Chapter 17

Mary Anna stared into nothing. In her mind, she could see Chris leaving and walking out of the restaurant. Would she see him again? She had to believe she would, but fear and doubt attacked her. She glanced at Sheila and saw the same fear on her friend's face.

The anxious knot in her stomach prevented her from finishing breakfast. Mary Anna felt compelled to pray for Chris, yet she wasn't sure of her own faith. The turmoil in her mind spun her in different directions.

If Chris didn't go after Drake and his gang, they would have nothing. If he did, he could be injured or killed. Paul had gone off to war and never returned. Everything was so unsettled. How she thought she could go across the country and marry someone she didn't know and thought that things would be better, she didn't know.

She'd only traded known problems for unknown troubles. Mary Anna glanced at Sheila. She was chasing her eggs around the plate but not eating either.

"Mary Anna, I can't stand the waiting. It's going to be a long day. It will be Christmas in two weeks."

Mary Anna's eyes widened. "Christmas. I'd forgotten." She used to love Christmas. Her family would gather, sing hymns, and give presents. But that was years ago. The war had changed that, too.

But now, there was no family, no house, no joy. This Christmas wasn't going to be any different. The man she loved had ridden off. He was going into dangerous territory to win her money and give her a house and a ranch.

Again, she was to sit at home and wait. It hadn't taken long the last the time. Within a month, she had gotten word that Paul was dead. This time, it would be even shorter. Either they'd be back within a few days, or she'd never see Chris alive again.

Tears fell on her cheeks and slid down her face. She'd prayed before, but Paul still died. Her heart begged her to pray. To trust and believe.

Sheila stood. "I want to pray. I don't know what to do."

"Alice has a strong faith. We can go to her house and ask her how to pray. I need Chris to come back to me."

Sheila nodded. "Do you think she'll mind if I come along?"

Mary Anna took her hand and pulled her toward the door. "I know she'll welcome you. She likes you and enjoyed your company the other night." It was Alice who had brought her to Abilene and her idea to stand as a proxy bride to an unknown man.

Sheila grabbed her shawl. "I hope Jake will come back. He's so wild. I worry about him."

"Alice will know how to pray." Mary Anna wrapped her cloak around her and opened the door. A cold blast of wind met her.

"Ooh, it's getting cold. I hope Jake has his coat and gloves. The man doesn't look after himself properly." Sheila grinned. "He needs me just as much as I need him. I think he finally figured that out."

It wasn't long before they knocked on Alice's door. She opened it and welcomed them into the warmth of her home. "It turned cold last night, but it makes it feel more like Christmas."

Mary Anna nodded, not willing to confess she'd barely even thought of the holiday. There'd been nothing in her life to make her think of the gift God had given them.

Alice took their outer garments and hung them up. "You look troubled, Mary Anna. Is something wrong?"

She nodded. "Chris and Jake have gone after Drake to bring him back for the reward."

"Steve is with the posse, too."

"No, Chris and Jake went alone. Chris said he thought he knew where Drake was going, and it wasn't to the north. I'm so worried. I finally realized that I love him, and now it's like the war all over again. You know I lost Paul to the first battle." Mary Anna let the tears go and sobbed.

Alice put a hand over her arm. "Let's go in the parlor. I'll get us some hot tea, and then we can pray."

While Alice was gone, Sheila sat down and looked at Mary Anna. "I feel so out of place. Maybe I should go."

Mary Anna shook her head. "Stay. You can pray, too."

Sheila moved closer to her and whispered. "You know what I've been. Alice won't want me around, much less God."

Alice walked in with the tea. "I hope you don't mind, but I heard that conversation. Sheila, the Lord desires all to come to Him, and you are always welcome in my house."

"But I've done things. Bad things."

Alice held Sheila's hand. "Ask, and the Lord will forgive you and welcome you into His family and eternal life."

"You make it sound so simple."

"It is by faith. God came for those of us who need saving. Sometimes, it takes us a while to understand we are lost and blind without Him. Once we do and confess our sins, the Lord forgives us. The wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ."

Sheila looked at Alice. "That's it? I just have to believe?"

"That's it. Now, let's pray for our men to return safely."

Mary Anna took Alice's hand. "There are no guarantees that they will come back safe, though. I prayed for Paul, and he died."

Alice patted Mary Anna's hand. "We are assured of eternal life. The Lord has our days numbered, and we don't know when we are to be called home, only that we have a heavenly home to go to that is blessed and good. We need to put our will and desires under the Lord's. He will take care of us and those we love as He sees fit. We can trust Him."

Mary Anna wondered if she could trust her will to the Lord. Yet she knew that was what she had to do. She had to trust the Lord in His goodness and all-knowing power that He could be trusted.

Faith. Isn't that what she'd always seen in Alice? Now, as she looked at her two friends, she had a knowing in her heart. That the Lord would be with them and with their men. They would not be alone.

She gave up her fears and doubts, trusting in the Lord by faith. They prayed. They asked for protection for the men. And Mary Anna knew the Lord was with them all. Finally, she was dwelling in the shadow of the Almighty, and her fears and doubts were melting away.