Chapter 9

CHAPTER 9

T he house felt strangely quiet after Esther’s departure. Harriet stood by the window of the drawing room, watching her sister’s carriage disappear down the drive, feeling both comforted by her visit and anxious about the challenges ahead.

As she turned from the window, she heard the unmistakable sound of the front door opening. Simon had returned. Harriet took a deep breath, bracing herself for their next interaction. Their encounters had been filled with tension and misunderstanding, but today, she hoped for something different.

Simon entered the room, his expression unreadable as he paused in the doorway. Harriet felt a familiar tension fill the air, but she was not about to let it deter her.

“Welcome home, Your Grace,” Harriet said, her voice carefully neutral as she clasped her hands together.

Simon nodded, his gaze fixed on her with an intensity that made Harriet’s heart skip a beat. “I would much prefer if you could call me Simon.”

Simon. Using his first name implied a level of intimacy that they certainly did not share. But she did not want to turn down his request.

“As you wish,” she bowed slightly. “Welcome home, Simon.”

Now, please. Do not take issue with me calling the estate a home. He had not lived here for a whole year, and she did not want to fuel up another argument.

Simon looked between her and the staircase. As though he was contemplating whether or not to continue the conversation. Eventually, though, he must have made the decision to stay just a little bit longer.

“How was your day?”

“It was... pleasant,” Harriet replied, feeling the warmth of a blush creeping into her cheeks under his steady gaze. “My sister Esther visited.”

“Ah, I see,” Simon nodded, his interest piqued. “How is she?”

“She’s well. She has recommended a few nursemaids for Catherine,” Harriet said, watching him closely for any reaction. “I thought they might be a good fit.”

“You told her about the baby?” Simon asked but his tone was not accusatory. Rather, it was more neutral. Harriet was beginning to realize this about him — he had a knack for keeping his emotions in check.

“I did,” Harriet nodded. “You must forgive me, but I had to seek out her expertise on the matter. She raised us practically as a mother when Frances and I were young, and has children of her own. I felt that she was the best person to ask.”

Simon raised an eyebrow. “You do not have to explain yourself. I only asked if you did.”

Harriet composed herself, perhaps her nerves had gotten the best of her and she had said too much. “I felt as though you would want an explanation given the sensitivity of the topic. But it is nothing to worry about — I know Esther, she would never reveal anything I do not want her to.”

“You trust her?”

“Of course, Your— Simon,” she corrected herself swiftly. “She is my sister, and I trust her with my life.”

“I see,” he nodded, his expression once again unreadable. “Well, if that is what you believe then I have no qualms about you consulting her.”

Harriet pulled out the piece of paper on which Esther had written the details of the nursemaid. She had kept it tucked away in one of the sides of her dress. “Here. This contains the details of the nursemaid recommended by my sister.”

Simon nodded, taking the piece of paper from her hands. Their fingers brushed for a second, and Harriet felt the heat rise to her cheeks.

Compose yourself, she chided internally. But Simon did not seem to notice the change in her colour.

“This lady seems to be in Scotland,” he noted. “Are you sure that she would want to pack up her life and come and work here at the estate?”

Harriet frowned, her embarrassment now replaced with worry. “I should hope so. Esther only had high praise for her, and I want the best for little Catherine.”

Simon looked up at her as she said that, holding her gaze for a moment. Then, he folded up the paper and put it in the front of his pocket.

“Very well, then. I shall contact her, and see if something can be arranged.”

“Thank you,” Harriet said, earnestly. “That would be for the best.”

They stood there in silence once again, effectively running out of topics to speak about. She realized that it was not as though she could just ask him about his day — or God forbid, more personal questions.

It seemed like there was an invisible dividing line between them that Harriet always felt she had to be careful not to cross.

But then, Simon broke the silence. “Have you had lunch yet?”

Harriet blinked, surprised by the unexpected question. It was a simple inquiry, yet it felt oddly personal. “Yes, I took my meal with Esther.”

Simon nodded, seemingly satisfied with her answer. “Good.”

It was a small gesture — probably unwise to attach too much meaning to it — but it filled Harriet up with a warmth that she had only yearned to receive from her husband.

Before Harriet could muster the courage to ask him about his day, or perhaps thank him again, Simon turned and began to walk away.

“Simon?” she blurted out, causing him to turn around with an expression of curiosity.

“Yes?”

“I...” Harriet hesitated, unsure of what she wanted to say. “One thing that Esther advised me to do was spend time with the baby.”

Simon’s lips quirked in a brief, almost imperceptible smile. “Go on, then.”

“And… while I am doing my best to, I believe that it would be beneficial for her if you were to spend some time with her as well.” Harriet’s words were coming out rushed. “And I was…. wondering if…”

Harriet had been so busy trying to formulate the right words that she did not even notice that Simon had walked up several paces, and was now just a few inches away from her. She felt her throat dry up, and the words leave her.

What was I going to say?

It was proving rather difficult to focus when he was in this close proximity to her.

“What were you wondering, Harriet?”

The way that he put emphasis on her name sent a little shiver down her spine. Once again, she had to remind herself quickly that he did not mean anything of it, and she should not read too much into it.

“I was wondering if…” she took a deep breath to calm herself. “Well, until the nursemaid gets here, perhaps you could help me and spend some time with the baby as well?”

If the request surprised Simon, he did not let it show. Instead, he continued to study her face up close, not saying anything.

Harriet was about to retract the offer, feeling silly for overstepping when he spoke up again.

“When should I make myself available for this?”

The manner that he asked was laced with such seriousness that it almost broke through the tension of the moment, and made Harriet want to laugh.

“This evening?” she replied instead. “Little Catherine is far too small for any real activity, but perhaps we can give her a stroll in the garden.”

He nodded, his expression still serious. “I shall meet you in the garden at five this evening.”

With that, he turned around and took his leave, leaving Harriet staring at him with a mixture of relief and nerves.

Paradoxical, yes. But she was quickly finding that was a general theme when it came to her dealings with Simon.

It seemed like the fifth hour could not arrive fast enough. Harriet sat in front of her vanity, brushing her hair neatly into place when one of her maids entered.

“You look lovely, Your Grace. Are you heading out somewhere?” she asked.

Harriet shook her head, feeling an unusual shyness take over her. “Ah, not precisely. I am only going for a promenade with the duke.”

The maid’s disposition became more upbeat immediately. “Ah, that is lovely, Your Grace. Do you require any kind of assistance with your dress, or hair?”

Harriet stole once last look in the mirror, and shook her head. She had tried her hardest to look her best — even though she would never admit it out loud, she wanted to make an impression on the duke.

“As you wish, Your Grace,” the maid nodded. “You look quite lovely as it is. I cannot fathom any room for improvement.”

Harriet blinked, ignoring the compliment. She rarely knew what to say whenever people made comments on her appearance — she would much rather be appreciated for her wits, or charm.

But even so, a small part of her yearned to hear these things from the duke. Was that not something a husband was supposed to do for his wife? Their marriage had been so strange — so unlike the ones she had seen around her — that they had never had a period of courtship where he tried to win her over by showering her with compliments.

“Can you see if little Catherine is awake?” Harriet opted to instead change the subject. “If she is, please bring her down to the staircase.”

“Of course, Your Grace,” the maid exited the room swiftly.

Behind her, the clock finally struck the fifth hour and Harriet knew that it was time to go. She took a deep breath, composing herself.

All will be well. Just be confident, as you usually are.

When Harriet reached the bottom of the stairs, little Catherine and the duke were already waiting for her there. She promptly took the baby from the maid’s arms, and greeted the duke.

“Your G— Simon,” she corrected herself for the umpteenth time. Somehow, she always forgot to use his first name.

“Harriet,” his eyes raked over her figure for a moment, but quickly returned to her face. “Shall we proceed?”

Harriet nodded, holding little Catherine a little tighter. “I must say that it is great that you decided to come on time.”

“If you knew me, you would know that I am a man of my word, and have never had a tardy to my name,” he nodded as they made their way outside the doors of the estate and towards the gardens.

“That is precisely the problem,” Harriet shrugged, “that I do not know you at all.”

She could feel Simon stiffen slightly, but whatever discomfort he felt, he quickly seemed to shrug it off. “I am not sure why you are so determined to.”

Harriet felt annoyance grow inside of her. She held out her free hand in front of him, and flashed the wedding ring. “You are right. I am not sure why I would even think such a thing.”

That seemed to get a chuckle out of the duke, only adding more fuel to her annoyance.

Funny? He thinks this is funny?

“Pardon me, but I cannot fathom what you find so humorous about this situation,” she quipped.

Instead of answering, he reached out and grabbed her hand, examining her ring up close. She nearly lost her balance in the process.

“Quite intricate work,” he said, nodding at the jewel. “I should pay my respects to the jeweler.”

She retracted her hand with a huff, “Why must you act as though this is the first time that you are seeing it? Surely, you had some involvement in picking a ring for your bride.”

Simon gave her a sly smile. “Do you think?”

“I shall hope,” she pressed. “Though, it seems to be in vain. All indicators point to the fact that you did not.”

“You are quite an intelligent women,” he nodded, laughing. “But it is nothing to be offended by. I know this is something you forget often, but I am a duke, and therefore a fairly busy man. Sometimes, it is easier to delegate tasks to others.”

She glanced down at her ring again, and composed herself.

Surely, she should not get so mad about this. It was a trivial detail, anyway. And surely overshadowed by his abandonment in the first year of their marriage.

Perhaps Simon had been waiting for her to hit back with some kind of a reply, but when she did not, he broke the silence.

“Tell me, duchess. You claimed that this promenade was meant to be a chance to bond with the child. However, I do not think we have made any progress on that front…”

She sighed, bringing her attention back to little Catherine, who was now placed in a little perambulator and was enjoying the ride.

“She seems at peace outside,” Harriet’s voice softened at the admission. “Perhaps we should do this often.”

“I cannot see how the sound of us bickering is soothing to her,” Simon replied pointedly, “But perhaps she seems to enjoy fresh air.”

“Did you ever…” Harriet struggled to frame her question in the right manner, “Simon, do you have any experience with children? I am the youngest born in my family, and therefore have nothing to offer in that realm. But I have heard from the staff that you have a younger brother.”

Simon seemed to stiffen at the mention, causing Harriet’s mind to swell with curiosity.

That was a strange reaction.

And the more she thought about it, she realized how strange it was that she had never heard from this little brother, despite being married into the family for a better part of a year now.

But, just when she was about to press him for more information, he blurted out, “my brother and I only have a few years of difference in age. It hardly counts as experience, as I was a child myself,” he said.

His reply was straightforward, but Harriet could not help but feel that perhaps he was hiding something.

She slackened her shoulders, and decided that it was best to move from the topic. If they were to spend the entire time bickering, it would really take away from the purpose of bonding.

“Well, perhaps we can learn together,” she admitted, softly.

Simon observed her from the side as they walked, “Perhaps so.”

“Do you believe that you have a natural talent when it comes to dealing with children?” she asked.

Simon shrugged his shoulders. “I am afraid I have never been in a situation where I could verify. But surely, it cannot be too difficult.”

Harriet shot him a look. “Simon, you should not speak as though taking care of a child is easy work. Have you not heard the old adage? It takes an entire village to raise a child.”

“I am sure that is a way to make the process more efficient,” he maintained.

“Then, I shall like to see you try,” Harriet challenged. “Do you believe that you would be able to take care of little Catherine without the assistance of anyone?”

She could see the duke stumble on his words briefly, but then decide not to back down. “Of course.”

Harriet narrowed her eyes at him. “Are you certain? There is nothing wrong with admitting that some things are out of our skillset.”

“Please—” he held up his hand. “I am sure that it cannot be so difficult.”

“Well, then,” Harriet’s lips curled into a smile. “We shall see. One of these days, you should take care of little Catherine for some time. We shall find out then.”

Simon stopped walking, and instead held out his hand for Harriet to shake. “We have ourselves a deal.”

Deep in the garden now, their gazes met, and once again, Harriet felt as though she could lose herself within those emerald depths.

It took Catherine to make some noise to break them out of their little moment, followed by awkward coughs and pacier steps.

“The garden…” Simon said, clearing his throat. “We should continue north.”

“Uh.. um.. Yes, of course.” Harriet kept her head down, focusing on dragging the pram.

But deny as they might, the tension between them crackled like firewood. One strong blow of the wind, and it had the potential to light up in flames.