Chapter 3

CHAPTER 3

Priest

“Next victim!” I hear a voice call out, and I look down from the loft to see Reboot stroll in. He turns and points up at me. “I do believe from the list on the board that it’s you.”

“Yeah, all right. Thanks.” I glance over at Paddy. “You want my turn?”

“Nah. I’m right after you.”

“Never mind then.” So much for passing it off. I untie my shop apron, drop it across a chair on my way out, and head across the green. There’s nobody outside, and it only takes me a minute to get all the way over to the lodge.

It’s cool and quiet inside, so I just wander on down the hallway. When I reach the office door, I say, “Hey there!”

Baxter jumps about a foot, and that makes me chuckle. “Oh, hell! You scared the shit outta me!”

I’m laughing when I sit down. “You knew I was coming!”

“Yeah, but you’re sneaky! I didn’t hear you.” He has a file in his hand, and he lays it aside and reaches for the one on top of another pile. I can only assume that it’s mine. “How’s it going?”

“It’s going really well, actually.”

“Oh? Something good happening?”

“Can’t believe nobody told you.”

He rolls his eyes and sighs before he says, “Y’all don’t come in here to talk about each other. You come to talk about yourselves. So no, nobody told me anything.”

“So…” I start. “I have a date tomorrow night.”

“Well, look at you! Who’s the lucky victim, er, woman?”

“Oh, yeah, listen at you. Funny guy. Her name is Aggie and she’s a teacher over at the middle school.”

“That’s great! How did you meet her?”

“Remember when I told you I was speaking to some students?”

“I do. And how did that go?”

“Very well. And that’s how I met her. It was at her school.”

“Nice! So is this kind of a cold call date, or have you actually talked to her and gotten to know her a bit?”

“We’ve been talking on the phone a little. I met her at the school, and then she came out here with a group of students when they came to tour the farm. That’s when I got a chance to ask her out, although she made it really clear that she was going to ask me out if I didn’t ask her out.”

“So a woman who knows what she wants.”

I nod. “Sure appears that way.”

“And what about her admins? Are they going to be okay with her dating you?”

“Already told her they’d back her.”

“Any anticipated problems? I mean, is she like white and you’ll run into―”

“No. Black woman.”

“Aren’t too many around here.”

“Don’t I know it.”

“You haven’t met any white women you’d go out with?”

“I’ve already learned that racism runs deep around here,” I remind him.

“Does she have family here?”

“Yeah.”

Baxter’s eyes narrow. “How do you think they’re going to feel about her dating you?”

“I’m going to let her fight that battle. I’ll step in if I have to, but otherwise, that’s her war.”

“I think that’s the wise stance to take, Priest.” There’s something about the way he’s looking at me that makes me feel very unsettled, and then he drops the question. “What is it about this whole thing that makes you uncomfortable?”

All I can do is close my eyes and take a deep breath. I didn’t know I was going to face this today, but I have to. It’s my chance to pull it out, and since I see her tomorrow night, I guess this is the time. “I’ve never had a relationship with a woman, not to mention the fact that I don’t think I’m good enough for her.”

“So you’ve never screwed up a relationship with a woman.”

That’s an odd question. “No. Never. Because I haven’t had one.”

“My point exactly. That’s promising. And she wants to go out with you, so she obviously believes you’re good enough for her.”

“She doesn’t know me well enough to know that.”

“Apparently she thinks you’re worth getting to know. What does that mean?”

“I dunno. You tell me.”

“Are you questioning her judgment?”

“Well, no, but―”

“Yeah. You are. According to you, her judgment is clouded in reference to you.” When he stops, I’m suddenly afraid of what he’s going to say next. “Are you saying you think she’s chosen you because she thinks you’re the best she can do?”

That’s fucking nervy as hell. “What the hell are you saying? You think she’s such a dog, so fat, so stupid, that she’s settling because she can’t do any better?”

He tips back in Patch’s chair and tents his fingers. “I don’t know. Is that what you’re saying?”

“No!” If he wanted to piss me off, he’s managed. “She’s gorgeous! She’s smart, and funny, and kind. She loves those kids and she’s a great teacher. Everybody says so.”

“So why does she want you?”

Why does she want me? “Shortage of available men?”

“I’m sure she could find somebody if she really wanted to. But don’t you think it’s serendipitous that you weren’t looking, and she wasn’t looking, and you ran into each other? I mean, what were the chances out here? I mean, as men go, you’ve got a few drawbacks, but she still wants to go out with you. Other than your obvious record, you have no marketable skills except the ones you’re using out here now, and it would be hard for you to make a living with those anywhere else. You don’t own a car. Matter of fact, except for your personal effects, you really don’t own anything. And yet she wants to get to know you, to spend time with you. In effect, she wants to be in your life and have you in hers. She’s risking her reputation in the community by being seen with you, but she obviously thinks you’re worth it. And you obviously think she’s worth spending time with or we wouldn’t be having this conversation. So tell me again: What is it about this that’s making you uncomfortable?”

A million thoughts go through my head, but I keep coming back to one. “After this conversation, the only thing that comes back to me is the fact that I’ve never been in a relationship before. Everything else seems to make sense.”

“Then it seems to me that maybe you should cut yourself some slack and take the chance. As for the relationship, you just treat her like you’d want her to treat you, and it should take care of itself, don’t you think?”

Damn, he’s good.

All I can do is nod. “Yeah. I guess so.”

“Go on the date. See what happens. Worst possible thing is that she tells you to go to hell and throws a glass of whatever in your face. Next worst possible thing is that you leave with a new friend. But just think―what if it really is something more? Much more? Wouldn’t that be great?”

“Yeah. It would.”

“And it looks to me like it’s heading in that direction. Don’t you think so?”

“I hope so.”

“Priest.” He stands and rounds the end of the desk to stand in front of me, his ass perched on the front edge of the desk. “Give yourself permission to enjoy the date and trust the process. Give yourself permission to be loved by somebody. Give yourself permission to be hopeful.” He leans down slightly and smiles. “Give yourself permission to be happy.”

“Permission to be happy,” I whisper out loud.

“Yes. Permission to be happy. Stop acting like you’ve got to earn everything you get. Admit to yourself that you deserve to have some happiness just because. The happiness you have, it isn’t something you should have to beg for, or earn, or steal, or bargain for. It can just… be. You can just be happy to be in the presence of a lovely woman, to have a good time, to eat a good steak, to watch a good TV show, to listen to good music. Your happiness doesn’t have to be contingent on who you are or who you’ve been or who you’re becoming. It can just be because you’re happy. There’s nothing wrong with that. You don’t have to have a reason to be happy. You don’t have to have an excuse to be happy. You don’t have to have an event, or a realization, or a goal. You can just be happy because you’re happy. It’s that simple. But you’re a human being and no matter what, you have a right to be happy.”

I have a right to be happy. I can go out to dinner with a beautiful woman, laugh, drink wine, dance, and enjoy myself. There doesn’t have to be an agenda or a plan. I can just be happy to be there.

That’s what I’m going to do. Tomorrow night, I’m going to look across the table into her eyes and just be happy that I’m the guy sitting across the table from her. And if she cancels on me, I’m going to sit in my cottage, eat my frozen dinner, watch a good TV show, drink a beer, get a good night’s sleep, and be happy that I’m in my own place with my own things among people who love me.

Regardless what happens, my life will still be better than it was five years ago. And that’s something to be happy about.

Aggie

It’s been a crazy week. All I’ve really thought about are Darius and tomorrow night. When I step into the salon, my heart falls―Tinsley is nowhere to be found. “You looking for Tins?” Marguerite asks.

“Yeah. She was supposed to work on me this afternoon.”

“She’s having some problems with Braxton-Hicks contractions and the doctor told her to go home and get some rest, but she told me you were coming. I’ll take care of you.”

That scares me a little. Not everybody can do ethnic hair, and I’m telling you, I’ve seen some total disasters white girls have done to sisters’ hair. “Um, I dunno…”

“Call SisterBeauchamp. She’ll tell you I can do it. I do hers.” SisterBeauchamp is a minister herself and also the wife of the minister over at the Roaring Forks A.M.E. Church in Hindman. Only black church in the area. If SisterBeauchamp trusts Marguerite, I’ve got nothing to worry about. Not just that, but the woman always looks amazing, and if Marguerite can do that for SisterBeauchamp, she can do it for me too.

It takes her about fifteen minutes to finish up the woman in the chair, and then she calls me over. “So what are we doing today?”

“I have a date tomorrow night,” I blurt out, and I instantly wish I hadn’t.

“Yeah? Who you goin’ out with?”

“Darius Fowler.”

Marguerite’s looking at my hair. “Can’t say that I know him.”

“They call him Priest.”

“Oh, yeah! Micah cuts his hair. Good-lookin’ fella. So you’re goin’ on a date with him?”

“Yeah. And I need to look nice.”

“You wanna keep it natural? Or do you want to do something special with it?”

“I have no idea.”

“How ’bout corkscrew curls? And maybe put a mahogany rinse on it?”

The picture I’m getting in my mind is pretty good. “You know, that sounds nice. Let’s try that.”

“Okay. Let’s get you back here, wash it, deep condition it, put the rinse on it, and blow it out. And we can just go from there.”

“Sounds good.”

We chat as she works. It’s the first time I’ve really talked to Marguerite, and she’s super nice. I’ve always wanted to ask, but instead, she tells me outright that one of her grandparents was Mexican and another was American Indian. That explains her coloring and facial features.

I hate the blowing out part, the tugging and pulling, but that’s just black girl life. Once she gets all that done, she starts coating strands with a thermal protectant and styling medium and pulls out the little curling iron. After she’s gotten about five done, she asks, “Whaddya think?”

“I like it! And I like that rinse too. Just a little bit of red, but not too much.”

“Yep. It’s my favorite. I use it on mine quite a bit. Makes it so pretty and shiny. Now we can really go to town on this.” Not only is it going to look great, but this is a pleasant way to spend an afternoon, just chatting and laughing. I love Tinsley, but Marguerite is a pleasure to talk to, and I think from now on if Tinsley is busy, I’ll just see Marguerite.

An hour later, she spins me toward the mirror. “Well? I love it, but do you?”

It’s gorgeous. I never thought I could look this glamorous, but I do. “Oh, wow. It’s amazing! It looks so good!”

“You’ll look beautiful for that man tomorrow night.”

“I dunno about that, but at least I’ll be presentable.”

She spins my chair back to face her and glowers at me. “What do you mean, at least you’ll be presentable? That guy is lucky you said you’d go out with him.”

I can feel my eyes widen. “Me? I’m lucky he asked me out.”

“No, ma’am. You’re quite the catch. You’re a lovely lady, smart, got a good job, people like you. Everybody in this community respects you. You been teachin’ at that school for a long time, so they must like you and you must be doin’ a good job. You’re friendly and sweet. I hear the kids at the school love you.”

That makes me chuckle under my breath. “Not all of ’em.”

“Yeah, well, that just means you’re doin’ your job. But they all know that you care about ’em, and that’s somethin’ a lot of ’em don’t get at home. You’re good people. Them’s hard to find around here.”

“Okay, if you say so.”

“I do. You’re all dolled up. Put on some glad rags tomorrow night and go have fun. Have all the fun you can handle! Maybe you’ll go out with him a second time if he’s lucky.”

“Well, okay then! I’m-a give it my best shot!”

“I’d say you won’t have to work too hard. He’s probably already smitten with you.” Doesn’t matter how much it is―I’m giving her a big fat tip. She just made me feel like somebody, and around here, that doesn’t happen very often.

And for the record, I’m nobody, but if he thinks I’m somebody, that’s all I really care about.

Priest

We’ve talked every night this week. No heavy breathing. Nothing like that. Just asking about each other’s day, what we’ve been doing. Kinda nice. Small talk at its finest.

And now it’s five o’clock on Friday night, and I’m starting to panic. I’ve never actually taken a woman on a date. Never. I was seventeen when I went in and forty-five when I came out. There’s not a lot of learning about women between those two points in time except what other guys told me. I’d been with a couple of girls when I went in, mostly several years older than me, girls who belonged to other guys in the gang who passed them around to show off what they had. The Masters of Sin had a very “all for one, one for all” philosophy, and if a guy wanted your piece of ass, sharing was the way to prove your dedication to the brotherhood.

My first year in the joint, I was an easy mark for the bigger, stronger guys. Rarely did a day go by that I didn’t have somebody’s dick up my ass. Then I was almost killed twice, and while I was recovering the second time, I had this vision of my grandmother begging me to be the man she knew I could be. After that, I quit fighting them over anything. I didn’t actually submit. I just told them I wasn’t going to fight them and they’d live with their decisions. By the time my philosophy was formed and the Guardians were born, they wouldn’t mess with me anymore. I had too many men around me. Anyone who touched a Guardian was openly ridiculed by other Guardians, so they behaved themselves.

And now, here I am, about to embark on my first adult relationship, and I’m scared shitless. Who woulda thunk it? Ghost and Bulldog started their relationships with Izzy and Tinsley in stupid, adversarial ways, so they’d be no help. I figure if I need advice, I need to talk to Reboot, Patch, Hollywood, or Paddy, and I know for sure which it will be.

Those wooden fish hanging from his porch post crack me up every time, and I knock on the door and wait. In a couple of seconds, the door pops open and Mavis smiles at me. “Hey! What’s up?”

“Reboot here?”

“Uh, no. He’s back there with the boat.”

Should’ve known. “Thanks, Mavis.”

“You’re welcome.” I’m walking away when she says, “Hey, don’t you have a date in a couple of hours?”

“Uh, I need to leave in a little over an hour to pick her up.”

“Oh. Well, y’all have fun. I’m sure you have something amazing planned.”

Was I supposed to plan something amazing? Oh, fuck. I haven’t even gotten this thing started and I’ve already screwed it up. “Um, no. Should I have?”

She offers a quick shrug before she says, “Not necessarily. What do you want this date to be about?”

Oh, shit. Do they have to be themed? That’s bad. “What exactly do you mean?”

“Well… Do you want this to be about getting to know each other? Or do you have an agenda, like finding out everything you can about her? Or is it just about crawling in the sack?”

“Oh, no. Not crawling in the sack. I’d like that but, no. That’s not what I pictured anyway.”

“What did you picture?”

“Uh, nice meal. Somewhere kinda quiet. Talking. Laughing. Maybe a little hand-holdin’.”

“Then a nice little restaurant and a table in the corner should be fine.”

Whew. Crisis averted, I reckon. “Okay. You scared me for a minute there.”

A little laugh fills the air and she smiles from ear to ear. “Oh, honey, all she really wants is for you to treat her with respect and act like you’re interested in her.”

That’s easy enough. “I can do that.”

“Then you’re all set! See ya later. Hope you find Reboot. That’s where he was last time I saw him.”

“Thanks, Mavis. I appreciate it.” I hear the door close behind me as I saunter down the stairs, and I smile to myself. After that little chat, I don’t need Reboot.

I think I’ve got this under control.

Patch told me not to worry about being on call. If something happens that we get called out, they can manage, and I appreciate him being so supportive. Not everybody has a boss who cares about them, but he’s my brother as sure as he was born into my family and I into his.

The apartment complex she lives in outside Hindman is small but nice. There’s a cluster of duplexes across the highway that aren’t so nice. They look like they haven’t been tended to since they were built, and I’d say that was probably in the sixties. I’m driving Patch’s truck, and I find myself wishing I’d left a little early so I could stop by a convenience store or something and empty some of the trash out. It’s filthy because so many of us use it, and I decide right then that I’m going to have to save up and buy myself something to drive.

There’s a storm door, and the inside front door is wide open, so I press the doorbell button and wait. With the sun so bright, I can’t see inside, but when somebody finally does come to the door, it’s a grizzled old man. “Help ya, son?”

“Um, I hope so. I’m looking for Aggie?”

“Oh. Next door,” he says and points to my left.

“I’m so sorry, sir,” I mumble.

“Nah. It’s fine. It’s hard to tell with these apartments. Numberin’ ain’t very clear. Name’s Tilley. MarcusTilley.” He sticks out a hand, which I take instantly.

“DariusFowler. Nice to meet you.”

“And you too. Knowed MissAggie long?”

“No, sir. Going out on a first date tonight.”

“Whoo-boy! Been a long time for me! Y’all have fun and tell her I ain’t forgot about her pie plate. I’ll bring it back to her tomorrow.”

“I’ll sure tell her. You have a nice evening, Marcus,” I say as I turn toward Aggie’s place.

“You too. Have a good time and don’t do nothin’ I wouldn’t do!” he says, laughing. I give him a little salute with a smile and set out across the grass.

I knock on the door and at first, I think she’s gone, but then the door flies open. “Oh! Hey!”

“Hi. I met your next door neighbor. Got the wrong apartment,” I say with a sheepish grin.

“Marcus? He’s a nice ol’ fella.”

“He said he’ll bring your pie plate back tomorrow,” I tell her as she opens the door for me.

“He’s been saying that for about two months now,” she says, laughing. “Let me put on my shoes and grab my bag.” She disappears into the next room, so I look around.

It’s just an average apartment. The furniture is nice, and she’s got interesting artwork hanging around. The rug is pretty, a combination of red, blue, yellow, orange, and green, and the blue furniture is pretty much perfect with it. There’s a green chair across the room in front of a small desk, and farther down in the open floor plan I can see a dinette table and four chairs in the little kitchen. Nothing is fancy, but it’s all attractive and neat, and it’s obvious she put a lot of thought into the choices of furnishings and accessories. “Got a nice place here,” I call out.

“Thank you. It’s not much, but it’s plenty for me.” At that moment she reappears in the doorway between the rooms, and I’m struck by the simplicity of her outfit and how it makes her look dressed up and yet comfortable, a simple shift dress and some flats in a turquoise color that makes her cheeks look rosy. As I take in the sight of her, she looks down, smooths her dress, and quietly asks, “Do I look okay?”

How can this woman think she doesn’t look okay? “You look beautiful. That color really suits you. And your hair is really pretty.”

The smile that she bestows on me makes me warm all over. “Thank you. I guess I clean up okay.”

“You’ve looked beautiful every time I’ve seen you.” Who made this woman feel less than, and how do I find him so I can kick his ass? She’s beaming, and I feel like I just won the lottery. It’s so simple to make people feel good about themselves, and I shouldn’t even have to try that hard with her. She’s so pretty that it should be easy. “Ready to go?”

“Sure.”

Once she steps out, I pull the door closed and wait for her to lock it. When she’s made sure the storm door is closed, I step up beside her and we walk side by side to the truck. “Oh, I should apologize right now. The truck is a mess. It’s Patch’s truck, and everybody uses it, so nobody really takes care of it. If I’d realized how much of a disaster it was, I would’ve taken a few extra minutes to clean it out.”

“I’m sure it’s fine.” I reach for the truck door and open it for her, then help her step up into it. “Where are we going?”

“Hang on.” When I’ve rounded the front end and climbed in behind the steering wheel, I answer, “I figured just somewhere simple. There’s that wing place out at the edge of town in Hazard, and I thought that might be a good choice.”

“Oh, I love me some wings!” she says with a laugh. “They’ve got those parmesan garlic wings, and those things are amazin’!”

“I like the sweet Thai chili wings. Those are my favorites.”

“That’s what I love about wings. Everybody can have whatever kind they want.”

“Exactly,” I say as I pull the truck away from the curb and we take off.

What happens next is possibly the most fun I’ve had in a long, long time. We eat, laugh, and talk about stupid stuff we watched on TV as little kids, stupid stuff we watch on TV now, food we hate, animals we think are funny. It’s light, entertaining, and pretty much effortless. I let this go on for a good long while, but at the one hour mark, I finally say, “Okay. Let’s talk about us. Have you been married?” I already know the answer, but she doesn’t have to know that.

“Once. Found out he was already married. And that was the end of that. You?”

“I went to prison when I was seventeen, so no.”

“Oh, right. Are you interested in that? Marriage?”

“I never really gave it much thought until…” And I stop. Shouldn’t have said that.

“Until what?”

Might as well go ahead and lay my neck on the chopping block. “Until I met you.”

“Oh. Well, honestly, I haven’t let myself go there in my head yet. We barely know each other.”

“But that’s something we can fix.”

“True. Do you want to? I mean, get to know each other that well?”

I shrug. “I’d like to at least see where it goes. You?”

“Same.”

“Then we’re headed in the same direction. That’s good. So tell me what your ideal relationship would look like.”

“Well…” Can’t wait to hear this. “Somebody who understands what I do for a living and doesn’t come unglued if I come home upset about something a kid said or did. Somebody who understands my need to help the kids if I can. Sometimes I have to spend an evening grading papers. Sometimes I have ball games or other sporting events I need to go to. Plus I usually teach summer school. They have a hard time finding teachers to do summer school, but I don’t have kids, so it’s not like I’m missing summer break with my kids like some of the other teachers would, and I’ve always needed the money too, so it’s been extra income. And sometimes I just need a few hours to myself to unwind and relax. Plus I’d like to have a chance to get together with my friends every couple of weeks without worrying that I’m going home to somebody who’s mad or jealous. And I love my family, so spending time with them is important.”

Before I can stop myself, I say, “Sounds like you might not have enough time for somebody else in your life. It’s pretty full.”

There’s an edge to her voice when she asks, “What about you? What’s your life look like?”

“I work all day five days a week. In the evenings, I kick back. I don’t have anywhere I have to be or anything I have to do unless we get called out. My weekends are pretty free too. I don’t have family except for the guys and their ladies, so I’m usually there, helping one of them with something or just hanging out.”

It gets really quiet, and I wait. I’m not sure where I’d fit into her life, or if I even would. Finally, she says, “I guess I’d have to shift some priorities.”

“Yeah, but which ones? Which would you be willing to shift?”

A deep sigh leaves her lips before she speaks. “I’d have to cut back some with the school. I’ve taken every opportunity to plug things in because I didn’t have anybody to come home to. If I did, that would take priority. I’d still like to teach summer school, but I wouldn’t have to go to every ball game or event. And I don’t see my family that often, so that’s not really a problem. I would hope that my partner would love them too and want to spend time with them.”

“Not unreasonable.” I’m still not convinced she’d make time for me, or anybody else, for that matter. And I get it. She’s been alone for a lot of years, and she’s found ways to fill her life. It makes perfect sense. But I’m looking for signs that she’s willing to stop doing that, to make room for somebody, and I’m just not sure yet. Something tells me it’s going to be a lot harder than she thinks, and I decide it’s time to poke the bear. “Can I ask you something?”

“Sure!”

“You have a lot of stuff in your life, but don’t you ever get lonely? Even with all the stuff in your life, when you come home, the house is quiet and there’s nobody there. Doesn’t that bother you?”

A split second later, a pang of guilt stabs through my chest as her eyes well with tears. “Of course I’m lonely. I wouldn’t be here with you if I wasn’t.”

Choosing my words carefully, I reply, “There’s more to not being lonely than having somebody in your life. You have to let them in too, and that’s hard sometimes when you haven’t had anybody in a long time.”

“Then how is it so easy for you?”

“Because, honey, I’m starting from zero. It’s not just that I had nobody. I had nothing―nobody, no home, no place to be, no job, no family, nothing. When I left that prison, I had the clothes on my back, twenty-five dollars, and a bus pass. That was it. I took the bus to the nearest town, Menard, and from there I tried to put my life back together. I only wound up here because somehow my parole officer heard about what Patch was doing and asked me if I thought I’d fit in. At first the place and the work didn’t sound that great to me, but the idea of disappearing into the mountains of eastern Kentucky did because I didn’t want to go back to Chicago. I knew if I did, it would be too easy for me to slip right back into gang life, and I didn’t want that. I wanted a fresh start. That’s what this place represents to me, but I came here with zero connections, zero knowledge of the area, nothing. You hear people talk about a leap of faith? It really was, because I knew if it didn’t work out, I’d be here in what I thought of as the middle of nowhere with no way to get out and nothing to fall back on. You’re trying to patch somebody into an already-full life. I’m just trying to fill mine with things and people and meaning.”

She’s nodding along as I speak. “I get what you’re saying.”

“I see that as the biggest difference between us. There’s definitely room in my life for you, but can you make room in your life for me?”

It’s almost like I can see all the emotions churning inside her just by looking at her face, and then she says, “I’ll make a promise to you that I’ll do it, make room. There’s room in my life for you if you want it.”

“ Now we have something to work with! Okay. So let’s just try our best to spend time together, get to know each other, and see where it goes, okay?”

“Yes. That’s good.”

That’s the moment the server shows up with our check, and I hand her my debit card. We chat while she runs it, and when she brings back the final ticket, I put a nice tip on it and smile at Aggie. “Guess that’s that. Ready to go?”

She sits there for a second, her smile a gentle crescent on that luminous face. “Not really. I’ve had such a good time, Darius. I like spending time with you.”

“I like spending time with you, baby girl.” The minute the words are out of my mouth, I see her blush under her dark complexion. I’m going to choose to take that as a good thing. “Let’s get you home and we’ll talk later.”

“Okay.”

We keep chatting all the way back to her house, and when I get out of the truck to help her out, I’m a bit sad. It’s been a good night, and I hate for it to end, but I’m smart enough to know that spending the night wouldn’t be a good idea. I could make this all about sex, but that’s not really what I want―twenty years ago, maybe, but not now. I see all of the guys with their ladies and I want what they have. And you don’t get that by being too eager. When we stop at her front door, I take both of her hands so she’s turned toward me. “This has been the best first date of my life.” Then I add, “It’s been the only first date of my life!”

Her brow wrinkles downward. “What?”

“I’ve never been on a date before.”

“But you had girlfriends before―”

“You don’t understand. In thug life, the girls be chillin’ where you be hangin’ out. They’re always available for sex or whatever. There wasn’t any dating. Nobody dated. You just hooked up, got what you wanted, and went on about it. So this was my first date ever.”

There’s that cute little smile. “I’m flattered.”

“You should be! You were definitely worth the wait. So goodnight, Aggie. I enjoyed this, and I want to do it again real soon.”

“Me too.”

I don’t make a big deal out of it, just lean in and plant a little kiss on her lips. When I pull back, she’s still smiling. “Goodnight, baby girl.”

“Night.” I head on out to the truck, pleased with myself, and when I turn back to look, she’s standing inside the door, still smiling, and gives me a little wave.

I return it and call out, “Lock that door!”

“I will! Bye!”

I swear, that truck’s tires aren’t even touching the ground when I drive back. Damn thing’s floating on air. I had a first date―a real date―with a real woman, not some girl slummin’ around with her poon hanging out, gaming to be a baby mama to some gang banger. Don’t nobody need that shit. Nope. I want a real woman, and AggieHenry is a real woman.

And I’m real damn happy about that.

Aggie

Oh my god. I’m so damn excited that I can’t sleep. That man… Thinking about him makes me warm all over. And those hands… I want them all over me. But he’s so smart too, and funny. And he’s really kind. In my mind, I try to imagine the man who could kill somebody just because he wanted to and I can’t. He’s not like that at all. I mean, I’ve heard him talk about his early life, but that doesn’t match what I see now. Maybe that old talk about how people never change isn’t true. He sure seems to have changed.

Once I’m ready for bed, I sit on the edge of my queen mattress and think about the evening as I rub lotion into my hands and arms. I know it was just a wing place, but it was kinda magical. He smiles a lot, and I like that. Jason didn’t smile much. He liked to talk about all the things that were wrong with me―my hair was too natural, my hips were too big, I needed to stay out of the light because my skin was too dark. Honestly, I don’t remember that man ever saying that he liked one single thing about me, except my wallet. He sure didn’t mind asking me for money. When I open the drawer to put the lotion in, there’s the picture of us together. I’ve kept it all this time.

Without another thought, I grab it and toss it in the trash can. I don’t need no stinkin’ asshole tellin’ me what’s wrong with me. Darius doesn’t do that. He seems to like me just like I am, and that’s really nice for a change.

Just as I’m reaching for the lamp, my phone rings, and I pick it up, expecting to see a call from my mama telling me she’s sick and she wants me to do this or that for her. Instead, it’s Darius. “Hi!”

“Hey, beautiful. You gettin’ ready for bed?”

“Yep. Got my lotion on and everything. You gettin’ ready for bed?”

“Yep. Already in bed. Just wanted to hear your voice again.”

Oh my god. He wanted to hear my voice! “Yeah? Well, it’s good to hear yours too.”

“Good. So I was thinkin’… whaddya think about coming out here tomorrow? You could spend the day, eat with everybody, just kinda get acclimated and see what you think about it.”

“I’ve been there, remember?”

“I know, but that was as a guest with a bunch of other people. I’m thinkin’ this would be more like a member of the family, you know? See if you’re comfortable here. Because this isn’t something I can easily change. It’s pretty much my life, or at least my best chance at it, and if you don’t like it here or don’t like everybody, then I’m not sure―”

“Yes!” Jesus, I sound eager! I guess that’s because I am. “Yes. I’d love to do that.”

“Okay. Well, um, you want to drive out here?”

“Sure. When?”

“We’re usually up early, but you don’t have to be here then. I know it’s one of your days off, so sleep in and whenever you get here is fine. And Aggie?”

“Yeah?”

“I really enjoyed tonight. I don’t want to read too much into it, but I feel like maybe you enjoyed it too and―”

“I did. I really, really did.”

“Good. Then I’ll see you tomorrow sometime. And if you want to stay the night, you’re welcome to. Just bring whatever you need. We don’t have to do anything unless you want, but if you want, then… We’ll just see how it goes. How’s that?”

Oh. My. God. “Sounds good. I’ll plan on staying.”

“Great. So I’ll see you tomorrow. Night, baby girl.”

Hearing him call me that makes me shiver all over with excitement. “Night, babe.”

I just called him babe. Ohmygod, ohmygod, this is real. I can’t believe it!

There’s a chance I may finally get a happily ever after!