Chapter 30

Chapter Thirty

“ I cannot believe it.”

John looked between Alexander and Madeleine, continually blinking at them. Alexander raised a brow.

“Why not?” he asked.

John laughed, shaking his head. It seemed that was all he had done since bursting into the music room. “It is just… Alexander, you are my closest friend. And… well, my sister . The world has changed since I left for war.”

Alexander saw Madeleine nod slowly out of the corner of his eye. “Believe me when I say that, for a long time, I could not believe it myself. However, I am happy, John. I truly am.”

John glared at Alexander, catching his gaze. “Do not think I am happy with you, though, Alexander. You may be a duke but that does not immediately grant you my forgiveness.”

“I understand.” Alexander nodded. “But over time you must make peace with the fact that Madeleine and I have joined in marriage. She is my duchess. I will not have our happiness thwarted simply because you threw a tantrum over it.”

“I think,” Madeleine said loudly, no doubt catching her brother’s narrowed gaze, “that we should eat now!”

“Good idea,” Alexander agreed, flashing a grin at John. “After all, I am sure your brother will soon realize that what I have to offer is good for you.”

“Undoubtedly.” John’s voice was flat.

“You doubt me?”

“No,” he admitted. “I… it has been some time since I have been in England. It has been some time since I have been in society . That will take some readjustments. I wish to get to know you again, Alexander. Properly. As you are now.”

“We were boys back in school,” Alexander countered, “do not judge me on past, foolish decisions. I have?—”

“If you do not mind me interrupting,” Madeleine said quickly, looking between Alexander and John. “Alexander has shown me the utmost honesty and openness. It took a while for me to receive such things from him, yes, but I believe they are all the more genuine for it. I believe that the man I am now married to is one of fine character.”

“Unlike Kinsfeld,” Alexander muttered.

“I did not ever like him.” John scowled.

“Brother, I only ask that you trust my judgement. And that you do not try to punch Alexander again.”

John let out a laugh, as if awkwardly acknowledging what he had done. “Yes, well—we did get in a few scraps back in the day, did we not, Silverton?”

“Indeed.” Alexander felt himself smirking as he ate with his wife and brother-in-law.

“John, I shall need you to be very much at peace with this. Especially for when we have children.”

At that, her brother choked on his mouthful of wine. Alexander laughed, leaning back in his chair as he chewed. They had lightly discussed the topic but never long enough or hard enough to fully agree on a decision.

We have time , he thought.

“Oh, do not be so dramatic,” Madeleine laughed. “Nothing is certain yet.”

“I would hope not,” John answered, his voice strained. “For I at least wish to adjust to the concept of you two being married. To be an uncle… That is quite something else for now.”

Madeleine nodded, and for a moment, the table fell quieter as they ate.

She had become accustomed to running the household excellently, and Alexander had thought it would be far harder to give up the control he so dearly needed.

But seeing how easily Madeleine fit into the role of the duchess, how she had managed the staff, arranged their dinner choices, and spoke about hosting balls, he knew the control was something to loosen up on.

“John, I believe your sister was made to be a duchess,” Alexander spoke up. “And I wish to always witness her incredible way of handling my household. Marriage is allowing me that.”

Madeleine looked at Alexander, her brows flying up in surprise. He had not spoken so boldly to declare her such a fit for the role she had married into.

“It is true,” he confirmed softly, reaching for her hand. He knew John would be watching them keenly.

“Alexander,” she murmured, blushing. “I feel… very well guided.”

He let out a soft laugh before turning to his friend. “I only ever wish to make Madeleine happy. Do you grant me such an allowance?”

It was meant to be teasing but half of him thought seriously on it. He was an only child but he was protective of Madeleine. He could not imagine the protection her brother would feel to deliver. And it was true what he had claimed.

John had seen the worst, most audacious sides of Alexander. He had seen him grieving, dallying with women whom he did not love, nor have a genuine interest in. He had witnessed a great deal of Alexander’s past, poor choices.

“I will think about it,” John joked.

“I have rebuilt not only my dukedom but also myself in these last six years,” Alexander told him. “You shall see.”

John nodded, drinking his wine. “I look forward to it. But in the meantime, I must demand there will be no risk of me entering a room to find you in such… compromising moments with Madeleine.”

“John!” Madeleine cried, flushing deeply.

“If I wish to pleasure my wife in any room of our house then I shall.” Alexander’s reply was smooth yet it held a hint of jest. Madeleine coughed lightly, drinking deeply as she got a mocking glare at Alexander. He only flashed her a grin in response.

“Brother, do tell me of your own experiences,” Madeleine urged as their empty plates were taken away and another course was quickly served. “I wish to know what you have seen, what you have done, over these last years we have been apart.”

“I do not know if I should speak of such things to my sister,” John worried. “But I will tell you about a good friend I made in the army. He was a viscount before he joined, and his land is somewhere east of here, I believe. It turned out…”

John’s brows flickered.

“It turned out our lands were not so far apart.”

There was a slight crack in his voice and Alexander realized a moment later: this was the tale of a man who had died. He recognized grief and the way it made one’s voice quiver.

“Tell us of him,” Alexander said, his voice gentler than it had been to his friend all evening.

“Yes. Yes, of course.” John sipped deeply from his wine glass, taking bites of food throughout his storytelling. “His name was James Norton, the Viscount of Hartford, but to me he was Jem. Jem, a soldier. Jem, who raised his rifle without a second thought to protect me time and time again.”

“Was?” Madeleine asked softly.

John nodded. “We lost him some months back. When he died, I was there. He took my hand and he told me to stop running. It was him that made me realize that was exactly what I was doing—running. From the guilt of not being here for you, Madeleine.”

“And yet you stayed further away,” Alexander muttered.

“I do not blame you for my marriage to Donald,” Madeleine reiterated to her brother, shushing Alexander.

“I blame myself for not stopping it. Alexander is right. My guilt pushed me further from you so I did not have to deal with it. Instead, it should have brought me closer, to make the amends I needed.”

He sighed. “It was Jem who made me realize it was time I faced everything. That starts right now, here, in London. It starts with me taking up the title. I ran from it when our father died, Madeleine.”

“It was a difficult thing to look at,” Alexander said, taking over the responsibility of consoling his friend.

After all, they had shared so many moments where they spoke of their fathers’ treatment of them.

“You did it.”

“I had no other choice.”

“You gave yourself no other choice. Your desire to right all the wrongs was greater than anything else, Alexander. That is admirable. I was a coward.”

He shook himself off. “But I have faced battle, and watched men be carried off the battlefield screaming, going through unimaginable medicinal treatment, and returning with a rifle in hand weeks later. Being alongside them, fighting with them…”

He paused.

“Well, I rather believe I was remade out there. I am ready to do as I must—both as your brother, Madeleine, and as the Viscount of Halthorpe. I am sorry I have not been ready, and I am sorry for the consequences my cowardly actions have brought upon you.”

“Anytime you wish to make it up to my wife, you may,” Alexander jested but John nodded solemnly.

“I will. Starting with?—”

“A ball,” Alexander suggested, seeing an opportunity. “We must have you attend a ball with us.”

John winced. “Then again, the battlefield was rather pleasant?—”

“Oh, come now, Halthorpe,” Alexander chuckled. “Will you not attend a ball with your sister and brother-in-law?”

John glowered at him but continued to fork pieces of venison into his mouth aggravated vigor.

But Alexander thought: if her brother had returned, the addition of his title and power would solidify Madeleine’s confidence back into society and she would not have to fear anything again.

If he could remove every ounce of fear from her, he would.

Starting with the gossip.