Chapter 18

Eighteen

“Jake?”I was surprised to see him in the kitchens since it was nearly midafternoon. I’d been told he’d gone out this morning, so I hadn’t expected to see him back here. But no, there he was, snacking away on eggs and toast. A late breakfast indeed, but I was glad he no longer looked like death warmed over.

He had his mouth full but waved me in closer. I’d actually come here for lunch, wanting something quick, as I had far too many bills and such to get through before I could leave. I’d always spare some time for him, though.

I joined him at the kitchen table, and a plate of food plus hot tea magically appeared before me. It looked delicious, so I just said thanks and dug in.

Jake sipped his tea, clearing his mouth. “Ah, I feel like I’m alive again and not eligible for burial in the next twelve hours. Someone should have warned me Mina can drink like a horse.”

“Ha!” I laughed at the description, as it was wholly accurate. “I didn’t think you would go out drinking with her, or I would have. She was very impressed you could keep up with her.”

“I regret keeping up with her. So much.” Jake grimaced and drank more tea. “If not for magically infused hangover cures, we would not be having this conversation, trust me.”

I snickered, amused at him. Jake had definitely learned his lesson.

“I’m glad to see you now that I’m a functioning human being again. I’ve been busy this morning.”

I couldn’t imagine what he had been up to. Jake seemed to live to surprise me. “With what?”

“I made friends with Melva, and we have a contract in place. I healed someone, too!”

Now that sounded very promising. “You did?”

“Melva’s got an adopted child who was in really bad shape. I managed to heal her right up.” Jake looked pleased with himself, as he should. “I’m now more confident about healing anyone who gets into serious trouble.”

I felt like I could breathe a little better, too. I’d known he could do it, but him gaining the experience and confidence, that was a game changer. “I’ll spread the word.”

“Yeah, do so; I don’t want people suffering unnecessarily. Anyway, Melva was super grateful and we came to an agreement that’s heavily in my favor because of it. I’ll make potions and she’ll be my distributor. Part of my agreement with Melva involved grain for us.”

He’d…what? He’d bartered for not just his own means, but for my people as well?

“I’ve got a sizable quantity of at cost grain ordered that we need to pick up. Er, in three or four days, to be precise. She said she’d prepare for me the same amount you ordered last time? I’m still figuring out how you guys weigh and measure things, but is that enough?”

He’d replaced everything that had been tainted, in other words. I stared at this man who hadn’t been here long at all, whom I barely knew—a man I was starting to trust completely because he routinely did things like this. How could someone be this considerate, this thoughtful, this kind? Without asking for anything in return.

Words utterly failed me. I felt overcome with so many emotions: gratitude, relief, and a burning feeling in my chest I couldn’t quite put a name to. It didn’t matter. I twisted in my chair to throw both arms around him and hug him tightly.

Jake startled in my arms for a moment before putting his own around me, hugging back. His head came in next to mine and he murmured for my ears alone, “I know things have been rough up here. I can’t do a lot, but I’ve got your back, man.”

I snorted, feeling like my laughter would mix with tears. He had no idea what kind of weight he’d just taken off my shoulders. It had been an incessant worry I’d been able to do little about.

“Jake,” I responded in the same soft tone, “you made sure we had enough to eat this winter. Can’t do a lot is the largest understatement I’ve heard all century.”

“Oh. Uh, well, cool. I hoped it would bridge the gap, at least.”

This man. What was I supposed to do with him?

The angle of the hug was getting awkward, so I let go. With great reluctance, I might add, as I quite enjoyed having him so close. Being like this reminded me of how clingy he’d been while drunk, and the, uh, result of that. He was far too tempting normally, but coming near like this tested my willpower to the limit. I sat back, but I kept us close, ignoring the bustle of the kitchen around us. I was sure they were keeping an ear on our conversation, but I didn’t care what my kitchen staff heard or observed just then.

“What made you think to ask for grain?” I hadn’t asked him to help. I hadn’t, under the circumstances, thought he would know to.

“Ummm…too many hours playing Valheim and Minecraft?”

Those words didn’t make sense to me. Playing? “Are these games?”

“Yeah. Very different than what you’d see here, but basically they are survival games. You’re plopped into a world with little to no equipment and you have to find food, create shelter, defend against monsters—all of that. After I got married, I didn’t socialize with people much unless it was business related, so I ended up reading or playing a lot of games.”

The games sounded intriguing, but mostly, I heard the loneliness in his words. Usually a marriage was the start to a fulfilling life, not the end of it all. He’d mentioned the marriage had been unhappy and that he’d divorced his husband right before coming here. I could see a little more of why he would do so.

How anyone could possibly ignore Jake boggled the mind. It did make me wonder… “Is that why you’re so focused on making friends here?”

“Um. Well, making friends in a brand-new place is always a good idea, right?”

“Even if you’d not made the grain deal, you understand that I like you very much anyway, right?”

He froze, a poleaxed expression growing on his face.

Oh dear. He didn’t know that?

A flush of pink touched his cheeks. “Um, thanks. I guess I really needed to hear that.”

Glad I’d said it, then. I made a mental note to say it more often.

“The grain deal, though, that’s because I like everyone here. They’ve all been sweet to me, and welcoming, and I need that more than ever right now. I wanted to give back in some way.” Jake scratched his head before refocusing on his plate. Almost like he was too embarrassed to look me in the eye for some reason. “I’m used to taking care of people, it’s second nature, so I guess that played into it too.”

This was interesting to me. “Is that from being the oldest child, do you think?”

Jake made a face, slathering butter over a fresh piece of toast. “Yeah. And I was expected to be the ‘man of the house’ before I was really even talking because I’m their only son. My parents are the type who should never have been parents. They had no patience with kids. They only had the three they did because they had plans of marrying us off for their own profit.”

I knew he’d said his family wasn’t aristocracy, but he’d undoubtedly been very wealthy before coming here. Only the elite thought of their children as commodities.

“I grew up managing things, taking care of my sisters, which in hindsight was the worst parentification in history. Imagine a six-year-old taking care of a two-year-old.”

“Shouldn’t that be too young to take care of a sibling?”

“You’d think, wouldn’t you? But my parents are lazy as fuck, always have been, so I ended up doing a lot of stuff for my sisters. Habit stuck, I guess. I much prefer it here because when people ask for my help, they really need it and they’re honestly grateful for it. It’s not expected and demanded of me.”

I could see how it would be a sore spot for him. It gave me better insight into this sometimes enigmatic man. I also didn’t want him to feel like we were somehow his responsibility. It seemed to me that he’d been forced to shoulder too much from a very young age.

I didn’t want to dissuade him, mind you, I just didn’t want to be a burden to him. “Jake, normally, it’s the ruling family who have to worry about food?—”

“Like your spouse?”

“Well, yes.”

He batted those big green eyes at me, leaning in closer so he could peer up through his lashes. That look hit me right in the gut. How did he even manage that face? Like he was teasing and flirting all in the same breath.

“Sounds like a proposal to me,” he murmured, tone wicked.

Oh, I could propose all right. I’d take this man right over my knee, into my lap, and—dammit. Witnesses. Too many witnesses.

Something like sincerity flashed through his eyes. “Don’t overthink it, Theon.”

“With you, that is absolutely impossible to do.” How I managed to string words together, I did not know. I felt so incredibly tongue-tied around this man sometimes.

How did I begin to convey that he was the epitome of everything I’d ever wanted in a life partner? How did I say that I wanted him to flirt with me, that I wanted to flirt back, and for us to never stop flirting even when we’re old and grey without sounding insane?

I barely registered the kitchen door opening until a voice called strongly over the sound of pans clanging and people working. “Hey, Jake!”

His attention abruptly went to the door, and I mentally cursed. I could never seem to catch Jake for more than thirty minutes before there was some kind of interruption. Usually for him. He’d become very popular here.

“You’re done with them already?” Jake popped up, an excited air about him as he rounded the table.

Now I was curious. Just what was he—why the hell was Shoemaker holding up boots? Wait, those looked new. Had he made Jake boots?

“Shoemaker, these look sharp.” Jake took the boots in hand, looking them over. “Knee-high, too. Thanks for that. I have a feeling they’re going to come in very handy soon.”

Too curious to keep sitting there, I went and joined the men. Shoemaker, a Brownie, was a very excellent craftsman, his skills with leather alone leaving most in awe. I wasn’t surprised to see him holding brand-new boots. He was the only producer of shoes we had in the whole duchy. I just hadn’t known he’d made some specifically for Jake.

“Sit down,” Shoemaker ordered, plopping Jake down into the nearest chair. “I want you to try ’em.”

“I was going to do that without you saying so. Trust me, I’m deathly tired of these shoes. They’re a little too big.”

Someone had done good work by putting Shoemaker on the problem.

Shoemaker got Jake’s shoes off in a split second, talking in his slow, almost monotone voice. “Don’t worry about these, I can rework them so they’re comfortable, best to always have at least two pairs of boots out here in the winter so you’ve got something dry to put on. Anyway, put your foot in these, should have plenty of wiggle room in the toes. If there’s not, I can adjust them, don’t worry about that part. How do they feel?”

Jake took the monotone in stride. “Feel great so far. I want to walk around in them first.”

“Of course you should.” Shoemaker finished up the last lace with a deft twist, then stood.

Jake immediately stood as well, walking around the kitchen, bouncing up and down on his toes a few times. He beamed from ear to ear, almost sauntering back. “Shoemaker, these are, bar none, the most comfortable shoes I’ve ever put on. Thanks so much. You sure about reworking my dress shoes?”

“Good leather,” he explained, and while there was no smile on that craggy face, he seemed pleased. “Waste to not use it. You said you wanted brown shoes next?”

“Please and thank you.”

He grunted, picked up the dress shoes, and walked off without any kind of farewell, which was rather typical. Shoemaker wasn’t a personable sort of man. In fact, I wasn’t even entirely sure if Shoemaker was his true name. I’d never heard him introduce himself, but that was what everyone called him and he answered to it, so…Shoemaker it was.

With Jake in far more comfortable shoes, I had a thought intrude. “Jake. Since we now need to wait a couple more days for the grain order to be ready before going to the capital, perhaps we should go beyond the Wall. What do you think?”

“Hmm, yeah, I want a better idea of what I’m facing. That said?—”

Jake’s fingers sought mine, and while he didn’t grab my hand, his fingers danced lightly over my palm, resting at the tips of my fingers. It felt like a rainbow of light lingered where he had touched. Just this simple caress left me a little shaken and aching for more.

The teasing, flirty light was back in his eyes. “I think I need to be armed with a few more songs before we go in. I’ve the rest of the day off, so what do you say? Will you join me in the music room, practice with me?”

A whole afternoon of Jake, music, and no interruptions? Was that supposed to be a trick question? I had bills to pay but they could be pushed off for a day. “Of course.”

“Good. Let’s finish lunch first. Maybe take some tea and snacks with us.”

Those fingers slid back up and into my palm, and this time I dared to try and cage them. He smiled when I did, seeming quite pleased with himself.

“Definitely snacks,” he murmured, the words nearly a purr. “I think we’ll need to be up there for hours, don’t you?”

“Hours at the very least.” I somehow managed words even though thought processes had ground to a halt. I couldn’t really focus on anything except his fingers in mine. “In fact, this might take days. Music can’t be rushed.”

“I knew you’d agree.”

Smirking, Jake kept his hand in mine as he drew me back to the table. I didn’t resist at all. Just held his hand for as long as I could, all the while hoping the flirting meant I could wish for more.

I really, truly, wanted more.