Chapter 29

CHAPTER 29

T he atmosphere in Atherton House was tense. Harriet and Simon were in the drawing room, the quiet after the emotionally charged dinner.

Emma had visited them again. It had been a few days since the dinner.

“I have come here to bid farewell to Catherine,” she said.

The rims of her eyes were red. It was clear that she had been crying all night.

Harriet felt her heart strain at the sight. Her brilliant plan had not worked after all. She had failed in trying to bring Tobias and Emma together.

“We will do whatever we can to ensure that Catherine has a good future in store for her,” Harriet promised the young mother.

The three of them were on their way to nursery, halfway on the staircase when the front doors burst open, and Tobias rushed in, his eyes wide with frantic energy.

He looked disheveled, as though he had rushed over here on foot, or solo on his horse.

“I was told that she was here….”

His gaze swept the room until it landed on Emma.

“Emma!” Tobias called out, his voice hoarse with urgency. The fear and desperation in his tone stopped her in her tracks.

Tobias crossed the room in quick strides, stopping only when he was directly in front of Emma. His breath was uneven, his chest rising and falling as he tried to find the words he had been too afraid to say for so long.

“Emma… I must speak to you now,” Tobias began, his voice shaking.

He had never sounded more terrified before. Harriet looked over to Simon, who passed her a knowing look. Both of them knew better than to interfere.

“Wh-what are you doing here?” Emma managed to croak out.

“I’ve been a fool, and I don’t deserve your forgiveness, but I need you to hear me out.”

Emma’s eyes softened, though they were still guarded. She looked towards Harriet, who nodded in encouragement.

Tobias ran a hand through his hair, his fingers trembling.

He glanced over at Simon and Harriet, as if seeking strength from their presence before returning his gaze to Emma.

“I’ve been running my whole life, Emma. Running from responsibility, from commitment, from love. Because I was scared — scared that I would end up like him.”

He didn’t need to say who “him” was, but Simon stiffened up immediately at the mention.

That was when Harriet knew, as well, who he was talking about.

The late duke.

His reputation as a rake was well-known, and it had cast a long shadow over Tobias’s and Simon’s life.

“All my life, I’ve believed that love doesn’t last,” Tobias continued, his voice cracking. “I thought that the only way to be with a woman was for one night, because anything more would just end in heartbreak and betrayal. That’s what I saw growing up. That’s what I believed.”

Emma’s expression softened, though she was still guarded.

“Tobias, why are you telling me these things now?”

“Because…” Tobias stepped forward. “I have barely been able to sleep since that dinner, since I saw you with that man. Truthfully, I have been trying to forget you for months now… but I am learning that it is impossible to do.”

Emma’s breath caught in her throat.

“But I was too scared to admit it — to you or to myself….”

Tears welled in Emma’s eyes, but she didn’t speak just yet.

Everyone in the room could see the vulnerability in Tobias, the raw honesty that he was baring in front of everyone.

It was touching.

“Is that why you never wrote to me?” Emma finally spoke, her breath shaky.

“I was a coward,” Tobias admitted, his voice filled with regret. “I ran because I was terrified of loving you. Terrified that I would hurt you the way my father hurt my mother. But if the last few days have taught me anything….. I was wrong, Emma. I was so wrong.”

Harriet and Simon exchanged a look.

He had finally realized it.

He took a step closer, reaching out to take her hands in his. “I love you, Emma. I think I understand this now…. I… I want not to be absent anymore. From your life, or Catherine’s.”

Emma’s breath hitched.

“I know that I am far too late, and that you are set to be married. I seem to be late for everything in my life — but I have finally realized what I need to do…”

Tobias stepped forward, his voice barely above a whisper. “Marry me, Emma. Let me prove to you that I can be the man you deserve — the father Catherine deserves. I know I don’t deserve it, but I’m asking you to give me a chance.”

For a moment, the room was silent, the weight of Tobias’s confession hanging in the air.

Then, Emma let out a choked sob, her emotions overwhelming her as she threw her arms around Tobias, burying her face in his chest.

“Yes,” she whispered through her tears, her voice thick with emotion. “Yes, Tobias, I’ll marry you.”

Tobias let out a breath as he wrapped his arms around her, holding her.

Harriet and Simon watched the scene unfold. They exchanged a glance, a silent understanding passing between them.

This was the moment they had hoped for — the moment when Tobias finally stepped up and embraced the love he had been so afraid to accept.

“Perhaps the both of you should go and see baby Catherine,” Harriet suggested. “She surely must miss her parents.”

Tobias nodded. All four of them entered the nursery, and it was Emma who picked up her daughter.

“Here she is…”

Tobias looked at his daughter and then reached out to gently stroke Catherine’s cheek, his hands trembling.

“This is what matters…” Tobias whispered.

Harriet felt her own tears welling up as she watched the tender moment between Tobias, Emma, and Catherine. She wiped them away quickly, trying to compose herself.

Simon noticed the tears in Harriet’s eyes and gently placed a hand on her back, offering silent support. Harriet turned to him, her expression one of bittersweet resolve.

“Shall we give them a moment to themselves?” Simon leaned in to whisper in her ear.

Harriet nodded, “Yes.”

They both left the nursery.

“Harriet, I have to say that your method worked flawlessly…” Simon turned to look at Harriet.

He was in a playful mood, but the smile got wiped from his face when he saw the stormy expression on his wife’s face.

“Something happened?”

She tore her gaze away, “I must tell you something.”

Simon waited for her to speak, his anxiety amping up at this sudden anticipation.

“I’ll be in your room tonight.”

“Oh.” Simon’s heart lurched at her words.

He knew what she meant, knew that she was referring to the offer he had made her — the offer to give her a child before he left her for good. The offer had been made in a moment of despair, when he had been too afraid to confront his own feelings for her.

Harriet continued, “I know you’ll want to leave as soon as possible after all of this. So let’s get it over with, shall we?”

Simon’s chest tightened. He wanted to tell her no, wanted to tell her that he didn’t want to leave her, that he couldn’t bear the thought of her being alone again. But the fear of heartbreak — the fear of becoming like his father — held him back.

He had more in common with his brother than he thought.

It’s better to be lonely than heartbroken , he reminded himself, the mantra that had guided him for so long now feeling hollow and empty.

Simon struggled to find the words, his throat tight with emotion. He wanted to say something that would make things better but could not figure out what.

Instead, he simply nodded, his heart breaking as he watched Harriet turn and walk away.

As Harriet left for her room, Simon’s gaze followed her.

He had always prided himself on his control, on his ability to keep his feelings in check. But now, standing in the midst of the emotional storm that had unfolded before him, he felt that control slipping away.

Distract yourself.

Simon turned his attention back to Tobias and Emma, and peeked inside the nursery. They were still wrapped in each other’s arms, their love for each other and for their daughter shining through them.

It was a scene of pure, unguarded emotion, and it made Simon realize just how much he had been holding back.

This is what he was missing in his own life.

Quickly, he stopped watching them. Harriet now gone, Simon felt a pang of regret deep in his chest. He wanted to chase after her, to tell her that he didn’t want to be lonely, that he didn’t want her to be lonely either. He wanted to tell her that he would stay, that he would be the husband she deserved. But the fear that had been his constant companion for so long kept him rooted in place.

Don’t let her go, a voice inside him urged, but he could not yet find the courage to act on it.

Simon turned away from the door, his expression hardening.

Finally, Tobias and Emma emerged from inside the nursery. They were all smiles, though Simon could see traces of old tears on their faces.

Distract yourself.

“Congratulations,” Simon said quietly, his voice tinged with sadness as he forced himself to focus on Tobias and Emma. “You’ve made the right choice.”

Tobias looked up at Simon, his eyes filled with gratitude. “Thank you, Simon. For everything. I don’t know if I would have had the courage to do this without you.”

Simon nodded, though the words felt hollow in his throat. He had given Tobias the courage to confess his love, but in doing so, he had lost his own chance at happiness.

Emma smiled at Simon, her eyes still glistening with tears. “We’re going to be a family, Your Grace. A real family. And we have you and the duchess to thank for that.”

Simon forced a smile, but his heart wasn’t in it. “You’re going to be a wonderful family,” he said quietly. “Catherine is lucky to have both of you.”

Tobias and Emma exchanged a glance.

Once again, as Simon watched them, his chest tightened with the realization that he had never allowed himself to have what they had — to feel the kind of love that could heal even the deepest wounds.

“I shall get you back home,” Tobias said to Emma. They were chatting with each other, and then disappeared down the hallway, their voices fading into the distance. The house was quiet now, the only sound being the faint ticking of the clock on the wall.

With a heavy heart, Simon turned and walked back towards his own room, the weight of what lay ahead pressing down on him. He knew what he had to do — knew that he had to fulfill the promise he had made to Harriet. But the thought of what that meant, of the future he had resigned himself to, filled him with a deep sadness.

As he reached his door, Simon paused, his hand resting on the doorknob. He could feel the pull of his emotions, the longing to be with Harriet, to tell her that he didn’t want to leave her, that he couldn’t bear the thought of her being alone. But the fear, the doubt, the memories of his father’s failures, held him back.

With a heavy sigh, Simon pushed open the door and stepped inside. The room was dark, the only light coming from the moonlight streaming through the window. Simon walked to the window and stared out at the garden below, his mind racing with thoughts of what could have been — of the life he might have had if he had been brave enough to reach for it.

But as the minutes ticked by, Simon felt the resolve harden within him. He couldn’t risk it — couldn’t risk becoming like his father, couldn’t risk hurting Harriet in the way his father had hurt his mother. It was better to be lonely than to break her heart.