Chapter 17
Chapter 17
"I can't believe he's doing this. How dare he go and speak to the Earl of Hatfield and insist that he marry me." Olivia looked toward Marianne with anger in her eyes.
Olivia continued, "I am confused and bewildered how this situation has developed so quickly. This gossip, which has no foundation in truth, has spread through all levels of the ton . It's as if someone, and we believe it to be Lady Cressida, has planned this and is working hard to make sure the rumor mill stays running all the time."
Marianne looked at Olivia with concern. "I've never known anything like it. Even though your uncle prevented the last scandal sheet from being circulated, there is a new aspect to this story that emerges every day. Someone is working tirelessly to ensure your complete ruin."
"What are they saying now?" asked Olivia.
"Oh, Lord Hatfield has purchased an estate in France, which indeed he has, but the main purpose of this estate is to set you up as his mistress. The estate will be a sort of love nest for the two of you," Marianne told her.
"Marianne, this is ridiculous."
"I know," said Marianne, with anguish.
Olivia stood and walked around the room unable to hide her agitation. "I still don't quite comprehend this. I seem the most unlikely person to be the victim of gossip and slander. And yet it appears there is nothing I can do. I hide here and know that these lies are circulating, and some people must believe them. Lady Golightly clearly did."
"I'm not sure about that. I think she excluded us because it was ‘the right thing to do' according to their unwritten rules. I've known her for years, and she is not an unkind person. I can only reinforce to you my dear, that these rumors have a strong force behind them. Your uncle had hoped they would die down. Instead, the opposite has happened."
"It is incredible how my reputation has been ruined and I've done nothing, nothing at all," said an exasperated Olivia.
"I know you have a stormy relationship with your uncle, but I can see the logic in his actions. He did the right thing in setting investigators to track down the source of the scandal sheets. He had the right motives in speaking to the Earl of Hatfield. There is little else he can do," reiterated Marianne
"I should go and speak to Lady Cressida myself. I long to tell her just what I think of her," snarled Olivia.
"Oh no, Olivia, that is the one thing you cannot do. I beg you, do not consider that plan a moment longer," Marianne responded.
"I know. Don't worry. I'll be a dutiful niece and get ready for a visit to Belvedere Abbey," Olivia reassured her.
"Charles and I will return to our estate at Leighton Manor, and it is less than 5 miles from Belvedere, so I shall be close to you. As soon as the house party finishes you and Jocelyn will join me at the Manor."
"It will help to know you are there. I can only be honest in saying that I dread this visit to Belvedere. It isn't just the scandal. It's more than that. Before this happened, I felt something, a sensation of close connection, when I was with Lord Hatfield.
"Now I feel embarrassed and uneasy about seeing him again. How will it be when we meet, and we don't just continue where we left off? He's been pretty much ordered to marry me by my uncle."
She continued walking around the room, unable to be still, but she stopped to gaze out of the window. "Oh Marianne, It's such a mess and I'm so confused."
"I don't think you can be otherwise. We're all bewildered by events. You mustn't worry about meeting the earl again."
"I started to hope there might be something between us, yet now I'm not sure I can bear to see him."
Marianne beckoned her to come and sit beside her on the velvet chaise longue. Olivia sat down next to Marianne, and she patted Olivia's hand. "I've seen you together and there's a strange sort of natural chemistry between you. There is an affection there. You must not worry."
Olivia smiled at her friend. "We've been cooped up here for so long that I'm losing all perspective. I can't continue this way. After Ellen's packed for the journey tomorrow, I believe I shall go into town and visit Grove's haberdashery. I have some riding gloves to collect."
"It will do you good to get out. You're right, you've been hiding away too long."
"And there is good news about my writing. Mr. Claxton at the publishing house has accepted Mr. NP Featherby's book for publication, and I shall receive an advance any day now. I thought I would have to pay for publication, but he's changed his mind. It seems that being a man makes quite a difference in these matters! The money won't be enough to give me independence now, but it is a step in the right direction. I can see a day when I will have some autonomy over my life."
"That Mr. Snodfellow, Snodgrass, whatever his name is, is going to kick himself when your book is successful."
"I know. It sounds arrogant, Marianne, but I know that Garden of Lilies is going to be a success."
"I enjoyed every word, and you made me laugh out loud at times. I just hope your Uncle Harold doesn't recognize himself in Uncle Onslow Wilbury," said Marianne laughing.
"Perhaps that's one of the advantages of having a nom de plume," replied Olivia.
They fell about in a fit of the giggles and for a moment forgot the sea of troubles around them.
As their laughter subsided, Olivia's thoughts once more returned to her niece. "I hope that Jocelyn will marry. My fear is that this scandal has ruined her alongside me."
"I do not believe that you need worry on that score" said Marianne with confidence. "Lord Hastings continues to visit, and I believe Lord Ludlow will return as soon as he can. His family estate is also not too far from Belvedere Abbey, and I know the family.
"So, try to enjoy your visit to Belvedere Abbey. The Duke and Duchess of Hargrove are kind people, and that's unusual for those in the top drawer of the ton. The Abbey is one of the great houses in England, and the sculptures and artwork are second to none. I believe there are Roman and Greek statues on display."
Marianne kissed Olivia's cheek as she prepared to leave. "Enjoy the visit. Despite your reluctance to leave, I'm convinced that it will do you good to be away from London and the gossip."
***
Half an hour later, Olivia was gathering her reticule and waiting for Ellen to bring her pelisse when Lord Hastings arrived to visit Jocelyn. She suggested Jocelyn take Lord Hastings for a walk in the garden, and there would be no need for a chaperone as Mrs. Jennings was there.
She took the small carriage into town. She would usually have walked, but she felt a certain apprehension about being out and about on the streets, while the gossip circulated.
If Mrs. Groves had heard the rumors, she showed no sign of it. Olivia and Ellen were welcomed with warmth, and Mrs. Groves brought out bolts of lace and ribbon in the latest style from Paris. Olivia bought a yard and a half of a sumptuous apricot silk ribbon. Ellen suggested some lace edging in a curious shade of dark green.
"It's from Belgium where they are using a new technique for dyeing their lace. You won't get better quality," Mrs. Groves informed them.
"I really like the color," said Olivia, wondering if she was spending too much of her miserly uncle's money. She decided that, after the way he had behaved with Lord Hatfield, she would go ahead and buy the lace.
She bought the same lace in dusky pink for Jocelyn and a yard of Nottingham lace for Ellen and Mrs. Jennings.
Uncle can afford this, and he is the one who insisted on me taking part in a London season, against my wishes.
As they walked to the door of the haberdasher, they stood back to allow Lady Clara Jackman, and her daughter the Honorable Priscilla Jackman, to enter the shop. The expression on Lady Jackman's face would have been hilarious in other circumstances. As soon as she recognized Olivia, she took a step backwards, pulling Priscilla after her.
Olivia curtsied a welcome, and the expression on Lady Jackman's face showed an agony of indecision. She could hardly cut Olivia, but it was obvious she wanted to. After a few seconds she nodded curtly in recognition and pulled her daughter away from Olivia and Ellen.
Ellen opened the door and as they made their way back to the carriage.
"I am ruined," said Olivia, feeling strangely calm, even though she had now experienced being cut by an acquaintance she had known for many years.
"I don't think I quite believed it till today," she continued as much to herself as to Ellen. She was lost in a world of her own and didn't hear the voice at first. Ellen nudged her arm and Olivia returned to reality with a jolt. She looked up and gasped with surprise.
Jonathan … Sir Jonathan Ellington … stood before her on the pavement.
The one person she had hoped never to see again stood in front of her.
She felt a moment of satisfaction as she noticed that Sir Jonathan Ellington looked as shocked as she did.
She nodded and curtsied in greeting.
At the same time she became aware that her hands had begun to tremble and her palms felt sweaty with panic. A wave of nausea swept through her body.
I don't want to be here. I never wanted to see Jonathan again.
All the time she maintained a polite, yet distant expression on her face.
"Olivia, you look well," he said. "I hadn't expected to see you in town."
Does he mean that he didn't want our paths to cross, or that he didn't expect me to be out and about due to the scandal?
"Thank you, so do you, Sir," she murmured indistinctly in response, noticing that he was not making eye contact with her. Instead, his eyes were fixated on her hairline, the side of her face where the scars were hidden.
She took a deep breath. "Are your family well?" she enquired with politeness.
"They are all in good health," he replied and then he smiled that familiar smile, where the dimple in his chin stood out.
I used to find it so endearing, she thought. And now?
I certainly feel strange. There is a tug of something within me. I feel that pull towards past memories. If nothing else we are old friends with a shared past, we grew up in the same part of the country. We planned a life together. There was something between us, once, long ago.
"It was a pleasant surprise to see you, Olivia. I'll bid you good day as I am expected elsewhere within a half hour," said Jonathan, excusing himself as he continued on his way.
After she had said farewell to Jonathan, she climbed into her waiting carriage and the feelings of agitation diminished. She felt her feet firmly back in the present day.
***
Next day Olivia and Jocelyn were back in the barouche carriage, traveling to Belvedere Abbey. Uncle Harold had wished them well and disclosed to them that he was taking the household staff, including Mrs. Jennings to visit Silverton Hall to see the renovations and begin to make plans for the re-opening.
"Did you have a pleasant time with Lord Hastings when he visited yesterday?" asked Olivia, with a gentle smile. "I admire him for continuing to visit our family, when so many appear to have ostracized us."
"Yes, I did have a pleasant time. He is a very genteel and solicitous gentleman. I agree with what you say. We had a steady stream of guests calling before the gossip began. Now we have few visitors and Ethan, the Marquis of Hastings, is the only man who now calls regularly."
"Is there any news of Lord Ludlow?" Olivia asked with interest. She noticed that Jocelyn's cheeks flushed at the mention of that gentleman's name.
"He is still out of town," Jocelyn said quietly.
"Has he written at all?" Olivia continued.
"No, not after that first note."
She saw an expression, almost of pain, cross Jocelyn's face and knew instinctively that something was wrong.
"Josie, what is it? I can see there is something troubling you?" Olivia said.
Jocelyn fidgeted and shifted her position on the long bench in the carriage. After a few seconds' silence she spoke in a hoarse voice, so quiet that Olivia struggled to hear her words.
"He proposed. He made me an offer of marriage."
"Colin? Lord Ludlow?" Olivia asked in surprise.
"No, the Marquis of Hastings. Yesterday, while we were walking in the garden. He told me that he loved me and hoped I would agree to be his wife," clarified Jocelyn.
"Oh Josie. A proposal of marriage," Olivia said, clapping her hands.
"Indeed. I was taken quite by surprise."
"Has he spoken with Uncle?" Olivia asked.
"I'm not sure. Uncle hasn't said anything," Jocelyn replied.
"I don't like to pry, but I have to ask if you accepted his offer." Olivia couldn't hide her curiosity.
"I told him I needed time to consider it. I feel warm towards Ethan. He has kept seeking out my company, despite all the gossip swirling around about our family. I never expected any proposals in view of the impact of the scandalmonger."
"That seems sensible, to tell him that you needed time to think about it," agreed Olivia.
Jocelyn nodded. The carriage had slowed down, and they could hear rain drumming against the roof of the barouche.
"It's so strange. I've often thought about the day when someone would propose to me. He tried to make it romantic and special, and I should have felt joy and happiness. Olivia, I expected to feel thrilled and excited at the prospect of marriage and we both know the Marquis is rich, considerate, and he must admire me a great deal."
"And …?" prompted Olivia.
"I felt numb and uncertain what to say. I don't love him. But, in view of this scandal, I know I may never receive a better offer, and I do not wish to spend my days living in uncle's household. My choice may very well be between being Marchioness of Hastings, with my own establishment, or living quietly at Swanbourne Place and Silverton House," admitted Jocelyn.
Olivia felt tears welling up in her eyes at this sad, sorry state of affairs. Although she was in no way responsible, she somehow felt that she was the cause of Jocelyn's predicament.
"You don't love Lord Hastings?"
"All I know, Olivia, is that when I was with Colin… Lord Ludlow, that I felt an excitement. I looked forward to his visits and I felt an emptiness when he left. I hoped, I expected that he would propose. He had certainly hinted that he wished to be with me forever. Yet he left so suddenly and I'm in a strange sort of limbo, wondering if he will return," confessed Jocelyn.
"Of course he will return. His mother had an accident, and it was thought she was near death. As soon as he can leave her I'm sure he will return to London," Olivia reassured her.
"I know, and most of the time I believe what you say. His letter was brief, but he was about to set out on a journey, and he couldn't have known if his mother would be alive or dead when he arrived at Granville Hall."
"Then keep believing that," asserted Olivia.
"The trouble is… my difficulty is that he may have left because of the gossip. Look what happened to you with Sir Jonathan. You were in love and engaged and one day, in the midst of our grief, he called and jilted you," said Jocelyn.
"It really isn't quite the same. You mustn't worry. Remember, I had also lost my fortune and my looks. He knew about the scars, and I believe my disfigurement was a significant reason for him withdrawing from our engagement," replied Olivia.
As Olivia was speaking, she was feeling a wave of disappointment as she had been certain that Lord Ludlow was a perfect match for Jocelyn. She knew she mustn't let that color her advice to Jocelyn.
"The difficulty is that I can't know. All I could think was that I needed time and space to think. I explained we were due to visit Belvedere Abbey and I would give him my decision on my return." Jocelyn paused briefly. "I may accept him. I am truly confused about what to decide."
"You should have time to think at Belvedere Abbey. It sounds as though that's exactly what you need at the moment. You can settle your feathers at the Abbey."
"I have something to share with you too," confessed Olivia. "I saw Jonathan yesterday."
"Really?" gasped Jocelyn "Did he call?"
"No, I don't believe uncle would welcome him at Swanbourne Place. I met him in the street outside Grover's haberdashery. It was pure chance."
"What did he say to you?" Jocelyn was now the one who was curious.
"Very little. Formal greetings, followed by enquiries about our families. It was all over within a couple of minutes," Olivia told her.
"How did you feel?" Jocelyn continued her questioning, obviously eager to know all.
"Very strange, if I'm honest. For a second or two it was almost as though I stepped back in time. I soon realized, though, I no longer felt the same way about him."
"I'm glad. He caused you immeasurable distress, at a time when you needed love and comfort from your fiancé," said Jocelyn.
"What I can share, is that he never once looked at me, he could not take his eyes away from my hairline and the place where I have the scars," Olivia told her.
"That's dreadful," exclaimed Jocelyn.
"I'm not sure he was even aware of what he was doing. It does reinforce what I always believed about his reasons for abandoning me after the fire."
"It's brave of you to share it with me," said Jocelyn, taking Olivia's hand and holding it.
As the carriage trundled out of London, and along the turnpike towards Longhamsted, Olivia experienced a mixture of anxiety and excitement. She remembered the journey last autumn, and as always, her thoughts went back to the day she had spent with Marcus in the woodland glade. Cendrillon. He'd called her his Cendrillon.
Jocelyn cried out with excitement as she saw the tower of Belvedere Abbey. "It's said that the view from the tower is the best in the county and that's why they called it Belvedere. It used to be a monastery in Medieval days, I believe," she said.
"There are lots of legends in this land. You'll love the story about Lady Matilda and her Plantagenet King," Olivia informed her.
"And somewhere deep in that forest you had a magical day with your own handsome prince," Jocelyn teased Olivia.
"Jocelyn, no, you must never mention that. Certainly not while we are staying at Belvedere Abbey," demanded Olivia.
When the carriage pulled into the circular driveway in front of the Abbey, Olivia took a sharp inward breath. She was certainly in uncharted waters now.
They were bundled into the house, under the cover of an umbrella, as a light drizzle fell. Olivia held Marguerite close to her as they climbed the steps leading up to the main door.
Once inside the house she saw Marcus standing in the great hall with a woman, whom she guessed must be his mother, the Duchess of Hargrove.
The woman stepped forward to greet them. "Welcome to our home. We're delighted to have you here at the Abbey. I'm the Duchess of Hargrove, Marcus' mother."
Olivia's gaze rose up to the huge, vaulted ceiling, and the oak paneling which must have been there since the Middle Ages. The sound of their voices echoed around the room, and it really did resemble a fairytale setting.
The Duchess bent over to look at Marguerite and comment on the little dog's beautiful face. "I believe you have met my son's dog, Hera. She's here somewhere. We let the dogs stay in the house and not the stable. That's never been our custom at the Abbey.
"Now, Mrs. Kirkland, our housekeeper, will show you to your rooms. You're on the second floor, and in the morning you should have a view of the lake. Your maid will be in the other wing, and I'll ask Mrs. Kirkland to make sure she knows where everything is. It won't be that dissimilar to your own household I'm sure," the duchess reassured them.
Olivia felt at ease with Marcus' mother. She had greeted them warmly and even though the duchess must know about the gossip, and the possibility of marriage, she showed no sign of this.
"Now, my dears, I'm hoping that after you've refreshed yourselves that you will feel able to join us for supper. The duke is resting but is looking forward to meeting you later."
Olivia assured her that they would be happy to join the family for dinner. They had made the right decision, coming here.
The duke was clearly delighted to meet them and began to tell them about the history of the house. Jocelyn asked him about the legend of Lady Matilda, and he insisted on taking her to see a painting of this mysterious scene in the woods close to the Abbey. Jocelyn gave Olivia a knowing look at that point as if to say that there were more modern adventures in the Hargrove Forest.
So far, Olivia had only spoken briefly with Marcus, when he had assured her he was pleased to see her, and he was sorry for the anxiety and distress which she must have felt during the last week.
Now he spoke to Jocelyn and Olivia. "I'd be delighted to take you both on a tour of the Hargrove estate in the morning. I believe you both ride?"
They both assured him they could.
"I'd join you, but I have an appointment in the village in the morning," said the duchess. "Let's hope for a sunny morning. There's nothing better than a ride around the estate. Marcus, you must take them into the woods and down to the lake."
"Of course, Mama," he agreed. At that moment his eyes met Olivia's and she felt hot, then cold, then hot again as she felt sensations of fire then ice and fire once more.
Oh no. It's happening again, she thought. Why does Marcus always have this effect on me? I must get a grip . If I am to stay here, then I must maintain control of my emotions.
***
Next morning did indeed dawn bright and clear. The sun was shining, and the early morning mist broke into strands like ribbons and floated away into the blue sky.
Ellen came to dress Olivia's hair and to tell her that Jocelyn felt very tired. "She fears that she may be coming down with a chill. She doesn't feel up to a ride around the estate, My Lady."
"Oh, poor Jocelyn. Should I stay in case she needs me?" asked Olivia.
"I'm here and can tend to her. There is no need for you to stay, and I believe it would distress her to know you had called off your tour of the estate for her. I think she is exhausted and needs a rest, that's all," said Ellen reassuringly.
Ellen helped Olivia dress in her riding habit of green velvet with a hat with matching green feather.
"You look lovely, my Lady," said Ellen. "You have a glow around you. If I didn't know otherwise, then I'd say you were in love."
Ignoring Ellen's comment, Olivia said, "I'll leave Marguerite with Jocelyn, that will help cheer her up."
The horses were saddled and waiting for them in the stable courtyard.
"Moonbeam is a gentle mare," said Marcus, "I think you'll enjoy riding her. Don't be deceived though, she can gallop faster than most horses."
"She is a lovely horse," agreed Olivia.
"Come, let's set off," said Marcus. "It's a long journey around the estate, we may not complete the circuit today."
After trotting, then cantering across the parkland, they broke into a gallop and raced across the wilder downs.
When Marcus slowed to a walking pace, they moved toward the northern woods in companionable silence.
"The countryside here is beautiful," Olivia told him. "I love the contrast between the heathland and the hills."
"I suspect you will recognize the scenery soon. We're close to Viscount Leighton's lands."
"My mother insisted that you see the forest and the lake, and we're almost there. The horses can take a drink and rest." He paused before adding, "While I show you the hidden glade and the lake, Cendrillon."
Olivia drew in a breath, of course they were approaching the place where they had met for the first time on that autumn day."
Marcus led the way down a pathway along the valley side. Olivia heard the stream and knew they were nearing the hidden glade.
Her memories of that first meeting had stayed with her throughout the winter. Since they had met again, she'd often imagined herself back in that glade, far away from the real world in a cocoon of fairy tale romance.
As she wrote love scenes in the book she was writing, Marcus was her inspiration. She knew all the heroes she wrote about in future would be based on the Earl of Hatfield. When they were together her eyes followed him. When he spoke, she listened to the timbre of his voice and knew she could listen all day. When he touched her, sometimes by chance, her heart raced, and she could think of nothing else.
She heard his voice, the smooth, deep tones bringing her back to the present moment.
"We can let Hector and Moonbeam rest for a while," said Marcus.
Marcus came round to offer Olivia his assistance in dismounting from Moonbeam. She felt dizzy when his arms enfolded her, to lift her gently to the ground. Held close against him, she longed to lean closer to his long, lean body. As he let go of her, she put her head close to Moonbeam, as she recovered from the extreme dizziness she felt after being lifted down by Marcus.
"Come," he said gently and took her hand to lead her into that familiar forest glade. Olivia raised her eyes to his, feeling suddenly shy as she remembered that first day when they had met. She gazed into his eyes, and he spoke so quietly that she almost didn't hear his words.
"I could drown in those blue eyes every day," he whispered.
They looked at each other, their eyes locked.
Olivia smiled. She relaxed into the moment as he took her into his arms. "Cendrillon," he said. "I'm still convinced you are a creature from the land of fae."
Her fluttering nerves calmed, and she felt safe. As she looked up into his eyes, she had the sensation of leaving the real world a long way behind her.
I think I've stopped breathing, she thought. Maybe this is enchantment and we're in a fairytale world where I'm Cendrillon with her handsome prince.
When he spoke the words were muffled at first, and it took her a few seconds to return to reality. He offered her his arm and she felt the spark of warmth spreading throughout her body.
"Let's walk by the lake," he said, moving apart from Olivia and offering her his hand. They walked together and he showed her the glistening, silver lake and how it merged into the horizon.
"I love to swim here," he told her. "It's what I was doing on the day that we met. Why didn't you tell me you were a lady?" he asked.
"I didn't say I wasn't a lady," she responded. "You didn't tell me you were an earl. In fact, I remember being convinced that you were in fact a local farmer."
"A local farmer?" he asked in surprise, "Olivia. I think that may, in fact, be a compliment."