Chapter 22

It didn't take long for Avy's absence to translate into mistakes.

At least three times they found their chosen trail leading into unpassable brush. It forced them afield. Ren thought it was a product of the changing landscape around them, but it quickly became clear that Avy had been guiding them away from similar choke points during the first few days of the hike.

Their path also started to undulate. A few downhills at first, but each one was always followed by a difficult incline. No one complained. Ren thought that had to do with knowing what pursued them and the consequences of slowing down. The group considered pressing on through the night but eventually agreed that their progress in the dark would be minimal. Not to mention, they'd be making a great deal of noise that might attract nocturnal predators. It was safer to make camp and post a rotating guard.

Ren built the fire up the same way she'd seen Avy do it. Everyone helped gather firewood and kindling, doing their best not to stray too far from one another. Ren was making one last pile of smaller sticks when she spied Cora staring off into the woods. She thought there might be something out there—a predator that had forced her to stillness—but when she maneuvered to where Cora was standing, she saw the girl was simply lost in thought.

"I can't believe he's dead," Cora whispered to Ren. "My grandmother was part Tusk. When I was little, one of my cousins died. Just… the kind of death that should never have happened. Not to someone that young. My grandmother tried to comfort me. She explained that the Tusk believe that God is the land, and dying simply means returning to God. It sounded nice then.…"

Ren stood in silence, unsure of what to say. The afterlife was not her best subject.

"I'm just not sure I really believe in any of that. I've spent a lot of time with dead bodies. They never seem to be communing with God. They just seem to be bodies. And I—I don't know what that means for Avy. He's not coming back. He'll never…" Cora shook her head. "He was my only friend."

"I don't have any answers. Except for the last thing you mentioned. He wasn't your only friend, Cora."

Cora let out a pathetic snort. Ren set a firm hand on the girl's shoulder.

"You are not alone, Cora. Not out here. Not when we get back to Balmerick."

Cora's expression steeled when she heard that. All they could do out here was offer each other what little strength they still possessed. Ren nodded once before returning to the fire. Everyone settled in, doing their best to take in the warmth of the flickering flames. Theo finished up with the wards.

"I adjusted the tripwire spell. Cast it out wider. Hopefully it gives us more time to react."

Ren nodded. "Smart."

"I've set a few traps," Cora added. "If we catch something, we can cook it tomorrow. Avy had all the nuts in his bag. It might help if we can forage as we go. He mentioned trying to eat a big meal before hitting the actual mountain passes. I agree with that assessment. Food will be scarce up there."

"That makes sense. Let's get some rest."

It was easier to say the words than it was to achieve the goal itself. Ren tossed and turned that night. She had always kept her mind organized and tidy. There was a place for every detail and every fact. But something had been altered. Every time she traced back for the source of that feeling, it felt like touching her tongue to a broken tooth. She'd wince at the pain, resettle her mind, and try to figure it out again. Eventually a begrudging sleep came.

And Ren found herself being dragged into dream, into memory.…

She maneuvered through a small market in the Merchant Quarter. She had her father's lunch, a tavana roll with cream, wrapped in delicately thin paper and tucked under one arm. Her mother had started trusting her with small tasks like this. It gave Ren a chance to see more of the city. The delight of it was twofold. First, it felt rather adult to walk all on her own, with no one to watch or check on her. She felt she could have walked wherever she wanted. But there was also unexpected joy in completing a task.She loved trying to find the fastest route to wherever her father happened to be working. Ren walked and tried to ignore the tingle down her spine. The sense that someone was following her, tracing her footsteps.

Today she was headed for the canal site. There'd been tension at home the last few months. Ren knew that her parents' arguments always had to do with work. She caught snatches of their conversations. Poor conditions at their current job. Her father had taken it upon himself to spearhead an effort against their employer. Apparently, it had worked. She'd heard him singing that morning as he helped her mother wash clothes. It was the happiest she'd seen him in months.

She found him waiting by the bridge. It was a pretty thing, stretching halfway across to its intended partner on the other side of the canal. Her father was always busy, always moving, always talking. She loved the way he stopped dead in his tracks, though, the moment he spied her waiting. The way he set down everything in his arms to sweep her into a hug. She handed him the roll. He winked down at her. She saw the quiet pride that he felt in simply standing beside his daughter in front of all the other workers. Her final glimpse was of him walking across that bridge with the others. He held his head high. He kept his shoulders straight.

A king without a crown.

Her vision of him flickered. She felt it again. A presence. This time a shadowed hand settled on her shoulder. The grip sank into her skin like sharpened teeth. She was forced to walk to the edge. Forced to witness it all over again. The shadowed figure placed her hands on the railing. He arranged her stance like a doll. Ren was forced to watch the part of this memory that her mind had worked so hard to block for so long.

A violent rumble. The stones of the bridge giving way. How their screams tangled in the dust-thick air. She could only stand there and watch as the blood spread. Her father's body was easy to find, bent wrongways in the belly of the canal. She felt the grip on her shoulder tighten again, but before she could turn…

Ren gasped awake. The fire was low. The forest around them shadowed but motionless. She shook herself, blinking rapidly. A dream. It was just a dream. She turned onto her other side and closed her eyes, trying to put up those old barriers in her mind. Anything to keep the worst memory of her life behind the mental bars of its cage.

She never fell asleep fully after that. Her only comfort was in the restless turning of the others. A shifting of bodies. A rustle of clothing. A cleared throat.

Reminders that she wasn't alone.