Chapter 2

2

S he was awake, but she kept her eyes shut and feigned sleep. Her body was relaxed, and she kept her breathing deep and measured even though she couldn't hear anyone else in the room.

She was alone. Physically.

But she knew she wasn't unwatched.

From the moment she'd woken up in the hospital a week ago, she'd known they were watching her. A buzz at the back of her skull warned her she was being watched through some other means, but try as she might, she'd never been able to see their cameras.

They were there, though. She knew they were.

But that begged the question… who were they and why were they watching her?

And how the hell did she know they were?

She made a show of beginning to stir, stretching her limbs out and yawning as she burrowed into the softness of the pillows for a few minutes. One thing she had to say, since her "family" had collected her from the hospital, the bed she'd slept in was way more comfortable.

Opening her eyes, she yawned again as she looked around.

Her bedroom was still the same as it had been in her childhood. Soft lilac on the walls, a polished wooden floor with deep rugs that looked like clouds and frilly curtains framing the window. A picture-perfect bedroom for a girl who'd dreamed of being the fairy princess like in the books on the bookcase.

And she had never been here before in her life. She knew that as absolutely as she knew she needed to take her next breath.

Sitting up, she rubbed her eyes and took a deep breath as she rubbed at the center of her chest with the heel of her hand. The doctors had told her the pain there was just the aftermath of the flyer accident and the radiation she'd been dosed with after the engine shielding had cracked. They told her she was lucky to be alive, that it was a miracle she was here at all.

She agreed, but not for the reasons they were telling her. For the reasons they were holding back, which she didn't know yet… but she would find out.

Shoving the covers down, she swung her legs over the side of the bed, her feet hitting the cool floor. The hardwood felt familiar, which was strange, so she filed the information away. She crossed the room to the window, pulling back the curtain to let the morning light pour in. As golden rays filled the room, she looked out. The house was situated at the top of a rise, and she could see the town laid out below, beyond the high fences of the large garden. Perfectly placed as a defensive position.

She shook the odd thought away. Why would she think something like that?

"Elena! Breakfast is ready!" a woman's voice filtered through her door from further in the house. Her mother.

The trouble was, she didn't recognize either her own name or the woman who said she was her mother.

Even though she knew nothing about herself, she knew her name wasn't Elena Hargrove. And that Amanda Hargrove wasn't her mother.

Her name was Jesh, and she'd never met any of the people posing as her family before in her life.

"Coming!" she called back, forcing herself to sound normal. Grabbing a sweater, she pulled it on over her short pajamas and left the room.

Each step on the stairs creaked slightly under her weight, which seemed odd. The house was a fairly new construction and looked luxurious… so either some shoddy construction was going on, or she was a lot heavier than she looked.

Following the smell of bacon and coffee, she reached the kitchen, where Amanda was bustling around, an apron over her business suit. Amanda Hargrove was the CEO of several multibillion-credit tech companies, which explained how her elder daughter had been able to afford the experimental flyer she'd almost killed herself in.

"Morning, sweetheart." Amanda looked up and smiled. "I made your favorite—blueberry pancakes!"

Jesh sat at the table, her movements automatic.

"Thanks," she said, keeping her voice steady. She picked up her fork and took a bite. The pancakes were amazing, the taste exploding on her tongue.

But… no. She'd never tasted blueberry pancakes before.

"We're so happy you're back home," Amanda said, her eyes shining. "It was such a scare when the institute rescued you after the flyer accident. We were so lucky they had a research ship in the area. They did an incredible job treating your radiation sickness. You're our miracle."

Jesh nodded, forcing a smile as she shoveled more pancakes in. It didn't matter that she'd never had them before. They were good and she needed fuel.

"Yeah, I'm glad to be back," she lied smoothly, keeping her expression open and honest. She felt like an actress, concealing her real self behind layers of a character.

"I thought I'd come back early from the office so we could spend the afternoon together." Amanda chattered away, washing dishes as Jesh continued eating the pancakes and downed some coffee. The stimulant sent a buzz through her, and the strange feeling in the back of her head intensified. She cast a small surreptitious look around. Three cameras were in here, covering every angle of the room. If she just concentrated a little more…

She found them. One was above the window over the sink where Amanda washed the dishes, one was nestled among the shelves of the hutch near the table, and the other was somewhere behind her. She "felt" the shape of them, how… she had no idea, but she did. And she also knew that with one sharp push, she could fry them.

But… that would give away that she knew they were there, so she backed off. Let them watch for now. She needed more information before she made her move.

Finishing the pancakes, she pushed her plate away. It was immediately collected by Amanda, who looked at the empty surface with satisfaction.

"I'm going to take a shower. I feel… cruddy after sleeping so long."

They'd apparently kept her in a coma for two weeks as her body healed, but she felt like she'd been in bed for years.

"Of course, darling. Just relax and take it easy today," Amanda said, her voice full of warmth. "Your sister is around if you need anything."

Jesh nodded over her shoulder and then made her way through the hallway back to the stairs. She cast glances at the photographs that lined the walls and slowed her steps. She was in most of them, her own image staring back at her. It was like looking at a different person with a different life. The most recent were pictures of her in high-speed flyer gear, a beaming smile on her face as she held trophies and medals… charting a career she couldn't remember living.

But the childhood photos were the worst. She saw herself growing up, from a chubby-cheeked toddler to an awkward teenager, each stage carefully documented and displayed like a specimen under a microscope.

She stopped in front of a photograph where she held a trophy, her smile wide and happy. It was her face, her eyes… yet, no… that wasn't her at all. She reached up to brush gentle fingers over the glass, and a shiver ran down her spine. It was like looking at an imposter.

"Pretty cool, huh?" a voice broke her thoughts. Jesh turned to find her sister Penny leaning in the doorway to the family room.

"Yeah, it's just… weird looking back at all this," Jesh mumbled.

Penny stepped closer, a full head shorter than Jesh as she looked up at the wall of images. She was in a lot of them as well, but not as many as Jesh, almost as if she were just a minor character in the story of Jesh's life.

"You'll get used to it. They said the memory loss might make things seem off for a while, but you're home now. Things will start feeling right again."

"Yeah, I'm sure they will." She nodded, but something in Penny's manner made the hairs on the back of her neck stand up. There were no cameras in here. Had they sent Penny in to see what she was doing?

"I'm gonna take a shower. Catch you later," she said and headed up the stairs.

Energy flowed through her as she took them two at a time. She felt better than she had since she'd first woken up in that hospital bed days ago. The first few days she'd felt like she'd had to get used to her body again, but now she felt like she could leap tall buildings in one bound.

Walking through the lilac confection that was her room, she headed to the bathroom, closing the door behind her and leaning against it briefly, trying to catch her breath.

Cameras… were there cameras in here? She leaned against the back of the door for a moment and extended her senses.

Yes… these were more subtle, just a faint buzz at the back of her mind, but one was above her head and one by the window. Shit, did these people even want to perv on her in the damn shower?

Pushing off the door, she snapped the shower on, leaving the stall door open so steam billowed out and filled the room. She grinned as she stepped under the hot water. They thought they could spy on her, did they?

The hot stream pounded against her skin, thousands of tiny needles. She closed her eyes and groaned softly, feeling the hot water massage her sore muscles. Of everything she was being told, the idea that she'd been in a flyer crash was the most plausible. She certainly felt like she'd played chicken with a shuttle… and lost.

She stayed under the water until her skin started to prune, and she sighed. Okay, she couldn't stay in here forever. Turning off the water, she stepped from the stall. As she reached for the towel, she caught sight of herself in the mirror and froze. Straightening up, she wiped the glass clear and studied her reflection.

Yeah, she'd definitely been in an accident.

Slowly, she traced her fingers over the myriad of scars crisscrossing her body. Injuries from the crash followed by weeks of extensive treatment for the radiation exposure. So why did some of them look like bullet wounds?

She squinted at her reflection, wishing she could just reach inside her mind and pull out the truth. Bits of information teased her, flitting just out of grasp. She knew deep down in her soul that her name was Jesh, and this life of Elena Hargrove was a lie. But why? Why was she here in this picture-perfect construct of a life? Why were they lying to her?

What did they want from her?

Her fingers traced a jagged scar on her forearm. It was older than the rest, flat and silver, and a fragment of memory flittered to the front of her mind. Of her yanking her arm back, shouting at someone as she pulled the armor off her arm to treat the wound… the whiteness of bone and something else as she?—

The memory disappeared and she hissed, closing her eyes as she fought the urge to chase it. She'd learned not to. If she pushed it, the memory would disappear for good. If she just let it wash over her, it might come back later, and she could get more details from it.

Wrapping herself in a towel, she left the bathroom and went back to her room. For now, she had no choice but to play the part these people wanted her to play. She would find the truth, even if it meant tearing apart everything and everyone around her to uncover it.

After she'd dressed quickly, the small journal on the desk caught her eye. One of the counselors helping with her recovery had suggested that journaling might help her recover her memory.

She wrinkled her nose as she picked it up and rifled through the pages, their blankness mocking her. How would writing help? She couldn't remember the accident or anything before waking up in that white-on-white hospital room.

Her fingertips stroked over the cover, the smooth texture oddly pleasing to her. She didn't want to give her family anything to go on, but she needed to do something.

Picking up the pen, she balanced its metal weight between her fingers. It was solid and one piece, which meant it would make a good weapon in a pinch.

Shaking her head at her own thoughts, she sat at the desk and turned to the first page. Then she frowned. What did she write?

Took a shower this morning. Energy levels are good…

Her pen paused and she sighed. Was that it? Was that all she could think to say?

"This is stupid," she muttered but didn't move, still staring at the page. The counselor had said to start with normal, ordinary things about her day. She leaned forward and continued.

Family are being nice. Helpful. Mom… That felt weird to write… made pancakes.

Frustration rolled through her. This was just bland drivel. Perhaps she should describe the pattern on the curtains or the wallpaper. They would read this, she realized, so writing about the cameras was out, as was the fact she knew she was being lied to.

The pen paused over the paper, and all she could think about was the scar on her forearm. The fingers of her free hand traced over it absently, feeling the familiar groove where a chunk of flesh had been gouged out and then healed. That at least felt real, something she could rely on as true.

Her vision blurred, and the pen felt heavy in her hand. The room around her faded until she was no longer sitting at her desk…

Gunfire roared in her ears, almost deafening her. The burning stench of smoke and something metallic filled her nose and mouth, and she fought back the need to gag. She was crouched behind a low wall, shouting orders.

"Get him stabilized! We need to move now!"

Her hands moved with a precision that spoke of long experience, working on a soldier with a leg wound even as she barked orders to others around her. Lazer bolts filled the air around her, the snap and crack making her duck every so often.

Someone was next to her, their face obscured by a helmet. They shouted something, but she couldn't hear over the din of battle. Then they were helping her, the two of them working as one unit to stabilize the soldier and get him ready for transport.

Then, between one heartbeat and the next, she was back in her room. Sat at her desk. Her heart pounded in her chest as if she'd just run miles under heavy fire, the pen gripped so tightly in her hand that she was surprised she hadn't bent it as she looked down at the page in front of her.

Written across the page in neat script was a sequence of letters and numbers, each of them biting so deep into the paper that they almost tore through it.

J10-10M3E.

Over and over. Written so precisely they looked identical, like they'd been printed out.

Had she written this? She frowned as she brushed her fingertip over the ink. It smudged, so she must have. Confusion filled her as she traced the symbols. What did it mean? It meant something to her, obviously. She'd written it over and over again.

"What are you?" she murmured softly as she searched for some kind of sense in the message. "A clue? Some kind of code?"

The numbers, the letters—they had to mean something, but she couldn't think of what the sequence could be. J10 could be a date, maybe June 10? But that didn't make sense with the rest of the message.

Could the second part be coordinates, maybe?

A sound outside her door brought her head up sharply. Whatever it meant, she couldn't let her family know about it. Tearing the page free from the journal, she folded it and slid it into her pocket. She knew her mom… Amanda had been in here earlier… she couldn't leave this lying around for her to find.

This was her secret… and it could be a lifeline to finding out the truth about herself.

Sitting back in her chair, she closed her eyes again and tried to focus on the memory that had surfaced earlier. The battlefield, the gunfire, the wounded soldier… There had to be a connection somewhere. Something she was missing.

She almost jumped out of her skin when her comm unit buzzed on the nightstand. Levering herself from the desk chair, she headed over and picked it up. She saw a message from Penny.

Are you okay?

Jesh stared at the screen. Shit. Did Penny know she'd just phased out? Her fingers hovered over the keys rather than answer. Penny seemed much more approachable than Amanda. She might not think Jesh crazy in the head if she tried to explain what was going on… but then, maybe that was the point? Maybe Penny was there for her to confide in.

I'm fine. Why wouldn't I be?

Penny's response was swift, the three dots flashing on the screen as she typed. Bit touchy, aren't you, crash girl? Come downstairs? Mom says I have to watch out for you and I wanna watch a movie. It's the one you were waiting to see.

Jesh hesitated. She had no idea what movie Penny was on about. She couldn't actually remember ever seeing one, but that wasn't surprising since her memory only extended back a week, and most of that had been in a hospital.

She tapped out a reply: Sure. Be down in a minute.

Steeling herself with a few deep breaths, she opened her door and made her way downstairs. She had to act normal and get along with her family… at least until she could figure out what was going on and get the hell out of here.

She walked into the living room to Penny already in place on the huge couch, blankets and pillows around her, holding a huge tub of popcorn.

She grinned as she saw Jesh.

"Thought we could watch this one," she said, triggering the entertainment unit to play the film. A flashy title sequence began. Jesh shot it a glance as she crossed the room. It looked like some kind of action film.

"It has that blond guy in it you like," Penny added, her barfing motions proving that she didn't share Jesh's apparent attraction to the actor.

She managed a smile from somewhere. Penny acted just like the young teenager she appeared to be, which made her feel like shit for doubting her. Surely no one would go to such lengths to fool her?

"Sounds good," she said as she dropped into the seat next to Penny and reached for the popcorn. As the film started, she tried to force herself to relax. She needed more pieces to the puzzle, more clues to figure out who she was and why she was here… or whether she was, in fact, going mad.