9. Chapter 9

nine

Will

T o say my kiss with Nathan was amazing would be an understatement. He made me forget where I was, getting lost in how his hand felt cupping my face. Nathan kissed the same way he seemed to do everything else: he was completely in control while making sure you felt cared for and were engaged the entire time.

When coworkers, Seals fans, and possibly even reporters and players started cheering for us, I was confused. Not because it wasn’t a cheer-worthy kiss, because it was. No, I didn’t understand why Nathan was standing there, staring at me like I hung the moon instead of running away.

We were in a very public place, and he was so unafraid to be seen. I wanted to be him and be with him in almost equal measure. I knew the feeling well, back before I understood my jealousy for what it was. I didn’t want to be Nathan, I wanted his confidence to live life so openly.

For a moment, I got to bask in it, and I wanted more.

My other confusion was why we weren’t somewhere he could do more than kiss me. Screw being him, I wanted to be under him.

Then reality hit me and I found the wherewithal to talk to Maury, who cleared the path for Nathan and I to leave early. I would have to go in at the ass-crack of dawn, but it was worth it. Nathan and I made plans for me to drop him off, with the possibility of talking over drinks after.

What I didn’t expect was a couple hard truths before we even left the stadium parking lot. Nathan knew I was a boy before he asked me out. On one hand, it was weird he didn’t say anything. But on the other hand…

Dating when you’re an older trans boy wasn’t ideal. The hurdle of wondering if Nathan was into kink, or the roles I enjoyed, had passed like an Olympic track star.

“I’m a Daddy,” Nathan had stated the fact so plainly.

It was understandable he didn’t want to say that kind of thing by text, or at the stadium where I worked and we were always within earshot of others. Nathan for sure wasn’t going to tell he was a Daddy the first time we met at his store. So really, he’d told me the second we were alone and in person.

What really had me spinning mentally was what he said about going out with me again “... I want to plan a date to show you can be a little no matter your age.”

His confession stupefied me, and before I knew it, we were in front of his place and he was saying goodnight. Granted, his apartment was only a ten minute drive from my work, but ten minutes was a long time to go catatonic on a date.

Somehow, I found the words to say I wanted that kind of date. I almost forgot to message Nathan when I got home, but I remembered right before I fell asleep in my clothes. When he wished me goodnight and hoped I was in cute jammies, my heart soared. Nathan cared if I slept in my jeans and pullover.

Could he really plan a date where I felt little in the way I craved? I didn’t know, but I was excited to find out.

A week later, I was making my way through the city on a cloudless November afternoon, and I was bouncing with anticipation.

After finding parking in the city, I smoothed a hand over my black and gold Seals hoodie and started walking down the street. Hopefully Nathan wouldn’t think it was lazy. Growing up, I always felt safest and most comfortable in the team’s gear. They were my refuge and I still gravitated towards them after working for the team as an adult. Nathan complimented my jersey when we first met, and he’d never given me any reason to think he was judgemental, so I had to go on instinct he would approve.

All I knew about our second date was that I would be meeting Nathan in Union Square where there was ice skating and cocoa across from the Brick & Mortar where he worked. It was a Sunday, and since the team had a game on Monday Night, I was off. Nathan was too, so I was confused why we were meeting up in front of his store.

Before I could start to look around and worry I’d been stood up, Nathan waved from across the street and jogged across to meet me. He had on blue jeans, a red knit sweater and matching beanie, completing his hipster look. I returned his smile and glanced towards the walk sign to see it hadn’t turned yet, so I waited. One of those autonomous cars that’s always driving around with a camera almost clipped him, but he hopped out of the way with grace I didn’t have and met me on the corner.

“Hi,” Nathan greeted me, breath coming out in a puff of air at his exertion. Offering his hand, I took it and let him lead me across the street. “I’m so glad you’re here.”

“Are you okay?” I asked, looking back up the street to see the supposedly smart car going on its merry way like it didn't almost take out a pedestrian. “I would have waited.”

“You shouldn’t have to wait,” Nathan declared and squeezed my hand as we turned towards Union Square. There was a giant tree, an ice skating rink, and “I have to admit, I’ve been wanting to touch you and kiss you again, all week.”

“You have?” I asked, stopping in the middle of the steps up to the square.

Nathan turned when I stopped, one step higher than me, and gave me another indulgent grin. He was a couple inches taller already, but this position made me feel smaller than him in the best way. Like he could pick me up and carry me off. Preferably to a bed…

“Yeah, sweetheart,” Nathan reached out a hand to caress my scruffy face and I felt myself leaning into his warm touch. “Can I kiss you before we get drinks?”

Nodding, I realized he was waiting for words. I had to clear my throat before I could get my words out, “Yeah, I mean, yes. Please?”

Much like with our first kiss, everything but Nathan’s touch disappeared. There were no tourists or elaborate holiday displays, only his hands and lips on me. Nathan pressed his mouth into mine, his beard much softer than mine, but still abrading my skin in the sexiest of ways. His tongue licked its way in between my lips, and I shivered at the contact with mine.

Clutching onto his shirt, I went along for the ride until Nathan pulled back. He gave me one last peck before I opened my eyes to see his pupils blown out, looking as lust drunk as I felt. All my fears went out the window seeing him so affected by kissing me.

“Even better than I remembered,” Nathan purred. “Cocoa?”

“Huh?” I replied, unsure if I missed some new term of endearment before realizing what he was asking. “Oh, sure.”

Nathan kept my hand in his as we made our way through the throngs of people there for the winter walk to a food stand. “Regular cocoa or a peppermint mocha?”

The cocoa came with marshmallows, but the mocha came with a candy cane and cost more. I could keep it simple and cheap or I could have fun. Biting my lip, I wasn’t sure what to ask for, and Nathan seemed to sense my unease.

“How about peppermint in your cocoa with the marshmallows and a candy cane?” Nathan suggested and I nodded in agreement. He turned back to the woman taking orders, “And I’ll get the mocha, please.”

“Sure, thing, Nathan,” she held out the card reader and he tapped his phone before I could offer to split in my surprise at her knowing my date’s name. Of course she knew him, Nathan probably got coffee from her before work all the time. “Those’ll be up in two minutes.”

“Thanks, Marta,” Nathan told her and led me to a side area overlooking the ice skaters. He pointed at me and wiggled his finger playfully, “You aren’t paying for anything. I asked you out and planned this date. You get to look hot and have fun.”

Scoffing, I felt my face heat as an unstoppable smile overtook my face. Nathan was exceptional at making me feel like the most important person in the room. Or the football-field size outdoor space.

We got our drinks and made conversation as we wandered around to see the displays and watch skaters. Most were kids constantly falling, but a few moved like professionals.

Nathan checked his watch as the sun started to set and I noticed we were in front of Brick and Mortar. “Mind if we pop in for a minute?”

“No problem,” I shrugged and let him lead me across the street. “Our first date was at my work, seems only fair the second date goes to yours.”

“Ha,” Nathan barked out a laugh and I almost missed my step ogling how hot he was. Head thrown back and eyes crinkling at the corners, I wasn’t sure I’d ever seen a sexier sight.

Nathan didn’t let my hand go when we got inside, even when an employee said hello to him, all the way up the escalator. The charity tree was even more covered with notes, but Tory and her mom weren’t there. Instead, there was a throne with Santa holding court.

Rather than leaving me for a few minutes like I expected, Nathan stopped us beside the ropes around Santa. I thought Nathan would excuse himself to go talk to someone or sign something, but he didn’t do either of those things.

Leaning closer to speak right into my ear, Nathan tells me the last thing I expected to hear, “Now you get to meet Santa and make a Christmas wish, sweetheart.”