Prologue

PROLOGUE

" S hh, quiet," Lilian whispered as she and her brother, Matthew, padded across the forest floor. "Or do you want them to check on us already?"

He glanced back at the tree line shading them from their parents' line of sight. "I can't imagine they can hear us from here!"

"But they could. I don't know how you feel, but I'd rather not risk it."

He rolled his eyes but didn't say anything as they finally made it to the water. It was a small, clear stream filled with smooth rocks and small fish darting around. The pair shared a last grin and then raced into the cool water.

Matthew went in until the water was almost up to his knees. His shirt sleeves were rolled up to his elbows while he searched the riverbed for interesting rocks.

Lilian was a few feet downstream. She held her skirts above the water, feet sliding along the smooth stones on the bottom of the riverbed. When she made it to the center of the stream, she sighed, wiggling her toes into the mud. Closing her eyes, she turned her face towards the sun and just drank it all in.

As nice as this was, she was looking forward to finally going to London. Every year when they headed to London for the Season, she would watch Rachel get dressed in glamorous gowns before heading with Solomon to lavish balls where she just knew they danced and laughed the whole night through.

And this year, finally, she would get to join them.

Excitement thundered through her at the thought.

Suddenly, something smacked against her back, sending her towards the water. Her eyes flew open, a squeak of surprise slipping from her lips.

Just before the water rushed up to meet her, Matthew caught her by the shoulders, stopping her fall.

"Everything all right over there?" Their mother's voice came from the small table where she and Solomon, the Viscount Cooke, sat.

They were seated at the table they'd had set up just for the occasion. They were far closer together than would have been publicly acceptable, but in the privacy of their own home, they couldn't be bothered to worry about propriety. The pair seemed to radiate love and devotion even after decades together.

"Don't worry, Mother!" Lilian called. "I simply tripped on a root. You know how clumsy I can be."

She glared as Matthew turned red, narrowly holding back his laughter.

"Well, whatever you're doing, finish it up and come back over here. We should eat before it gets too much later."

"We'll be right there!"

Matthew helped steady her on her feet as they walked back to their shoes. "I'm sorry, I just couldn't resist!"

"You don't need to worry. I'm not mad at all." A grin creased her face. "We both know I'll get you back soon enough."

He laughed. "I look forward to seeing you try, Sister dear."

"Enjoy your pride while you can," she muttered to herself.

Once she'd laced back up her soft leather shoes, the pair made their way back to the table just as the food was being laid out.

They took their seats across from their parents and started getting their plates ready. Normally, they would have been served by members of staff, but Rachel wanted a quiet day with just the family. As they ate, they talked about what was to come.

"Do you feel ready to meet the ton, Lilian?" Rachel asked, sipping her tea.

"I think so, Mother. I've spent so long preparing for this."

"I know you have. You have nothing to worry about. You will do amazing."

"Enough serious talk," Solomon cut in with a bright smile. "Why don't you tell us some of the things you are most excited about?"

"All of it!" Lilian breathed, eyes shining at the very thought. "I want to meet everyone and make social calls. I want to promenade and of course, go to balls."

"Your first one is in a few weeks."

"I know! I simply can't wait! I have the perfect gown picked out!" she gushed, unable to keep the excitement out of her voice.

"Oh, do you? Which one is it?" Rachel asked.

"The white silk one with the pink and gold embroidery."

Rachel hummed. "I would have thought the blue one. Perhaps with some silver jewelry and accessories."

"That one is very nice, but white is very fashionable right now. It is imperative I make a good impression at my first ball. After all, it could be the first time I meet the man I will someday marry."

"That dress sounds like a lovely choice. You have nothing to worry about. I just know you will positively dazzle them all," Solomon said with a proud smile.

"Thank you, Father! I hope I'll make you all proud."

"Oh, my daughter, you already have. Just find someone who makes you as happy as your mother has made me."

Lilian smiled behind her tea.

Rachel took this as an opportunity to go on about everyone she was going to introduce Lilian to. With how social and outgoing the woman was, Lilian wouldn't be surprised if her dance card was full before they even finished lacing her into her gown for that first ball.

"Father," Matthew said. "When we're done eating, can we go for a walk?"

"I see no reason why—" His father's words were abruptly cut off, his face twisting into a mask of pain.

"Darling." Rachel pressed a hand to his arm. "Darling, what's wrong?"

He met her eyes and then fell onto the table.

Her scream pierced the air.

Lilian sprang into action. "Matthew, I'm going to go get the physician!"

Heart pounding, she raced from the garden down to the stables. She threw a saddle onto their fastest mare and rode as fast as her hooves could take them.

She raced down the cobblestone streets, the wind whipping her cinnamon hair out of the confines of the bun that held it back from her face.

Finally, she made it to the doctor's house. Hopping off the horse, she ran up to the door, pounding her knuckles against it hard enough to bruise.

A servant girl swung it open. "Miss Cooke! What are you doing here in such a state?"

"It's my father. I don't know what happened, but he needs help, fast."

"I'll go get Mr. Smyth. Come in, catch your breath."

She shook her head. "Please, just get the physician. I need to get back to my father as soon as possible."

"All right, I'll go get him."

The journey back was a blur. It felt like no time at all but also weeks before Lilian found herself pacing outside her parents' bedroom door. Her father and mother were inside with the physician while Matthew sat on a chair he'd pulled against the wall, his knee bouncing.

"It feels like they've been in there for a long time. Do you think he's all right?" she asked, chewing on her lip.

Before Matthew could reply, the door opened, and Rachel stepped out. "Your father has suffered from an apoplexy, but he's all right now. He's asking to see you. Come inside, you two."

The pair came inside, standing beside the bed. Solomon was tucked in bed, awake, looking exhausted and drawn.

"Is Father going to be all right?" Lilian asked, voice shaking.

"I'm going to be fine, my sweet girl." He forced a smile. "But I'm going to need some rest. I'm sorry, my dear, but I think it would be best if we pushed back your debut."

"Of course, Father. Whatever you need."

"I'm sorry. I know you must be disappointed. We'll make sure your debut is everything you deserve when the time comes."

She shook her head. "How could I even think of it at a time like this? All I care about is your well-being."

He waved her off. "You're young. You deserve to have your fun. It's important you find someone who can make you happy."

"I fail to see how waiting a year changes any of that."

"You're a good girl, Lilian."

Rachel smiled. "Why don't you and Matthew let your father rest? Don't worry, I'll stay with him."

They said their goodbyes and headed back into the hall.

Matthew chewed on his lip. "Do you think Father will be all right?"

Lilian forced a smile for her younger brother. "I know he will. The doctor won't let anything happen to him."

"Sorry about your debut," he muttered as they walked down the hall.

She shook her head. "I meant what I said. I don't care about that. All that matters right now is Father's health."

He nodded. "All right."

Lilian forced a yawn. "I'm rather tired from my ride into town. I think I'm going to go lie down for a while."

"Of course." They stopped outside her door. "I'll see you at dinner?"

Lilian nodded then slipped inside. Only once the door was closed behind her did she let her tears fall.

Emotions crashed over her in a turbulent storm. Her knees buckled, sending her crashing to the ground.

Her father could have died.

Her eyes burned, molten hot tears falling fast down her cheeks. Visions of him cold and still in a coffin flashed through her mind unbidden.

He was alive. He was safe. Her mother was beside him, and Lilian knew she wouldn't let anything happen to him.

Then the selfish disappointment crept in.

She'd been looking forward to her debut her whole life. She would finally be recognized by everyone around her as an adult. It was supposed to be her chance to find a love like the one her parents shared.

She'd spent so long preparing every gown, reticule, shoe, glove, fan, and hairpiece. Who knew if any of it would still fit or be fashionable by next year?

Then came the guilt.

Like a bucket of ice water dumped down her back, it was all she could feel. How could she think about that when her father was ill?

How selfish could she be to be upset about needing to wait a year to wear pretty dresses and go to parties? What kind of daughter would dare to think such a thing?

No, she didn't want it. She didn't want anything that would put more stress on him. She could be patient. She would wait as long as he needed her to.