Chapter 26

CHAPTER 26

T he last thing Agnes wanted to do was sit in the same room as the Countess of Reeds and pretend to be cordial. Especially not after their last encounter. But her mother had insisted that they needed the help of all the ladies—especially the ladies whose honor the ball would be in—for the planning. Considering the fact that the engagement ball was set to happen in three days, Agnes supposed it would be far easier for everyone if she lent her help.

She tried and failed to ignore Lady Reeds scathing glares. She sipped her tea, not missing the way Caroline shifted uncomfortably next to her. No doubt she also noticed her aunt's glares. Agnes would have been content to ignore it or face it how she wished, but she knew she had to temper her reaction so as not to upset her friend.

"What do you think, girls?" Mary asked, holding up to two flowers in either hand. "Lilies or peonies?"

"Peonies," Agnes and Caroline said at the same time.

"Lilies," Lady Reeds said despite the fact that no one had been addressing her.

Agnes set her tea down, not sparing the countess a glance because she knew the look she was bound to give her would be far from ladylike. "So peonies it is. Let us move on, shall we?"

"That is a dull choice," Lady Reeds protested with a sniff. "Perhaps you two should leave the preparations to us, who already know what we are doing."

"Now, Lady Reeds," Mary began but Agnes beat her to it.

"Is it not important for us to learn such things, especially since one of us will be a duchess in due time?"

"You're right," Lady Reeds agreed, though the sneer on her face did not seem very encouraging in the slightest. "You may leave then, Miss Agnes. Caroline will have to learn such skills for her role as duchess."

"It is true that Caroline could stand to learn from this," Agnes said in a calm tone of voice. "So peonies it is. I'm happy we are in agreement."

"Your insolence knows no bounds, does it?" Lady Reeds hissed.

"Not, it seems, when I am simply returning it in kind."

"Do you mean to say that I am the one being rude to you ? You do not know how to respect your elders!"

"I respect my mother and the dowager duchess a great deal," Agnes stated simply. She looked at her mother, not missing the mixture of resignation and amusement shining in her eyes.

Lady Reeds shot to her feet. She curled her hands into fists at her sides, shaking in her anger. To Agnes' surprise, the next voice she heard was not the shrill hiss of the countess but Caroline's soft yet firm one.

"Aunt, please, we have much to do," she said. "We have decided on peonies and there is no need to go back and forth about it."

Silence met her words. Stunned silence. Even the dowager duchess, who had been quietly sipping her tea on the other end of the drawing room, looked over at Caroline.

Caroline flushed now that she was the subject of everyone's attention. She tried busying herself with her tea with shaky hands, avoiding everyone's eyes.

Agnes felt pride stretch through her body. Caroline had never stood up to her aunt before. Even though it wasn't with any force, the mere fact that she did was enough to make Agnes wonder if she was finally developing the strength to stand up for herself.

And if she could do so with flowers, then perhaps she would be able to do so with the man she loved.

"I am inclined to agree," Mary interjected, smiling softly at Caroline. "Prudence, let us move on, shall we? There is so much we need to get done in so little time."

Lady Reeds sank back into her seat with a huff. "Why we need to have this ball on such short notice, I will never understand. I doubt anyone will even be able to attend."

"Well perhaps not many people we know in London," Mary agreed. "Though we have received word from a number of my close friends and families that they will begin making their way."

"Then what is the point? This would be much better if it were organized for later in the season when everyone has time to prepare themselves. Us, included."

For once, Agnes was inclined to agree with the countess. Though she would much rather stick a bar of soap down her throat than admit it out loud.

"I do not know understand it myself," said Mary. "I only know that His Grace approached me about it early this morning and asked if it was possible."

"And of course, you said yes," Agnes surmised with a smile.

Mary returned it with a wink. "What else was I to say? Anything else would cause His Grace to doubt my party-planning skills. And we cannot have that, now can we?"

"He approached you?" Lady Reeds pressed. "Why would he approach you and not me? He is to marry Caroline, after all, so I would assume he'd approach the lady who will be giving her away on her wedding day."

"I believe Uncle will be giving me away," Caroline murmured. It was soft but everyone heard it. While everyone else—save for the dowager duchess who had gone back to ignoring them—smiled, Lady Reeds scowled.

"You know what I mean!" she snapped. "I think it is quite odd and rather rude that His Grace did not think to ask me to attend to the engagement party."

"Why don't you take it up with the duke then?" Agnes challenged.

Lady Reeds narrowed her eyes at Agnes as if she couldn't quite tell what her aim was. At last, she said, "Perhaps I shall. I shall let him know my exact thoughts on this. The duke should make sure that?—"

"That what?"

Right on cue, Agnes' heart went to her throat. It took every ounce of her strength not to shoot to her feet and run into Johnathan's arms as he strode into the room with long strides.

Lady Reeds faltered. "Oh, that I, well I thought that…"

"My aunt thought it rather odd that you did not ask her to plan the engagement wedding."

Agnes was growing more and more impressed by Caroline every time she spoke. She caught Caroline's pleased smile, partially hidden behind the rim of her teacup, and knew that Caroline was only growing more confident in herself.

"Oh?" was all Johnathan said as he sank into the vacant spot next to Agnes. Tingles rushed through her body at his nearness. He didn't touch her, didn't even make any indication that his choice to sit next to her had been a deliberate one. But the fact that he chose to do so rather than choosing the spot next to Caroline was very telling.

"It was just a passing thought, Your Grace," Lady Reeds said quickly. "It is nothing that needs to be paid any attention to."

"Very well then," Johnathan said, reaching for a scone. "I shall take your word for it."

Agnes could see the laughter in his eyes. She hid her own smile in much the same way as Caroline had.

"Do you happen to know where your brother and my son are, Your Grace?" Mary asked.

"I believe they have gone riding together. Or perhaps it was racing. I cannot be too sure because I decided to stop listening as soon as they mentioned horses."

"Racing?" Caroline gasped, sounding distressed. "Is that not dangerous? I do not think Paul is that accomplished of a rider, is he?"

"He is foolhardy enough to think that he is," Agnes sighed. "Perhaps it would have been best if you'd joined them, Your Grace."

"I thought about it but before I could offer my company, Lord Sutton beat me to it."

"My husband?" Mary asked in surprise. "Now that must be quite a sight. He does not enjoy riding very much."

"He does not?" Agnes could feel Johnathan's eyes on her as he said, "I wonder why that sounds so familiar."

Mary obviously caught the look because she laughed. "Oh, there is quite a difference between the two, Your Grace. You see, while my husband does not enjoy riding horses, he is rather skilled and will make do when he has to. While Agnes is absolutely terrified."

"I am not terrified!" Agnes protested, her cheeks growing hot.

"Yes, you are," Mary and Caroline said at the same time. They looked at each other and burst into a fit of giggles, clearly not perturbed by the glares Agnes was giving them both of them.

To her irritation, Johnathan joined in with the laughter. "The first step of overcoming your fears, Miss Agnes, is admitting that you have them in the first place."

"Which shall never happen because there is simply nothing to admit."

"Well, it seems she will be afflicted with this fear of hers for as long as she is stubborn," he said to Mary.

"Which may very well be for the rest of her life," Mary agreed with a laugh.

Agnes set her cup down a little more forcefully than necessary. "Shall we move on to more important things? Like planning this very hasty engagement party, for example?"

"Ah, yes," Mary agreed, though Agnes could tell she would have much rather spend the rest of her afternoon poking fun at Agnes' expense. "We should decide the menu for the night. I would like to pass it on to the cook before the day ends."

"Then that is my cue to take my leave," Johnathan said, getting to a stand. Agnes instantly regretted being the serious one. If it meant keeping Johnathan around for a while longer, she surely wouldn't mind being on the end of every joke.

"I shall bring details of the party to you later this afternoon, Your Grace," Mary promised, somber once again.

"I will look forward to it." He brushed crumbs from his fingers, then then his waistcoat though there was none there to be found. He was stalling, Agnes knew, and when no one else seemed to be looking, he caught her eye and jerked his head to the door.

She knew what that meant. He wanted to talk to her. But then he mouthed, "Later," and she nodded discreetly. It would be a little too obvious if she was to leave right after he did, especially since it was clear she had nothing else to do.

Agnes tried not to pay him much mind as he took his leave, focusing instead on her mother and the menu she was attempting to draft. But the tips of her fingers tingled with anticipation, her heart thudding lowly in her chest at the thought of sneaking away to see him again.

Not to her surprise, talk of whether they should have chicken or fish afterward did not have very much luster.

Johnathan stayed in his office. For one, he wanted to avoid interacting with anyone else. He gave strict instructions to his butler that he was hard at work and should not be interrupted. His ledgers still needed balancing and there were a number of correspondences to his tenants that needed to be mailed out by the end of the day.

The other, perhaps more important reason, was because he wanted to ensure that Agnes was able to find him when she came to see him later. He was certain she'd gotten the gist of what he'd been trying to tell her before in the drawing room, so it was only a matter of time before she appeared.

Time that stretched on for far too long. Early morning drifted into late afternoon, just a couple hours away from dinner, before there finally came a knock on the door.

Johnathan straightened. No one bothered to interrupt him during his work but he didn't want to ask that they come in on the chance that it might be anyone other than Agnes. Thankfully, she didn't attempt to knock again. She simply slipped inside, closing the door behind her and resting against it.

She kept her hands on the doorknob, her eyes intent on him. "We must stop meeting like this," she murmured, loud enough for him to hear her.

Johnathan leaned back in his chair, regarding her evenly. Then slowly, he stood. He didn't take his eyes off her as he approached. Her heavy-lidded gaze lifted slightly the closer he came, until she was gazing up at him.

For two tense seconds, they only stared at each other.

Johnathan lunged first.

He couldn't help himself. It was all he could think about. From the moment he tasted the sweet gentle swell of her lips, he craved more, needing to feel her between his arms. And as if Agnes was victim to the same longing that plagued him, she met him halfway.

Her fingers quickly found his hair as their lips met. Johnathan braced her against the door, forcing himself to be gentle and treat her with the respect she deserved. She did not seem very inclined to do so and she moved her lips against his hungrily, taking more and more.

And felt like ages before they both came up for air. Agnes still had her arms wrapped around his neck as she grinned up at him.

"Surely this is not the reason you wanted to see me?" she asked softly.

Johnathan couldn't bring himself to smile just yet. An overwhelming wave of relief washed over him by simply gazing into her eyes. He'd been struggling for so long, hiding a deep seated pain he'd never been able to come to terms with. Being here with Agnes, holding her in his arms, made him feel so at peace.

"I love you," he breathed. He wanted to lean into her, pull her closer still. But he stared into her eyes instead as he waited for his words to sink in.

Her smile only widened. She didn't look the least bit surprised, only happy. "It took you long enough to say it."

"Does that mean you love me as well?" he asked, resting his forehead against hers.

"What do you think?" she challenged.

Johnathan huffed a laugh. "Must you be difficult all the time?"

"I would not be me if I did not." Somehow, she managed to find enough space behind her head to pull away from him, catching his eyes once more. "I love you too, Johnathan."

He sealed their confessions with a kiss. When he pulled away, she sighed and said again, "Surely this is not the reason you wanted to see me."

"Would it not be fine if I did?"

"If you wish to court scandal, Johnathan, then you should do so on your own time."

Agnes gently pushed him away and made her way to the sofas arranged on one end of the study. Johnathan watched her go. "Well, you aren't any fun anymore."

"One of us has to remain levelheaded," she said with a shrug. She reached into her pocket and pulled out a folded piece of paper, holding it out to him. It gave him the opportunity to approach her again but she must have seen the devilish glint in his eye because she slipped by him before he could pull her into his arms once more.

"What's this?" he asked, not bothering to mask his disappointment.

"The details surrounding the engagement party. Mother asked me to pass it on to you. Or rather, I subtly suggested it and she took me up on the offer."

"Smart of you. Though if you are missing for long, the others may come to me seeking your whereabouts."

"I know." She gave him a sweet smile. "We should not remain in each other's company alone for too long."

While he should agree with her, Johnathan couldn't help showing his disappointment in that regard. "Any more of that and one would think you do not like spending time with me, Agnes."

"There's nothing I want more than to spend time with you," she assured softly. "But if we are to go about this in the proper way, the last thing I want is for others to assume anything before we are able to clear the air. And I'm sure you were thinking the same thing, hence the reason you are having this engagement party so soon."

"Oh?"

She sank into one of the sofas and waited until he claimed the one across from her before she went on. "I gave it some thought and that is the only reason I could think of. Any longer and Lord Reeds will grow more insistent. And while I'm sure you are as eager to announce our engagement as much as I am, it may not be very wise to do so when tension is so high."

"Tension will remain high for as long as Lord Reeds does not get what he wants."

"That is true," she admitted with a nod. "Which means a public announcement may be the only way to go. Lord Reeds will not be able to dispute you in front of so many people. And he will be thoroughly embarrassed as well."

"We seem to share one mind, Agnes," Johnathan said, impressed. "I had intended to explain my line of thinking to you but you have beaten me to it."

"That is because we are partners," she said, though the smile that came to her face was one of complete pride. "After spending so much time working alongside you with the same aim, I do understand your motivations. But you must know that it will not be enough to deter him. Lord Reeds will only demand that you end our engagement and perhaps that you even secure a special license to marry Caroline as soon as possible. Or worse…"

"Worse?" he probed with a raise of his brows.

Agnes drew in a deep breath. "He might take your announcement as his chance to reveal the truth of your father's death. Lord Reeds is not one to think twice about low blows and he will want to hurt and embarrass you as much as you have done to him."

"That is a risk I will have to take," Johnathan said with a sigh. "Fighting against a man as vindictive as the earl opens me up to attacks I never would have considered with anyone else."

"That much is true. But anything he attempts to do, we will do our utmost to thwart it."

"We?"

"My family and I."

"Have you told them about us?" Johnathan asked with a raise of his brows.

Agnes shook his head. "I have not. Not yet. I do not yet know how best to tell them."

"Christopher has figured it out."

"Well, that must be a relief for him. I know he was not very keen on being married." She paused, then added, "Caroline has figured it out as well."

Johnathan raised his brows in surprise. "Has she? That reminds me, there is something I have been meaning to ask you?—"

The rest of his sentence went unsaid because the door opened and his mother walked in. Johnathan shot to his feet, his heart pounding. Agnes was slower to rise but the look on her face spoke of her own fear.

"Mother…" He didn't know what to say. His words failed him so many times before but he never cursed his inability to think quickly on his feet as he did this time.

Irene looked between the two of them, her expression impassive yet her gaze direct. She took a few steps closer, hands clasped before her.

"Am I interrupting something?" she asked.

"Not at all, Your Grace," Agnes said quickly, though she seemed far more in control than Johnathan felt. "I had only stopped by to give His Grace the details of the party. Mother asked me to pass it along to him. I was about to take my leave."

She made haste for the door, but stopped for a brief moment as if she intended to say something else. Whatever it might have been, Agnes clearly thought against it because she simply hurried out the door instead.

An uncomfortable silence settled into the room. Johnathan didn't know what to do with himself, so he made for the sideboard, throwing over his shoulder, "Would you like a drink, Mother?"

"A glass of sherry would do nicely," she responded, making for the same sofa Agnes had vacated.

That surprised him. His mother had once been a lover of a nice bottle of port, indulging as much as her position would allow. But that was before everything happened.

He poured her a glass and himself a glass of whiskey he had no intention of touching and made his way over to them. Handing her her sherry, Johnathan sat across from her and tried not to seem too anxious.

"Mother, about what you just saw…"

"She is a lovely girl, isn't she?" Irene sipped her wine, regarding her son with little expression in her eyes.

Once upon a time, his mother had been the easiest person to read. She wore her every thought on her face and her heart on her sleeve. It made her vulnerable yet so beautifully open that one couldn't help but love her within minutes of meeting her.

Johnathan couldn't tell what she was thinking now. He couldn't tell when it had happened, though he knew it had to be because of the late duke's death. She had changed so thoroughly but had shut herself away so that no one could witness it.

It felt as if he was sitting before a person he had known a long time ago, a person who was now a stranger. So many memories existed between them and yet it felt as if he no longer knew who she was.

"Yes," he said at last. "Miss Agnes is a lovely lady."

"Any man would be lucky to be married to her," Irene went on.

"I am inclined to agree," Johnathan responded noncommittally. He couldn't tell what his mother thought about him being alone with an unmarried woman. Had Agnes been in his arms—or perched on his lap the way he had been fantasizing about—her opinion on the matter would have been obvious. No well-bred lady would ever let such a scandal happen before her eyes without taking the proper action of insisting on a marriage. But since Irene had walked in when they'd only been talking, and sitting across from each other, it may be innocent enough for Irene to ignore it.

He braced himself, waiting for his mother to make the next move. But Irene remained quiet, content it seemed to enjoy her wine.

"Mother," Johnathan spoke at last. "Is there a reason you came to see me?"

"At first, no," she answered. "I only wanted to spend some time with you. Even if it would be done in silence."

"Oh." Again, he was at a loss for words. He certainly hadn't expected that.

"But now that I am here, I find my mind filled with so many things I want to tell you. Things I should be saying to both you and Christopher."

"Do you want me to send for him?" Johnathan asked, already standing to make his way to the bell pull.

"No, don't," Irene said quickly. She'd fully drained her glass and set it on the table next to the sofa. "I want to speak with you alone, for now."

Johnathan slowly lowered to a seat, waiting silently.

Irene drew in a deep breath. When she raised her eyes to meet his, they were filled with tortured pain, already swimming with tears. Johnathan felt his heart break in his chest.

"All I can think to say is that I am sorry, Johnathan."

"Mother…"

"There is much to apologize for," she went on, her voice soft and wavering. "For my withdrawal from the family after your father's death. For the weight I put on you when you assumed the dukedom. For worrying you. For failing to console you and be there for you when you truly needed it. My sins are a mile long."

"Mother, you don't have to do this."

"But I do. I will not be able to move on until I right my wrongs. And a wise young lady gave me the confidence to approach you, even though I am afraid that you will turn me away. God knows that I would deserve it."

Johnathan had a feeling he knew who that wise young lady was.

"Mother, you were only trying to cope in the only way you know how. You need not ask me for my forgiveness because it has always been yours."

The tears finally overflowed. Before Johnathan knew what was happening, his mother had launched himself at him, throwing her arms around his neck.

Johnathan could not remember the last time they'd embraced. As soon as her arms wrapped around him, he lost control of his own emotions. Tears pricked his eyes, his throat swelling, as he hugged her back.

He couldn't say anything and it seemed neither could she. As they held each other and cried, words no longer seemed important.