Chapter 18

CHAPTER 18

A gnes awoke the next day at six in the morning. Or rather, she opened her eyes and realized that dawn had approached and she'd barely slept at all during the night.

She got dressed in silence, left her chambers half an hour later, and made her way to the duke's study.

Then she stood there and wondered if she should enter.

It would be far too daring at this point. To sneak into the duke's study so early in the morning without a chaperone? They'd almost gotten caught once, so why would she take that risk again? Just to satisfy her own curiosity?

Agnes began to pace. She gnawed on the end of her nail, falling into that terrible habit she thought she'd rid of years ago. There was a question she needed to ask Johnathan, burning a hole into the side of her mind and holding her captive from her sleep. The only problem was, she hadn't a clue how to word it, let alone how she would muster up the courage to say it aloud.

"Agnes?"

She gasped, whirling to face Caroline. Her friend looked as perfectly put together as she always did, a feat that Agnes couldn't help but admire time and time again.

"What are you doing outside the duke's study?" Caroline asked with a confused frown, drawing closer. "Is something the matter?"

"The duke's study?" Agnes got out, her heart racing against her chest. "Oh, is this the duke's study, you say? I hadn't noticed. I do not pay much attention to where the duke likes to study. Or read, I suppose. Or rather, do his work. I do believe that is what dukes tend to do in their study."

Caroline's frown only grew deeper. "You're worrying me. It is not like you to ramble."

"Am I rambling?" Agnes let out a shaky laugh. She turned away, hoping to avoid her friend's gaze. "I do not think that I am. Perhaps it is simply the early hour. I am so often filled with thoughts during the dead of night and am always eager to release them to any willing ear. Which just so happens to be you, thankfully enough."

Oh, dear God, she was rambling.

Agnes cleared her throat, hoping she far less frazzled than she felt. "What of you, Caroline? What brings you down this side of the manor?"

"I was hoping to go for a stroll through the gardens," Caroline told her, her curious look deepening. "Though I think I might have taken a wrong turn and made my trip to the gardens far longer than it needed to be."

"How fortuitous that you did and happened upon me," Agnes said with an odd laugh. "Standing outside the duke's study, as you said. Though I did not know it was the duke's study."

Caroline was staring at her as if she could not believe what she was seeing. She opened her mouth to respond—and Agnes braced herself for more probing—but was interrupted by the door of the study in question opening.

Her heart stopped in her chest. Even as she'd paced outside the door, she hadn't considered the thought that he might actually be inside!

Johnathan poked his head through the door, frowning in confusion at the two of them. "I thought I heard voices," he said. "Am I needed?"

"Not at all, Your Grace!" Agnes hurriedly said. "We only happened to meet by chance outside your study, is all. Isn't that right, Caroline?"

Caroline looked at Johnathan, then Agnes, then back to Johnathan with a slow nod. "That is right, Your Grace."

"But we shan't disturb you any longer," Agnes went on. "Caroline and I shall be making our way to the gardens for a stroll before breakfast."

"Allow me to join you," he said.

She was finding it increasingly difficult meeting his eyes. Even more so catching her breath. Why did it suddenly feel as if the walls were closing in on her?

"Join us?" Agnes repeated dumbly.

Johnathan was already stepping out of the room, closing the door behind him.

"That would be lovely, Your Grace," Caroline was saying, completely unaware of how dizzy Agnes was becoming at her side.

Johnathan flashed a brief smile at her. "I shall ring for a maid then."

Then his eyes fell on her. Agnes willed herself to look away. She didn't need him seeing her in such a stressed state, unable to make heads nor tails of her conflicting thoughts. But his words last night echoed through her mind as their eyes met and, for a brief moment, she allowed herself to consider the possibility that he might have truly meant them.

The moment went far too quickly. He looked away and then gestured with an arm for them to walk ahead of him. Agnes managed to do so on leaden feet, Caroline taking her side.

"This is good," Caroline whispered to her. "I do not think I have spent much time with His Grace since my arrival. Perhaps this will allow us to get to know each other a bit more."

Agnes didn't like the way her throat tightened at those words. She cast a surreptitious glance behind her, noting that there were a few paces between them and Johnathan. No doubt meant to maintain propriety. The relief she felt at his distance was quite conflicting considering the fact that she'd been considering going to see him alone.

"Is that what you truly want, Caroline?" she whispered back.

Caroline sighed softly. "It is not so much what I wish for, Agnes, but what must happen. You know that, do you not? My uncle has been quite cross with me lately because he does not think I am doing enough to impress the duke."

"Why do you need to impress him if a match between you two has already been secured? I do think Lord Reeds is being rather unfair."

"He wants me off his hands. But it is not enough to marry me off to anyone who asks. My aunt and uncle want the prestige attached to the Claymore title and will stop at nothing to get it. There is nothing to be done but accept my fate."

The sadness in her voice was enough to rid Agnes of her personal ailments. She squeezed Caroline's hand. "It does not have to be so if you do not wish it to be."

"A lovely sentiment," Caroline said with a sad smile. "But it is useless."

"It is not like you to be so pessimistic."

"Can you not already hear the wedding bells, Agnes? I suppose I should be happy that I am to be married to a handsome and kind gentleman who will take care of me, even if I do not reserve any feelings for him."

Agnes could only pat her hand. She resisted the urge to tell her of her plans to ensure Caroline's happiness. The success of that plan depended greatly on Caroline's ignorance, after all.

Caroline straightened her shoulders, visibly brightening. "But enough talk about me. I want to know about you."

Agnes frowned at her. Again, she glanced back at the duke. Their eyes met, her heart skipped a beat, and she quickly looked away, cheeks growing warm.

"What is there to say?"

"What do you think about Lord Christopher? He is quite handsome. Do you think?—"

"I assure you that I feel absolutely nothing for Lord Christopher and I am certain that the sentiment is mutual!"

Her outburst was so sudden that Caroline jolted to a halt, eyes growing wide. This time, Agnes' entire face grew hot. She didn't dare to look behind her.

"If I had it my way, Caroline," she assured her friend in a far softer tone this time. "Lord Christopher and I will not be married. I assure you."

"You…assure me?"

"I do," she stated firmly. Suddenly feeling quite unlike herself and embarrassed because of it, she took a step back, unable to meet her friend's eyes this time. "Now if you'd pardon me, I do not think I am quite up for a stroll. I think I shall return to my chambers until it is time for breakfast instead."

She hurried away before Caroline could respond. To her dismay and delight, heading to her chambers meant she would have to go past Johnathan, which she did without sparing a glance at him, her head down. She didn't miss the way he stepped back to make her go by, didn't miss the hand that he'd reach out before dropping to his side.

But she didn't dare to think anything of it, racing away instead in the hopes that she found herself by the time they were to depart for the village.

"She is quite lovely, is she not?"

Johnathan straightened, tearing his eyes away from Agnes who stood by the drawing room window next to Caroline. They were deep in conversation with Agnes' back turned to the room as if she did not care to pay it any mind. He wondered if that was on purpose.

He looked at his brother, then back at the two ladies. Though he was certain that Christopher was talking about Miss Caroline, he nodded, eyes falling again on Agnes' beautiful frame. "Yes," he breathed. "Yes, she is."

Christopher sighed, crossing his arms. "I must say that I am looking forward to our outing to the village. It has been some time since I've visited and I am keen to show Miss Agnes around."

Johnathan looked sharply at him. "Why would you care to do such a thing?"

Christopher seemed confused by the question. "Well, we are to be married. I thought that was what you would want."

That was right, Johnathan remembered. That was what he should want. Christopher didn't know that Johnathan was aware of his secret tryst. And he supposed it would be better if it stayed that way. At least until Johnathan was able to let the other, more important pieces fall into place.

Like convincing Lord Reeds to abandon the idea of the marriage, a feat Johnathan was not certain he would be able to accomplish. He had made a promise to the earl, after all. A promise he doubted Lord Reeds would allow him to break without receiving something else in return. Johnathan was still trying to figure out how to go about it.

Lord and Lady Reeds were still absent, which was why everyone was waiting in the drawing room. Lord and Lady Sutton chose to sit with each other on the settee with their son, while the ladies occupied one end of the room and Johnathan and Christopher occupied the other. The dowager duchess had decided she wanted nothing to do with this outing, not to Johnathan's surprise.

"I want what is best for our family," Johnathan said at last. "Whatever that may be."

"What is best for us is to secure their dowries so that we may pay our father's debts and live a comfortable life," Christopher said morosely. "Though I cannot help but feel bad that we are taking advantage of these ladies."

That familiar pinch of guilt assaulted Johnathan even as he said, "It is not uncommon for marriages to take advantage of a lady's dowry."

"Yes but for a duke and the duke's brother, one would expect them to put said dowry in trust for their wives and children, rather than paying shameful debts left behind by their father."

"Enough, Christopher. What happened has already been done and there is nothing we can do about it now."

Christopher drew in a deep breath, letting it out through his nose. "You're right. There is no use lamenting about it now. It is a decision I have already decided to take."

Johnathan cast a pitying look his brother's way. "Perhaps not a decision that needs to be taken in the end."

"What do you mean?"

Johnathan was saved from having to respond by the arrival of the earl and countess. At that, Agnes turned, finally gracing Johnathan with a view of her face.

She'd looked lovely earlier this morning, as she always did. How was it that in a matter of hours, she managed to look even more radiant? She seemed to glow under the shaft of sunlight beaming through the windowpane. She was unaware of his perusal and her lowered guard only made her far more endearing.

He'd been meaning to ask her about her sudden departure this morning. All throughout breakfast, the question plagued him. He'd only jumped at the chance to take a stroll with them just to share in her company, after all. So what had possessed her to leave in the end?

He would have asked had he not still been ashamed by all that he'd said last night. It was the only thing he could think of when he looked at her.

As if she felt the weight of his gaze, her eyes shifted to him. Johnathan felt his heart trip over itself and he quickly looked away, cursing himself a second later for being so foolish. She'd clearly seen him looking and now she would think him a dolt for fearing eye contact. Agnes Parsons was not the kind of lady who would grow affection for a weak man, after all. Johnathan didn't think himself to be one and yet he found himself faltering and fumbling when under her scrutiny.

"Shall we depart then?" Lord Sutton asked, coming to a stand. He guided his wife to her feet as well, as if she could not possibly stand on her own without his helping hand. "We do not want the day to get away from us."

"Yes, let us," Johnathan agreed and took the lead. It was a welcoming distraction from the pair of brown eyes boring into him.

He led the way out the drawing room out and out onto the courtyard where two carriages were already waiting. Before he could say a word, Agnes swept up to his side, carrying with her the enticing smell of her perfume. It was all he could focus on for a moment.

"Shall we ride together, Your Grace?" she asked. "There were a few things I wanted to ask you about your travels."

"I'm sure those questions can wait until we have arrived at our destination," Lady Reeds poked in with a false smile on her teeth.

Johnathan knew what Agnes was trying to do. But he could admit to himself that his next words had less to do with her motivations than they had to with his. "On the contrary, my lady, I do think it would be a fine time for Miss Agnes to voice such questions so that the rest of our morning can be dedicated to the group activities."

"It would not do for two unmarried ladies to ride with two unmarried gentlemen," Lady Sutton pointed out. "Betrothed or not."

"I do not see the problem, Mother," Agnes stated simply. "You and Father should ride with Caroline, Christopher and Paul."

Lady Sutton seemed surprised by that. Johnathan was as well. He thought Agnes would have much preferred the company of her parents to that of Lord and Lady Reeds.

"Come now," she quickly went on. "Any more time deliberating our seating arrangements and night will begin falling."

"What an exaggeration," Lady Sutton commented.

"I believe she learned it from you," Lord Sutton murmured.

"Are you certain, Agnes?" Caroline spoke up, her own uncertainty with what was about to happen apparent. She glanced anxiously at her uncle. "Perhaps it would be best if?—"

"There's no need to worry, Caroline," Agnes assured her. "Lord Christopher has assured me that it is not a long trip to the village so it really does not matter who rides with whom, does it?"

"I pointedly disagree with you," said Lord Reeds, his disapproval clear in the scowl he wore. "We shall ride with Lord Christopher and Caroline."

"What was that, my lord?" Agnes asked as she turned away. She caught Johnathan by the arm, her sudden touch sending a thrill through his body. "I cannot hear you. Perhaps you could repeat it when we are in the carriage."

"Oh dear," Lady Sutton sighed. Johnathan could have sworn he heard humor in her voice. "Then we should make haste to our carriage, shouldn't we, Caroline?"

"Am I the only one who does not understand what is happening?" Mr. Parsons spoke up, markedly bemused.

Johnathan didn't get to hear anything more. Agnes pulled him all the way to the carriage, putting enough distance between them and the others, which allowed him to ask, "Why would you want to ride with Lord and Lady Reeds and not your parents? I thought you were not fond of them."

"I am not," she whispered to him. "But Caroline will not feel comfortable enough to relax and show her affection to your brother if her aunt and uncle are there watching her every move."

"And you believe that will not be the same for your parents?"

"They are far more understanding. They treat Caroline like a daughter. And it will give them a chance to see how lovely they are as a match, which will make it easier for them to let go of the idea of him marrying me."

Johnathan helped her into the carriage, unable to keep the marvel off his face. "You are absolutely fascinating."

To his surprise, she blushed. "I must thank you for playing along."

"I trust your judgment, Agnes. I doubt you could ever steer me wrong."

Her lips parted in surprise. Johnathan, realizing he might have said too much once more, cleared his throat, grateful for the distraction Lord and Lady Reeds' approach gave him. He entered the carriage, allowing the married couple to slide in on the other side.

Neither one of them bothered hiding their discontentment at the arrangement. Johnathan would have felt far more amusement at their faces had it not been for the veritable fact that their disapproval was bound to cause more discomfort than anything else.

"What a dreadful start to this trip," Lady Reeds began as the carriage set off behind the other. "Caroline should be the one sitting there."

She jerked her chin unceremoniously at Agnes, who sat across from her. To her credit, Agnes didn't seem to mind the hostility being aimed her way.

"I am certain that Caroline is quite content where she is," Agnes stated without a care in the world.

"It matters not whether she is content," Lord Reeds interjected, his voice rumbling with annoyance. "She should be by the side of her future husband."

"On that, my lord, I must agree."

Lord Reeds' scowl only deepened the tension in the carriage. While Agnes clearly didn't care that she was upsetting the earl, Johnathan would much rather the trip to the village pass without incident.

"It is a good thing that this carriage ride is a short one," he attempted to assure them. "I'm sure I will have more than enough opportunities to share in Miss Caroline's company when we arrive."

"I would hope so," Lord Reeds sniffed. "And while we are on the topic of your match with Caroline, Your Grace, we must discuss the wedding."

Johnathan felt the blood drain from his face. "Must we?"

"We have not been given the chance to do so before. Why not now? It would be a much more suitable topic of conversation than tales of your travels."

"I beg to differ, my lord," Agnes murmured.

Lord Reeds glared only seemed to bounce off Agnes' skin because she clearly couldn't care less.

To save her from another argument—though Johnathan was of the view that she would welcome it—he asked, "What exactly did you want to say about the wedding, Lord Reeds?"

"Anything at all! I have not heard your thoughts on the matter, which I do find rather odd."

"Oh, come now, dear," Lady Reeds spoke up, touching her husband lightly on the arm. "You know gentlemen do not pay much mind to the organization of such things. It is the job of the bride and her family."

"I do not intend to talk of flowers and decorations," Lord Reeds corrected. "My only suggestion is that the wedding be a grand one and that it happens as quickly as possible."

Johnathan shifted uncomfortably. Agnes did as well, though her face was turned towards the window. "It may not be a good idea to rush the wedding, my lord."

"There is no rush," Lord Reeds insisted. "We have already come to an agreement, after all. It is now only a matter of making good on each side of the arrangement."

To Johnathan's relief, Lady Reeds spoke next. "Don't you think it would be better if they waited until the end of the season? It would be a far more impactful wedding, to be certain. And that will certainly give us enough time to plan a grand one."

Lord Reeds seemed to be considering those words. "I do see the merit in your point. But I cannot help but think that we are wasting time."

"It is not a waste, my lord," Johnathan quickly tried to satisfy him. "Like Lady Reeds said, it will allow us more time to plan a grand wedding, one that will make a wonderful union."

"Then we should at least make the announcement now," Lord Reeds said. "That way, everyone will know that Caroline is betrothed to the Duke of Claymore."

Agnes shifted again. It seemed she was trying to face the window even further.

"The season ends in a short few months," Lady Reeds mused. "Perhaps that is not a bad idea."

"Then we shall?—"

"Have we already arrived?" Agnes spoke up suddenly, cutting into the earl's words.

Johnathan was all too eager to lean towards the window to see. He heard her draw in a sharp breath at his sudden closeness and he tried not to turn to look at her. His face was already close enough to hers and if he did…

"Yes, we have arrived," he confirmed, grateful that his voice did not betray the racing of his heart. He straightened. "Lord and Lady Reeds, perhaps we could continue this conversation another time."

"I shall make sure of it, Your Grace," Lord Reeds said stiffly.

Johnathan didn't doubt it. He nodded, accepting the fact that he would have to speak with the earl about Miss Caroline and Christopher earlier than he'd wanted to.

For now, he should only focus on one thing. Ensuring that everyone saw their underlying love for each other. Nothing else mattered but that.

Especially not navigating the company of the beautiful and sagacious lady sitting next to him.