Yeah, That Didnt Work.

Chapter 3Yeah, That Didn’t Work.

Heron~I really wasn’t sure how much more of this I could take. The fan was giving off the perfect steady hum of noise, there was no light filtering through any curtains, and the thermostat was ideally set for the end of May in California. The stage was set for a perfect night’s sleep, but my eyes were wide the fuck awake again, and I knew that I needed to nip this in the bud before July. I couldn’t be running into burning buildings on little to no sleep.Grabbing my phone off the nightstand again, I saw that it was only ten o’clock, but that was late for someone that wasn’t sleeping. I really didn’t want to see a doctor for the insomnia, but I knew that the window on that option was closing rather quickly.Pulling up social media, I saw a notification, letting me know that a What’s Next? live feed was about to begin. It took me only two seconds to remember what the site was about, but as soon as I remembered, I tuned into the channel, eager to see what tonight’s episode was about.When the channel came to life, the pretty brunette was standing in her kitchen again, all her baking necessities sprawled out on the counter in front of her. From the ingredients laid out and the baking sheet on the counter, my guess was that she was going to try cookies again, and I found myself smiling at my phone.Though half of her body was concealed by the countertop, she looked to be around five-foot-three or so, if her kitchen was the same standard measurements as most homes. Her dark auburn hair was piled high on her head, and with only a few whisps of strays framing her face, there was nothing blocking her beauty from her viewers. Those big brown eyes were adorned with the barest of makeup, and they sat below two perfectly arched brows. Her nose was petite and slightly upturned, and her complexion looked flawless underneath two rosy cheeks. Her lips also looked like they could suck chrome off a bumper, and that was even as she smiled sweetly for the camera.Now, while I could only see her from the waist up, and she was wearing an apron, it was obvious that the woman had curves. The apron looked to be straining against her chest, and if I’d had to guess, I’d say that her tits were more than a handful. Based on how her apron was tied around her waist, her hips looked wide and inviting. Looking at her, my guess was that she was soft all over, and nothing felt better than a woman’s flesh gripped in your hands. While I didn’t necessarily have a type, I liked women that were soft. While a toned body looked great on a calendar, when I was holding a woman in my arms, I wanted real, not perfection. I wanted her tits bouncing in my face, I wanted her ass to ripple underneath my palm, I wanted her thighs to keep my ears warm, and I wanted it all night long if permitted.She also looked to be around my age, and no wedding ring adorned her left hand. Granted, she had no jewelry on her fingers or wrists, so it could be that she just didn’t wear any to avoid ruining anything valuable. Still, if she were my wife, and I knew that she was going to be putting herself on social media for the masses to see, she’d be wearing my fucking ring. Normally, I wasn’t that much of a caveman when it came to women, but I’d also never been married. I had a feeling that things would be different if I had myself a wife, but that would remain to be seen at a future date.Like a schoolboy waiting for his crush to notice him, I had my eyes glued to my phone as she began her latest episode.Well, welcome back whoever has decided to see this through with me and welcome any newcomers out there. I am Eliza Dodger, and this is my channel, What’s Next?Her name was Eliza Dodger, and I really wondered if there was a Mr. Dodger. Then I almost winced at my traditional assumptions about this woman. For all I knew, there might be another Mrs. Dodger, and that would definitely change things on my end. Still, even if Eliza Dodger were straight, no ring didn’t mean that there might not be a boyfriend in the picture.So, this go-round, we’re going to try our hand at sugar cookies. Her smile lit up her entire face. However, they won’t be regular sugar cookies. This week, we’re going to honor the significance of Memorial Day, and that’s why you see so much red, white, and blue scattered about.As I got sucked in by her smile, I prayed that her cookies were successful this time around. She looked genuinely excited, and Memorial Day was a special holiday.So, for my faithful viewers, we all know how my first two videos went, but I’m feeling good about tonight’s attempt. I’ve been brushing up on better techniques and watching similar videos in my spare time. We’re going to make this channel a success one way or the other. She looked back down at everything on the counter. God knows I can’t do OnlyFans.I sat up, choking out a laugh at what I could swear hadn’t been meant for her viewers to hear. She’d said it low and almost disappointed in the fact. She was also wrong if she really believed that an OnlyFans page with her on it wouldn’t take off. The woman was beautiful, and from what I could see, her body was mouth-watering.Okay, let’s get started.Absolutely spellbound, I watched her make her Memorial Day sugar cookies, and the woman was a hot mess, truth be told. If she possessed even one graceful bone in her body, it wasn’t used to bake. She looked like a little girl that’d gotten into her mother’s kitchen, making a mess everywhere. The ironic thing about it was that she tried so hard to keep the counter clean with each step in her baking, but to no avail. She probably had to take two showers after each show, poor thing.Okay, we’re done. Eliza’s smile reached her eyes, and I found myself really hoping that her cookies were a hit. We’re going to take a bite, and as always, I’ll be completely honest. She took a bite, and my heart sank when she started coughing the cookie out. It took a full minute for her to get herself under control. Yeah, I guess since sugar and salt look so much alike, you should probably make sure that you’re using sugar before you start baking.*****Eliza~With four and a half disasters under my belt, I decided to forget the baking portion of the show. Instead of baking my cakes from scratch, I’d gone to one of the local bakery shops and had purchased some pre-made cakes, completely unadorned. I’d been spending more time watching decorating reels, trying to take the easy way out. However, I was quickly learning that none of this was easy. The reason it looked easy was because the people that were good at this stuff made it look easy.I’d also been looking into other hobbies that I could try my hand at. As of right now, I had only five people tuning into my live channel, and I was pretty sure that five viewers were not enough to get me any kind of advertisements. In all honesty, I should probably be grateful for those five viewers. Yeah, they were probably just tuning in to see me make a fool of myself, but pride had no place in my life right now. I really wanted to save enough for a house, so this was the sacrifice. Honestly, with porn being so mainstream these days, it wasn’t a big deal to create adult content on the internet anymore. However, I saw myself naked every day in the shower, and no one in their right mind would pay money to see what I had going on. I liked food and it showed. So, a PG channel it was.There was also the fact that I planned on having kids in the future, and I couldn’t see myself wanting to have that conversation with them one day. I didn’t need a future teacher of theirs announcing that he used to be a faithful subscriber to my OnlyFans page. I didn’t want my future husband or children to Google me and see that I was famous for a sex tape or whatever.Setting everything up on the countertop, I walked over to turn on the camera, and I could only pray that this episode was less painful than the previous four.Smiling into the camera, I said, “Okay, welcome back my faithful followers, and for those of you that are new to my channel, I’m Eliza Dodger, and we’re going to be tackling graduations this week.” I gestured towards the items on the counter. “Unlike my previous episodes, we’re going to forget the baking and dive right into the decorating. We can all agree that I need more time brushing up on my baking skills, so we’re going to cheat a little tonight.”I glanced back down at the stuff on the counter, and I could feel myself already anticipating another fail, and I needed to knock it off. I had a job that kept a roof over my head, food in my fridge, and clothes on my body. If this thing didn’t take off, it wouldn’t be the end of the world. I’d just have to try something new, and I wasn’t afraid to do that.A half an hour later, I was staring at the first cake, and that looked nothing like a graduation cap. It looked more like a smashed skateboard, and the tassel looked like a hay bale gone rogue. Maybe I should have chosen different school colors, but I thought that picking colors from a local high school would feel more personal. However, the black and gold were not looking regal at all. I had even sketched the picture with a toothpick before icing the design, but it was glaringly obvious that baking and/or cake decorating wasn’t one of my greatest skills.Looking back into the camera, I said, “Well, I’m going to give this a D+, but only because the cake is actually edible, so it seems only fair to give the baker of the creation some credit.” I let out a sigh. “However, I think that we can all agree that the design looks nothing like a graduation cap.”Brushing off the failure, I grinned, doing my best to remain positive. I’d known that this wasn’t going to be easy, so I needed to keep choosing perseverance over self-pity. Plus, it wasn’t like I was stuck in this failure; I could always try something else. In fact, I could even change my channel to showcase attempts at something new, rather than something solitary.Taking in a deep breath, I continued to smile into the camera. “So, maybe baking isn’t my strong suit,” I admitted. “However, that doesn’t mean that we can’t try something new next week. The beautiful thing about life is that we don’t have to remain stuck in one position, right? As soon as you learn the freedom of not caring what other people think about your successes or failures, a whole new world opens up, and that’s when we realize that anything’s possible.”I looked back down at the mess on the counter. “Maybe I could have guest stars,” I muttered, though I didn’t know anyone famous or crazy enough to even want to be on my channel. I mean, I had five freakin’ viewers. Who wanted to waste their time with that?Shaking that crazy thought from my head, I grinned back at the camera. “As always, you can stick around and watch me clean up, or you can say goodnight.” I gestured towards the cake. “Since this cake is actually edible, I will be getting rid of the awful design, frosting it like a normal person, then taking it to work with me tomorrow. Nothing brightens up the workplace like free sweets, right?”Without another word, I scraped my attempt off the top of the cake, then iced it like normal; no design, no fancy coloring, no anything. When I was done, it was slathered in plain white buttercream frosting, and it was a good thing that I didn’t have a sweet tooth. My hips and ass did not need me addicted to sugar. It was bad enough that I had a weakness for salt, I didn’t need to add diabetes to my list of future health problems waiting to happen.After wrapping the cake up in tin foil, I grinned back at the camera and saw that one person was still signed in, and they were probably only tuning in to see if I was going to mess anything else up. I knew that sounded super self-depreciating, but there was no shortage of horrible people in the world. Lots of people fed off the misery and failures of others, so there was no telling why someone would want to watch me clean up another disaster.Placing another grin on my face, I said, “Well, thank you for sticking this out with me, and I will see you next week.”I walked over, then turned off the camera, dropping my head in pure exhaustion. I needed to find something else to try my hand at, that was obvious. I had underestimated the talent that it took to really create baking marvels, and I kind of felt like I needed to tip my local baker now. Suddenly, I understood why wedding cakes were so damn expensive; they should be.Heading to my bedroom, as soon as I walked in, I started removing my clothes for a much-needed shower. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t manage my episodes without making a mess. Even without any baking this time around, I had still managed to make a mess with the frosting. The entire thing blew my mind because I wasn’t a messy person. My organizational skills were legendary at work. I wasn’t a clutter bug or anything like that, so I just couldn’t understand it.As the hot water rained down on my back, I thought about what else I could try my hand at. I had no other hobbies or hidden talents. Hell, baking wasn’t even a hobby for me. I had naively believed that it’d be an easy niche to get into, but I’d been wrong.So very wrong.Maybe Coops had some ideas. Hell, maybe a podcast would have better results. Everyone in the world had podcasts nowadays, and you didn’t have to worry about censorship or anything like that. Any fool with a voice could spew nonsense ‘til their heart’s desire, and people would eat that crap up.When nothing came to mind, I decided to save my indecision for another time. I needed to get to sleep, and worrying about all the skills that I didn’t possess wasn’t going to help me with that.