4. Dylan

Dylan

Chapter four

Cruise Itinerary: Sail Away Party 4:00 PM

"So, how do you know my brother?" I ask Ash as we make our way up to the Lido deck.

Ash bites his lip. It's a nervous habit I've already grown used to with the boy. If I wasn't so damn excited to see Noah again, Ash would definitely have my attention. Even so, Ash has my Daddy instincts rearing to the surface.

"You don't need to be nervous around me." I keep my tone soft. Comforting, as if I'm trying to soothe a frightened animal. I don't think Ash is scared of me, per se, but something about him seems guarded.

Thanks to all the audiobooks I've narrated, I know exactly how my voice comes across, and I smile when Ash drops his shoulders and relaxes.

"We sometimes get together and do a scene," Ash explains. "I met him at a club back home."

"Ah." That makes sense, given his submissive demeanor. "Are you a pup? Or into pet play?"

Ash shakes his head and takes a deep breath. "I'm a little."

I squeeze his shoulder and give him a smile. "Thank you for telling me."

He nods. "Most people back home don't know. Not even my best friend." Ash shakes his head. "I'll probably tell him soon. He knows everything about me except for this."

"Don't feel obligated to tell anyone. Being in the lifestyle is a very personal thing."

"Thank you." Ash gives me a soft smile. "But I think it's time. I want my best friend, Drake, to accept all of me. Plus, I think it's inevitable. Our friend group is getting smaller and smaller."

Ash tells me more about his best friend, and I get the impression he is in love with Drake. If not in love, then he at least harbors deep feelings for the man. It breaks my heart when I hear how much age play helps Ash, yet he's too scared of people thinking cruel thoughts.

"I bet it must be exciting to be here on a kinky cruise." I wave my hand at a few people wearing simple harnesses, and just behind them is a group of people in pup gear. "We're free to do what we want."

Ash nods, eyes sparkling. "I can't wait. I'm hoping to find some other littles to play with."

The Lido deck is packed with dancers and people meandering with fruity cocktails in their nautical themed outfits. Who knew the scent of the sea breeze, mingling with fruity drinks and suntan oil, would make a great combination? A sense of excitement swirls in my stomach. Up on the stage, a group of people are dancing some choreographed moves that make Ash giggle as soon as he spots them.

"Want me to grab you a drink?" I ask.

"Sure. Can you get me one of those pretty red drinks with an umbrella? I'll save us a good spot." Ash nods at a spot by the railing.

I stroll past a large group of people dancing by the pool and make my way to the crowded bar. Overhead, a banner hangs with all the various pride flags, while several men flirt as they lean against the countertop. Thankfully, I'm able to squeeze between them.

Once I flag down the bartender, ordering drinks doesn't take too long, and soon enough, he's sliding a shot glass my way. I down the clear liquid and tip the guy as soon as he places two frozen strawberry daiquiris on the bar top.

Ash squeals with excitement when I hand him a drink, keeping one for myself. I pluck a bright blue umbrella out of my sugary concoction and place it in Ash's glass. We lean against the railing, silently sipping our drinks while we people watch. From our vantage point, the ocean stretches out ahead, and passengers dance below.

I try to make out a familiar face or a certain head of pink hair, but there are too many people. God, I hope our Wi-Fi works from time to time, or we might never see each other. I'd made a promise to myself that I'd come out to my brother the next time I saw him.

There's a cheer to our left, followed by a whoop. "Ash! Dylan!"

A huge smile of anticipation covers my face.

As if summoning him out of thin air, Jules comes into view, fingers laced with Cal's. They're both grinning from ear to ear as they make their way toward us. He's the younger brother I crave to protect and the independent adult he's grown into. His curly mop of hair is styled on top and buzzed on the sides. Jules is wearing a striped navy blue-and-gray tank top paired with cargo shorts. His outfit matches perfectly with Cal's Hawaiian shirt.

Jules rushes into my open arms, giggling. "Dylan, you're here." I pull him in tighter. My brother and I have never been very affectionate, but he's grown so much since meeting Cal. I laugh along with Jules, but freeze as soon as I glimpse Noah standing there awkwardly.

Noah.

Fuck.

Even though I just saw him at the airport several hours ago, I can't help my body's reaction when I take in his appearance. The air whooshes out of my lungs and my heart thumps erratically. His tight, lean body is tempting, with his defined abs on display. What the hell is he wearing? And why can't I take my eyes off of him?

Noah stands there with his shoulders thrown back in confidence, eyes slightly narrowed with… suspicion?

Jules pulls away from my embrace. I avert my eyes away from Noah and glance at my brother. "Can we talk privately for a moment?"

"Of course. Is everything okay?" Jules checks the time on his phone. "We set sail in about ten minutes. Did you want to wait till after the party? We'll have more time then."

I shake my head. "No, this talk is long overdue." I don't want to chance prolonging the conversation or find a million excuses to delay. We shuffle over the edge of the gathering and find a spot against the railing that's a little further away from our crew. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Noah chatting with Ash and Cal.

"I want to start off by saying that I never intentionally kept this from you specifically. With my job as a public figure, the radio station owner made their views on sexuality clear."

Jules' eyes widen, but he doesn't say anything. He just reaches for my hand and leans forward. My lips twitch. I'm not entirely sure if Jules is trying to comfort me, or brace himself.

"The station didn't care about orientation or sexuality, as long as it didn't appear on the show or while I was out in public," I explain, taking a deep breath.

"What are you saying, Dylan? Are you gay?"

"Pan, actually."

"Wow. Okay. Pan." Jules nods. "Thank you for telling me. You know I would have been here for you, right? So would mom."

I nod back. "I know. I've recently been doing some soul searching and all I have is a million excuses and never any good ones."

"No, don't do that," Jules says, determination in his hazel eyes. "Your excuses are still your own, and still valid. We all have reasons for keeping things to ourselves. Even if it's just fear, that's okay. You're telling me now."

"Thank you, Jules. That means a lot. But there's more." This time I smile.

He purses his lips. "More?"

"Well, you did invite your bigger brother to a kinky Pride cruise."

"Oh, shit." Jules groans. "I don't want to hear this, do I?"

A laugh bubbles out of me. "Probably not. But I figured I should tell you just in case we run into each other. I don't exactly plan on being a monk amongst all my fellow kinksters, but you should know, I'm a Daddy."

Jules' shoulders relax. "Yeah. That makes a lot of sense, actually."

My head snaps back to his. "It does?"

"Sure, it makes sense," he repeats. "You've always been a caregiver. You already know I'm a fox and into pet play. Tell me, what kind of partner do you look for?"

"I've been in relationships with all types of submissive people. I just don't think I can do a twenty-four seven dynamic. But I love littles, pets, and boys. I prefer them to be closer to my age, or at least over the age of twenty-one. I've even been in a relationship with someone older than me. I'm very open."

Jules tilts his head and studies my face. Once he spots whatever he's looking for, he nods toward his group of friends. "How open?"

I follow his gaze. Like a magnet, my eyes are immediately drawn to Noah. He's laughing at something Ash says. Then it dawns on me that my brother is asking if I'm open to dating one of his friends. But I glance back and forth between Ash and Noah. Which friend is he hinting at?

Noah throws his head back, pure happiness on his face. Fuck, he is truly beautiful, and his laugh is contagious. I find myself smiling, and when I peek over at Jules, he's watching me. There's a small smile on his face as well, as if he knows exactly who caught my attention.

"Yeah," I reply. "I'm very open."

Noah looks over at us then.

"Mmhmm." Jules chuckles. "That's what I thought. Come on, Romeo. Let's head back over there." He tugs me toward the man that has me captivated. Jules slings an arm around Ash and whispers into his ear. Ash peers over at Noah, then back at me. Oh yeah, Jules knows exactly who I have my heart set on.

I step closer. Noah's pomegranate candy-scented lotion tempts me closer still. Noah arches a light brown brow my way. Damn, he even makes this look so damn sexy.

Suddenly, the ship's horn blares overhead and cheers surround us. The ship slowly starts to drift away from the port and the music gets louder.

Memories of Noah and I chatting together on our road trip flood my mind's eye, fast-forwarding and shuffling, before settling on that night a year ago, in the kink club. The moment Noah's gaze found me in a crowded room. How long have I been attracted to my little brother's best friend?

Noah's ocean-blue eyes dilate before dropping to my lips.

A jolt of lust zings through my body before settling in my groin. I'm in so much fucking trouble.