Chapter 2

CHAPTER 2

T he carriage ride back home was spent in tense, uncomfortable silence. Harriet did not want to make a scene in front of the driver, but as soon as they entered their home, she whirled around, her blue eyes blazing with anger.

“How could you, Mother?” she demanded. “You were behind all of this.”

Albina’s face remained calm, though her eyes showed a flicker of guilt. “Harriet, you must understand, I did this for your own good.”

“For my own good ?” Harriet replied, baffled. “What mother sees the good in smearing her own daughter’s reputation?”

“My intention was never to smear,” Albina’s tone turned defensive. “You should think twice of accusing me of such a thing.”

“Then, please. Pray tell, Mother. What good did you think could come of me being alone with an unwed duke?” Harriet asked, running a frustrated hand through her hair.

Over the years, she had seen her mother act in strange ways. But surely this stunt took the biscuit for the most absurd one of them all.

What on earth was she thinking?

Albina sighed, her patience wearing thin. “My original plan was simply to have you spend some time with the duke. I never intended for it to become a scandal, but it did, and now we must make the best of it.”

“The best of what?” Harriet repeated, “The duke does not stand to suffer much in this scenario, and you know it. It is I who must bear the brunt of society’s judgment.”

Harriet often thought about how unfair it was that only women suffered the consequences of being embroiled in a scandal, while men were able to go off scot-free for the most part. It was a testament to how unequally society treated each gender — something with which Harriet had always taken issue.

“The duke is an honorable man,” Albina defended. “I am certain that he’ll do right by you.”

“Here you are, defending someone whom you do not even know. What about your daughter? Do you not care at all?”

Sentiments had gotten quite intense during their argument, the raised voices making William — Harriet’s father and the Earl of Ramsbury — come out of his room.

“What is going on, here?” his voice boomed loudly across the room as he made his entrance. He had his arms folded in front of him, looking at both mother and daughter with groggy disappointment.

“Mother has?—”

Albina cut her off halfway, “Do you hear in what tone your daughter is speaking to me? I understand that you have always been more lax when it comes to dealing with her attitude, but surely you must put your foot down sometime, William.”

Harriet stared at her own mother in disbelief. Was she really complaining of her being a bad daughter when she had done something no mother should? She looked to her father, wondering if he would speak some sense into her mother but he was in no mood.

“Is it true what your mother is saying?” he demanded.

“It is true to the extent that she was behind it,” Harriet replied, gruffly.

“That does not answer my question. Is it true that you were discovered unchaperoned with a gentleman?” his voice raised considerably.

Harriet nodded, begrudgingly.

“Then, you have no right to defend yourself. You should have known better,” he said. “You should have never put yourself in that situation.”

“But father, can you not see that it was not my fault?” Harriet found herself at a loss — neither of her parents were willing to see her side of things.

That signaled to her that perhaps she had gotten herself into more trouble than she had ever before. Usually, she was able to talk her way out of a bad situation.

But this time, if her parents were being this harsh, then society would be doubly so. Had she finally found herself in a situation that she could not talk her way out of?

“Harriet, you must go to your room,” he commanded.

“That is wildly unfair. I cannot?—”

“Harriet,” he warned, mincing no words. “Do as you are told.”

“Fine,” she huffed, and turned to leave.

Harriet finally went upstairs to her room, a sinking feeling in her stomach.

That night, Harriet had a fitful and restless sleep. She tossed and turned, but no amount of shifting could dispel the anxiety that was brewing inside of her.

When she finally rose from her bed, the sun was well into the sky. Harriet knew she was late, but the dread of facing her parents again made her linger. Eventually, she dressed and made her way downstairs.

“She is awake,” she heard her mother say.

“Harriet, dear,” it was William’s turn to speak now. “Might we have a word with you in the drawing room?”

Harriet sucked in a deep breath, bracing herself. “Good morning, Mama and Papa.”

“Take a seat.” William gestured at the empty sofa in front of him, in which Harriet reluctantly took a seat. The way that her parents were eyeing her made her believe that something had transpired in her absence. They looked unbelievably calm for two people whose daughter had been caught with a stranger only the night before.

Harriet gulped loudly, crossing her legs out in front of her. “Is everything well?”

William’s expression softened slightly, but his voice remained firm. “We have news. The Duke of Atherton was here first thing this morning.”

Harriet’s heart began to thump wildly inside of her chest. “What did he say?”

“You lucky, lucky girl,” Albina answered, barely able to contain her smile. “He has asked for your hand in marriage.”

Harriet could barely register the shock, “Marriage? When do I have to give him an answer?”

“Do not be silly. Considering the gravity of your situation, your father and I already expressed our approval on your behalf. You shall be married by the end of the week.”

Harriet felt as though someone had pulled the rug from between her feet. “What…what do you mean I shall be married by the end of the week?”

“It is a good match,” William nodded. “Certainly up to the standard. As a duke, he shall provide for you well and I have no reservations with the union.”

“Neither do I,” Albina clapped her hands together, “In fact, this is what I wanted to begin with.”

Harriet felt her hands shake. How easily had her parents just decided her fate for her — and she had not even been consulted.

“Harriet, wipe that frown off your face,” Albina chided. “You should appear happier about the news of your match. Surely, the other girls are going to be envious that you have managed to secure yourself a match with a duke.”

“How can you decide my future so quickly? This isn’t what I wanted and this scandal was not even my fault.” Harriet’s voice was weaker than she had anticipated. Her head was spinning, unable to come to grips with what had been so casually revealed to her.

“We are your parents, and have only your best interests at heart,” William nodded, his gaze hardening. “The duke is a respectable man, and this marriage will surely secure your future.”

Harriet shook her head. “Is it in my best interest to thrust me into a marriage of convenience with a man I barely know?”

Harriet’s heart sank, a wave of despair washing over her as the reality of the situation settled in. How could everything she had ever dreamed of for her future be decided in an instant, without her say? The weight of her parents' decision pressed heavily on her chest and tears pricked at the corners of her eyes as she struggled to keep her composure.

“Your sisters had marriages of convenience, and they are happy. You will be, too,” Albina replied. “Quite frankly, I should get them to talk some sense into you. You are being ungrateful.”

Harriet’s voice rose with desperation. “You can’t just decide this for me! The duke is a stranger,” she remembered how stiff he was in her presence, and how easily he had accused her of entrapping him. “How do you know that he will make a good husband?”

William’s voice was unyielding. “You will do as you are told, Harriet. This is the best thing that could happen to you. You are nearly a spinster, and the duke is a most suitable match.”

Tears of frustration welled up in Harriet’s eyes. “You don’t understand. I want to marry for love, not out of convenience or societal pressure.”

Albina’s expression softened, but only slightly. “Sometimes, love follows duty. You will learn to care for him, just as your sisters did with their matches.”

Harriet shook her head, her heart aching with the weight of their words. She was about to walk away, her spirit crushed, when her mother spoke again.

“Don’t worry, dear,” Albina said, her voice filled with forced cheerfulness. “I am more than happy to help you with the wedding arrangements.”

Harriet did not bother answering, and hurried upstairs, tears pricking her eyes.

She had been betrayed by her own parents — the two people who were meant to love and care for her unconditionally.

That night, Harriet cried in her bed, feeling alone in the confines of her own house. But when she woke up the next morning, she decided that she could not let emotion rule her actions.

She had been thrust into a situation that she had not wanted, but now she had to deal with it. And so, Harriet’s heart grew blunt around the edges, making her numb to the whole scenario. She felt detached as the days drew nearer and nearer.

And, on the day of her wedding, as she stood in the chapel with her husband-to-be, she could have sworn that it was someone else’s wedding entirely. Because surely, it did not feel like her own.

Simon Wylde, the Duke of Atherton, stood beside her, his posture rigid and formal. As the priest recited the vows, Harriet’s gaze drifted towards her soon-to-be husband. For the first time, she truly looked at him. His dark hair was neatly combed, his strong jawline and high cheekbones giving him an air of stern elegance. His amber-green eyes, though cold, held a certain intensity that was hard to ignore.

To her shock, she found herself mesmerized by the sight of him. It was the first time that she had seen him properly, their only other acquaintance having been when they had met in the dark orangery — the meeting that caused this chain of events to transpire.

He was… dare she say it… handsome.

But just as quickly, her thoughts turned bitter. This man, who had so carelessly decided her fate without a single word to her, was now to be her husband. The anger bubbled up inside her again, and she had to remind herself to breathe evenly.

Simon turned his head slightly and their eyes met. She was not sure how a new husband was supposed to look at his newly wedded wife, but his expression did not seem one of affection.

“By the power vested in me, I pronounce you — man and wife.”

The minister’s announcement pulled her out of her thoughts.

Man and wife, wedded together for eternity.

For better…or for worse.

And before she knew it, Harriet found herself on the completely silent carriage ride to Simon’s estate with her new husband. Harriet stared out of the window, her thoughts a tangled mess. Simon made no effort to strike up a conversation with her either.

Was this how things were going to be between them? Co-existing, like two perfect strangers? The thought sent her stomach into a tangle of knots, and she had to steady herself by holding onto the side of the carriage.

When they reached the estate, Simon got out of the carriage before her.

He extended his hand towards her, his palm open and inviting. The gesture caught Harriet by surprise — it was unexpectedly considerate. Her breath hitched in her throat, and for a moment, she simply stared at his outstretched hand

Tentatively, she placed her hand in his but all she could manage to say was a breathy, “Th-thank you.”

He seemed to have a much better hold on his emotions, as he merely nodded in acknowledgement.

They proceeded towards the estate — the walk itself was quite long, which was another new thing for her. Her own walkway in Ramsbury Manor had been fairly short, and this was nearly three times longer.

But soon, they reached the front door where a whole cohort of house staff awaited them — maids, butlers, and gardeners. They greeted the new couple with polite bows and curtsies.

“I would like to introduce everyone to Harriet, the new duchess,” Simon spoke up. “Everyone here must ensure that each one of her needs is met carefully, to her liking.”

Harriet wondered if this was his way of expressing affection, but then realized that it was all too convenient that he was leaving her in the care of his staff.

So when she followed him inside the estate, away from the listening ears of the staff, she decided to confront him finally.

“I believe that the staff can take over from here,” he said, turning on his heel to leave.

A flush of panic rose inside her at the action.

“Where are you going?” she demanded, her voice shaking slightly.

Simon paused, his back still to her. “This is where we part ways, Harriet,” he said, his tone cold and detached. “I married you to save your reputation and fulfil my duty. But I will not stay with a stranger.”

Harriet’s heart pounded as she stepped forward. “What do you mean? What will happen to me?”

Simon turned to face her, his expression unreadable. “You will be free to live your life however you wish. As long as you do not ruin my reputation or interfere with my affairs, you are free to do as you please. Spend as much money as you want. You will have your freedom.”

Harriet was stunned. This was part of what she had wanted — freedom. Yet the cold, detached manner in which Simon spoke made it feel like a hollow victory. “So that’s it?” she asked, her voice barely above a whisper. “You’re just going to leave?”

“Yes,” Simon replied, stepping closer to her. Harriet instinctively backed away until she felt the wall against her back. He stopped inches from her, his gaze intense. “I will be gone by dawn. Do not try to contact me unless it is a matter of life or death.”

“A matter of life or death?” she repeated.

“Yes, I hope that you take that seriously. I shall not be returning for anything less than that.”

Funny. Harriet thought to herself. Was she going to have to get herself gravely injured just to get a speck of attention from her husband?

He moved closer to her, his intense gaze piercing through hers. “Have I made myself clear? Or are you in need for further explanation?”

Up close, she could see the little specks of orange in his otherwise emerald eyes. For a couple that had just been married a few hours ago, a moment like this could pass as romantic to the unsuspecting passerby.

Her heart felt like it was going to beat out of her chest. The tension between them was palpable, and for a brief moment, she felt something shift inside her — fear, anger, confusion, and something else she couldn’t quite identify.

Simon’s voice softened slightly, but the edge remained. “I am allowing you a unique opportunity. You are free from the judgmental gaze of society, as you are from the expectations from your family. Here, you may live life as you wish. Free. Do not squander it.”

It was something that Harriet had wanted her whole life, but not like this. How long had she dreamt about having her freedom? She had never been one to want marriage, so this arrangement should have been perfect for her.

So why was it that she did not want this at all? She glanced down at the ring on her finger, reminding herself that she was now married.

And with marriage came a different sort of life — one that was meant to be spent with a husband. This did not seem right.

“I do not know if I want this,” she protested, albeit meekly.

“It does not matter what you want,” the duke’s words were stiff. “I do not have to cater to those needs. I did not want to get married like this either.”

His words stung, but she did not let it show. Showing weakness when they were practically strangers felt wrong.

“Then, why did you?” she asked. “You could have left me to a life of ruin! Society would have eventually forgiven you — they always do. Why did you subject yourself to this?”

He was silent.

“Tell me, Your Grace,” Harriet felt her own patience wearing thin.

“I am not someone who could live with themselves if I knew that I had ruined your chances at finding a match,” he admitted quietly.

She stared back at him. “So, this is merely just a duty to you?”

“You can call it that,” he nodded, his voice devoid of any emotion.

“When does a duty begin feeling like a burden, then, Your Grace?” Her own voice cracked as she said the words. She had tried hard to keep herself from showing emotion, but it had not worked.

“You do not have to be ridiculous, neither so dramatic,” Simon reeled himself back in. “It is no burden for me to care for you.”

Harriet wanted to point out to him that care was not just measured in finances. But she held back. She did not want to imply to him that she desired a romantic love from him. That would make her appear too needy — and it would be far too embarrassing for her to admit, even though a small part of her desired that very thing.

“And…” her own voice trembled under his intense gaze, “What about you? Where will you go?”

Simon’s expression hardened. “That is none of your concern. We made an agreement, and I intend to uphold my part of it.”

Simon’s eyes flickered with a hint of something — regret, perhaps? But it was gone as quickly as it appeared. “It is better this way. For both of us.”

With that, he turned and walked away, leaving Harriet standing alone. There was nothing she could do to stop him, nor make him change his mind.

And when she woke in the morning, he had upheld his promise. He had gone, leaving Harriet alone in a large estate to assume her new role as a duchess.

All alone.

How has this become my life?