Chapter 14: Colt

I don’t fall asleep, but then I knew I wouldn’t. I just lay there, Austin in my arms, wondering if this is real. If what happened tonight, twice, was real. But if this was a dream there is no way I would’ve made it this cold. So, yeah, this is real. Wonderfully real.

“Sweetheart,” I whisper in his ear, a nickname that I never intended to call him, but the word had slipped out of my mouth. My grandpa used to call my grandma sweetheart; I always remember the smile it brought to her face. I never imagined that, one day, I would use it and get the same reaction.

“Hmmm,” Austin mumbles.

“Your alarm is about to go off. Time to get up.”

“No, stay comfy.” And he snuggles in close to me and I can’t help but chuckle.

“Animals, ranch. Remember?” And I place a kiss on the back of his head, just because I can now. “How about I stay tonight?”

“Yeah,” Austin’s sleepy voice sounds.

“I’m going to start on breakfast.”

Detangling myself from Austin’s grasp, I get up off the floor, find my sweatpants and hoodie, and quickly pull them on. I’m tempted to stoke the fire again, but there really is no point with us having to leave soon.

Once in the kitchen, I busy myself with lighting some candles and placing them on the kitchen table, and by the stove, before I start making some oatmeal and coffee. Both are warming, to keep us going while working in the cold. It’s going to be a long day, but looking out of the window, I can see that the snow has at least stopped falling. The forecast had said that it could brighten up today. Which means that we should be able to clear some paths around the ranch.

“I don’t think I’m ever going to get used to getting up at this time of the morning,” Austin says as he walks into the kitchen with a blanket wrapped around him, and he goes over to the table and sits down.

“Austin,” laughing at him, “you could have gotten dressed.”

“No. Blankets are warm. Clothes are cold.”

“If you stay, you are going to have to get used to cold winters. Putting on cold clothes.”

“Colt, baby, I’m staying,” Austin replies.

I don’t think Austin realizes what he said, and I want to ask him about it, but I don’t. Our relationship has changed so much in twenty-four hours. Part of me loves it and another part is completely scared shitless.

“I need to finish wrapping these presents, once it’s daylight again.”

“Why? The festival is canceled. We’re snowed in. No one can get to us. There really is no point.” I love the fact that he still wants the festival to go ahead.

“Colt, I still have hope that somehow it’s going to happen.”

“How? Do you think we’re going to have some kind of unseasonal heatwave that will melt the snow?”

“I don’t know, but I have hope. Okay? It’s just something to cling onto,” Austin replies, giving me a smile, and it’s the cutest thing.

“Right, breakfast is ready. Eat up, we need to get going,” I tell him, as I place a bowl and cup in front of him.

Going back over to the stove, I pick up my own breakfast and join Austin. We don’t talk, but it’s nice, and it also feels rather domestic.

With breakfast over, we both brave going upstairs, to get dressed and tough it out, in the snow outside. Between the two of us, we manage to clear a path over to the cattle shed.

“Do you think you can get over to the chickens by yourself?” I ask Austin.

The snow hasn’t drifted too much over here, and he should be able to walk over there without too much effort.

“Yeah,” Austin states, but there is a hesitation in his voice.

“The chickens will be fine. We shouldn’t have any more dead ones. But I can come over with you. Hold your hand if you want.”

“No. I need to be a grown up. As you said, this is ranch life now.”

I don’t think he believes what he’s saying, but I do love the fact that he’s trying.

“Okay. Well, you know where I am. Meet me back here in an hour and we can make our way over to the stables.”

“Okay,” Austin replies, as he takes a step towards me and kisses me, briefly, before walking away.

Well, that’s new. Is this something that we’re going to do now? Kiss like that? It’s strange and nice all at the same time. Does this mean that we’re a couple? Are we in a relationship? That kiss makes me feel like we are, and I can’t help but smile as I turn and head into the cattle shed.

An hour later I’m outside the cattle shed, waiting for Austin to join me. Pulling out my cell, I open my weather app and check the forecast. Looks like the storm has passed and there isn’t any more snow due. Hopefully, that means in a few days everything will have thawed enough that the roads will be clear, and we can get into town.

“Hey,” Austin’s voice sounds, as he comes over and kisses me. Yes, I can definitely get used to these partings and greetings.

“Everything okay with the chickens?”

“Yeah. Thankfully, no dead chickens, and I managed to collect some eggs.” Austin holds up a basket that is kept in the chicken coop, with what I can only describe as a very satisfied smile on his face.

“Nice. I can make some scrambled eggs for lunch if you’d like, or we can keep them for breakfast tomorrow.”

“We’re having lunch together? We don’t normally.”

“Last time I checked, my pipes were frozen. Actually, I will need to go check the house.” But I’m hoping that the pipes are still frozen, so I have an excuse to stay with Austin again tonight. Not that I need an excuse.

“And we need to try and clear the snow up to the barn.”

“Okay,” I say with a chuckle. I can’t deny him this little seed of hope that he has, even if I know that it’s useless, “Let’s get to the stable. Check on the horses. Then after lunch we can look at clearing outside the barn before it gets dark.”

“Sounds good. Have you checked the forecast? Is there a chance that we might get more snow tonight?”

“No, it’s all clear. Temperature is set to drop again, which means we will need to build the fire up in the living room again and stay downstairs.”

“Good.”

“Good. Why is that good?”

“Oh, nothing.” But Austin pauses for a second, before adding, “I’m just glad that there’s no more snow coming,” Austin replies, but I think there was more behind that statement, but I don’t want to push it.

“Come on. Let’s get to the stables.” And as I reach Austin, he holds out his hand and I just stare at it. Does he want me to take hold of it, or shake it?

“Colt, baby, take my hand,” Austin says.

“Baby,” I say over to him. “That’s the second time that you’ve called me that.”

“Well, you call me sweetheart.”

There is no arguing with that statement, and so I just smile and take hold of his hand, and we head over to the stables, but as it turns out, me holding onto Austin’s hand was a good thing. He managed to find every patch of ice, and I kept having to almost catch him to stop him from falling over.

“Was me holding your hand all a ploy to make sure you didn’t fall over?” I ask, as I push open the door to the stable.

“It was my attempt at being the cute boyfriend. You being able to stop me from falling over was an added bonus.”

“Boyfriend.” The word caught me completely off guard.

“Yeah,” Austin replies. “That’s what we are, aren’t we?”

I have no idea what to say, because, for me, boyfriend isn’t the right word for us. Back when we were young and na?ve, maybe, but not now. Not after everything we have been through to get to where we are now.

“No,” I state and see Austin’s face fall, and I know I should correct him, but I have just spotted which stall he’s standing in front of, and decide to tease him a little.

“Oh, sorry,” Austin states.

“I think I like boys,” I start. “Well, I think I like you.”

Austin stares at me, confused at my words, but I see the moment when he remembers me saying almost these exact words.

“Boys,” he responds, but then adds with a slight smile, “why do you think you like me?”

“Because.” And I take a step towards him. “You’re tall, lean, and you have this smile that makes me go weak at the knees.” These are words that I’d wanted to say to him when I first came out.

Then, just like all those years ago, and right on cue, Austin locks lips with me. His tongue licks the seam of my lips and I readily open for him. He deepens the kiss, our tongues twisting and dancing around each other.

“That help?” Austin asks, as he breaks the kiss and takes a step back, smiling at me.

“You’re fucking kidding. That was epic. I definitely like you.”

The pair of us burst out laughing. We both remembered that day. Remembered those words.

“Austin, we aren’t boyfriends,” I finally say. “I’m not sure what we are really, but we are something more, something special.”

“I can live with that,” Austin replies, giving me another quick kiss. “Now, let’s clean out the stable.”

“How romantic.” I chuckle, but for us, this is our romance.

During the afternoon, we had cleared the snow around the barn, and on Austin’s instructions, made sure that the Christmas trees and the wreaths were clear of all snow, but Austin vanished just after we had finished the last check of the animals for the night.

I had told Austin to head back to the ranch, and that I would meet him there, after I had checked my house. The pipes were still frozen, which I hadn’t been too disappointed with, but when I got to the ranch house, Austin was nowhere to be seen. There was a candle burning in the kitchen, so I knew that he had been there.

“Colt.” Austin’s voice sounds behind me, turning around, I see him standing in the kitchen doorway.

“Where have you been?”

“Come with me and I will show you, but first,” Austin walks over, and I see a scarf in his hands. “I need to blindfold you.”

“Why?”

“Because it’s a surprise.”

“Austin, I don’t like surprises,” I say over to him, but I still crouch down so that he can cover my eyes.

“Trust me. You will like this.” And I feel him as he places a kiss on my cheek and takes hold of my hand.

Leading me out of the kitchen, I try to figure out where we’re going, and I think he’s leading me in the direction of the barn. Is that why we had to shovel all the snow out of the way this afternoon? For this, whatever this is?

“Wait here,” Austin whispers and lets go of my hand.

I try to listen to what he’s doing. Try and figure out the surprise, but all I can hear is him walking about, until, finally, he’s back beside me.

“Ready?” Austin asks, and as I nod my head, he says, “surprise,” and takes off my blindfold, and I am lost for words.

We are standing in front of the barn, but the Christmas trees and wreath are all lit up. Shining and twinkling against the red of the barn. And they look gorgeous.

“Austin,” I managed to get out, because I’m not sure I can find any other words.

“They’re battery powered,” Austin explains. “I got the idea when you mentioned that the trees were missing something. The wreath came with lights, I just didn’t tell you.”

“How? When?” Not sure how he has been able to do this.

“I ordered the lights online, and I have been fitting them in the evening. When it’s been dark. Needed to make sure that I didn’t have a gap.” He pauses. “Do you like it?”

“Do I like it? Are you crazy?” I look over to the trees before turning back to Austin. “I love it.”

“Good,” Austin replies, and the smile that appears on his face is breathtaking.

“I love you.” The words fall from my lips and hang in the air between us.