Chapter 5

CHAPTER 5

H arriet sealed the letter, and called for Mrs. Alridge.

“You must make sure that this letter is delivered to my sister at the earliest notice,” she said, handing it over to her. “I have realized that taking care of the baby is something that is well outside my ambit of experience, and I need her assistance.”

Mrs. Alridge hesitated for a moment. “Your Grace, I do not mean to meddle but I do not believe that it is wise to let others know about the baby. If news is to get out, then it could raise questions about you.”

A frown pulled on Harriet’s lips. She had not even considered what it would look like to the outside world if they knew that a strange baby had been delivered to her doorstep. Surely, they would draw the same conclusions as she did, if not worse.

“I trust Esther with my life,” Harriet said. “I believe that she will keep the news to herself. Besides, I have not told her what the emergency is, only that I need her presence here at the estate.”

Mrs. Alridge nodded, although she did not seem completely convinced. “If that is what you have decided, then I shall make sure the letter reaches the duchess at the earliest.”

“But…” Harriet started, a new concern having sprouted in her mind, “to be safe, please instruct the staff that they are not to let the news get out of the walls of the estate. I understand now how this could go awry very quickly if it were to reach the wrong ears.”

“I shall do, Your Grace.”

Mrs. Alridge exited the study with the letter, and Harriet was left alone with her thoughts once again. She knew that she could perhaps tell Esther to keep things private, but what would she do if her mother was to show up at her door?

Hiding the baby was one possibility, but considering just how loudly she cried, it would be difficult to keep her secret entirely.

Harriet slumped back onto the sofa, sinking into it as she let out a deep sigh.

When the duke had left her to her own devices, she had assumed that perhaps childbirth was not on the cards for her. While it would be something that most women be devastated by, the thought did not bother Harriet as much. She had resolved herself to believe that a life with her own self could be sufficient, if not ideal.

Now, she had a baby to take care of. If it truly was Simons’ child — which he had denied outright, but she could not help but wonder still if there was some truth to it — he would not want to abandon it, surely. And given his busy lifestyle, the onus of childcare would fall upon her eventually.

In just a few days, her life had been turned upside down. Now, she had to plan everything from the beginning again.

Simon had retired to his bedchambers early that night, exhausted by a long day of travel. He told himself that he would begin investigation on the origin of the child early tomorrow, as there was little he could do anyway once night had fallen.

But, as he lay there on his bed, he tossed and turned, unable to get a lick of sleep. He had not anticipated this obstacle to arise, and the uncertainty of the situation filled him with unease.

Finally, after the stroke of midnight, he was able to fall asleep. But his slumber was short-lived, shattered by Catherine’s cries. Simon woke abruptly, the sound piercing through the silence of the night.

“ Oh for heaven’s sake,” he muttered, irritated and got out of bed.

If he was going to get any sleep, it was best that he took matters into his own hands. Groggily rubbing his eyes, he followed the sound of the cries down the hallway, and into the nursery.

The door was cracked open slightly, indicating to him that he was not the only one who had been awoken by the disruption.

He entered the room quietly and found Harriet standing by the cradle, holding the baby.

“Hush, baby,” she whispered to her, rocking back and forth.

The sight caught Simon off-guard, and once again, stirred a strange feeling inside of him but he quashed it quickly.

“Harriet—” he started but was met with an urgent shushing.

“Don't make a sound,” she whispered, her voice firm.

Simon felt a flash of anger. No one ever spoke to him in such a manner. “You dare shush me?” he hissed back, keeping his voice low to avoid waking the baby.

Harriet shot him a warning look. “Yes, I dare. Do you want to wake her up again?”

Simon opened his mouth to retort, but Harriet’s fierce gaze stopped him.

For a moment, they stood there, gazes locked together in the dim light coming from the window. Simon let out a slow breath, his initial anger melting into something more complicated as he watched Harriet’s profile in the dim light. For the first time, he noticed how beautiful she was. Her petite frame, and her delicate features. Her hair was wrapped in a bonnet, that let him see her face properly, no longer framed by her hair. Even when not dressed in proper clothing, she seemed to have a certain magnetism about her appearance.

It took a moment for him to realize that he was staring, and he quickly looked away — ignoring the unwelcome feeling that stirred in his chest. Catherine stirred gently in her sleep, alarming them both.

“We should cover her with a blanket,” he suggested, attempting to divert his thoughts.

Harriet gave him a withering look. “Your Grace, pardon me but I do not think that you know very much about babies. She’s already comfortable. Adding another layer might disturb her.”

Simon’s jaw tightened. “I am only trying to help, Harriet. Besides, I do not see how your experience in the matter surpasses mine.”

“It does, even if it is only slightly. I’ve been taking care of her since she arrived,” she replied, not backing down.

Simon was quickly learning that Harriet was not one to back down from an argument. She stood up for herself, which was something he liked usually. But he was not used to anyone answering back to him, so it only annoyed him in her case.

“She only arrived a day ago. If you really were such an expert at childcare, she would not be crying in the first place,” he spat. “Which, might I add, disturbed my sleep.”

Harriet pressed her lips together, “My apologies. But perhaps you should have thought about the inconvenience before you decided to father a child with a paramour.”

Simon felt his blood boil. Was she going to start with this again?

“I have already told you that I have no knowledge about the origins of this child,” he whispered furiously. “Consider this your final warning, because the next time you hurl this accusation at me, I shall not be so kind.”

“Mercy me,” she replied, sardonically. “I cannot wait to find out what punishment awaits me. Surely, it cannot be worse than being left alone a day after my wedding.”

“Need I remind you that it is your fault we are in this marriage to begin with?” he said, irked. “If you had not walked into that room, and closed that door — none of this would have happened.”

Their hushed arguments caused little Catherine to stir in her sleep, and both of them froze at the spot.

“Your Grace,” Harriet whispered, looking as though she was using up her last drop of patience to compose herself. “It is best if we continue this conversation outside.”

They slowly exited the nursery, and Simon wondered if he should storm off without engaging her at all. She had already said more to him than she ought, crossing all lines.

But he decided to stay put. After all, if he was not going to teach her how to respect her husband, who would? A man had to put his foot down.

Harriet, however, seemed like she had forgotten all about their argument already. She paced the length of the hallway outside the nursery, looking worried.

“Your Grace, I do not know how we have found ourselves in this peculiar situation but I believe that bickering amongst ourselves is not going to solve anything,” she started.

Simon raised an eyebrow. Perhaps Harriet was more mature than he thought, which came as a shock to him.

“And what do you propose the solution to be?”

“For one, we must learn to put our differences aside, only if momentarily. It is clear that the baby needs constant support,” she sighed. “We need a nursemaid, someone experienced who can help us.”

Simon nodded, though his irritation still simmered. “Very well. I will find a few candidates for you to choose from.”

Harriet nodded curtly. “Thank you. It will make things easier.”

Simon turned to leave, but Harriet’s voice stopped him. “And Your Grace, we need to communicate better. This affects both of us, and it is in both of our best interests that news of this does not leave the estate.”

As irritating as she was, Simon had to admit that she had a point there. Arguing amongst themselves would only make matters worse, but that seemed impossible not to do given her tendency to answer back to him.

“Fair,” he replied through gritted teeth, “But know this — I shall not be commanded. You must amend your behaviors at once.”

Harriet’s chin lifted defiantly. “And I will not be ignored.”

With that, Simon exited to his room, leaving Harriet standing there without saying a proper farewell.

It was becoming clear to him that the woman he had married was not as meek and easily subdued as he believed. He had a long road ahead of him.

Harriet stole once last glance at the nursery, before retiring to her own bedchambers. Her mind was a mess, especially after the little argument with Simon. She realized that this seemed to be the norm for them.

In all her conversations with him, they had ended up bickering in some way or another. Of course, it was not as though they had many conversations to begin with. Still, the realization was startling.

So much for marital bliss, she thought to herself as she sat on the edge of her bed.

Despite her anger, she couldn’t ignore the fact that he had agreed to find a nursemaid. It was a small victory — she had half expected him to refuse her request entirely.

What do I do now? she thought, lifting her head and staring at the ornate mirror across the room. Her reflection looked back at her, tired and troubled. She ran a hand through her hair, trying to organize her thoughts.

Simon had been gone for longer than he had been present. That alone was reason enough for her reaction. She barely knew anything about him, let alone what irked him. But she knew she had to find a way to coexist with Simon, not just for her sake, but for Catherine’s as well.

I need to understand him, she realized. We are both trapped in this situation, and fighting each other won’t help. Harriet sighed deeply, feeling the weight of the task ahead.

Lying back on her bed, Harriet pulled back the covers and slipped beneath them, the cool sheets a small comfort. She closed her eyes, willing her mind to quieten down. Tomorrow, she would start afresh.

In the uncertainty of it all, she could only hope for a miracle.