shrug when I asked how someone had managed to kill a god.

Though I was starting to understand how a god might be killed. After seeing the way she'd turned those skeletons into dust, I could believe that Karmen would have been able to stand up to even the god of light. I'd shot the thing at the door and it hadn't hesitated at all. But she'd stepped outside and they'd gone down on their fucking knees for her.

Because they knew her from Ra's realm? Or for some other reason? I burned to ask her, but I didn't feel like I had the right. For one thing, she'd already been through more trauma than I could comprehend. I didn't want to worsen her fear by pushing for answers. Though I had to wonder what had happened in that room before I managed to find her and bust through the door.

I didn't need any more entanglement with her, either. The more I knew, the more responsibility I felt for her welfare. I'd already been dragged into that alley and then sat waiting outside the hospital, unable to leave. I'd left her in the hotel room, and I hadn't even though about driving off, even after she'd told me to just get her to a place of safety and then I could be on my way.

I didn't want this. This responsibility. This queen.

Fuck. No. This wasn't my life. This wasn't my battle. Fucking skeletons and demons and shit.

Not my fight. Not my queen. Not my responsibility.

I repeated this mantra as I drove the last few hours to Minnesota. Helayna had picked up on some of what was going on through our bond, but thankfully she didn't demand answers or tell me I was a fool. I was. I knew that. But I was a wolf first and foremost. I had to run free, even if I ran alone. The woods and forests were my home. I did what I could to protect the wildness of America and right a few wrongs by using my senses to track down missing people.

I didn't fight skeletons.

Driving down the narrow lane toward the family cabin, I argued with myself. I repeated my mantra. Sweat dripped down my forehead. My hands ached from gripping the steering wheel so fiercely. The closer I came to home, the more I fought myself. I didn't belong here. With her. I needed to be free.

Even though every instinct told me to park the car and carry her across the blood circle in my arms, I only pulled over and left the engine still running. I didn't even put the car in park.

Too much temptation.

Helayna waited at the edge of her nest. Her bond was silent and heavy with disapproval, but she didn't say a word. Neither did Karmen.

Fucking hell. I wanted her to say something. I wanted her to ask me to stay. No, I wanted her to order it. So I could rage with righteous glee that I was right. She was just like any other queen. No king could be safe with a queen, especially one like her.

Instead, she didn't even look at me as she opened the car door. "Thanks again. I appreciate your help."

I clenched my jaws and fought down the snarling, howling wolf inside me. "No sunfires around?"

She glanced up at the sky and laughed awkwardly, as if embarrassed. "Not yet."

She thought I didn't believe her. I did, now. I'd seen enough to know she wouldn't deliberately lie. But if I told her that I believed her...

Then I couldn't leave her. I couldn't escape. She'd still be in danger, unprotected and alone without a single Blood of her own.

Either she was a lying, manipulative queen who'd chain an unwilling wolf king as her Blood, or she wasn't. I needed her to be a liar. Or I was a faithless, honorless cur for leaving her to die in that alley. For leaving her now.

Goddess help me, I can't. I can't stay.

She slid out of the car. She didn't even slam the door shut. She walked toward my sister, head high, without a backwards glance at me.

My heart pounded so hard that my ribs creaked. The wolf quivered inside me, flooding me with animalistic instincts. He wanted to breathe in her scent, tucking his muzzle up beneath her chin. Even better if she'd allow him to grip her throat in his teeth, just to taste the warmth of her skin. He wanted to feel her fingers running through his fur. He wanted to run the familiar paths through the forest with her beside him.

Mate , he thundered in my head. Trust.

I slammed my foot on the gas, tires spinning gravel behind me. I drove away. Distance. I needed distance. I needed space. I'd feel better once I got away from her.

My wolf fell silent inside me. Guilt churned my stomach. Reproach. Betrayal. I felt him turn inside me, giving me his back. Claws ticked softly inside me as he withdrew.

Leaving me cold and alone. As I was leaving her.

Continue reading Karmen Sunna's story in Queen Takes Sunfires Book 2 .