Chapter 11

CHAPTER 11

M arina turned, and for a second she saw something unfamiliar darken Phillip's features. She could not put her finger on the right emotion, but he did not give her the chance to. Instead, he held his hand out to her as if he expected her to go back and take it.

"Please," he said again. "There is something I would very much like to show you."

She nodded and went to him. He held her hand in his, and they walked to the library together.

"Will you only call me Phillip when you are cross with me?" he asked as they walked.

"I beg your pardon?"

"You call me Your Grace when we are on amicable terms. You called me Phillip when you were cross." His tone did not betray him, but a stolen glance from the corner of her eye told her he was teasing her. She smiled.

"Perhaps I will."

"Very well. Then I shall call you Your Grace only when I am cross with you. And Marina when I am not."

They entered the library in better spirits than before, and Phillip took her to a bookcase that she would not have otherwise noticed. It was tucked between two larger ones. The staff did not seem to even know of its existence as there was a thick layer of dust covering the top of it. Phillip tugged at it, and it rolled out to reveal four shelves of literature. She immediately recognized a few of the titles.

"I do not have many memories of my mother," he admitted. "She perished when I was quite small. But I have these. She had this bookcase built without my father knowing so that she could read what she liked without his interference." Marina watched him trace the spines of a few of them. "She especially loved to read about romance, I think. Sometimes when I feel that I cannot remember her at all, I come here and read what she used to read. It makes me feel closer to her."

Phillip smiled, and Marina watched. She was grateful to be learning more about him and terrified that if she was too eager, he would stop talking.

"You are welcome to read them whenever you like," he added, glancing back at her. "I do not wish to be like my father."

"Like your father?" she prodded gently.

"Yes. He was strict before, but when my mother passed, he became cruel and vindictive. I will spare you the graphic details of my childhood after my mother died, but it was not a pleasant one, Marina. If I did not do, dress, say, and behave as he asked, I was punished. Severely. It enraged me. I know what the papers say about why I was away for so long, but it was he who drove me away. I did all that was within my power to forget about him. To become a kinder and gentler man than he was."

He paused, and Marina reached out for his hand, stopping short. She was not sure, yet, if they were familiar enough for this, but Phillip bridged the distance and squeezed hers in his.

"I am fearful, every day, Marina."

"What is it that makes you fearful, Phillip?"

"I fear that vengeance is the fire which fuels me. I am aware, logically, that there is no way to exact revenge on a dead man. But the wrath, it lives in my core. It burns me from the inside out."

"Oh, Phillip," she sighed. He turned to look at her, and he was transfixed by the depth of care and compassion he saw in her eyes. "I am honored that you decided to share this with me."

She reached out to grab his hand with the other so that she was now gripping it between her two, incidentally pulling him closer to her in holding her hands to her chest.

"You must know that you have already earned your revenge," she continued. "Pain inflicted upon us by others which remains within our hearts can only fester until it spreads like infection to the rest of us. Exact the remainder of your revenge in knowing that he will win if you continue to let it do so. He does not—has never—deserved your attention in this or any manner."

Phillip nodded, once, and Marina's heart skipped a beat when she saw his eyes briefly flicker from hers down to her lips then back up again. Her breath caught in her throat as he leaned forward, and they both shut their eyes.

THUD.

"Oh!" Marina brought her hands up to her face, terrified by the sudden noise. Phillip looked around for the source, standing abruptly. Then, when he saw what had disturbed them, he chuckled.

"Everything is well, Marina. It was a book which fell."

She opened her eyes, gasping in relief.

"Goodness."

"Yes," he agrees. "Perhaps it is a sign for us to retire. I apologize for taking up so much of your time when I should have insisted that you get some sleep."

Phillip was perturbed by this late-night interaction. Marina, with her gentle disposition, pretty face, and compassion, was making it difficult for him to remain unattached. If they continued like this much longer, it was only a matter of time before he truly fell for her.

"There is no need to apologize," she smiled. "I enjoyed speaking with you, but I will bid you a good night. Will I see you for breakfast in the morning?"

"Of course, Marina. You have my word."