Chapter 25

CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE

" E liza?" Thalia cautiously stepped outside, scanning the modest garden for her maid. She had not been upstairs, nor had she been in the kitchen. Thalia did not necessarily need Eliza at precisely this moment, but she had begun to worry after the young woman. For the last several days, Eliza had begun to disappear more and more throughout the day, returning with red-rimmed eyes and a dejected demeanor.

"Eliza?" Thalia tried again. She was about to turn back inside when a small sniffle to her right made her pause.

Thalia sighed, pressing her eyes closed for a moment. She knew what this was about. And she had already let it go on for far too long.

Carefully, Thalia rounded the corner of the manor and found Eliza nestled up under a tree, head in her hands, weeping.

At her approach, Eliza shot up, wiping furiously at her cheeks. But Thalia motioned for her to sit. "May I join you?" she asked gently.

Eliza nodded, cheeks red. "I am so sorry, my lady, did you need me?"

"No. I was merely worried about you." Thalia settled onto the ground beside her maid. They had known one another for a long time, she realized. Eliza had been a friend as much as a maid to her in all that time. "I fear that you have been out here a lot lately. Doing this," she added, reaching out to wipe away one of Eliza's tears.

As fresh tears welled in her eyes, Eliza could only nod.

Thalia sighed. "Does this have to do with Thomas?"

Startled, Eliza's head shot up. Her eyes were wide in fear. "I beg your pardon, my lady? What do you mean?"

"There is no reason to fear," Thalia assured her. "You are not in trouble." Thalia sighed and leaned her head back against the tree behind her. "It is presumptuous of me, I know, but I am worried that you have been upset the last few days because of him."

Eliza's cheeks burned as she ducked her head. "He aggravates me so," she admitted with a sad laugh, sniffling and wiping her nose on her sleeve. "But I do love him, my lady."

Thalia felt a sharp pang in her chest. If only Eliza knew how much she identified with that statement. Or just how irritating the man that Thalia was in love with could be.

Their situations were perhaps not so different. And equally as dismal. But there was something that one of them could do.

"You do not have to worry," Eliza assured Thalia. "I won't cause you any trouble. I'm almost done crying over him, I'm sure. And I will do my best to do all my work well in the meantime. It is just –" Eliza let out a little sob and pressed her hand over her mouth.

Thalia reached out to take Eliza's hand in hers. "I'm sorry, my lady," Eliza murmured, catching her breath as sobs shook her frail little body. "I did not know it was possible to miss someone this much. I do not know if I shall ever see him again."

Her chest tight as she fought off her own despair, Thalia gently pressed Eliza's hand. "You truly love him?"

Eliza nodded. "As much as I know of love, I do. I may be na?ve about many things, but I do believe that we are in love. And that he loves me."

Thalia took a deep breath and stood. She held out her hand to Eliza. "Then you will not be parted from him."

Glancing up at her, Eliza hesitated. "I beg your pardon, my lady? I don't understand."

"I am sending you back to Seton Estate," Thalia informed her with a small, sad smile. Try as she might, she was having difficulty not letting her own situation cloud this happy moment. "My sister will have need of you, I am sure. I think you would be much better suited to continue working there."

"But, my lady, what will happen to you?"

"I will stay here and find another maid. Though I doubt she will be nearly as hard-working or as dear of a friend as her predecessor."

Thalia still held her hand out, waiting to help Eliza up. But in the next moment, Eliza was on her feet, squealing as she threw her arms around Thalia's neck. Thalia chuckled as she hugged Eliza in return.

"Oh, thank you, my lady," Eliza breathed, pulling back as the biggest smile spread across her face. "Thank you."

"You are most welcome."

As Thalia turned back toward the manor with Eliza, a young man appeared at the kitchen door. "Ma'am," he called, "there is someone here to see you. Should I ask him to meet you in the drawing room?"

Thalia tried not to grimace. Her new butler was rather inexperienced, but a woman in her position and social station could not complain. "Yes please," she replied. "And in future, please show our guests straight to the drawing room as soon as they arrive."

The young butler nodded eagerly. "I will show His Grace there immediately."

As he turned to go back in, Thalia's heart nearly leapt out of her chest. "Wait!" she called, hurrying to stop him. "Did you say His Grace was here?"

"Yes, ma'am. The Duke of Ravenwood."

Thalia swayed slightly, the blood rushing quickly from her head. "No. He, he cannot – I am unable to see him at present," she stammered.

Though her butler looked puzzled, to his credit he merely nodded. "I will inform him that you are engaged at present."

Her heart pounding in her chest, Thalia waited a moment for her butler to disappear and then quietly followed after him. She tucked herself along the wall of the hall, creeping forward so that she could only just see the front door. In it was the familiar figure who had haunted her dreams over the last several nights. In the doorway stood Benedict.

Thalia nearly gasped. How had he found her? Why had he come? What on earth was he doing here? And why did he think that Thalia would want to see him?

A hundred more such questions raced through her mind. But she stayed where she was. She had no intention of letting the duke into the manor, no matter what his excuse might be.

"Your Grace," Thalia's butler began. "I regret to inform you that Lady Thalia is unable to receive you at present."

Thalia peeked a little farther around the corner to watch Benedict's reaction. She expected him to nod and take his leave, or perhaps ask that the man inform her that he had called.

Instead, Benedict stayed right where he was. "How long will it be until she is able to see me?" he asked. "I am happy to wait."

The butler shot an uneasy glance over his shoulder. "I, er, I am very sorry, Your Grace, but I do not believe she can see you today."

"But she is here?" Benedict took a step forward, his body angled as if he were ready to push his way inside.

"I am afraid I cannot say."

"You do not understand," Benedict pressed. "Have you informed her that it is the Duke of Ravenwood here to see her?"

"I have, Your Grace."

"Just now?"

"Ye-" The butler caught himself, realizing that he had already answered the duke's previous question.

"If she is here, then I insist she see me. I have important news. I must speak with her urgently." Benedict's hand was on the doorframe and Thalia felt certain that, in a moment more, he would try and force his way inside.

She knew she should do something, but she was frozen where she was. She could not understand what was happening. Had there been an accident? Was Selina or her father hurt? No, that could not be the case. Benedict looked agitated, but not nearly enough to show that some terrible tragedy had struck.

"Please, inform her that I must speak with her," Benedict insisted again. When the butler hesitated, Benedict took another step inside. "Lady Thalia!" he cried, his voice booming through the empty halls. "Lady Thalia!"

"Your Grace, I really must insist –" the butler sounded fearful, desperately trying to corral the rogue duke.

As Benedict pushed his way in, Thalia was finally forced into action. She stepped out from her hiding spot and faced the intruder. "You have been asked to leave, Your Grace," she insisted, trying to appear far more in control than she felt.

At the sight of her, Benedict's furrowed brow softened. Was that a smile tugging at the corner of his lips? "Thalia," he breathed, sounding relieved.

Thalia's cheeks went red. "How dare you! You may not speak to me like that," she thundered, astounded at his audacity. "Nor may you force your way into my home. I will ask you to leave once more and if you do not, I shall be forced to ask my servants to escort you from the manor."

The butler stepped forward, doing his best to intimidate the duke. Thalia reminded herself to thank him later.

"Lady Thalia," Benedict murmured, correcting himself. "Please. I only wish to speak with you. I mean you no harm."

Thalia scoffed. She did not know where she found the boldness to do so. "That is quite untrue. Why, simply seeing you –" She pressed her lips together. She had said too much.

But Benedict's eyes gleamed, understanding what she left unsaid. The hand at his side twitched as he raised it, looking as if he were about to reach out and touch her. "Please," he murmured. "If you hear me out now, you may send me away afterward if you wish, and I swear I shall never bother you again."

She knew it was a bad idea. She knew nothing good could come of it. But for some reason, she nodded. "If you will join me in the drawing room," she offered, gesturing for him to step into the room to his right.

Benedict nodded. As he moved, the butler came to stand beside Thalia. "Ma'am?"

"Stay out here, please. I will be all right," she assured him. "But when I call for you, please escort His Grace from the manor."

The somewhat rattled young man nodded. Thalia could not help but think that this was not exactly what he had expected from his first week of employment. She would have to find a way to thank him later.

But first…

Thalia took a deep breath and followed after Benedict.

She found the duke standing in the middle of the room, shifting his weight from foot to foot. She had never seen him so agitated. At her entrance, he spun to face her.

"Your sister has rejected me," he began, the words spilling quickly forth.

Despite everything, Thalia's heart broke just a little more. So that was why he was here. How did she not see it before? Selina had rejected him, as she said she would, and now he was coming to Thalia to ask for her help in getting Selina to reconsider. As always, this was about her sister.

"I am aware," Thalia replied, forcing the words out through gritted teeth.

"She told you of her plan?" Benedict looked surprised for a brief moment and then nodded. "Of course."

"I trust my sister's decisions," Thalia pressed on, feeling the backs of her eyes sting in forewarning. The sooner she got him out of the house, the better. "If you have come here to ask that I have her reconsider –"

"What?" Benedict again looked taken aback. "What do you mean?"

Tears began to gather in her eyes as Thalia vainly tried to blink them away. When she spoke, her voice betrayed her sorrow. "Will you not leave me be?" she sobbed. "Why must you insist on torturing me further? Have you not done enough? Have you no shame, or will you continue to manipulate my feelings further?"

As the tears spilled down her cheeks, Benedict rushed forward, but Thalia stepped back to avoid his touch. "That is not – you misunderstand me," he protested gently.

"You do not wish to marry my sister then? After all this time?"

"No." Benedict tried again, finally managing to place two gentle hands on her shoulders. Thalia wanted to shake him off again, but she found she no longer had the strength. He saw now how hurt she was. He saw what a pathetic fool she was too: a spinster in love with a duke.

"I do not think I ever truly wanted to marry your sister," he began, and this only made Thalia sob harder.

"Then it was all for nothing?" she protested. "You put me through all of that for fun?"

"No. Thalia –" Benedict drew closer, pressing a hand to her cheek as he tried to stem the river of tears. "Please, I need to tell you something. I need you to hear me."

Shuddering, Thalia stared up at him helplessly. She did not pull away. The sooner he got it over with the better. She did not think her heart had any piece of it left for him to break.

Thalia was breaking his heart. Was this what he had done to her? His toying and teasing with her feelings as he tried in vain to keep his own at bay?

Benedict quickly gathered his thoughts. Whatever she expected him to say, she was wrong. The last thing he wanted to do was hurt her.

And he had spoken true – if she wished him to leave once he was done, he would. He would walk out that door and never return, no matter how much it hurt him.

"Thalia," he tried again, using her name in this intimate way as a desperate attempt to show her how close he felt to her, how dear he counted her. " You are the one I wish to marry."

Her eyes widened for a moment at that. Then her tears were renewed. She pushed him away. "Do not lie to me. Do not give me false hope," she cried. "I know full well that you would not marry me even if you wished to. Even if you could."

"That was before," Benedict pressed, stepping to try and catch her eye as she spun around for a means of escape. "I was a fool. I was the biggest of fools. I told myself that I would never marry for love because that was what ruined my parents' marriage. I believed that love would destroy a couple from the inside out."

Thalia hesitated, but Benedict continued, not willing to waste another moment. "But I did not understand. And I was afraid. When I realized how much you meant to me, I told myself that we could not be together. That I would end up hurting you. Or that society would not allow it. But I was wrong."

Benedict dropped to a knee before her, bearing his soul before the woman who had won his heart. "You told me that you loved me. In the gardens that night. And you left before I could tell you that I felt the same way. Since we last parted, I have realized that love is the only reason for marriage. Love is the only reason for living. And I love you, Thalia. I do not wish to live without you.

"I was prepared to marry your sister," he continued hurriedly, "just so that I might keep you close to me. If I could not marry you, then I still did not wish to be parted from you. But your sister saw right through me." He laughed, shaking his head. "It is the kindest thing she has ever done for me, refusing me like that. Because she made me realize that that, too, would have been a lie. Any life I live without you by my side is a lie, Thalia. Because I love you."

Thalia pressed a hand to her mouth, staring down at him with wide eyes. "You are beautiful," Benedict murmured, daring to reach out and take her hand between his. "You are wise and kind and the most intelligent woman I have ever met. Since the first time I saw you, I have not been able to keep you from my mind. You have plagued me day and night and I have loved every moment."

It was time. Benedict took a deep breath. "Tell me to leave now and I will. You will never see me again. But if you still love me, if I still have some place in your heart, then do not send me from you. Instead, Thalia, marry me. Marry me and become my wife."