Chapter 9

CHAPTER 9

Sela

All of the locals are packed into the big great room of the lodge, but we manage to squeeze through and head down the hall. I stop at the entrance to the hallway. "Why are you stopping?" Miles asks.

"Thinking. If we take rooms on the back of the lodge, we're away from the green space. That could be good. But if they're coming through the woods like we think, that could be bad."

"Yeah. I think the green space side. That way, if they try to come in the back side, they've got a room and the hallway between us and them, but if they're trying to come in from the green space, they're totally exposed."

"Yeah. That's my thinking too. Let's find a room." Nobody seems to use those rooms much, probably because they pick up noise from the drive. Frankly, we need to hear those sounds now. The second room is one of the largest. "I think this one. It's plenty big and has a nice bathroom."

"Where are Natalie and Paddy?" Miles asks.

"I dunno. Let me see if I see them anywhere." As I head on down the hallway, I hear voices. "Hey, guys," I call out to Ghost and Priest. "You guys shacking up together?"

"Yeah, we decided it would be best if we were two to a room. You know, not alone," Ghost says.

I nod. "Probably best."

"You got a room?" Priest asks.

"Yeah. Second one on this side. Seen Natalie and Paddy?"

"They're packing. Said they'd be here in a few minutes." I just nod and walk back to our room.

Miles is unpacking stuff and putting it away. "Aren't you gonna put your stuff away?"

"I'm hoping we're only here for about thirty-six hours."

"Me too, but realistically, it might be more." He's hanging up clothes and putting stuff in the bathroom.

There's a rap on the doorframe and I turn to see the sheriff standing here. "Got a minute?"

"Looks like we've got all kinds of time," Miles says.

"This is for you." SheriffStafford extends his hand and in it is a handgun, a Glock. Looks like a Glock 19. I reach for it, but he shakes his head. "No. Bear."

Miles' mouth falls open. "I can't―"

"I talked to Steve and the governor. There's no way they can get everything pushed through in time, but you need this." That's when I notice that the grip is wrapped in tape. "Let her rack the first round in. Your fingerprints won't be anywhere on it. Here's two extra magazines. If you have to change one, use your shirttail to rack a round in and throw the empty mag away. Pond, river, somewhere. Just get rid of it."

"We could all go to prison over this," Miles murmurs.

"We could all die without it. I'm not taking that chance. Priest and Ghost are getting one too. You got your own sidearm?" he asks me.

"Yep. SIG Sauer P226 chambered for three fifty-seven, Rem 870 and Rem 700," I answer, listing my handgun, my pump-action shotgun, and my bolt-action rifle. "And plenty of ammo for everything."

"No nine mil?"

"No."

"Then here." He hands Miles two boxes of ammo. "Now you've got plenty." With that, he just spins and walks away.

My baby just stands there, blinking. "What just happened here?"

"A man in a position of authority told you to protect yourself. Thank goodness for that. Now you can."

"I don't feel comfortable with this, Sela. I could go back to prison for the rest of my life."

"Or your life might not be that long."

"I can't. I won't." He places the handgun carefully on the dresser. "I'll take my chances."

"Fine. Then for god's sake, stay hidden."

We don't say a lot after that. He's made his position clear, and I think I've made mine equally so. I usually love him more for taking what he thinks is the right stand, but he's making a wrong call on this one. We have sandwiches and chips for dinner and some other leftovers. Audrey has plenty of food in the place, so Virginia can feed all of us. The kitchen is so full that we take our food and go back to the lodge, and we're not the only ones with that idea. There are probably twenty other people over here with us.

The evening seems to drag. Everybody is on alert, and everybody is already exhausted. At ten, Miles finally pats my thigh and sighs. "I'm going to bed. Might as well. I can't take it anymore."

"Okay. Right behind you." He stands and reaches for my hand, but I shake my head. "I'm getting a couple of bottles of water. Be there in a minute." As I stand there, he gives me a tiny smile and turns to wander down the hallway and disappear into our room.

I grab the bottles of water, a couple of granola bars, and a few pieces of paper towel, and make my way to the bedroom. I can hear Paddy and Natalie talking down the hallway, but the sound is muffled when I close the door. Miles is in the bathroom, brushing his teeth, so I set everything down and start pulling off clothes. I brought a little cotton gown with me, so I pull that on and wait. When he comes out, I go in, brush my teeth, brush my hair, and hit the head one last time. By the time I get back out there, he's in bed, his bedside lamp turned off and the covers pulled up to his chest. Sliding under them, I scoot up against him, and his arms unfolds, beckoning me into his embrace. With my arm draped across his chest, I sigh, and I feel his lips brush my forehead. "I love you, Sela," he whispers.

"I love you too. We're gonna be okay. I have to believe that."

"I want to. I'm so scared for you."

"I'm scared for us all." He squeezes me tighter, and I kiss his pec and stroke a finger down through the hair on his chest. Lying here with him, I feel completely safe.

But I know better.

I sit bolt upright in bed when I hear the tone. "What the fuck?"

"Shit." Miles' slippers are on and he's headed up the hallway in his pajama pants. I slip on my slippers and hurry that direction.

Out in the big room, Ghost is already standing there in front of the call box, and he pushes the button. "This is App STAR base. Go ahead, central dispatch. Over."

"Roger, App STAR base. We've got a report of a child lost on Moss Holler Trail. Repeat, report of a child lost on Moss Holler Trail. Over."

Ghost looks around at Miles, Paddy, and Priest. "What the hell do we do?"

We all pivot when the door opens and Patch strides in. "Well? What do you want to do?" he asks the four men.

"What do you mean, what do we want to do? We're already under a red alert and we're supposed to do this?" Paddy snaps.

"This is our responsibility," Priest reminds him.

"But Natalie is here, and so is Sela. And if we leave―"

Patch runs a hand through his close-cropped hair. "Yeah, but Priest is right. And the women are as safe here with the rest of us as they would be if you were here."

Miles straightens. "I disagree with that statement, but I do agree that this is our responsibility. Those people out there with guns surrounding our home here, they're here because we've taken our responsibility to this community seriously. Every physical body we add to this place is an added layer of security, but we still have to do what we're asked to do for this community. I'm with Priest. Paddy, if you really feel you should stay here, that's your call, and I won't fault you for it, brother. We all have our own decisions to make. But I'm going. Priest?"

The shorter man nods. "With ya."

"Ghost?"

"That kid needs findin', and I'm here to help."

Miles turns and looks at Paddy. "Brother? What say ye?"

I feel bad for Paddy. He loves Natalie, but he wants to do the right thing. "Okay. Let's go."

"If you're not all in, it would be better if you stayed here."

"No. I'm all in. And I've got most of my EMT training and you might need that, plus I'm the only one of the four of us who can carry a weapon, and we might need that."

"True. Let's go. Everybody suited up. At the Jeeps in ten."

As they stream toward the door, Miles is bringing up the rear, and Patch catches him by the arm. "Be very careful out there. Those guys might already be in the woods. If they recognize you as one of us, you could become a bargaining chip, and we don't need that."

"Understood, chief. We'll keep watch." He's about to step through the door when he turns and looks back at me. "I love you, banrigh . Do what Patch and Steve tell you and stay safe."

Instead of answering him, I run straight for him, and he catches me and lifts me off my feet to kiss me. When he pulls back, he smiles down into my face. "There's more where that came from. Be a good girl." Then, with a peck on my lips, he's gone.

Something inside me torques, and for the first time since all of this started, I'm terrified. I just want him to come back, for everything to go back to normal, for us to curl up in his big bed and sleep peacefully, knowing that our world is okay. My chest is heaving and so is my stomach. They've no more than made it out the door when Patch's phone rings. It's three in the morning, and I wonder who would be calling.

"Uh-huh. Okay. Good. Thanks for letting me know. I'll pass it along to everybody. Thanks."

"News?"

Patch nods. "Angelo. His inside guy says one of the assassins here called DonJulio to let him know they know where Sela and Natalie are and they're getting ready to do the deed." Hearing them called assassins for the first time makes my skin crawl and sets up a burning in the pit of my stomach.

"When?"

"He's sure they'll wait until dark this evening. That gives us some time, but puts us at a disadvantage. They'll be watching us prepare, so we've got to be really careful about what we're up to. It's got to be business as usual. But it does give us some time to get some trackers out into the woods and try to find them before they can take a shot."

"True. I'll get on the phone and find out about the FBI agents as soon as it's light out."

Patch nods. "Steve's got guys who'll go out there and work the hills. Hollywood, Bulldog, Reboot, and I can help them since we know a lot of the territory."

"Sounds good." It's all churning in my mind, and I'm overwhelmed. "I need some sleep if I can get any." That's the moment I hear the sound of the Jeep racing out the drive. My eyes close and my heart starts to pound. "Please tell me―"

"They'll be fine, Sela. They're well-trained and alert. They'll make it back in one piece."

"I hope you're right. Night." That's it. I'm done. There's nothing more for me to do until it gets light outside.

And there's no telling what will happen at nightfall.

Bear

Well, that was quick. It took us less than an hour to find the kid. He was hiding in a small overhang under some rocks, and the only reason we found him so quickly was because he giggled as we walked by. He's nine and developmentally delayed, so he's more like a toddler. His parents have a terrible time keeping him in the house, and he managed to get the slip on them. They wouldn't have known he was gone except that the dog woke them up jumping on their bed―a dog that sleeps outside at night. He left the door wide open when he went out, and the dog seemed to have waited a little while before he went in.

Now we're out, it's getting light, and I want to alert Patch that we're on our way back. As soon as we pull in, we all head straight for the lodge. Virginia catches us on our way by. "Breakfast is ready anytime you guys are, such as it is." I know what that means. She fixed what she had, and that's fine. It's food.

"Thanks, Ms.Virginnie. We'll be right back," I promise her as I follow the other three guys.

I slip off my clothes and slide under the covers to cuddle Sela. "Oh, god, you're back," she whispers, her voice coarse with sleep.

"Yeah. Just got back. Showering and going to the kitchen. You coming?"

"You get in. I'll get in when you get out." And she rolls back over. That makes me smile, and I kiss the back of her neck before I climb out and wander to the bathroom.

We're all in the kitchen, dozens of people trying to eat and get back outside, when the door opens and a short, stout guy with shoulder-length blond dreads steps in, dressed in gray-toned urban camo. Everybody turns, and he looks a bit startled. "I'm, um, looking for SteveMcCoy."

Patch is already on his feet. "And you are?"

The man holds out a hand confidently and when Patch takes it, I can see his firm grip. "PeytonFlores-Stokes. I work for TonyWalters. He asked me to come."

"Oh! I'm PatchScott, the farm's owner."

"Yeah, I've heard all about you!" the man says, his smile warm. "Army MEDEVAC/CASEVAC." He points to Patch's patch. "Afghanistan, right?"

"Yep."

Peyton lifts his left pantleg where his prosthesis is clearly visible. "Fallujah."

Patch pats him on the shoulder. "We're brothers in more ways than one! Um, Steve's around here somewhere. Probably in the lodge. He didn't tell me you were coming."

"He didn't know. Tony said my expertise might be useful." We're all listening intently. "Former Ranger sharpshooter. Need to find a vantage point and dig in." Holy shit. Might be useful? Fuck yeah, I reckon so.

"Hey, y'all, reinforcements are here!" a voice calls out as Zeke steps in, Drew right behind him.

"Glad to see you guys!" Patch says and gives Zeke a bro hug, followed by Drew. "You know all of our guys, but these are community members who've volunteered to help us keep watch," Patch says, sweeping an arm out. "And we've just met this fella here. ZekeCalhoun and DrewKoopman, meet PeytonFlores-Stokes, former Ranger sharpshooter." We watch as Zeke and Drew greet Peyton. I feel better already just knowing that these guys are here, and this Peyton guy must really be something for Tony to send him. "Please, help each other as best you can."

"Yeah, I need some guidance. You guys have been here before, so maybe you can help me find the best vantage point," Peyton says.

"Absolutely. We'll get our heads together," Drew assures him. "Where are all the feebs and KSP?"

"We don't have that many, but they're down the road at the other farm we just bought, using it as a covert staging area. They figured too much of a presence in broad daylight would tip our hand," Patch explains.

"Probably best. Can we get them on the phone?" Zeke asks.

Patch nods. "Absolutely. We all need to coordinate. You guys can have our office over in the lodge." Just as quickly as they appeared, the three men disappear out the door with Patch leading them.

"Wow. Army Ranger sharpshooter," I murmur.

Sela's eyes are still wide. "They're bringing out the big guns."

"Yeah. We're gonna need 'em." I swallow my last bite of pimento cheese sandwich―hey, it's something, and something's better than nothing, even for breakfast―and stand. "I'm going over there with them. I want to know what's going on. You coming?"

"No. I can't. I just… can't. My brain is shutting down."

Her temple is soft and her hair smells like lilacs when I lean down and press a little kiss to it. "I get it. Just watch your back―always."

"Yep. Absolutely." Something about the way she answers me makes me a little afraid. It's almost like she's given up. That can't happen.

Steve's on the phone when I step into the office. "Uh-huh. Okay. Let us know. Yeah, I knew it would take something like that, but I'm glad they've at least got it underway. Sure. Right. Okay. And thanks for sending Peyton. Bye." Steve hangs up and sits there, motionless, for a few seconds while everybody else waits. Finally, he says, "You guys need to know, it's killing him to not be here with you."

What did we do to make these people care about us so much? We are beyond blessed to have them supporting us and to call them friends. "He can't be here. There's too much risk, and he's got a lot of businesses to think about and people who depend on him," Patch says.

"I know. That's what I told him."

"You should go too, Steve," Peyton says. "We've got this. Go home to Kelly and CJ."

"No. I've never really done shit with my life, and this is my chance."

"Don't say that. You gave me a chance when nobody else would. Everything I have now, my job, my home, Molly, José, the kids, I have all of that because of you." Peyton stands there, arms folded across his chest, but a look of compassion in his eyes. "Your life has made an enormous difference to a lot of people. Go home. Let us handle this."

"No. I'm here for the duration." Steve sighs heavily, but the next words from his mouth take me by surprise. "He called about Angelo. They managed to get three more guys inside the compound. Apparently there's a tunnel, and they found it. They planted explosives all through it, so tonight at nightfall, the whole compound is coming down as soon as I let them know our marks here have been neutralized."

"Seriously?" Zeke asks.

"Yeah. Absolutely. I know you have no idea what I'm talking about, but Patch can fill you in. Let's just say the guys here? Their boss is going to die tonight, and his vendetta will die with him. But that won't stop them. Future strikes, yes. This one, no. It's already been set in motion, so we have to run with what we're doing." His phone rings, and he hits ACCEPT, then speaker. "McCoy."

"Mr.McCoy, our agents are in place completely around the perimeter about a mile out," a voice says.

"Thank you, SSA Mathis."

"Yes, sir."

Before he stops, he hits a contact and the voice on the other end says, "Yeah, boss."

"You guys ready?"

"Yes, sir. We're set up between the FBI agents, some farther out and some closer in. Did Tony send Peyton?"

"Hey, Marshall!" Peyton calls out. "Yeah, I'm here."

"Hey, buddy! Boy, it's good to hear your voice! I've got some ideas on where you might want to plant yourself."

"Yeah, ZekeCalhoun and DrewKoopman are here with us, and I want their input too," Peyton announces, and the two Eagle Point men nod.

"Good deal. Let's put our heads together in about an hour, if you want."

Peyton grins. "Absolutely. Thanks, Marshall. Glad you're on board."

"Wouldn't have it any other way. Later."

"Okay. We all know what we're doing. We all know where we're going. Except for you," Steve says, pointing at Peyton, "but I know whatever you figure out, it'll be right."

Peyton gives him a knowing nod. "I know what I'm looking for, and so do they. We'll be fine."

Steve's text tone goes off, and he looks down at his phone. "According to one of Preston's guys, they've spotted the vehicle at a sporting goods store up in town. Once they leave, he's going to go in and question the employees, see what they bought. Most likely ammo, I'd say. It's go time, folks. Let's head to the kitchen and talk to the locals."

I let them all file out the door, but I turn toward the hallway. The door opens quietly when I turn the knob, and she rolls over and looks at me. "Thought I didn't see you, huh?" I ask with a smile as I close the door behind me and sit down on the side of the bed.

"Didn't think you noticed."

"If it's you, I'm always going to notice."

"Uh-huh." She scoots toward me, then takes my hand and kisses the back of it. That's something she's never done before. "I just… I can't. My brain is so scrambled."

"I get it, baby. Want me to stay?"

"Would you?"

"Of course. Nothing I'd like better."

"Don't you have an assignment?" she asks as I slip my boots off.

"Nope. I don't have a gun, remember? One of Preston's people just saw the car that followed you. They were at the sporting goods store, stocking up, or at least that's what Steve thinks."

"Yeah. I heard you guys talking. Can I just go to sleep now?"

"Yes. Let's." Lying here with her in my arms, everything is fine. Our world is intact and safe. I know that's not going to be the case in a few hours. There's no telling what tonight will bring, but for now, we're okay.

I'll take what I can get.

We're late to lunch, which is more of an early dinner, and as we're leaving the lodge to go to the kitchen, Paddy strides in. "Guess you heard the good news."

"Good news?"

"Yeah. KSP brought in an MRAP. If they need to remove Sela and Natalie in a pinch, they've got the ability to do that." Most of law enforcement has at least one of the mine-resistant ambush-protected vehicles for their tactical teams now, and it would take some kind of heavy firepower for them to hurt Natalie and me if they evacuate us in that thing.

"Yeah, and KSP's sending ten tactical foot soldiers. We've got a lot of help," Steve says. "We've got roughly five more hours. You guys make sure you know exactly where you're supposed to be. And Sela?"

"Yeah?"

"We've got your back, lady. Nothing to worry about. You couldn't be safer."

"Thanks."

If she didn't have confirmation before, she should now. Everybody's here for her and Natalie. And we won't quit until it's done.

I practically order her to finish lunch, and I'm hoping nobody interrupts us. Virginia set two huge pieces of apple pie aside for us, and we get those down with some tea. Before long we're the only two people in here except Virginia, and when we finish, we thank her and head back to the lodge.

That's when I see them. There's a man with a gun at every door and every window. I'm not talking about Steve's guys, or KSP, or FBI, or local law enforcement. I'm talking about our neighbors, the men of the community. They're standing guard, and I know they've probably worked out a schedule so that every entrance is covered at every moment. Our family is rallying around us, not the family we were born into, but the ones we've chosen. The ones who've chosen us. We stop and hug the guys by the door before we go in, then make our way inside.

As we lie there in the quiet, listening to the voices of the men in the great room, I sigh. There's a current running through everything today, and I realize what it feels like to me. An apocalypse. We're running out of time. "We're running out of time."

"What, babe?"

Shit. I didn't realize I'd whispered it out loud. "I said, we're running out of time."

"No, we're not."

She's either totally in denial or she's truly stronger under pressure. Not sure which it is, but apparently she's not feeling the fear I am. "It feels that way to me. Did you see Peyton?"

"Yeah. He's on the roof of the kitchen with a Lapua."

"A what?"

"A Lapua. A three thirty-eight Lapua. It's a sniper rifle."

"Wow." I hear a sound from outside, something both familiar and strange. "What was that?"

"Sounded like gunfire." I'm on my feet and moving in a split second.

"This is command base. Sniper one, got one in sight?" I hear Steve ask into the radio.

"Negative on that," a voice answers, and I know it's Peyton.

"Roger, sniper one. Keep me apprised every five minutes, over."

"Roger that, command base. Over."

"All agents, all agents, who fired? Over," Steve asks.

There's some crackling and finally a voice answers, "Command base, this is Smith. That was a local LEO. We've got one pinned down on the side of the mountain out here. He'll have to shoot his way out, and I'm not sure he can do that where he is. Over."

"Roger that. Any sign of the other? Over."

"Negative. Over."

"Keep us apprised, Smith. Command base, over."

I'm panicked. "What's going on?"

Steve sighs. "It's already started. They've got one pinned down. And they don't know where the other one is."

"Shit. I thought you said dark."

"I was wrong. We all were. But it's damn near dark anyway, will be totally dark in thirty minutes. All we can do is use an educated guess, and these guys had a different idea. It's under control, Bear. I promise, but we need to be ready."

There's a lot of cross-chatter on the radio, and I listen intently. It's heating up out there, and everyone is reporting back and forth on what's happening, what they're seeing, who's moving where. Patch and Steve are looking at the maps on the table and they know where everybody is, but I'm growing more confused by the minute. At some point, Patch looks up and catches my eye. "You okay?"

"Yeah. Trying not to panic."

"You should check on Sela," he says.

"But she's standing…" I turn and look. She's not right beside me, but I thought she came out of the bedroom with me. She's probably back there on the bed, still curled up. My feet are barely touching the floor when I run to our room, but my heart skips a few beats when I realize she's not there.

She has to be with Natalie. When I slide to a stop in front of their room, Natalie looks up at me. "Was that gunfire?"

"Yeah. Where's Sela?"

"I have no idea. Haven't seen her. I thought she was with you."

A quick check tells me she's not in the office, and I glance at my watch and try to remember… It's been almost an hour since I actually saw her myself. As I turn to go back, I notice something. The door on the other side of the hall from the office is open just a crack, and I open it the rest of the way and flip on the light switch. The window in that bedroom is closed.

But the curtain is closed in it. Fuck. I slide it open and look out. Even in the near-darkness I can see a man with a gun sitting there outside the window, his head cocked back and his mouth wide open. It sounds like somebody's running a chainsaw.

I know Sela. Tiptoeing past him would've been nothing for her. My whole body tenses, and I feel my heartbeat double. What has she done?

And I'm almost certain I know exactly where she is.

Sela

Patch really needs to work on security around here. It was way too easy for me to crawl through that window in the last bedroom on the back side of the lodge. Even with my weapons and ammo, it was no challenge. And my guard back there? He has no idea I stepped right over him. Bless their hearts, they mean well, but they're certainly not professionals.

This is my fight. They want me to hide and wait, to let the boys do the heavy lifting, but that's not who I am. Watching the tree line, I dart from one building to another until I finally reach our cottage. The cottage faces the green space and away from the forest, so I slip through the front door and close and lock it behind me. After I've smoothed out the covers on the bed, I start laying out everything. Handgun, rifle, shotgun. Ammo next to each. I load the weapons, then check all the magazines. Everything is full. I'm ready.

It's so quiet. Occasionally I hear a couple of muffled voices, but I can't tell where they're coming from. Fuck it, I wish I had a radio! The way these cottages are situated, I'm sheltered from the forest behind us, and also the wooded area toward the road. An hour has passed, and it's dark now. If I go out that way, no one can see me, but I can peer around, so I pull on my gray sweats, gray sweatshirt, and pull the hood up. When I open the front door just a crack, I can see Peyton on the roof of the kitchen, flat on his belly with his rifle in a tripod. No one from the tree line could possibly spot him, but I can from here. I slink toward the edge of the porch, then drop quietly and creep along the side.

And I wait, letting the darkness deepen. I occasionally peer around the back corner of the cottage, but I see nothing and no one. I know some of our men are out there, but I can't tell where. When I flatten my back against the side wall, I look up. Yeah, Peyton's seen me, and he's none too happy. I'll be ratted out in under thirty seconds. But I've got a gun, so what are they gonna do? Make me come back to the lodge?

Fuck that shit.

Bear

Everybody turns to stare. "She's not here! She went out a window in the back!"

Steve glares at me. "Yeah, no shit. She's at your cottage."

"What?"

"Sniper one, you can still see her?" Steve barks into the radio.

"Roger that, boss. She's up against the side of the cottage. Over."

He rounds on me, his eyes blazing. "Uh-huh. She's decided to play cowgirl. Bear, you had one job―"

"How the hell was I supposed to guess she'd pull this?" I scream. "Of all the dumbass, shit-stained, motherfucking crazy… I'm going after her." Two men step in front of the door.

"We can't let you do that," one of them says.

"You're not going to let me do anything. I'm going out there."

"No, you're not," Steve calls to me. "You're sitting your ass down here and waiting. I'll send a couple of men out there to get her."

"No. She won't come back with them. She'll only come back with me." I don't know if it's true or not, but I'm afraid it might be.

"Yes, she will. We'll make a compelling argument and―"

"No. She won't. I'm going out there." I step closer, and the two of them close ranks. "Look, I don't want to have to beat your asses, but I will if you don't move out of my way."

A voice I know all too well says, "Let him go," and I wheel around. Patch walks straight up to me. "Don't do this, Bear. Please. I beg you."

"I have to. You know I have to. If it was Penny, you'd do the same."

"I know. That's why I'm not going to let them hold you here, but I really wish you wouldn't. Please."

"I have to."

Patch nods at the men, and they step away from the door. "Then stay out of the line of fire."

"I will." One of them opens the door for me, and I look through to the outside. The green space, usually filled with laughter and chatter, is silent and dark. As I step out, I head around the corner of the building, slide along the side of the kitchen, and keep going. I can't see Sela from where I'm standing, partially hidden by some of the cottages, and I pray that wherever he is, that guy with the gun can't see me. As for Sela, I know where she is. And now I have to get to her. There are so many things I want to say to her.

I just hope I get a chance to say them.

When I round the back corner of the cottage next to ours, she's right there, and I step out toward her. But I hear a sound behind me, and I don't even turn. The look on her face as she spins and sees him is all I need to know. There's only one choice, one right one. Over thirty years ago, I chose violence. Over and over again in prison, I chose violence. I marked myself as a dangerous man, a violent man, a man whose only goal was mayhem. That's not my choice today.

Today, no matter what it costs me, in this place and at this moment, I choose love.

Sela

The organ music is disconcerting to me. I didn't go to church growing up, and I find it unpleasant. I'm also surprised at the smell. It's like the flowers are in my lap, they're so strong. The casket at the front is draped in red roses, and somebody said they were from community members, that a bunch of people got together and paid for them. That's quite a sacrifice, considering most of the residents here are below the poverty level. They appreciated his service, the things he did for them, and they wanted to pay their respects. Their gratitude has been evident throughout all of this.

After listening to the pastor drone on for a bit, everyone is invited to get up and say a few words. Several people do, plus Priest, Bulldog, and Ghost. Patch finally stands and makes his way up, but my mind is elsewhere.

All I can think about is that night. I relive it constantly.

I can see movement in the trees, but by watching it, I can tell it's some of our people. They're not nearly as stealthy as an assassin, and I should know. I've dealt with a few of those in my time. Out of habit, I check my SIG's chamber, then double grip it, slide to my chest. It's quiet, so quiet, and then I hear something and turn.

I'm looking straight into a gun barrel, but I don't get a chance to lift my gun before something blocks my vision and I hear a shot, then another from a distance. I'm lying on the ground, something heavy on top of me, and I realize it's probably the man Peyton just shot who was aiming at me. But then it occurs to me―there were two shots. Who…

It takes some effort to push whatever it is off me, and when it rolls away, I sit up and look around. The man with the gun is about twenty feet from me, and I can hear Peyton yelling something into his comm. If that wasn't him on top of me…

The light is dimming as I look to see who's beside me on the ground, and when I do, my heart freezes. Miles is lying there, a stain on his shirt and a trickle of blood coming from the corner of his mouth. "Miles! What the fuck―"

"I stopped him. You're safe. You're safe, Sela. I did it." I rolled him, so he started out face down on me. No. No, no, no. It only takes me a second to slightly roll him so I can look at his back, and when I look under him, there's blood everywhere. He took the shot in the back. All around me, shots are ringing out, and there's no way for me to get help to him. I can hear someone yelling something in a foreign language, and that's when I see it―the door to the crawl space under the cottage. There's a turn stick on the top, and I twist it so the little door falls open. He's heavy as lead, but I manage to drag him into the opening with me, then grab the door and pull it up until it's resting in place. It's black as pitch in here, but I pull out my phone and turn on the flashlight feature. The whole crawl space lights up, and there we are. "Miles, oh my god. Miles, talk to me. It's gonna be okay."

"Sela? Babe, are you okay? Please, Sela…" His voice trails off, and my hands start to shake.

"I'm right here, baby. Right here. Don't talk. Save your strength." My hands are shaking so hard that I'm having trouble hitting the right spots on the face of my phone.

"Where the hell are you?" a voice bellows in my ear.

"We're in the crawl space under the cottage! Miles has been shot! Patch, please help us!"

"We'll get to you as fast as we can, but we've got our hands full trying to get to the other guy. Just hang in there. Apply pressure and hang on, Sela. We'll get to you, I promise."

"Please, hurry! Please? Oh, god, please―"

A voice outside yells, "Sela!" There's the sounds of feet everywhere, and I wonder what's going on. Yelling is coming from farther away too, and I'm panicking and trying to figure out what's happening when the door falls open and a face partially obscured by full tactical gear says, "AgentBaldwin?"

"Yes! Oh my god, yes!"

"I'm LieutenantJonathan Morgan of the Kentucky State Police Tactical Response Team. You have a man injured here, correct?"

"Yes! Oh, god, please, don't worry about me! Just get him out of here and get him some help!" I'm crying so hard that I'm having trouble talking, and I watch as Miles slides out through the opening and disappears. I'm crawling right behind him.

"We've got one wounded on the north side of one of the cottages. Need medical assistance ASAP, over," Morgan says into his radio. "Ma'am, are you hurt?"

That's when I look down at myself and for the first time, I realize I'm covered in blood. "Uh, no. I don't think so. I think that's all his."

Morgan hits his radio again. "We've got a critical response on this man down. Repeat, critical response on the man down, over."

"Roger that, tactical. EMTs are on their way. Over."

The words are no more than out into the air when Bulldog and Drew come into view. "Holy shit, Sela, what happened?" Bulldog snaps.

"That guy," I say, pointing at the downed man as I sob, "was going to kill me. Miles knocked me out of the way."

"Let me see what we… Holy shit."

"How bad is it?" another voice asks, and I look up to see Paddy there.

"It's bad." Bulldog reaches for his shoulder comm. "Patch, you there?"

"Yeah. Go ahead."

"We need the bird. We've gotta get Bear out of here."

"I can get it, but Izzy's already in the air. KSP five, report. Over."

Izzy's voice is crystal clear, and I can hear the rotors somewhere nearby. "Roger that, App STAR base. I hear you. Down in two. Over.

"In the meantime, fluids?" Paddy asks.

"Yeah, IV push. And let me see if I can pack this." They're working like crazy over Miles, and all I can do is wring my hands and cry.

I'm the reason.

I'm the reason he's lying here bleeding and dying. If I'd just kept my ass in the lodge… If I'd just listened to orders… If I'd just done what I knew I was supposed to do…

What have I done? I've blown my life apart. I've made a mess. I've hurt Miles. "Is he―"

"I don't know, Sela. I really… There's Izzy. Go tell her where we are." I can hear the sound of their big Sikorsky whining off to the back of the cottages, and I know she's landing the bird.

"But the shooters―"

"They're both neutralized. Peyton got this one, and Preston's men finally got the other. Go get her! Now!"

My feet are flying across the grass and when I reach the bird, Reboot and Zeke are converging on it too. "Far side of your cottage?" Reboot asks.

"Yeah. Hurry!"

In minutes, Miles is on a backboard and headed to the bird. I can't do anything but stand and watch as they load him up. Reboot and Bulldog climb onboard with him, and in a flash, they're gone.

There I stand, in the grass, blood covering me, Paddy beside me, Zeke and Drew nearby, and a body lying twenty feet away. KSP officers have already surrounded it, and I know the FBI agents are somewhere in the woods, taking care of the body there. And now I don't know what to do. There's a handgun lying nearby, and for a split second, I think about picking it up and blowing my brains out. This is all my fault, not the whole thing, but what's happened to Miles is definitely my fault. I have nobody to blame for that but myself. If he doesn't make it… "What do I do now?" I ask in a tiny voice to no one in particular.

Paddy's arm wraps around my shoulders. "You go get cleaned up and somebody will take you to the hospital. Come on. Let's go."

The lawn is full of guys in tactical gear, camo, and uniforms. We walk on past and head straight for the lodge, Paddy propelling me along and Zeke and Drew flanking us. As we walk, I keep thinking about those words Miles said to me: "I'd die for you, banrigh . I'd do anything for you." He meant them. He lived them. Now he's going to die for them.

When we reach the lodge, two big burly guys open the doors and I step through. Steve, Patch, and Preston are standing there, and they all turn. Patch doesn't speak. Steve glares at me. "Sela."

That's my breaking point. "I'm so, so sorry. I just didn't want to sit here like a huge target and―"

"We told you it was under control. All you had to do was wait, and you couldn't. Do you realize what you've done?" he hisses.

I look down at myself, Miles' blood drying on my clothes, and wail, "Look at me! Don't you think I know? Don't you think I want to die? I want to die! I don't deserve to live!"

I don't remember a lot after that. I know Paddy gave me a sedative at Patch's instruction because I got so wild and out of hand. My next really clear memory was the moment the doctor stepped through the doorway of the waiting area, blood all over his hands and his gown, and asked for the McMillan family. It felt like my body weighed ten tons and my legs weren't strong enough for me to stand, but I did. Everybody was still mad at me, but I remember Penny taking my hand on one side and Mavis taking the other, and how my knees buckled as the doctor spoke. I ran outside and hit my knees on the pavement, not caring if anybody saw me, screaming at the sky, begging for one more chance, a chance I knew I wasn't going to get.

But here in the church, I'm shaken from that nightmare by warmth on my hand, and his big bear paw grasps mine and holds it tightly as he leans over to me and whispers, "You okay, banrigh ?"

I look up into those big brown eyes and see my own reflection, but that's not all I see. I see gentleness, and kindness, and love that I've never known before. My life was spared by his sacrifice. His life was spared by whatever it is these people in this place believe in, a higher power or a universal energy or sheer mercy or pure luck. I don't know. I don't pretend to know these things. All I know is that I have a second chance with this man, a man who by all rights should be dead, a man who made a split-second decision that allows me to sit here beside him today. I'm going to make the most of it every fucking day. No exceptions. The tear trailing down my face tickles as I nod gently to him, and his hand leaves mine, only to wrap around my shoulder as his arm stretches across the back of the pew and pulls me closer until I'm leaning into his side, a place I want to be for the rest of my life.

Careful not to smear my makeup as I blot my tears, I listen as Patch speaks. "I'm sure when he made that stop last Saturday, he never dreamed it would be his last. Every man on my team has dealt with Curtis at some time, and every man on my team found him to be fair, honest, and dependable, not to mention one of the smartest people I've ever met who also had an enormous amount of common sense. It's usually one or the other, folks. Most smart people don't have a lot of common sense." Everyone chuckles. "And yet, Curtis did. His deputies all looked up to him and respected him, and he shepherded them and taught them like a father. I do want to say to Matt and Darren," Patch says, turning toward the two younger men sitting on the front row, their jaws clenched as they fight tears, "Curtis was extremely proud of the two of you. He knew he could always count on you. He respected you as men and loved you like sons." Matt's head drops, and I know he's just lost his battle. "I'm thankful, this community is thankful, that you're here to carry on his legacy.

"In the coming weeks and months, there's going to be an arraignment. I don't know how that's going to turn out. But I do want to remind this community of something. The young man who committed the despicable act that led to us being here today… His family still lives in this community. They're scarred and broken too. He made a bad choice, several bad choices, in fact. He did a horrible thing. He robbed a woman of her husband, children of their father, grandchildren of their grandfather, and a community of a man they loved, respected, and trusted. But let me remind you of this. Out there on that farm with me are seven men who found themselves in a similar position once. One in particular found himself in a nearly identical situation." I know he's talking about Miles. "Today, they're contributing community members. They've paid their debts, done their time, worked hard, and rejoined society to help others. They've saved lives right here in this community, dozens of lives. When the young man whose path led us here today finishes whatever his penance is, I hope all of you will follow Curtis' lead and help us to lift him up, not tear him down again and again. It's what Curtis would want, for us to help him, and for us to pray for his family, that they might find peace. Wrap your arms around them. They need us now more than ever." He stops for a second, steps around the podium, and places his hand on the casket. "Thank you for your service, Curtis. You were my friend, and I'll miss spending time with you." Then he sits down beside Penny in a pew, head bowed. I know Patch. There are tears on his face, just like the faces of all the men in this room, strong men who aren't afraid to show people that they feel love and loss.

The ride to the cemetery is quiet until Miles says something that I don't catch. "What, babe?"

"He handed me that gun."

"What? You mean in the lodge that night?"

"Yeah. He handed me that gun. He wanted me to be safe. He didn't care that I was an ex-con. He just wanted me to be safe, for me to keep you safe. He knew he could get into trouble, and he didn't care. He was only thinking of us."

"I know. He was a great man. We were lucky to have him for as long as we did."

"Yeah. I made up my mind that I'm going down to the jail to talk to that kid next week. He needs to know that somebody sees more than just his deed. They see his addiction and his weaknesses, but they see his heart. I don't believe he's a bad person."

"It was the meth and fentanyl. It makes people do crazy things," I say, staring out the window to look at all the tombstones scattered across the cemetery. People are gathering under a tent nearby, and I see the pallbearers carrying the casket, a huge, mahogany monstrosity with brass fittings, toward the bier.

After the pastor has spoken, Aggie stands and steps up to the front, places her hand on the casket, then begins to sing. I was told that she sang a different song at the little boy's graveside service. This time, she sings "Amazing Grace," and it's truly beautiful. We stand outside the tent space, Miles behind me, his arms wrapped around my waist and my hands on his clasped ones. When she's finished and everyone starts to walk away, he makes his way to Matt first and then Darren to hug them both and tell them how much he appreciates them. Every KnottCounty deputy is here, and most of the Hazard Police Department. Every municipal worker from KnottCounty is here, from the fire and rescue department all the way down to the road crew, and a huge contingency of KSP from this end of the state is here. Izzy is standing nearby with Ghost beside her, her uniform neat and crisp. All of our guys are wearing suits and ties at Patch's order. He wanted them to look respectable and respectful, and they're an incredibly handsome bunch.

As we start away, I hear somebody say, "Hey, Bear!" Before we can turn, Ghost catches up to us. "Hey, can I catch a ride? Izzy's going back to the post."

Miles turns and smiles at him. "Sure." And there it is.

I love that smile. That smile means everything to me. He's absolutely everything to me. If I never, never see anything again in my entire life, I'll die a happy woman just because I saw that smile.