CHAPTER 23

The pungent smell of boiled potato and meat stew seeped into my skin, lingering like an unwanted guest. My fingers were sticky with the brown sludge-like liquid. It splashed across me each time I dunked the ladle into the cast-iron pot and slopped it into a bowl offered out before me.

Regardless of the stains across my tunic, I was thankful to be helping. Putting myself to work among the people of Berrow – my people – gave me a sense of worth. Purpose. And that was exactly what I needed to take my mind off unnecessary worries. Spending time with the civilians of Icethorn not only focused my mind away from my list of anxieties, but also kept my fingers out of my mouth and my teeth away from my nails.

They had become my repeat victim.

“We’re nearly all out,” I called over my shoulder as I sloshed another spoonful into the wooden bowl of a gruff-looking man with sandy curls and hands the size of plates. He thanked me quietly before shuffling off toward Gyah, who worked at my side, handing out lumps of crusted bread.

“That is the second pot we’ve gone through,” Althea chimed from the burning stove behind me. “At this rate, we will need to request further supplies from mother before the week is out.”

I cringed at the thought of asking for help from the autumn court. But it was required, so I welcomed the carts brimming with supplies with a smile. What sort of king was I to the people when I could do little more than dish up stew with a forced smile whilst their lives were still at threat with each passing moment?

“Robin?” Gyah prompted. “Focus.”

I shook my head, forcing a smile suddenly at an older fey woman with a nest of grey hair and eyes that matched. “Sorry, my mind’s running away from me. Here you go.”

She bowed, eyes glittering with admiration I didn’t feel like I could accept. “Thank you, my king.”

Gyah waited until the woman claimed her bread and moved on before accosting me with her accusation. “Something is bothering you,” she said out of the corner of her mouth, careful of those listening in.

“How long have you got?” I huffed, offering her a pathetic grin before dishing out the stew to the never-ending line of fey. I recognised many of the faces from Lockinge and the journey to Icethorn. Now, though, the faces were fuller, their eyes not so tired.

“Althea told me you’re still struggling to sleep.”

The words hung between us, the silence treacherous. It had been three nights since Jesibel had invaded my dream and each night since she’d returned. Actually, sleep was easier now, but that didn’t mean I wanted it. I almost preferred the chaos of seeing Jesibel. The silence, the space without her, made everything worse.

“Don’t trust them.”

Three words that were on the verge of driving me to the point of insanity. I looked across the bustling room of the old town hall and rested my eyes on Duncan. He was flocked by a group of burly looking fey men and woman, with stern glares and gritted jaws. He had busied his days gathering a small band of them, people keen to help protect their newfound home. He trained them in physical combat and they helped him with controlling his power. Most of his mornings were spent convincing new recruits, and his afternoons were busy training for the inevitable fight to come.

Although he was always only a short glance away, I still felt like I hadn’t truly seen him in days. We were ships passing in the night, barely getting time to be together.

“Oh, you know,” I replied. “Apparently sleep isn’t a luxury until the world is saved from a mad man and his demon pet.”

“There are draughts that can help with that, you know,” Gyah said, tearing another piece of bread into six smaller chunks, the muscles bulging in her sleeveless tunic.

“I’m tired to the point of exhaustion, I could fall asleep now. That’s not the problem.”

“Then what is?” Gyah pressed.

“Do you have a draught that will deal with Aldrick? If I could take that, I would.”

Gyah huffed, well aware that my worries were not misplaced. “Good point. But, you know, we’ve been talking. Don’t be pissed at him, but Duncan has told us about your nightmares. He’s worried about you.”

I warmed at the sentiment, glad to hear Duncan’s love for me was obvious to those around us. “Even when I dream, I don’t feel like I’m sleeping. It’s been like this since we left Lockinge, and I know I’m one more pathetic night’s sleep awat from my sanity cracking. But… it’s getting better. Slowly but surely.”

“It’s been going on that long?” Gyah’s nails pinched into the hard crust like a hot knife through butter. With one great tug, it split in two, crumbs falling like rain on her boots.

“My subconscious has a way of punishing me for failing someone. Now I dread closing my eyes for fear of another berating.”

“Robin, why haven’t you said something about how long this has been going on?”

I pursed my lips as I contemplated my answer. “With everything going on, I didn’t think it was important to divulge my personal issues. As if there aren’t more pressing matters to worry about. And what could be done about it? Not even a stiff drink has the power to fend the nightmares away.”

Gyah’s lips pulled into a taut line. I saw her cheeks flutter as she chewed the soft insides of them. This was a habit I noticed a lot more than before.

“Something is on your mind now,” I accused.

Gyah didn’t tell me I was wrong. “Did this Jesibel ever divulge her powers to you?”

I shook my head, almost pouring an entire ladle of stew onto my boots instead of the bowl before me. I mouthed my apology to the young woman who moved along to Gyah swiftly.

“Believe it or not, there wasn’t much of an opportunity to discuss such things during my intimate stay in Lockinge’s prison.”

Gyah nodded, her golden eyes still scrutinising me. Althea swept in with the new cast-iron pot hanging like a pendulum between two strong arms. Her muscles bulged, the freckles across her skin rippling, as she heavily discarded the full pot of stew before me.

“This is the last of it,” Althea said, hardly breathless. Flour was smudged across her cheekbone. She attempted to clear it with the back of her sticky hand, only to smear more on the attempt. “It is going to need to stretch to feed the last of the line. Not so heavy-handed this time, Robin. Make it last.”

My face warmed at Althea’s reaction to my stew-covered boots.

“I’ll try my best,” I spluttered through a yawn.

Althea and Gyah shared a look that brimmed with concern.

“Remind me to ask Elinor for a draught to help you get a proper night’s rest,” Althea said. “Your nightmares are now punishing the rest of us with your snappy mood.”

The concept of a draught – dreams or not – actually sounded heavenly. Just a few hours without worry and I’d be back to normal.

“But what if they are not that?” Gyah added quickly. “Dreams, nightmares, terrors. We all know them well, but never do they repeat. Our minds don’t work like that. Nor do they make their victim look like an exhausted sack of shit, as our dear Robin does.”

I flicked my ladle at her, splattering her dark leathers with droplets of stew. “Watch it.”

Gyah raised her hands at her sides and gasped. “No, please,” she mocked. “Not the spoon.”

“Would you two stop.” Althea laughed, echoing my chortle. She threaded her arm around Gyah’s waist and held her. Seeing them so close warmed me from the inside out.

“I’m serious about this,” Gyah said, frowning as she plucked a lump of what I hoped to be overcooked venison from her dark braid. “I think this is more than just dreams.”

My blood ran cold in my veins, sending a strange wave of numbness down my arms. “What are you suggesting?”

“This is speculation, but Jesibel could be doing this to you. By choice, or not.”

Althea’s brows furrowed. “You think she’s a–”

“Dream walker,” Gyah interjected. “Yes, I do. Robin said Jesibel was originally from the Icethorn Court. Dream walking was a rare ability but one only privy to those Icethorn natives. It’s possible she has those abilities just as Althea has with the flame and Robin’s little icicle fingers.”

Althea leaned in, hiding her smirk at Gyah’s description of my powers. “It’s certainly possible.”

They both seemed pleased with Gyah’s suggestion, but I felt nothing but dread. If that was Jesibel, then she was truly warning me. It wasn’t some dream conjured from my worries about her safety and condition. She truly was broken and weak. Her body was no stranger to pain from the marks, blood and bruises.

Worst of all, she had seen everything. Jesibel had torn through my memories, devouring information about the Nephilim and our whereabouts.

Our plans.

Dread pierced me, deep to the marrow.

“This has to stop…” I started but quickly lost my words. My mind raced for a way to prove that Gyah was wrong. What it meant if she was right was terrifying. “Jesibel shouldn’t have access to her powers. The iron cuff around her neck should stop her abilities. Unless…”

“Unless it has been taken off her,” Gyah finished for me, working out what was worrying me. “Fuck, this isn’t good, is it?”

“No.” Heat cracked from Althea’s skin. “If what you are saying it right, that means Jesibel is being used as…”

“Bait.” My heart fought its way into my throat, attempting to block the word but failing. “Aldrick is using Jesibel as bait. He knows seeing her like that will make me want to save her. She has even told me not to trust them… I didn’t know who she was speaking of, but it must be Aldrick. She is – has been – warning me not to fall for it.”

“And are you?” Althea said, eyes drinking me in. “I know you, Robin. Regardless of the meaning behind Jesibel’s dream walking, I don’t think for a second that you will give up on her.”

A gust of wind screamed through the double doors as they were thrown open. Our heads snapped toward the noise to see Kayne standing between them as he searched the room. I knew who he was searching for.

He raised his hand, sleeves rolled to his elbow, exposing a sea of freckles across his slender arm. Duncan lifted his chin as though he sensed eyes on him. He beckoned Kayne to him with a smile.

“I won’t give up on her,” I replied, watching as Kayne sauntered toward Duncan. I hadn’t told Duncan about my interaction with Kayne those nights ago. Althea hadn’t brought it up, either. “Which is why we need to do exactly as Aldrick wants us to do.”

Althea cocked a hand on her hip and rested on it. “Falling straight into his web does not sound like the smartest of ideas.”

“No,” I said, forcing my stare from Kayne as his hand lingered far too long on Duncan’s shoulder. “No, we make him think we are falling for it when, in fact, we do the complete opposite. News from Oakstorm and Cedarfall has been quiet on the Aldrick front. He hasn’t acted since he took Elmdew. Every morning we wake up expecting news of his next move, and nothing. He is waiting for something… I just haven’t worked it out yet.”

“The last time he had that lost look in his eyes, he was planning a prison break,” Althea muttered to Gyah as they both regarded me.

I dropped the ladle into the pot, not caring for the warm liquid that splashed up my arm. “We can’t sit around waiting anymore. I can’t.”

“And you suggest we…”

“I need to find Rafaela.” I wiped my hands down my trousers and sidestepped around the pot with the goal of getting outside. “Can you get Duncan and… Kayne? We all need to be ready to discuss the next steps. Together.”

“So, the King of the Icethorn Court has learned the importance of teamwork,” Gyah jibed. “Well, I am impressed.”

“I live to please.” I faked a bow and rushed out of the town hall, leaving Althea and Gyah to finish service. Before I met the cold air of the street outside, I turned back to find Duncan staring at me. His eyes were alight with a question, and I hoped the look I gave him in return promised that I would give him answers soon. And I would. But first, I needed Rafaela’s acceptance. Although I already knew, given the chance of destroying Aldrick for his part in Gabrial’s death, she’d jump at the opportunity.

Aldrick had access to magic, to fey and an army of Hunters. But the one thing he didn’t have was a Nephilim. If anything, the warriors set us apart. It was time to utilise our strengths – even if the risk was so great that we may not all make it out alive.

“The risks outweigh the rewards, Robin Icethorn,” Rafaela said, her voice reverberating around the cluttered room. “However, I stand with you. If this is our only chance of stopping Aldrick, then it must be taken.”

“I don’t like it,” Duncan glowered. He stared at his clasped hands resting on the table before him. The whites of his knuckles were stretched with tension. “You are giving yourself to him willingly. Why not tie yourself up in a red bow and burst out of a box? That would be a better surprise.”

I gritted my teeth. It caused me great discomfort to hear the panic in Duncan’s voice, and I knew he was right. But we were talking about a desperate situation, there was never going to be an option that pleased everyone.

“Duncan, it will happen quickly. He will be so focused on the fake version of me that he’ll not expect it when I actually appear. I will kill him before he has a moment to register the deceit. Would you rather we wait for Aldrick to make the first move? Because so far, that hasn’t worked in our favour.”

“I would rather you were not the ploy,” Duncan said, slamming palms on the table. “Anyone else, but not you.”

“Believe it or not,” Gyah grumbled, spinning a dagger with her index finger. “I am with Duncan on this one. Robin, your plan is well thought out and clear, but if he invades your mind and discovers the illusion you have weaved, it will be over for you. He will kill you, weaken Duwar’s gate, and we will be one more person down in our efforts to stop him once and for all.”

“What if this is our once and for all?” I asked, growing frustrated. “I didn’t ask you here to vote or deliberate my plan. What I hoped for was your support.”

I looked to Althea, silently pleading for her seal of approval. She wiggled forward in her chair and leaned on her elbows as she spoke. “When Robin asked me to break into a human prison and save hundreds of captured fey, all without being caught or killed by Aldrick and his band of crazed human cultists, I believed he had lost his mind. But I buried those worries and focused on how I could help him. I trusted in his judgement, and because of that, we are all sitting here together. Yes, we all agree this is dangerous, but not impossible. If it works, we save hundreds of lives.”

“No, it is much bigger than that. We save the world.” Rafaela stopped her pacing, white ruffling as she straightened her posture. “Aldrick is a weak, tired and bitter old man. His power is great but not undefeatable. It wouldn’t take much force to end him, we simply need the means to get close enough to do it. Giving him access to, what he thinks is, a force he’s yet to poison, is exactly what can distract him.”

“You haven’t faced him yet,” Duncan hissed, as snakes of lightning sparked across his narrowed eyes. “Aldrick is strong. All it would take is for him to invade Robin’s mind for a moment, and he will become the puppet master. He will take what he desires and do it over, given the chance. We have seen what has escaped the gate your Nephilim are protecting. What will emerge next?”

I stood abruptly, demanding everyone’s attention without asking for it. “Enough.”

No one uttered a sound. I looked to the seat Kayne should’ve occupied if he’d not conjured an excuse not to join our meeting. I wondered whose side he would’ve taken in this conversation. It wasn’t impossible to imagine that he would have advocated for my plan, enjoying the risk I put myself in by doing so.

For the first time, I actually longed for his presence. I could’ve done with another person rooting for me.

“Seraphine and her sister worked for Aldrick and, all the while, kept their minds from his grasp. If they could do it, so can I.” I raised my chin, forcing the confidence that I felt inside to radiate outwards. “What we need for this to work is Mariflora. Doses strong enough to keep Aldrick from controlling us. There you go, a resolution to the problem you keep coming back to.”

“Then it will be me,” Duncan snapped, gripping my hand. “I can’t let you go alone. I’ll offer myself to do this. If you are to become someone else, I will become you.”

“No,” I felt the urge to laugh as I refused.

“Robin has already asked me to partake in this,” Rafaela added. “And I have accepted.”

“It was not a suggestion,” Duncan said, desperation dripping from his voice, gaze snapping between me and the Nephilim. “I’m telling you both: I am coming with you or this fucking plan ends here.”

“I can’t accept that of you,” I said, breathless at Duncan’s offer.

“You do not need to. I know what it is I am offering, and I don’t take it back. We do this together. I’ll have your back, and you’ll have mine. And if it comes to it, I will do anything to give you the time to complete the task.”

We fixated on one another’s eyes. I searched his for regret at his offer, and he searched mine for something else entirely. Althea, Gyah and Rafaela faded into the shadows of the dimly lit room until I believed it was only the two of us, all until one of them cleared their throat.

“Whilst you debate who is prepared to throw their lives before Aldrick, I will send word ahead of our arrival in Aurelia. Mother will wish to meet us. I can then prepare a visit from the fey with the abilities we require for this to work.” Althea pushed up from the table and stood, a determined scowl set on her face.

“We leave for Aurelia tomorrow. I don’t want to leave it any later than that,” I confirmed. What I wished to say was the longer we waited, the more chance Jesibel had to haunt my dreams. There was no telling what information she could glean out of me next – that was, if she came back.

Althea tipped her head in agreement. “I will prepare one of my soldiers to ride ahead within the hour. They will have at least a few hours’ notice before we arrive in that case.”

“Which will give me time to ready the fey I’ve been training to protect Berrow when the time comes. I hardly imagine they believed it to be so soon, but I trust they are ready to defend their home and themselves.” Duncan stood now, still gripping my hand, which I was thankful for.

“My purpose is to prevent Aldrick from collecting another of Altar’s keys,” Rafaela added firmly, her wings flinching at her back as she spoke. “This is why I must be the one to go with Robin, not you, Duncan.”

She was right, no matter if Duncan refused it.

There was an unspoken detail to my plan, one that I’d discussed privately with Rafaela before this council meeting began. I’d glossed over when explaining my plan to the group, because I’d promised Rafaela not to share it.

Rafaela was the only one with the knowledge of these keys. Which meant she was the only one who knew how to destroy them. For the sake of not letting that information spread further than it needed to, I vowed to keep it between us.

“We will continue this discussion when we make it to Aurelia,” I said, although one look at Rafaela and we both knew that that discussion was pointless. In fact, it would be the topic of how to stop Duncan coming. “If everyone doesn’t mind, I need a moment with Rafaela before we prepare ourselves.”

Everyone got up and left – everyone but Duncan.

He came to stand before me, worry set deep in his forest-green eyes. “Please, Robin. I know you, which means I know what is going on in your mind. I cannot just sit by and let you put yourself in danger.”

I lifted my hand and rested it upon Duncan’s carved cheek. He leaned into my touch, closing his eyes and sighing. If he expected me to tell him he was wrong, I didn’t.

“I’ll meet you outside,” I said, brushing my thumb over his jaw, enjoying the bristling of the dark hairs that had grown in the recent days. “Please, give me a moment with Rafaela alone.”

I could sense Duncan’s reluctance, but I was safest with Rafaela above anyone else… until the tide shifted, and she was forced to act in a manner to protect the world.

Duncan gritted his teeth and nodded, although it clearly took him great effort to do so. He shot her a look, then left. I waited for the slam of the door to prove he really had gone.

“Are you having second thoughts?” Rafaela asked softly, reading my mind.

“No, not about the plan.”

Rafaela scrutinised me, as if she had the power to flay my worries out of my mind. “Then what else is there to discuss?”

“Erix.” His name fell out of my mouth awkwardly and rushed. Three days of not speaking about him, trying everything to pretend he did not exist. That was all I could last. “You never told me if he was innocent of Gabrial’s murder.”

Although I guessed he wasn’t.

I had avoided asking Rafaela how her interaction with Erix had gone for fear that the others would know I cared about it or that I wished to admit to myself that I cared at all.

“I have not told you, because you do not need me to tell you the answer,” Rafaela replied. “You already know of his innocence.”

I hung my head, chin to chest, relief blossoming within me no matter how hard I tried to squander it. “Good, I’m glad.”

That still didn’t solve the issue of who betrayed Gabrial, but at least it proved Erix was in control of himself.

“Robin, I do not need, or require, an understanding of your relationship with this Erix, but I can tell that the past still haunts you just as it does him. I saw into his truth. I know the guilt he harbours and the pain he is riddled with. But, without a doubt, Erix is not to blame for what happened to Gabrial.”

“Then that person is still out there,” I replied, trying to scrub my mind of everything Rafaela had just said about Erix.

“For now,” she replied, causing shivers to spread across my spine. “All things that hide in the shadows reveal themselves eventually. One way or another, it will come to light. And when the one to blame reveals themselves, I will be ready.”

I exhaled a sigh riddled with guilt. “Thank you for standing by me. I understand.”

“Do not speak too soon,” she replied, placing a hand on my shoulder and squeezing enough to tell me she was here. “Succeed in your plan, and then you may thank me.”

Because if I didn’t see this through and come back victorious, Rafaela had been tasked to ensure the power inside of me would never fall into Aldrick’s grasp, both in life and death.

“I will leave shortly to collect the labradorite stone we require for the transfer,” Rafaela said in a hushed voice.

I swallowed down the bile in my throat. I’d almost given myself up when accepting the Icethorn key, and now I was giving it to Rafaela. But I trusted her. Rafaela’s entire purpose was to protect the key, so there was no better person to give up the power to. At least, as she’d promised, for a short time.

Unless Aldrick won, then she would destroy it, but that was something she’d vowed me to keep to myself. It went against everything she was made for. But we all had to do things we were not comfortable with in the face of impending doom.

Some more than others.