Chapter 24

CHAPTER 24

A t the rate Johnathan was going, he was likely to pace a hole into the ground. He couldn't help himself, however. The lingering effects of his agitation and fury were begging for a release and he hadn't a clue how best to let it all out.

The earl's words echoed over and over again in his mind. A part of Johnathan wanted to seek him out and make him regret ever blackmailing him. The mere attempt was a mark on Johnathan's honor. On his manhood! He'd invited the earl into his home and this was the treatment he received?

Yes, he had promised to marry his niece. And yes, he supposed Lord Reeds had every right to be upset that Johnathan was going back on that promise. But insulting his brother and threatening their lives was not to be tolerated. Johnathan only wished that he had the ammunition to fight back.

"John?"

Agnes' soft voice tore through the fury clouding his mind. He whirled to face her, noticing that she was lingering just a few feet away under an arched hedge.

The look on his face must have alarmed her because she quickly came to his side. "What happened?" she asked worriedly.

Johnathan couldn't respond. He could do nothing but stare at her. He flexed his hands at his side in an attempt to fight the urge to pull her into his arms and bury his face into her hair.

"Did something happen?" she asked him. "You look as if you wish to send your fist flying into the nearest thing." She paused, her eyes twinging with humor. "Perhaps I should not be standing so close to you."

"I would never hurt you," Johnathan rasped with far more intensity than was required. The humor fled from her eyes, replaced with something eerily familiar to what he felt at that moment.

For a moment, they simply stared at each other. Johnathan knew the risk they were taking by being alone during the day like this. He could only hope that she'd been careful in coming. A scandal was the very last thing he needed on his hands right now.

At the same time, he hadn't realized how much he wanted her to be here until she'd arrived. Her presence alone had a manner of calming him, distracting him. He wasn't thinking about the earl's insolence so much as he was considering pulling her into his arms and finally letting their lips meet.

"There must have been a reason you called me out here," Agnes said at last, breaking the tension that had steadily crawled over them. "And I can tell that something happened."

Johnathan nodded. He took a step back to give his mind a chance to think clearly. It didn't work half as well as he'd hoped.

"I spoke with Lord Reeds and told him that I intend to end my courtship with Miss Caroline."

"Already?" she gasped.

"I was given little choice. Granted, it was my intention to do so sooner rather than later, but Lord Reeds has been growing impatient so I thought it would be best to tell him the truth."

"How did he take it?"

Johnathan grimaced. Agnes mimicked the expression.

"That badly?" she prodded.

Johnathan nodded. "He has threatened me, in fact. He grew so upset that I even dared to suggest breaking our arrangement that he said he would reveal to the ton the truth of my father's death. What little honor I have left will vanish."

The frustration was sudden, surging through his body with such force that he did not trust himself to stand next to Agnes. He didn't think he would hurt her but he certainly didn't want to frighten her when the feeling grew out of control.

So he stalked away, raking his fingers through his hair like he had been doing ever since he left his office. Agnes was right. He wanted to punch something, but doubted the hedge walls surrounding them would give him any satisfaction.

"So he knows then," Agnes said, sounding as if she was choosing her words carefully. "About your father's death?"

"Sadly, he does."

"But…how?"

Johnathan wanted to avoid her eyes. He knew the truth was coming and was afraid of the anger or betrayal—or worse, both—he would see in Agnes' eyes. But he respected her too much to act like a coward, no matter how much he wanted to.

"My father had a dark secret that was only revealed to us upon his death," Johnathan began. "He had an issue with gambling. Apparently, he accrued such massive debts that he stood no hope of paying them off in his lifetime. I do not know if it was his cowardice, or his fear of being found out, or his shame that led to his decision to take his own life. I have long since given up on trying to understand what his motivations were because the only legacy I was left with were debts that did nothing but deplete our funds."

He couldn't look at her anymore. She didn't take her eyes off him for a second and being under her scrutiny made him feel as if he was being flayed alive. He looked away, staring at the hedge wall to his left as his mind sunk further into the past.

"We are penniless, barely able to keep the roof over our heads. Mother disappeared into herself and Christopher coped by drinking himself into a stupor night after night. My only option was to work tirelessly to provide for my family and do whatever I could to restore the legacy of our dukedom. All the while keeping the truth away from the ton ."

"So how did Lord Reeds find out?" Agnes asked, her voice barely above a whisper.

"That I do not know," Johnathan confessed and was unable to quell the deep-seated shame he felt at that fact. "He was the one who approached me, dangling Miss Caroline's hefty dowry before me as bait to accept an engagement between the two of us. I agreed with very little hesitation, not knowing that he was aware of the extent of my situation. After that, I thought to take advantage of my brother's unmarried state and secure a second dowry. One may be enough to release us from the debts but the other could help restore us to our former glory."

Agnes was standing incredibly still, her expression impassive. Johnathan felt something twist inside him at the sight. Fear, he realized. Fear that she would hate him for what he was about to say next but knowing it was too late to stop it.

"My marriage to Miss Caroline and Christopher's marriage to you was only meant to be a means to an end. It bothered me that I was taking advantage of you and Miss Caroline but I thought myself out of options. Forgive me, Agnes. I regret ever having used deceit in the first place."

Johnathan expected her to get upset, to scold him and stalk away in anger. But she only shook her head.

"I cannot blame you for a decision made out of desperation," she said softly. "People marry for varying reasons all the time. Saving their family from destitution is amongst the most honorable of them all."

Johnathan could not believe what he was hearing. "You do not resent me for what I've done?"

"What you almost did," she corrected with a soft smile. "And no, I do not. Honestly, I am a little offended that you thought I would. I was well aware that I had not secured a love match and I am certain Caroline did as well. There was no harm done."

Johnathan had to take another step back because all he wanted to do was pull her into his arms and kiss her senseless. God, the urge was getting out of hand at this point.

"Lord Reeds will stop at nothing to ensure that Miss Caroline and I are married," Johnathan went on. "All the work I have done over the years to rebuild my people's confidence in the dukedom will be destroyed if word was to get out. And he knows that I need Miss Caroline's dowry. He knows that it is my only key to saving my family."

"Then marry me."

Johnathan reeled in shock, eyes growing wide. "What?"

Agnes boldly met his eyes even though her cheeks turned a bright pink. "The only thing you require is a dowry, is it not? You have no attachment to Caroline. If we were to get married, Lord Reeds will have nothing to hold over you."

"His threat still holds," he murmured rather dumbly.

"It will not have much credit if you have the wealth to show for it," she assured. "And my father is well-connected. He will be able to counter any rumors Lord Reeds might attempt to make." This time, it seemed like she was having a hard time meeting his eyes. "Though I suppose it is a big decision agreeing to marry someone. If you do not wish to do it, then I understand. We could think of a better solution."

Agnes began turning away. Johnathan moved without thinking. In two large steps, he was upon her, grabbing her by the wrist. She gasped as she whirled back to face him, her head tilted slightly as she met his gaze with wide eyes.

"John…"

"Why do you offer yourself?" he asked, searching her eyes. He was so close he could feel her breath on his skin. So close he could feel the quick rise and fall of her bosom, lightly kissing his chest. It was all he could do to keep his eyes on her face. He needed to know her response.

"I…I thought that…"

"If you are suggesting that we marry only as a solution for my problems, Agnes, then I would rather die starving than see you reduced to that." The intensity of his words had her eyes widening but Johnathan couldn't help it. "Now that I have come to know you, Agnes, I respect you far too much to let yourself do such a thing. Now that I have come to care for you."

He didn't think she was breathing. Or perhaps that was him? The air did seem incredibly still.

"But if there is something else that motivates you," he continued in a softer tone. "Something that may suggest your heart's true intention, then I would love nothing more than your hand in marriage."

"Johnathan…"

"Tell me, Agnes," he whispered to her, desperation lacing his words. He pressed her hand against his chest and her eyes widened at the rapid pace of its bating. "Tell me that I am not the only one who feels like this. Tell me that I am not alone in my torture."

"Johnathan, I…" She trailed off, eyes falling to his lips. The last thread of control he'd been valiantly holding on to snapped.

Johnathan did the same, heat curling through his body when she licked her lips. He doubted she knew how tempting she was, how that single act turned him into a starving man who had just witnessed food being set before him. His entire body shook as he forced himself to be slow, gentle. He left the question in the air as he lowered his lips to hers, waiting for her to make the wise decision and push him away.

She must have been as desperate as he was because she reached up on her toes to meet him.

Johnathan could not hold back any longer. Days of dreaming of this very moment had not prepared him for how perfect it was. Her lips molded effortlessly against his, the flush of her body against his chest akin to a key sliding into a lock. It was as if they were made for each other, made for this moment exactly.

He placed a hand on the side of her face, letting it trail its way up to her hair. Johnathan felt the feather-like touches of her fingers against his back as if she was uncertain of where to put them. But her lips moved against his as if she'd been born to do this, as if she needed it as much as he did.

It took every bit of his willpower to pull away. Agnes was left gasping, staring up at him with clouded eyes.

"Does this mean you accept?" she whispered.

Johnathan shook his head. He still held her and was not very eager to let go of her for now. "I shan't accept your proposal, Agnes."

Her brows dipped. "But I thought?—"

"It feels like a mark upon my honor as a gentleman. It is I who should be asking you if you wish to become my wife."

Agnes' confusion cleared as her face lit with a bright smile. "What shall you do if I say no?"

Johnathan didn't think twice about kissing her again. When he pulled away this time, she laughed in surprise. "How about now?" he asked.

Her laughter was like music to his ears. "It would be an honor, Your Grace."

He wanted to kiss her again so he did. Long and slow, despite how improper it was for them to do so. If the gardener was to happen upon them…

It wouldn't matter now. Not now that they were to be married. Not now that he knew she shared his feelings and was willing to hold his hand to the very end. They'd begun as partners and would end as partners in every sense of the word. Right now, that was all that mattered to him.