Chapter 23

CHAPTER 23

M arina's eyes grew wide, and suddenly, she reached out and wrapped her fingers around Phillip's wrist. She pointed, silent, to the road before them where a man chased after a riderless horse that was headed directly toward a group of young ladies. They had not yet heard the horse coming. Marina and Phillip got to their feet together.

"Stay here," he instructed her.

"Hurry, Phillip! They will be injured!"

The horse galloped full speed from where his frantic handler chased him, heading in the direction of the girls and Marina and Phillip's hiding spot. The Duke, without a riding crop or whip in his possession and thinking quickly, approached the horse with his arm held aloft and his hand balled up into a fist. As the horse came closer, he brought his arm down swiftly and precisely as if to strike the animal on the head but stopped short. It scared the horse, who reared back onto its hind legs and turned to go the other way where his owner, equipped with the proper tools, was waiting to calm the animal.

Marina rushed to the girls, who had turned just in time and witnessed the whole thing, and she made sure that they were all right. Phillip followed the horse to his owner to ensure that both parties were safe. In the end, they saw everyone off to town and met back at their blanket to clean up. Marina, though, seemed pale and shaken.

They worked together in silence to pick up their things. Phillip could not help but notice how pale Marina looked. She had seemed so calm and together when she was speaking with the girls, but now, she seemed frail.

"Shall we make our way to town, then?" Phillip asked her.

"Ah. I forgot that we were meant to go shopping," she admitted, looking down at the ground as she spoke. "Perhaps another day."

Phillip took a step closer to her, but she did not look at him. Something was clearly wrong. "Why not today? The weather is lovely. We've become town heroes in the space of a few minutes. I would very much like to get you something for your bravery."

It was only then that he noticed she was trembling and immediately put their things down to step forward and hold her shoulders. He tried to get her to look up at him, but she would not.

"Marina, I would like to help you, but you must tell me what the matter is."

She shook her head, wiping away at tears he couldn't see. "There is nothing to tell. I am tired. The horse gave me quite a fright. I would like to go home."

"You have told me many times before, Marina, that you are my wife, and if I were to merely open up to you, then?—"

"Phillip, please ."

The tone of her voice pushed him away from her, and he finally conceded. For the moment. They walked back to the estate together, and Marina avoided looking at him all the way. When they at last reached their home, he turned to speak to her, but she hurried inside so quickly that he barely had time to open his mouth and start a conversation with her. They did not see one another again until dinner.

Phillip arrived late, and Marina looked surprised to see him. He sat down after a quick, awkward hello then could not bring himself to speak about what had happened earlier in the day. Marina hurried through her courses and then announced that she was retiring to bed. Phillip stood in her way, gently grabbing her arms, so he could look at her closely.

"Would it be very much to ask to spend some time together tonight before you do?"

She blinked, surprised. "What did you have in mind?"

"I would happily do whatever you like." The corner of Marina's mouth lifted.

"You have asked me to spend time with you but did not prepare an activity?"

"The activity is not the part that matters," he insisted.

Marina felt a lump form in her throat at his words. She was frustrated with him and embarrassed over how she had acted before. Why must things between them be so difficult? The way he was looking at her, as if she were the only woman who existed in the world, did not feel practiced or forced. Then why, she wondered, did he insist he felt otherwise?

"Then, shall we take the carriage?"

"Wherever to?"

"Around. To look at the stars."

Phillip seemed to consider this for a moment, but in the end, that was what they did. The Duke found that he was fond of this suggestion. As the carriage rolled on, he could watch Marina, her face bathed in moonlight, smile up at the stars and indulge in her all he wanted. They were close enough to one another that they could partake in conversation if they wanted, but not so close that he felt he might lose control.

"Marina?"

"Yes, Your Grace?"

"I wanted to inquire about something."

Her bright eyes swiveled toward him, curious but not apprehensive. "What is it?"

"Earlier today—what was it that had you so distraught? And do not think of lying to me or avoiding an answer. I know what I saw on your face and you yourself have said?—"

"Your Grace…"

"Marina?"

She reached out and lightly placed a hand over his. It was only then that Phillip realized his leg had been shaking while he spoke, a nervous tic. He stilled himself and met her gaze.

"I will tell you. There is no need to chastise me. I realize that I was hesitant to speak on it before, but I merely needed some time to collect my thoughts. This was precisely why I suggested we take the carriage, so we could have a peaceful place to talk."

"I see."

"I did not realize, myself, at first, why the incident with the horse and his rider gave me such a fright," she admitted. "It was all handled without incident and quite quickly, so perhaps that was why it took me a moment to realize."

"What? To realize what?"

"My mother passed away in a riding accident."

"Marina…I did not know. Had I known, I?—"

"What? You would have gone back in time and stopped the horse from appearing before us?" She smiled gently and took the hand that hers still covered and squeezed. "There is no way for me to avoid the animals forever."

"I suppose you're right, but still. I feel that there was more I could have done. Comforted you, perhaps." Then, his eyes grew wide as he looked at her. "We shall buy a second carriage immediately."

"Phillip, whatever for?"

"The other night. You took your horse all the way to Miss Harrington's home because I had the carriage. There should be no reason for you to do this ever again. I shall purchase one in the morning. You can come with me, if you like, and choose the?—"

"Phillip!" Her voice stilled his words but not his mind. Phillip could not believe that he had nearly made a fuss over something that must have truly terrified Marina. She was right, perhaps marriage took some getting used to, but he was not making enough of an effort. How had he never asked how her mother had passed? He had heard her, once, call it an accident. And it had never occurred to him to inquire further.

How selfish.

"Marina, you will not convince me that a second carriage is not a necessity. We shall have one, or my heart will never be at ease."

"I quite like riding," she answered him, her eyebrow raised inquisitively. "Will you ban me from it as well?"

"No, of course not. But if you should ride, do so for leisure. On our property. Preferably with me though I won't hold you to it strictly."

Now that his panic had subsided, Phillip felt something else hanging above their heads: a deep sadness. He knew his own melancholy over his mother's passing quite intimately, but he knew very little of Marina's. His mother had passed when he was a child but hers much more recently, he thought. He detested that he had not thought until now that she was likely still dealing with her grief. She may not wear mourning blacks, but he knew firsthand that the loss of a beloved parent was no light burden and took much more than the standard grieving period to truly move on from.

"Your Grace," she said, once she was sure that he had exhausted his own panic, "I am indebted to you for your kindness. I will not try to persuade you otherwise. I understand that when we carry worries and fears for our loved ones, we must sometimes take action to still our own frantic hearts. But do you know? It is better, sometimes, to face these things head-on."

"What could you mean?"

"When my mother passed, my father had Olivia and I take riding lessons just a few weeks after she was buried. He did not want us to be afraid of something we loved so dearly."

"I see."

"At first, it was a mess. For me, anyway. Olivia took to the lessons quite well, but I sobbed every time I saw a horse. For months."

"How did you overcome it?"

Marina smiled and looked down at her lap. "I became quite angry with my husband one night."

"You rode for the first time….to Miss Harrington?"

"Since my mother's passing yes."

"Marina, had you told me that, I would have?—"

"Not let me go?"

"Yes, of course."

"You were not home to stop me."

Phillip stared at her, the air around him in the carriage feeling suddenly stale and empty. She was fine, of course, but what if that had not been the case? What if something had happened to her merely because Phillip had been too stubborn to get to know his wife well enough to realize she faced great emotional torment each time she rode a horse?

Marina continued when he did not speak. "I think I outgrew my fear far before that night, Phillip. It was just that it had become a habit to avoid it. I did not think that I could, so I did not try, but as it is, I still quite enjoy it."

Phillip thought for a moment then looked up at her with a smile. "When the weather warms again next season, let us go riding on the beach together. And in the meantime, I would very much like to ride with you in the evenings when you feel up to it."

Marina smiled. "I would love that."