Chapter 7

Chapter 7

The sun felt wonderful on Eleanor's skin. Its warmth had sunk into her body, down to her very bones, and made her giddy with comfort. It was like those moments when one gets under a blanket and shivers out of pure happiness.

"You look content," Julia commented. "You haven't stopped smiling."

"I love the sun and being in nature again," Eleanor replied. "It's not the same in London. Too much noise."

Several days after the play, Aunt Helen thought a drive outside London was the perfect thing after spending time in a busy city. Eleanor suggested a picnic and making a day of it, to which her aunt and brother readily agreed. Grant took it a step further and said they should invite Julia and her mother. Eleanor would have done that anyway, but Grant had beaten her to it. He had never been one to initiate time with the Huxley family, yet he seemed eager to have Julia and her mother join them for the day. While she appreciated that he treated someone she loved so well, something told her it had nothing to do with her friendship. Something else was brewing.

"How long do you think we have before they tell us to get out of the sun?" Julia asked. "We're not even wearing our bonnets."

"Aunt Helen brought champagne and punch," said Eleanor. "The punch is rather potent—her own special mixture. Fortunately, it's only a bottle of it, but my aunt and your mother will be giggling for the next few hours. They won't worry about our bonnets for a little while."

"But I should probably wear mine in a minute or so," said Julia. "I'll turn a terrible shade of red, and you'll look all lovely and golden. It's hardly fair. You already have hair like spun gold."

"And you have everything else," Eleanor retorted. "Someone should create a cream that protects our skin from the sun."

"Why not you?" Julia asked. "I'm sure you could create something."

"I'm not a chemist, and I do not have much knowledge of plants," Eleanor pointed out.

"Yes," Julia corrected. "You do not have this knowledge yet. I fully believe you could create something for us, and we can sell it and make a lot of money."

Eleanor grinned. "Then we could buy a large estate and live together," she said. "I'm surprised you remember our dream about being wealthy and living together. We never did decipher how we would do that before we came of age. Now, it's all about getting married. Why is everyone obsessed with marriage?"

"Perhaps we should simply accept that it's the only path for us," said Julia. "Rather accept it than fight against the inevitable. That way, we can still be happy. However, some women sincerely wish to be married."

"That's lovely as long as they find a good man to marry," said Eleanor. "If it's not a love match and the man isn't decent, marriage is torturous. My parents were twin souls, and Aunt Helen's husband was a good man she grew to love. Not all married women are that fortunate."

Julia's shoulders slumped forward as she sighed. "That's precisely what I'm worried about," she said. "A handsome face does not equate with a good heart. Unfortunately, my freedom to choose will come to an end soon. I'm twenty-three and unmarried—it's worrying for my parents."

Many would think Julia had many eligible men asking for her hand, and they would be right. However, she also wanted a love match, so she had refused every proposal since her first Season.

"You just do not wish to settle," Eleanor told her. "There is nothing wrong with that."

"There is if your parents have an unmarried daughter while other daughters her age are married," said Julia. "I think I might have to settle eventually. I'll be fine if I could just marry a good man."

"Do you want me to help you?" Eleanor asked. "I'm a good judge of character. Tell me who has caught your interest, and I will raise my antennae. Two meetings will be enough to decide if they're worthy of you."

Julia smiled. "I appreciate that, but you're a silly goose. You have wonderful judgment when it comes to everyone else but yourself."

Eleanor rolled her eyes and rolled onto her belly. "Do not start with that. Please," she added.

She knew precisely what her friend would say. Julia believed Eleanor's view of what others thought about her was skewed. It wasn't.

Many years ago, when Eleanor grew more aware of her body and was getting used to the changes that came with womanhood, she was undoubtedly self-conscious about herself and sensitive to anyone commenting on her body. Her mother took her to a tea party with other girls to hopefully make more friends and help her come out of her shell. Eleanor had always been a shy child, but she quickly warmed up to people who showed a genuine interest in her. Unfortunately, the girl who hosted the tea party took an almost immediate dislike to her and convinced the other girls to taunt her about her thick lips, freckles, and pudgy body. That shattered Eleanor's perception of her body forever.

Over time, she grew out of her shell and became more sociable, but she still preferred her own company or spending time with her family. It took a long time for Eleanor to open up to Julia, though. Eleanor knew her from childhood, but they were never close friends. Soon after the tea party, they met by chance during a summer at Brighton Beach and surprisingly enjoyed spending time together. Eleanor believed that was the end of it once summer was over, but Julia regularly sent her letters for the next year. Her family eventually moved to the same area, and Julia continued to show her sincerity. They soon became inseparable, and Eleanor was content to have just one wonderful friend. Julia was also the one who comforted her after her parents' deaths and even slept in the same bed when she had nightmares about the carriage accident.

After a moment, Julia lay beside Eleanor and propped her head on her hand. "Talk to me," she said. "You always refuse to say what's on your mind whenever we talk about what you think about yourself. No amount of telling you how beautiful you are seems to change this low opinion of yourself."

Eleanor sighed. "I do not have a low opinion of myself," she said, not meeting her friend's eyes. "I know I'm intelligent and a good person. However, you want me to believe something about my appearance that I disagree with. I've come to terms with how I look, and I'm happy with myself. I do not need anyone's validation. I just want to be myself and not feel the need to please others just because it's expected."

"You know that I adore everything about you," Julia replied. "Everything. You know I would never try to change you. I just wonder what you see when you look in the mirror. You're one of the most beautiful women I have ever seen, but you don't see yourself that way."

"Julia, please," Eleanor begged. She didn't want to discuss her past. Some moments were better off pushed to the back of her head. "This is a subject we'll never agree upon. Why don't we just enjoy the day?"

"Very well," Julia reluctantly agreed. "I need cake."

She rose to her knees and opened one of the baskets they had packed for the picnic. Eleanor had insisted she wanted a blanket and basket for her and Julia, and her aunt, Mrs. Huxley, and Grant could share another. Grant had tried to insist he join them, but Eleanor had put her foot down. That had made him uncharacteristically annoyed, but he gave in.

Julia unpacked the rest of their food, having only taken out the lemonade and some fruit. On the blanket, a feast of cheese, cold meat, bread rolls, pies, and cakes was spread. The kitchen had spared no effort to ensure a sumptuous picnic that would last them the entire day.

"Why do our cakes look prettier than the other basket?" Julia asked as she cut into a decorated pound cake.

One of the chefs had piped pretty flowers and the words, ‘Enjoy your picnic' on the top. Eleanor smiled, knowing precisely which chef it was.

"Jean-Pierre knows I like pretty things," she said. "He always goes the extra mile for me."

"People always tend to do things for you," Julia remarked.

Eleanor shrugged. "I'm just friendly and kind. I treat everyone with respect, regardless of who they are. I see no reason to treat people differently merely because one was fortunate to be born into a wealthy family and the other wasn't. No one is superior to another."

"That is a dangerous belief to have, my dear friend," said Julia. "Not many people take kindly to someone trying to disrupt the social divide."

"A man-made social divide," Eleanor pointed out. "It wasn't God-given. A king chosen by the people decided to use his power to give some loyal subjects a title. Duke, marquess, earl, viscount, and baron are all man-made."

"That may be, but we didn't steal from anyone," said Julia. "Surely that counts for something."

"Didn't steal from anyone?" Eleanor repeated. "Our ancestors were given land and exploited the poor to fatten their pockets. Taxes and forcing peasants to work the land made us wealthy. Yes, we have profited by being born into these families, but the least we can do is try to help those less fortunate. Our families created our wealth on their backs, after all."

Eleanor regularly used her pin money to help others, be it paying their rent or buying food, clothing, or other necessary supplies. Grant disapproved because he believed their contribution to various charities was enough, but Eleanor didn't believe anything could ever be enough for centuries of suffering, not until all people were treated equally and were given the opportunity to build wealth for themselves and not only others.

"This is why men do not want intelligent women," Julia said, laughing. "They question everything."

"These men are the ones with weak minds and not men at all," said Eleanor. "A man is someone who isn't threatened by a woman's intelligence. He is confident in his own abilities and doesn't see the need to control others to feel powerful."

"Well, that doesn't leave many true men," Julia commented.

"Precisely," said Eleanor. "I do not see how we're meant to get married when there are not enough true men to go around. A woman is better off being a spinster."

"Don't say that too loudly, or I'll never hear the end of it from Mama," Julia begged. "Spinster is a dirty word in our household. She doesn't believe that beautiful women should be spinsters. Attractive women have prospects. They have no excuse not to find a suitable man and marry them."

"Only because she was taught that terrible belief," Eleanor told her. "You do not have to believe it, and you do not need to teach it to your daughters one day."

"My daughters will have their Aunt Eleanor to teach them to be strong women," said Julia, bumping shoulders with her. "I want them to be as wonderful as you, so I hope we always live near each other. I'll even tell my future husband to move wherever you go."

Eleanor smiled. "Do not be silly. Your husband will grow to despise me."

"Never," said Julia. "Unless I chose the wrong man, but that would be your fault because you will have the final say on all my suitors."

Eleanor raised her eyebrows. "Then I suppose I need to start a journal of all the men you've shown some interest in."

The most recent was Lord Richard, but as soon as she thought about him, his brother came to mind. Eleanor had thought about the duke quite a bit since the play. She had hoped that Julia might mention the brothers, but she had strangely been silent about them. Julia always talked about the men pursuing her or those who caught her eye, and Eleanor was confident she liked Lord Richard at least a little.

"This cake is delicious," Julia muttered, reaching for another slice. "Would you like one? I would feel better if you ate some with me, or I might feel like a glutton."

"One big slice will do me just fine, but the plum cake," she said. Eleanor waited a few heartbeats before she said what was on her mind. "So, what did you think about Lord Richard and his brother?"

Julia glanced at her with a smile. "I wondered when you would ask that question," she said. "Just a moment. I need my cake and a fresh glass of lemonade for this conversation. I have been waiting for it for days."

"You never said anything," Eleanor accused.

"Because I wanted you to mention the spark between you and the duke," Julia explained. "Now, just wait a moment. Let me settle down."

Eleanor gulped. "A spark?"

She hadn't thought she was that obvious about her interest, but Julia also implied the duke was interested.

Julia nodded. "One moment."

Eleanor sat up while her friend quickly filled two plates with cake and fruit and poured herself a lemonade before sitting beside her. Julia's body appeared to be brimming with excitement at the thought of their conversation, which made Eleanor wonder how she had managed to hold her tongue all this time.

"So, about the duke," she finally said. "Tell me, what do you think about him?"

"If you will tell me what you think about Lord Richard," Eleanor countered.

Julia smiled. "No, no, no, my dear friend," she said. "This is about you because a man catching your attention is like...well, I don't know what it's like, but it's rare. In fact, it has never happened before." Julia widened her eyes. "It has never happened before!"

"Hush!" Eleanor cried, looking at the others. Fortunately, they were too engrossed in their conversation. "They'll hear you and wonder what we're talking about. I do not want my aunt or brother catching wind of this."

"Oh, so there is something to catch?" Julia asked with a twinkle in her eyes. "You have to tell me everything!"

"But you were right there," Eleanor pointed out. "There isn't much to tell."

"I can't see into your mind," Julia said. "What were you thinking while you spoke with him? Did you feel a flutter in your belly? Did he fit the description of a true man?"

Eleanor didn't know how much she was willing to admit. It was all still new to her. She bought a little time by stuffing her mouth with a big piece of cake. She chewed the dense sweetness of the cake and mentally kicked herself for not asking the kitchen to include whipped cream.

"Stop stalling, and don't you dare take another bite of that cake," Julia warned. "I am your best friend. You cannot keep this information from me."

Eleanor sighed and swallowed. "You're my only friend," she said. "I suppose I do not know what to think of the duke or how I feel about him. I think I was amazed that he listened to me. Honestly, I thought he would eventually lose interest and turn to you, but he didn't. I found that strange."

"You are daft at times!" Julia cried. "You always think men are only interested in me. The truth is that you never look up long enough to notice that they're looking at you. Most of them are too wary because you so easily dismiss or reject them."

Eleanor looked at her friend like she had grown two heads. "How can you...? No, I'm not going to entertain this. We were talking about the Duke of Devonshire. I think he's lovely, intelligent, and handsome, and I enjoyed talking with him. He listened to me. That was what set him apart from other men."

Eleanor didn't mention that her heart had fluttered when he had stared at her with his intense, deep blue eyes. It was almost like he was looking into her very soul, or at least trying to. The gesture had been intimate and unlike anything she had ever experienced.

"I suppose that's a good start," said Julia. "I wish I knew more about him. I asked my mother about him, and she mentioned he's a recluse."

"They did hint at that," said Eleanor. "But why? A man like him has the world at his feet."

"He's a widower—that might explain why he prefers to keep to himself," said Julia. "He must have loved his wife."

Eleanor's heart clenched with empathy. She knew what it felt like to lose loved ones. Her parents' deaths had devastated her to the point of seeing life as useless. It took months to come out of the melancholic state.

"Would you marry a widower?" Julia asked. "If you were interested enough, would you marry the duke?"

Eleanor didn't know what to say. If she was genuinely interested in someone, it wouldn't matter if they were a widower. However, opening her heart to someone seemed terrifying. She had already resigned herself to spinsterhood and didn't know if she wished to deviate from that. Besides, she didn't believe she had a chance with the duke, no matter how interested he appeared. Despite his age, he was terribly handsome and would have his pick of eligible women. Eleanor would be low on that list.

"I do not think I have what it takes to marry a duke," she finally replied. "I prefer my life the way it is now."

"Oh, Eli," said Julia, taking her hand. "Why can you not see yourself the way I do?"

Beauty was in the eye of the beholder. Her family and best friend might believe she was pretty, but that didn't mean others did. She was perfectly fine with that, but just a little part of her wished that someone as wonderful as the duke could believe she was someone special.