Chapter 16

Sixteen

I had been fetched.

Quite literally. Moone, my dire wolves’ matriarch, had come into my office, grabbed my wrist with her teeth, and pulled me out of my chair. I knew better than to try and argue with her. Moone was so old she’d watched after me as a toddler, and if she decided I was going somewhere, I had no other option but to go. She’d grab my collar and drag me along if she had to.

This time, I was glad to be fetched.

Moone had dragged me straight to the tavern, and the second I was close enough, I was able to pick out Jake’s voice without a problem. Mostly because he was shouting at the top of his lungs.

“Wait a damn minute!” His yell echoed out the open doorway, raucous laughter like a chorus to his words. “Ya damn cheaters! Put that card back on the table.”

“He caught you!” Mina cackled like the little basket case she was.

Moone let go of me and I was finally able to straighten and see with my own eyes what they were doing. The smell hit me first, the alcohol almost overpowering, which was never a good sign. Then, once I was inside the door, I realized the smell was even worse.

Jake, Mina, Grandpa Hawes, and at least three other people were all gathered around the table with a deck of cards in front of them. Drinks were half-empty, a snack plate was demolished, and I had to ask myself: self, what the hell were you thinking? You know Mina has lunch with her grandfather every day, you know Grandpa Hawes can’t be trusted with new people to corrupt, and still you let her take off with Jake.

Well, safe to say Jake had just got a beginner’s course on how our alcohol was different from his. Or similar, I didn’t know yet.

Jake, unaware of my entrance, was still on a roll. “You think I don’t have eyes, old man? I saw that!”

Ah, they were playing sneak. The main objective of the game was to hide as many cards as possible up your sleeve. Anything you could hide there without being noticed by another player for a full round was yours to keep. Highest score won. Grandpa Hawes could be a ruthless player, so it was impressive Jake was able to keep up with him. Even while this drunk, no less.

Still, it was late, and Jake was not to be left alone—he was leaning dangerously to the left and only his hand on the table kept him upright. Better to call an end to this and cart him home.

“All right, party’s done. Mina, you and Grandpa Hawes go sober up and sleep this off.”

Mina craned her neck comically around and stared at me for a long second. “Theon?”

If she was so drunk she could barely recognize me, then they were in worse shape than I thought. “That’s me.”

“Jake can really drink,” she informed me, as proud of him as a mother would be of her brood.

Jake stabbed a finger in her direction. “Don’t you dare blame this on me. I was trying to keep up with you.”

“And you managed it!”

Jake had no idea that for a human to drink as much as these two and stay upright was an impressive feat. Theon wasn’t about to elaborate. He doubted Jake would be able to remember any of this tomorrow, anyway.

“All right, all right. Mina, get you and your grandfather back home. You can do that, right?”

She gave me a salute. “I absolutely can.”

I doubted that. I’d have to send Moone with them to make sure it happened.

Right now, my priority was Jake. I turned back to him only to find him staring up at me with this bewildered expression. There was no telling what went through the mind of a drunk person, so I didn’t even try to guess.

“What?”

“Something’s afoot,” he stated, sure of himself.

I had no idea what he meant. “And this is a hand…?”

He laughed like I was being funny—bright and airy, without a care in the world. The sound riveted me. I couldn’t help but stare at him. I’d never seen Jake like this before. He smiled, he was pleasant, and he’d been personable with people, but such unbridled delight and laughter? It wasn’t something I’d seen. This was what he looked like when happy?

Could I make him this happy without alcohol to see him laugh like this again?

“Hey, hey, Theon? Should she be drinking while she’s on fire?”

The question startled me. I whipped about only to find Mina had dumped alcohol on her skin and set it on fire with the lantern. It was her usual drunken trick, but it didn’t always go as planned. As in, she’d burned her tunic off before. Swearing, I threw a water spell at her to put the fire out.

“Awwww!” she whined at me. “I was having fun!”

“For the love of the gods, Mina,” I said with a groan, head flopping to the ceiling mostly because I was praying for patience, “please develop a different, less dangerous drunken habit.”

“But I like fire!”

Why the hell was I surrounded by so many pyros? I didn’t deserve this, dammit.

Right, time to retreat. “Moone! They’re all yours.”

Moone gave a long-suffering sigh. Better her than me at this point. I’d be tempted to drown Mina.

Jake was not steady on his feet even with a table to support him, so I didn’t even consider letting him walk back. Instead, I got his arms around my neck and hoisted him onto my back.

“Whoa!” Jake hastily grabbed on, then laughed. “You strong, bruh.”

Was the “bruh” a compliment? “Thanks.”

I didn’t linger, as that was beyond dangerous in this situation—I’d get roped back into helping. I put pep into my step and got out the door as quickly as I could, heading back toward the castle. Jake didn’t give one word of protest. In fact, he seemed to be…uh…undressing me?

“Jake?” What the hell was he doing?

“You’re seriously all muscle.”

His hand slipped under the collar of my shirt, over my collarbone, caressing what he could reach. It had been so very, very long since another had touched me, I damn near swallowed my tongue due to the flash of desire that slammed into me. My feet faltered for a second, my focus gone. I was hyperaware of the man riding on my back, felt his every breath linger over my skin.

“Mmm.” Jake’s nose grazed the column of my neck in a light caress.

My blood quickened in response, mouth going dry.

He’s drunk, he doesn’t know what he’s doing, he’s drunk, he doesn’t know what he’s doing, he’s drunk?—

“God, you smell good,” Jake murmured. “Makes me want to take a bite.”

How could this man be so inherently sensual that even when he was dead drunk, he turned me into a horny teenager in two seconds flat? I was a grown man, dammit. I shouldn’t be this easily tempted.

I was going to get hard, right here on the street, with all these witnesses present and…and…

I didn’t think. I just started jogging for the castle. Like hell would I set myself up for that disaster.

Jake laughed, that delighted childlike laugh from before. “Wheeeee!”

The mix of adorable and sensual should not have worked, but it did. All too well. I’d lose sanity if I stayed next to Jake in this state. I needed to get to his room quickly and get someone else to take care of him. Right now, I was not to be trusted.

The road leading up to the castle wasn’t that long, but it felt like a panic dream where no matter how fast you ran, you never quite made it. Eventually, I did, and I didn’t stop until I was all the way up on the second floor.

“Bed!” Jake sounded excited.

I knew why he was excited. He was going to be mad and disappointed in a second. No way in hell was I going into that room with him. I did not need a bed readily at hand, thank you.

I opened his door and set him down gently. All right, all I had to do was shove him into his room and then call for someone else to pour water down him.

From the corner of my eye, I saw him lunge for me and I quickly evaded, spinning free, putting myself at his back.

“No!” Jake scolded, mouth puckered up in a scowl. “Bad reflexes!”

This man. What was I supposed to do with him? “Jake.”

Jake snapped to rigid attention, which was rather ruined by him leaning heavily to the side. “Right here!”

Stop. If you keep acting that cute, I’m going to lose what grip I still maintain on my sanity. “You are drunk.”

“Super drunk!” He lost his at attention stance as he giggled.

“So we can’t do…uh…anything.”

His laughter died and he glared at me. “How dare you thwart me with logic. I won’t forget this.”

At that moment, salvation appeared. My housekeeper popped onto the landing, confusion all over her face. “My lord, what’s wrong with Master Jake?”

“He’s very drunk?—”

Jake punched a fist in the air. “That I am!”

“—and needs your assistance,” I finished somewhat desperately. “Please see to him?”

“Yes, of course. Come here, Master Jake.”

Jake protested as she grabbed him by the waist and frog-marched him into his room. “But I want Theon to play sexy nurse!”

I didn’t wait for his door to close. I darted into my room, shutting the door and putting my back to it. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d been this aroused. I felt like I’d sprinted across my entire land, that’s how hard and harsh my breath was. I could still feel the phantom heat of Jake’s body against my back, like he’d never left.

Swearing, I jerked my pants open and shoved a hand inside. I’d need to take care of my erection before I could even think of going back downstairs.

One thing was for sure. Jake was never drinking again.

After a full night’s sleep,I felt more charitable about the whole experience. Mostly because of the upside: I had definite proof Jake found me attractive. Now, if sober Jake could just remember that, I might gain some headway in approaching him.

I shaved, dressed, then went next door to see if Jake was still abed. If he had kept up with Mina and Grandpa Hawes, I anticipated he was terribly hungover and perhaps trying to sleep the day away.

I gave the door a very light tap. “Jake?”

“Go ’way,” came a mumbled response with a bit of whine mixed in. “I hate everything.”

Ah. As expected. “If you come with me, I can take you to the magical place where hangover cures are made.”

A digestive pause. “Is this place outside?”

“Sadly, yes, but it’s right outside the kitchen door. Not far.”

“Do I have to wear pants?”

“Afraid that’s also a yes.”

Another digestive pause. Then a muttered “Dammit.”

I heard rustling sounds, fabric rubbing against fabric, then the soft pad of his bare feet against the floor. Daring to open the door, I peeked around the frame. Jake did not look like his normal chipper self, to say the least. His platinum hair was in all directions, eyes bloodshot, and he had a sallow cast to his skin. He looked every bit as hungover as he likely felt.

He had managed to put pants on, at least. I went to him, snagging his boots as I walked, and encouraged him to sit down again so I could put boots on him. I didn’t want him walking outside barefooted.

Jake let me lift his feet and put boots on, all without comment for a long moment.

“Did you bring me back?”

“I did.” I glanced up at him, wondering if he remembered something of yesterday. Or anything, really.

“Was I really drunk?”

“You kept up with Mina, so yes, you were incredibly drunk.”

“Ah. That’s why I feel like shit.” He closed his eyes, then covered them with a hand. “Note to self: never try to keep up with her again.”

“I would appreciate it. So would your liver.” Standing, I offered an arm.

Jake took it, hand wrapped around my elbow, and he leaned against me as if needing the support. With how fragile he appeared this morning, he likely did. I didn’t mind having him close and cuddly like this.

We made our way downstairs, careful and slow, as I didn’t want him hurt in any way while I tried to get him help. Jake was more coordinated at least, so he didn’t stumble while we walked. I didn’t breathe easy, however, until we’d crossed the kitchen’s small courtyard and gotten him to the apothecary building.

The single-room building was already filled with the smells and sounds of someone cooking. Then again, Grandma Olive didn’t really sleep as much anymore. She would often be up late or early mixing up something in her workspace.

The door was propped open, likely to help clear out the air, so I took advantage and maneuvered Jake and myself right through it.

Grandma Olive sat on her stool in front of a pot, mixing it with a slow, steady rhythm. She glanced up with an enigmatic smile as we entered.

“Here comes the first one, I see.”

“I’m sorry?”

“Heard I had some drunkards likely to see me this morning.” Her smile grew wry. “Figured I might as well make something up fresh. Sit him down, Your Grace. I’ll take care of him.”

I had a thousand things to do this morning and no time to spend caring for Jake, despite what my instincts insisted on. I sat him down at the worktable as directed, then hovered with indecision.

“Go,” she said more sternly. “I don’t need you hovering.”

I might have outranked her, but I knew better than to argue. “All right. Call if you need me.”

“I certainly will.”

We both knew she wouldn’t, but again, arguing wouldn’t benefit me. I shrugged, gave Jake a very gentle pat on the shoulder, and left him there. Grandma Olive would do far more to help than I would, that was true, and I had to have certain paperwork done if we were to leave in the next day or so.

Damn paperwork.

I’d go, but I’d come back at lunch to check on him. See if I didn’t.