Chapter 20

"I think you should continue trying to put out the fires before they spread further," Aurelia's father said, and her mother nodded.

"Yes … although it seemed to make no difference to Lady Carshaw. You kept me waiting for nearly half an hour, and the way she looked at me – like something she'd stepped in," Aurelia's mother replied, shaking her head.

"Rumours need to be quashed," the baron said, glancing at Aurelia, sitting quietly at the end of the breakfast table eating a piece of toast.

Having spent the previous day in her bedroom, Aurelia had emerged to discover her parents had adopted a pragmatic attitude towards the situation the family now found itself in.

Having survived her initial upset, Aurelia's mother had now taken a more pragmatic approach to the situation, and the previous day, she had set out to quash the rumours surrounding Aurelia by visiting as many of her friends and acquaintances as possible, telling them there was no truth in the rumours, though with somewhat mixed results.

"The older ones will believe what they hear, but … well, why not appeal to their sense of feeling towards their own children and grandchildren? Would they want one of their own to be spoken of in such a way?" the baron said, and Aurelia's mother nodded.

"Yes, I think that could work. I'm planning to visit the Bagshaws, the Deveres, and the Reids this morning," she said.

Aurelia had been offered no say in this strategy of damage limitation. She was being treated as a problem to be resolved and no one had mentioned Dawson, either …

"Why won't anyone believe me when I say it isn't true?" Aurelia asked, and her parents looked up at her in surprise.

"But there has to be some truth in it, Aurelia. Someone saw you in the garden with a man – who was it? Was it Dawson? When we suggested you help him, I never thought … well, we know all about him now, don't we?" her mother said, but Aurelia shook her head.

"We don't know anything about him, Mother. You've changed your opinion of him on a whim. It's nonsense. Yes, there were times when we were alone. But it's not … it's not like that," she said, sighing and shaking her head.

There had been no impropriety between her and Dawson. They had come close to sharing a kiss, but it had not been snatched unwillingly from her by an unscrupulous man. Dawson had behaved entirely as a gentleman – Silas had taken the imposition.

"Then what is it like?" Aurelia's mother demanded.

"Silas wrote to me and asked me to meet him in the garden – without a chaperone. I didn't reply. I refused him. It wasn't right, and I knew it wasn't," Aurelia said, for she knew it was her refusal – and not her act – that had so angered Silas and brought about this cruel and wicked spread of rumours.

Her parents glanced at one another and shook their heads.

"The damage has been done, Aurelia. There's nothing more to say, is there? How can your reputation ever recover – first by your own actions, and now with your association with a man who … well, a common criminal. Worse than that, a man who was involved in just about every possible wickedness one can imagine," Aurelia's father said, shaking his head.

"But how do you know it's true? How do you know any of it's true? It's all just rumour and hearsay," Aurelia exclaimed as tears welled up in her eyes.

She felt as though a great weight was bearing down on her – the weight of rumour and falsity – and as for countering it …

"Rumours always have a basis of truth, Aurelia. You know that. Someone saw you together, and …" the baroness began, but at that moment, the dining room door opened, and Letitia appeared.

She looked somewhat guilty, as though she had something she wanted to say, and now she stepped forward and cleared her throat.

"I think … I might've had something to do with it," she said, and Aurelia and her parents stared at her in astonishment.

"What do you mean?" Aurelia said as her sister shifted nervously from foot to foot.

"Well … I saw you and Silas together in the garden and … I didn't think anything about it … well, I did. I was jealous, but … I told Miriam about it when she was combing my hair that evening," Letitia said, looking down at her feet as she clasped her hands in front of her.

Aurelia's mother let out a cry of exasperation.

"Oh, Letitia – what have I told you about not sharing your woes with the servants, and Miriam especially," she exclaimed.

Until a week ago, Miriam had been a maid in the house, but after several items had gone missing, Aurelia's mother had dismissed her without a reference. The parting had not been amicable, and Miriam had stormed out of the house, breathing threats against her former employers …

"I'm sorry. I didn't think," Letitia said, looking imploringly at Aurelia, who she knew had every right to fly into a rage.

But instead, Aurelia remained calm. Her sister could be difficult at times – cruel, even – but she usually realized the error of her ways, as it seemed she had done now.

"What exactly did you tell her?" Aurelia asked as their mother shook her head and tutted.

"I … I told her I saw you and Silas together in the shrubbery. And I said I wished it had been me because you always get to do all the things I want to do but never can. And Miriam said I shouldn't aspire to meet men in the shrubbery without a chaperone. Then she called you a … I don't want to say it. But … then Mother dismissed her, and … oh, I'm sorry. I just wanted to be like you, Aurelia. I'm always the one who gets left behind," Letitia exclaimed, as tears now rolled down her cheeks.

Aurelia sighed. She could imagine what Miriam had called her, and she could picture the maid – who had always been a difficult servant to deal with – taking great delight in spreading the rumour of what Letitia had told her. Their father now shook his head and sighed.

"Why couldn't I have been blessed with three sons?" he asked, as his wife uttered an angry exclamation.

"Oh … you're both as foolish as one another. What were you doing in the shrubbery with Silas?" she demanded, for the way it was told made it sound far worse than it was.

Aurelia sighed.

"He was waiting for me. I went to tell him to go away. It wasn't an arranged meeting. I've refused to meet him again out there. I had no choice when he was there before. I knew it was wrong, but … he gave me no choice," Aurelia said.

Appearances could be deceptive, and Letitia had been deceived. What she had believed to be an assignation had been nothing more than a brief exchange, one Aurelia had neither courted nor prolonged. But the deed was done, and the rumour was now spreading. Miriam could not be held accountable for it nor punished for it, either – such was the risk of dismissing servants as Aurelia's mother had done. A grudge was a powerful motivator, and it seemed Miriam had now had her revenge.

"I'm sorry, Aurelia. I didn't mean to … well, I suppose I did, but … I didn't want it to be like this," Letitia said, and Aurelia sighed.

"Well … there's nothing much that can be done now, is there?" she replied.

Their mother shook her head.

"Your father's right. Why couldn't you both have been boys? My poor nerves can't stand it. I just can't believe you've been so foolish – both of you. This petty rivalry has to stop, Letitia. You'll grow up, and then you can … well, not follow in your sister's footsteps. And as for you, Aurelia – what were you thinking? You shouldn't have gone anywhere near the shrubbery when Silas asked you to. It was utterly reckless," the baroness exclaimed, glaring at the two sisters, who now glanced at one another.

Aurelia felt ashamed of herself. But she could not be angry with Letitia for what she had done. There had been times when Aurelia had dismissed her sister as a foolish child, glad to be rid of her when their disputes boiled over into open conflict, even though she now realized her actions had only led to Letitia's growing resentment. The maid was at fault, but there was little point in apportioning blame now – the deed was done, the rumour was spread, and the consequences would have to be lived with, for better or worse.

"As far as I can see, there's no choice but for you to marry Silas, Aurelia," her father said, and Aurelia looked at him in horror.

"No … you don't understand, Father – I don't want to marry Silas. Not now," Aurelia exclaimed.

The thought of doing so made her feel sick. She could not bear to think of marrying a man who had so delighted in spreading rumours about Dawson – and allowing a rumour about Aurelia herself to work to his advantage. He had manipulated the situation, just as he had manipulated Aurelia herself.

"No, please, Father – I can't. I won't," Aurelia exclaimed.

Her father raised his eyebrows.

"It's not long since you were desperate to marry him, Aurelia. What's changed?" her father demanded, and Aurelia sighed.

"Everything," she replied, thinking longingly of Dawson and what he now meant to her.

She could not imagine marrying Silas – it was simply too awful to comprehend – but it seemed her father was now adamant she should do so, and after breakfast, he resolved to visit Silas that morning and make the arrangements. Aurelia begged him not to – imploring her mother's sympathy, though the baroness agreed with her husband.

"It's the only way, Aurelia. We have to save face. If you marry Silas, a scandal can be avoided. But if you don't, you'll find yourself a spinster for the rest of your life – taken pity on by well-meaning people who look at you with sympathy for having done what you've done. No, it's no life, Aurelia," her mother said.

"But if I'm in love with another – with Dawson?" Aurelia exclaimed.

She had nothing to lose in uttering these words, and now her mother looked at her in astonishment.

"With Dawson? No, Aurelia. Don't be so foolish. You can't marry a man like that. He's … a criminal. I won't allow it," she said, and she would entertain no further discussion.

Aurelia was devastated and wanted nothing to do with either of her parents for the rest of the day – and knowing any argument she made would fall on deaf ears – she resolved to go out and ride. She wanted to feel that sense of freedom now seemingly denied her, and as she saddled her horse, she thought longingly of what it would be like to live the kind of life Dawson had come from in Kentucky – a life where such trivial things as a meeting in a garden did not entirely alter a person's life.

"It's just such nonsense," she told herself as she climbed into the saddle.

All her life, Aurelia had lived in the knowledge of what she should and should not do and by a set of unwritten rules governing everything from what she wore to what she said and did. To break those rules and step beyond them was anathema, and Aurelia was now to suffer the consequences of the society she had tried so hard to help Dawson navigate. She had fallen on her own sword – a simple mistake now blown out of all proportion. As she rode away from the house, she saw her brother's valet, Digby, hurrying up the drive, and as she passed him, he hailed her, breathless as though he had run all the way from the village.

"Forgive me, Miss Murphy, but is Master Reuben at home?" he asked, pausing as Aurelia reined in her horse.

But Aurelia had not seen her brother, neither did she particularly care if he was or was not at home. She wanted only to get away – to ride across the parkland and forget all her troubles.

"I don't know," she said, and without waiting for his reply, she urged her horse into a gallop and rode away, hoping to find some peace, though knowing her problems would be waiting for her when she returned.