Chapter 41

CHAPTER 41

MARIGOLD

W hen we pulled up to the sprawling estate, my breath caught in my throat. It wasn't the first time I'd seen the Bancroft family home, but it still managed to steal my breath away. The mansion was a stunning blend of old-world charm and modern luxury. It was fit for a king.

The bottom floor was lit up like a Christmas tree. Every light on the bottom floor appeared to be on. As usual, there were cars lined up in the driveway.

Zayn turned to me with a small, reassuring smile. "Ready?"

I wasn't. Not really. But I nodded anyway. "Yep."

We stepped out of the car with Zayn coming around to stand next to me. The cool evening air wrapped around us. The gravel crunched under our shoes as we walked toward the front door. I felt Zayn's hand settle on the small of my back, a gesture that was supposed to be comforting but instead sent a shiver down my spine. I couldn't help but feel like an outsider walking into a world that wasn't mine.

Even though I had been here before, tonight felt even more formal than the last dinner. I had been comfortable with the whole thing until that damn fancy invitation showed up. It had intimidated the shit out of me.

The dress gave me some confidence, but I was still nervous. As we entered the foyer, the warmth of the house enveloped us, along with the smell of roasting turkey, cinnamon, and freshly baked bread. It was a comforting mix, the kind of aroma that made you feel like you'd just stepped into a holiday ad, where everything was perfect and everyone was happy. I wasn't fooled, though. Perfection like this was an illusion, and happiness was fleeting.

"Marigold!" Kathy's voice broke through my thoughts as she bustled over to greet us. She was wearing a festive apron over her elegant dress, her hair pulled back into a neat bun. She looked the part of the perfect hostess, every bit of her exuding warmth and welcome. "I'm so glad you could make it! Come in, come in!"

She pulled me into a hug. I returned it with as much enthusiasm as I could muster. "Thank you for having me, Kathy. Everything smells amazing."

"Well, we aim to please," she said with a wink, pulling back to give Zayn a quick kiss on the cheek. "Zayn, go on and join the others in the den. Marigold, why don't you come with me to the kitchen? The ladies are all in there, and I could use another set of hands."

"Absolutely." I nodded. I was more than happy to be useful. It would make me feel less out of place.

Zayn gave me a quick, almost apologetic glance before he was swept away by Armand, who was grinning like the cat who had caught the canary.

"Right this way." Kathy nudged me gently toward the kitchen.

The kitchen was a whirlwind of activity. Every surface was covered with bowls, cutting boards, and dishes of all kinds. The other women—Zayn's sisters-in-law and cousins—were all busy chopping vegetables, stirring sauces, or arranging platters. They looked like they were having fun, though, chatting and laughing as they worked. I felt a sudden surge of anxiety, knowing that I was about to be plunged into a situation where I was the odd one out.

"Here, let me introduce you," Kathy said, steering me toward the group. She began naming everyone, but I was too overwhelmed to remember much of it. All I could do was smile and nod, hoping that I wouldn't embarrass myself by forgetting someone's name later.

I recognized a couple of them from our last dinner.

"Marigold, right?" One of the women reached out to shake my hand. "I'm Rory. I'm married to James, Kathy's youngest son. We've heard so much about you."

"All good things, I hope," I replied with a nervous laugh, trying to keep up the pretense.

"Of course!" Rory said with a wink. "You're a bit of a mystery, you know. Zayn's been keeping you all to himself."

I felt my cheeks heat up at that, unsure how to respond. Fortunately, Kathy came to my rescue.

"Rory, why don't you show Marigold how to set up the hors d'oeuvres?"

Rory led me over to a long marble counter where a variety of small appetizers were arranged. I focused on the task, grateful for something to do with my hands. As I worked, I tried to relax, letting the conversation around me wash over like a wave.

I caught glimpses of their conversations happening all around me. They talked about their children, their plans for the holidays, and shared stories from past family gatherings. I listened quietly, occasionally adding in a comment or a laugh when appropriate, but mostly I just observed. These women were so at ease with one another, so comfortable in their roles, and I envied that. They were part of something, a family unit that I was just playing a role in. It wasn't real, not for me, and it never would be.

But they didn't seem to see that. They were all so kind and welcoming, treating me as if I truly belonged here, as if I was already part of the family. It was both comforting and terrifying. Comforting because I so desperately wanted to be accepted, and terrifying because I knew it wouldn't last. When all this ended, I would be left on the outside again, looking in.

My thoughts were interrupted by a burst of laughter from the doorway. I looked up to see the men filing into the kitchen, drawn by the smell of food and, no doubt, by the prospect of sneaking a taste before dinner. Armand led the charge, his booming laugh echoing through the room as he approached the counter where the turkey was resting.

"Alright, alright, who's ready for the main event?" he declared, picking up the carving knife with a dramatic flourish.

"Not you, that's for sure!" Kathy exclaimed, smacking his hand away with a spatula. "I swear, Armand, you're worse than the kids. Can't you wait ten minutes?"

"Ten minutes? You're killing me, Kathy." Armand groaned, but there was a twinkle in his eye as he backed off, holding his hands up in surrender.

The other men were no better, all of them trying to sneak bites of the food as Kathy chased them out of the kitchen with her spatula. The scene was chaotic and filled with laughter. For a moment, I found myself genuinely smiling. It was impossible not to be caught up in their joy, their excitement for the holiday, and their camaraderie.

They were a real family. I had no doubt they would go to war for each other. That was the kind of family I had always longed for. But it was just me and my dad. I didn't have a small army in my corner.

"Alright, everyone out!" Kathy finally ordered, pointing her spatula toward the door. "Go on, get out of my kitchen and let me finish up in peace!"

There were more groans and playful protests, but eventually, they all filed out, leaving the women to finish up. As the last of them disappeared into the hallway, Kathy turned to us with a sigh of relief.

"Honestly, I don't know how they manage to be so helpful and so annoying at the same time," she muttered, shaking her head.

I couldn't help but laugh at that, feeling some of my earlier tension begin to melt away. "They really are something."

Kathy smiled at me, her expression softening. "They are. And so are you, Marigold. I'm so glad you're here with us."

Her words took me by surprise. I didn't know how to respond.

"Thank you," I managed to say, my voice a little shakier than I'd like. "I'm glad to be here too."

It was true, even though it scared me to admit it. Being here, surrounded by these people, was both wonderful and terrifying. I wanted so badly to fit in, to be part of this world, but I knew that it was only temporary. I was just a visitor to this family. I didn't get to make plans for next year or accept an invitation to attend the next baby shower.

Still, for now, I would allow myself to enjoy it, to soak in the warmth and the joy, and to let myself believe, if only for a little while, that I truly belonged.

We put the final touches on the meal. Kathy told us all to take a minute. She was going to do the last touches.

I found myself drawn to the windows, mesmerized by the view. The trees were wrapped in lights, their branches sparkling like something out of a dream. The shrubs and hedges were also lit, creating a fairy-tale landscape that made me feel like I'd stepped into another world. It was pure magic, and for a moment, I let myself get lost in it.

I wondered what this place would look like at Christmas. Would the twinkle lights be replaced by more traditional holiday decorations? Would there be a giant Christmas tree, adorned with ornaments and tinsel? I thought about the tiny Charlie Brown tree my family had when I was growing up. My mother loved the simplicity of our small trees that we picked out together every year. A pang of longing shot through me. She would have loved to see this, to be part of something so beautiful.

I reached up to touch one of the turquoise earrings she'd given me, the cool stone a comforting weight against my fingertips. I missed her so much, especially during the holidays. It was supposed to be a time for family, but instead, I was surrounded by people who weren't really mine.

As I stood there, lost in thought, I felt a familiar presence behind me. Zayn's arm wrapped around my waist, pulling me back against him. His warmth seeped into me, grounding me in the moment.

"What are you thinking about?" he asked, his voice low and soft in my ear.

I hesitated for a moment, then decided to tell him the truth. "I was thinking about Christmas. And my mom. And what this place is going to look like when it's all decorated."

Zayn chuckled softly, the sound vibrating through my back. "You mean come tomorrow? Kathy wastes no time in the transition from fall to Christmas. She'll have my dad up on a ladder, helping where he can, and a whole crew of professionals working outside to deck this place out." He gave me a gentle tug, pulling me closer and pressing a kiss to my cheek. "You'll love it."

My heart did a little flip at that. I couldn't help but smile. "I'm sure I will. It's all so magical."

"It is," he agreed, his voice full of affection. "And so are you."

I turned my head to look up at him, my heart doing that pitter-patter thing it always did when he was near. It scared me how easily I was falling for him, how much I wanted this to be real. But I knew better. This was just a game, a temporary arrangement, and when it ended, so would whatever this was between us.

The thought sent a pang of sadness through me. I pulled away from him, needing some distance before I let my emotions get the better of me.

"I'm just going to go to the bathroom," I said with a forced smile.

Zayn looked at me with concern, but he didn't press. "Alright. I'll be here when you get back."

I nodded and slipped away, heading down the hallway in search of a moment of solitude. The mansion was so big, it was easy to get lost, but I didn't mind. I needed the time to clear my head, to remind myself that this wasn't real, that I needed to protect my heart.

I was Cinderella. The clock would strike midnight eventually and all of this was going to go poof.

I made my way to the bathroom, quickly closing the door behind me. I leaned against the door, closing my eyes and taking a deep breath. I could do this. I could play the part, enjoy the moment, and then walk away when it was all over. I had to.

Because no matter how much I wished it were otherwise, I didn't belong in this world. And no amount of twinkle lights or Christmas magic could change that.