19. Chapter Nineteen

Chapter Nineteen

“Dad?”

“Jake!” I shouted, rushing out of the kitchen where I’d been pacing for hours, desperate for news. “Did you find him? Is he ok? Where is he? What did he say? Oh God, he hates me, right?”

“Calm your tits, Dad. Let’s go sit down and I’ll tell you.” He closes the front door and strides past me like my life isn’t in ruins, crumbling around me with every step.

“But is he all right? At least tell me that.” I enter the living room behind Jake, but I still can’t settle. My anxiety levels are too high, and I just end up pacing around some more, almost ready to wear a hole in the carpet.

“Yeah, Dad, he’s fine. Or he’s doing as well as he can, considering he’s living on takeout and tears.”

I pause my nervous pacing to look at Jake, who sits calmly on the sofa. “What does that mean? Is he hurt? Please, Jake. Give me something, anything,” I all but beg.

Jake scrutinises me from head to toe, with his brow furrowed in thought. “I didn’t realise it was this bad. You’re in the same rough shape as Tristan.”

You’d feel crushed too, right? The one person who sees through your defences, the one guy who gets you, just leaves. “No… I’m just… a little worried, that’s all. It’s impossible not to worry when someone leaves without saying goodbye, doesn’t leave a note, and then won’t even answer my calls. You’d be freaking out too,” I murmur.

My son’s eyebrows shoot up as he watches me pace again, a look of confusion on his face. “I’ve never seen you act like this, Dad. It’s strange.”

“Like what?”

“Worried. No—frantic. Manic, even. I never thought I’d see the day that my dad would fall in love.”

Fuck, is that it? My stomach drops. It’s too soon to love Tris, but I know that what I’m feeling is very close to it. Stopping in front of my coffee table, I can’t take it anymore. I’m overwhelmed. My heart starts racing frantically and I feel sweaty. My hands are shaking. What have I done? What the fuck have I done? The image of a crying Tris, alone in his flat, cold and in a takeout-induced coma, flashes before my eyes. I need to fix this. I need Tris back. I need him to know that those days in the cabin weren’t just a fleeting thing to me. That those days were as real as anything has ever felt in my life. Feeling lightheaded, I crouch down, balancing on the balls of my feet, my head dipped low as I try to catch my breath.

“Dad.” Jake is by my side in a second, his hand on my shoulder grounding me. “Breathe, Dad. It’s okay, I’m here.”

“I want him back, Jake,” I choke out. Looking up at my son, I croak, “I need him back.”

Jake gives me a sad smile. “Let me help you, then. Let’s get you on the sofa.” He’s worried. I can hear it in his voice. I shouldn’t have panicked, calling him to ask about Tris and informing him I’d not heard from him in days. But I was at my wit’s end, not knowing if he was okay. I don’t know where he lives, though. If I did, I’d have gone and broken his door down just to make sure he was all right.

I let Jake pull me up, and we walk to the couch, where I slump down, running my hands through my greasy hair. Showering has not been a top priority over the last few days. I’ve been wallowing. Miserable. Sad. All the things I’ve never felt before for anyone other than Jake, invading my body and mind. Every conscious thought has been about Tris.

“Please, Jake, is Tris okay?” I whisper. He takes pity on my pathetic self, squeezing my shoulder as he sits next to me. “Yeah, Dad, he’s okay. He’s sad and stinks to high hell. But he’s okay.”

“Why did he not answer his phone? Why did he leave?” Shit, I can feel the tears well in my eyes. How did I become this pathetic guy who thought he could stroll through life one hookup at a time? No care for myself or others, really. All those guys who wanted more with me, I rebuffed, thinking they were just trying to tie me down. But all they really wanted was exactly what I wanted right now. Someone to love and spend my life with. God, I was such a dick. Maybe this is my karma. The universe gave me Tris, then promptly ripped him from me as punishment. And fuck, does it hurt.

“I’m not sure it’s my place to fill in all the details.”

Sitting up, I grab Jake’s hand. “Please. I need your help. I need to fix this.”

Sighing, he looks right at me, almost like he’s trying to find out if I’m being sincere. I can’t blame him, though, because he’s grown up knowing I never wanted a partner or any kind of commitment, so why would I want it now? Why would I want his best friend?

“You really like him?” It’s a statement, not a question.

“Yeah,” I huff. “I really do.” I smile at him and hope he can see I’m telling him the truth.

“Shit, Dad. I didn’t see this coming; I told Tris the same. I should’ve seen the signs, I guess. The way you two acted on the call. I guess I was so wrapped up in my bubble that I didn’t see yours.”

“I didn’t mean for this to happen, it just did. I mean, I’ll admit I’ve been attracted to Tris since your birthday, but going to help him at the cabin was all I planned on doing. Then the snow started, and Tristan... well, let me tell you, he knows his own mind and isn’t afraid to share it.” I chuckle. “We had such a great time together. I dunno where I went wrong.”

Jake laughs, “Tris is definitely a firecracker when he wants something. But you didn’t do anything wrong. He’s had it rough over the years and likes to protect himself. He thought you were going to end your little arrangement and tried to save himself the heartache by leaving. Not that it helped him because he’s a mess.”

“God, he’s a pain in my arse. If he’d have just stayed, I was gonna tell him I wanted to see where things could go between us.” I let go of Jake’s hand and lie back on the sofa, rubbing my eyes. “What do I do, Jake?” I’m so desperate that I’m asking my son for relationship advice. It would be laughable, but I genuinely need his help.

“Tristan needs proof, Dad. Validation he’s worth it, and that you want him wholeheartedly. And I also need to know this is not just going to be some fling. Because Tris is my friend and if you plan on dropping him like a hotcake as soon as you get bored or decide a relationship is not for you anyway, then I beg you to just let him go.” Jake’s facial expression tells me he’s dead serious; if I don’t man up and give Tris what he needs, he’s off-limits.

Sitting up, I face Jake. “I promise you this is not a fling, at least not for me. I really do want to see where this can go with him. If I can convince him to take a chance on a middle-aged schoolteacher. Any ideas on how I do that?” I need a grand gesture, something to show him I mean business. Jake ponders for a minute. If anyone knows how to help me woo Tris, it’s Jake.

“Well... New Year’s Eve is in a few days and the shelter he works at is having a party. It starts at five, and Tris wouldn’t miss it for the world. Maybe you could turn up, see if he’ll talk to you?” He shrugs. “Me and Lewis are stopping by. We’re donating some sleeping bags.”

My son is a good soul. He’s going to make a brilliant doctor one day soon and I couldn’t be prouder of him. “That’s perfect, son. Do you think they’ll mind if I turn up?”

“Nah. It’s open to the public, too. Not that many people attend the party, but they do donate to the shelter.”

Seeing Tris in his work environment—the place he loves so much—would be great. A plan is starting to form in my mind. I’ve got a few days to pull this off, so I need to get myself together. Tristan Hayes will be mine again... I hope. At the very least, I’m determined to give it my very best shot.

“That’s sad, but at least the shelter gets some much-needed supplies.”

Jake agrees. “Well, I’ll leave you to your planning. I’m off to meet Lewis for an early dinner. You’re welcome to join us?” He gets up and walks to the door.

“No thanks, you guys enjoy your meal. I have a few things to sort out.”

“Yeah, make sure a shower is one of them!” Jake teases. “Oh, and Dad?” Jake turns to me, looking serious again. “Good luck, and please take care of Tris. Treat his heart as if it’s your own.” With a pat on my shoulder, he turns and leaves. I lean on the closed door. “I’ll do my best, son. I’ll do my best.”