Chapter 16

The next day or so proved to be a species of nightmare for Georgie. That she had brought this entirely on herself was no consolation at all.

It began the next morning, when the postponed carriage expedition took place. They visited the impressive ruins of Whitby Abbey, just a short drive away, and while they were there the conviction that the Duke was beginning to court Alice Templeton began to grow in Georgiana's mind. He had, as Alice herself had admitted, paid her very little attention before – barely more than common courtesy required – but now it was different. He rode beside the carriage in which she travelled, his dogs keeping pace easily with his horse, and by the time they reached their destination Mrs Templeton was wreathed in smiles, and Mary Debenham and her mother were looking sour enough to curdle milk. Alice, by contrast, appeared dazed, and perhaps a little frightened.

As they walked amid the ruins – Tam and Nico close at their heels, Alice with her hand on His Grace's arm, although she looked as though she would rather be anywhere else in the world with any other companion – Miss Spry drew Georgie aside on the clifftop and hissed in her ear, ‘What in heaven's name is he about? I had felt sure he was determined to pay his addresses to you. Did he not follow you into a private section of the library yesterday afternoon?'

‘He did,' she replied dully. ‘Then last night he came to my room again, and asked me to marry him. And I refused him.' She shrugged. ‘He warned me that he would be obliged to court one of the other ladies directly, despite what had passed between us. I told him I understood.'

‘Well, that is more than I do! Was he angry that you rejected him, and does this to punish you? I own I had not thought so poorly of him.'

‘I don't know,' said Georgie slowly. ‘I don't think so, but I can't be absolutely sure. Sometimes I feel I know exactly what he is thinking, and sometimes I cannot read him at all. After all, he must marry somebody; he has always made that perfectly clear. I asked him not to marry Mary Debenham, so I suppose I cannot blame him for this…'

‘You have the most extraordinary conversations!'

‘I know. He made me an offer, and began making love to me, and though I liked it excessively, all at once I knew that it would be sheer madness to accept him. I told him so. I told him that I feared if I accepted him I would either become a woman who was ruled by sensual pleasure and took lover after lover while her husband did the same, or – worse – I would fall in love with him, and his infidelity would destroy me. I don't want to be either of those people, Jane. Both paths lead to deep unhappiness and regret. I know that when I think of my mother, and what she would say to me if she were alive. I'm not sure he understood me, but do you?'

Miss Spry regarded her shrewdly. ‘I think I do. And I agree with you. You cannot live your life with someone who makes you lose a part of yourself, or whose seductive influence turns you into a woman you do not want to be. It would be madness, as you say.'

‘Thank you. May we talk of other things now? I know it was the right decision, but that does not make the results of it any easier to watch.'

‘Very well. But you do not think in all honesty that you are a little in love with him already? Otherwise why does it hurt you so?'

Georgie had asked herself this as she lay sleepless after he had left her last night, and had reached no conclusion beyond the obvious truth that to fall in love with such a man would be nothing short of utter folly. ‘I hope I am not. I certainly don't want to be. I told him there was nothing but lust between us; perhaps I was lying to myself. But does that not go to prove that I am right to reject him while I still have the strength to do so? Please, Jane, enough!'

‘I suppose it does. Well, I will not speak of my own affairs to distract you, for nothing has changed for me and nothing can be done while we remain in Yorkshire. Shall we talk of the weather, or take out our books and begin sketching these most imposing ruins, like the correct young persons we most emphatically are not?'

Georgiana said something extremely unladylike about the prospect of engaging in artistic pursuits just now, and her companion laughed and consoled her. ‘You must only endure this for a little longer. I understand we are to leave Whitby betimes and return to the Castle, so that Lady Blanche can help us sort out our costumes for the ball.'

‘Oh, God, the ball,' Georgiana blurted out. ‘I promised I would dance with him!'

‘It will present a very odd appearance if you do not,' said Miss Spry with robust good sense. ‘I do not care so much for the conventions of society – although, as we have established, I care more than I thought I did – but reflect on the fact that Miss Debenham and her mother are poisonous toads who plainly dislike you already, and if you give them the slightest reason to gossip it will cause you acute discomfort. If they thought you were avoiding the Duke, you know they would think to ask why, and who knows what conclusion they might leap to? You are uncomfortable enough as matters stand. It is only a little more to endure, and then it will all be over and done with. You need never see him again.'

‘That's true,' Georgie replied with rather a wan smile. The idea of never seeing the Duke again was somehow no great consolation. ‘We must leave the Castle as soon as we can after the ball, Jane. Even if I have to tell Louisa all in order to make it so.'

‘There will be no need. I will make sure we go just as soon as we are able to do so without appearing uncivil. I am impatient to return to London, and she knows it.'

‘Impatient to… to marry?'

‘Yes – well, no, to set my plan in motion, before I lose courage and change my mind, or he does, and repents of his very generous offer.'

‘I must admit I still don't fully understand why he has made it.'

Miss Spry said, ‘I can see why you might not. But he is a friend, a very rare and special friend to both Louisa and to me. We have found ourselves, the three of us, able to discuss things that I dare say not one in a thousand other people would ever find themselves speaking of. I do not love him, not in a romantic way, but I trust him completely. Or else I could never contemplate such a course for a moment.'

‘Trust,' said Georgie a little wistfully. ‘I can see how important that is.'