20. CHAPTER 20

CHAPTER 20

DANIELLA

I’d taken in the sharper quality of his cheekbones and jaw, and the way his dark blue eyes seemed to glow from within, and I’d known Wölfe had taken over.

But the truth was, I was beyond caring and attempting to make a distinction between Kalyll and Wölfe. That was what had driven me to climb on his lap and throw my arms around his neck in an attempt to make him feel better.

“The last time we were together, you hadn’t nearly died, and I hadn’t nearly given up.”

He’d thought everything lost, and the idea of his utter despair chiseled my heart in two. Then, of course, he’d grown paranoid, the way he always did. For all his bravado, he surely was insecure. Though there was nothing uncertain about him when he swept me off my feet, laid me down on the moss-covered ground, and pressed his body to mine.

The same part of me that had called him a bastard wanted to fight and tell him to stop, but there really was no point. I was done beating myself up about who I loved.

Kalyll… Wölfe… it didn’t make any difference.

When he fucked me, I liked it both tender and rough, and I knew what I was about to get right now. And it was exactly what I needed. Any other way, and I would cry. In the last few days, I’d also thought I lost him, thought I would never see him again. In that, we suffered equally.

So I didn’t want his tender kisses and caresses. I didn’t want whispered words of comfort in my ears. I wanted him to pound me, to fill all the hollows that pain had left behind with his rough growls and dirty talk.

“Open for me, melynthi,” he purred as he kissed his way along my thigh and hiked my dress to my waist.

I obliged, even as he pushed my knees apart, spreading me to an aching point. As he reached the hem of my panties, he pulled away, and in the next instant, I felt them snap, the rake of his claws up my belly letting me know he’d cut my underwear open.

With no regard for subtleties, he made a hungry sound and descended on me, his lips circling that aching nob at my peak, his tongue flicking it with force.

He sucked and licked, then slipped a finger into me, making me gasp as he pumped in and out. The finger curled and rubbed that raw spot inside me every time it came back in. His tongue and finger worked in unison. His free hand slipped under my butt, and he lifted me a bit higher for better access.

The sounds in the back of his throat would leave no doubt to anyone that he was feasting, enjoying something utterly delicious.

His rhythm was intense, making me feel the world was ending in the best way possible. He took my clit into his mouth and sucked harder. Pure ecstasy flowed through my veins like lava. My fingers dug into the dirt as pressure built inside me. I teetered at the edge of a precipice wanting more of this, but also wanting to jump and soar.

As if sensing where I stood, Wölfe slipped a second finger in and thrust harder. I plummeted. The moan that escaped me was release and want all at once. All my built-up tension was released, and I screamed as waves of pleasure washed over me. I writhed under him, surge after surge assaulting my body and leaving me completely at his mercy.

As I climaxed, his hands slid up and down my body. They cupped my breasts and pinched my peaked nipples, they caressed my spasming belly and graced my mound, making me aware of every ecstatic corner of my body and intensifying my pleasure, wringing out all I had to give.

When I was almost spent, he placed both hands on my hips and turned me over. Pulling me to my knees, he sheathed himself and unapologetically started pounding in and out. With each thrust, he reached deep, bringing tears of pleasure to my eyes.

He moaned and growled with abandon, his girth and length filling me to burst, reaching untouched places and pushing me to the edge once more.

Wölfe’s skin slapped against mine, and his fingers dug possessively into my flesh. He thrust violently and recklessly, eliciting cries of delicious pain and rapture from me. We both came at the same time, our cries of release sending a flock of birds flying off the branches above.

Spent, we collapsed to the ground, Wölfe’s weight resting reassuringly on top of me.

We slept like two abandoned kittens, curled up against each other, heads pillowed on the soft moss. At some point, the morning light peeking through the trees and the soft chirping of birds woke me up.

Kalyll—I knew it was him because his features weren’t as sharp as Wölfe’s—was already awake. His deep ocean eyes regarded me with an intensity that made my heart squeeze as if to take hold of this moment to never let it go.

I wanted to always remember this expression, this unshakable certainty of his love for me.

He licked his lips and said, “I can still taste you.”

I felt a blush climb up my neck and bloom on my cheeks. I was beyond caring whom I loved, but was he? He had said so once, but it was at a time when he’d seemed better able to control his wilder side.

“I do believe it is my turn,” he said, slowly climbing on top of me.

Well, it seemed that answered my question. He didn’t care.

And what a lucky girl I was to have two adoring males ready to satisfy my every need and mix things up to keep it interesting.

I succumbed to his kisses and caresses and the tender and attentive way of his love making. While Wölfe possessed me, Kalyll worshiped me, every inch of my body an altar for his devotion and undivided attention.

Kalyll held the transfer token in the palm of his hand and regarded it with sadness.

“I almost killed Cardian,” I blurted out, for the first time experiencing the guilt I should’ve been feeling all along. “But I think he’s fine.”

I didn’t want to kill his brother. I had siblings, and I couldn’t imagine a situation where Kalyll killing one of them would ever be all right, even if they became as evil as Cardian. I could only be glad Runik had attacked just in time to prevent me from draining Cardian completely.

Kalyll’s azure eyes met mine as shame burned on my face.

“Do not feel bad, Daniella,” he said, reading my emotions without fault. “I know of your realm’s commandment of an eye for an eye, and I would not fault you for applying it. His pet thunderlord nearly killed you on Cardian’s orders.”

I shook my head. “It’s not like that. He—”

“… was trying to kill you.” He finished for me. “That would also justify your actions. In fact, I wouldn’t blame anyone for outright killing him based on the fear of who he might become, and what he’d be willing to do to get there. Cardian was always… different, troubled somehow. He is twelve years younger than me and was always treated differently. Mother and Father placed no expectations on him. None. Up until recently, I thought they’d only managed to turn him into a careless, spoiled brat. But now I know the damage runs much deeper.”

He paused to consider as if he were trying to puzzle something out. I could almost hear him thinking and had to fight the urge to smooth the crease between his eyebrows with my finger.

“Cardian grew up to resent us, to hate us even. In sparing him the rigors of a strict upbringing, they failed to teach him an appreciation for his privileged situation, and he now operates under the misconception that he’s entitled to more, despite the fact that he already has more than he deserves.”

And wasn’t that the mistake of all parents who wished to spare their children every difficulty and who gave exaggerated praise for the slightest accomplishment? They thought they were doing their kids a favor when they were only setting them up for mediocrity.

I lay my hand on his. “He’s still your brother, and I know his death would bring you no satisfaction.”

“I’m not so sure.”

“You can’t mean that.”

“A lifetime of imprisonment might be worse.”

“Perhaps there’s another option.”

He searched my face, seeming at a loss.

“Exile?” I asked. “Is that possible?”

“It might be too dangerous to allow him to go free. But we may be wasting our time with this conversation. He is the king now. The rightful one. Perhaps it is I who should be exiled.”

There was a strange longing in his expression, as if the idea of being exempt from the duties he was raised to shoulder was highly tempting. But I knew the temptation of a much simpler life would never be enough to pull him away from his responsibilities. He was not a quitter.

“Perhaps,” I said, “but Elf-hame needs you, and I know you won’t abandon it.”

He sighed. “I often feel that I’ve… ruined your life.”

“What? Are you serious?”

“I am. Before I so rudely intruded, you had a calm, safe existence. But ever since, you’ve been tied up, terrorized by a decayana, turned into something you’re not.” He waved a hand in front of me to demonstrate my Fae features. “You’ve been nearly killed. Twice. I have brought you nothing but distress.”

“That is not true.”

He frowned.

“If I’m being honest, my life was pretty boring before coming here. I mean… I loved my job. I found satisfaction in giving sick children a second chance, but now that I have you, I understand that something crucial was missing. You’ve given me the most important thing of all. Love. I love you, and I would give everything up to be with you.”

His expression fell, which was the exact opposite of what I intended. “I don’t want you to give up anything for me. It’s wrong. It should be me. I should leave with you, go to your realm, start a new life. Just the two of us.”

“That sounds wonderful. I’m not going to lie. I think we could be happy if we did that, at least for some time.”

“Forever.”

“No, Kalyll. Not forever. If you fail your people, things would sour eventually. You would have many regrets.”

“But what about you?” he asked. “Won’t the same thing happen to you? Won’t your life with me turn sour when my love becomes quotidian?”

“Wow, chill it with the fancy words, King Adanorin.”

He smirked. “It means something that occurs daily.”

I swatted his arm. “I know what it means, and to answer your question… no, things won’t turn quotidian. There is a huge difference between me giving up my calm, safe life, and you giving up yours. When this is all said and done, I can go back to healing, to helping people who need me. But if you walk away now, there’s no going back for you.”

“But what if we don’t make it?” he demanded, a blue glow flashing across his eyes, a clear sign that Wölfe was trying to push forward.

Kalyll fought back and got himself under control, for which I was grateful. His thoughts of leaving Elf-hame to live a quiet life with me were real enough. They stemmed from the side of him that cared nothing about duty. They stemmed from Wölfe.

I took both his hands in mine and looked him straight in the eyes. “Then we don’t make it, but we’ll fight together side by side. Promise me that.”

He opened his mouth to protest. I knew it would be his desire to keep me safe, but I couldn’t have that.

“Promise me,” I insisted, “that you won’t leave me behind while you and the others fight.”

A deep frown parted his forehead. Clearly, he’d already been planning to leave me somewhere safe while he went around slaying his enemies.

“If you don’t promise, I’ll make you a promise of my own, Kalyll Adanorin, and you won’t like it,” I said, my voice firm and commanding.

He seemed to reappraise me, his gaze roving over my face with surprise.

“What?” I asked, feeling self-conscious.

“Nothing, just that you got me properly scared, and that you’re not a queen yet, but you certainly sound like one.”

“Don’t think flattery will make me forget what you owe me.” I put out a hand and tapped my palm with my index finger. “Where is my promise?”

He placed his large hand under mine and deposited a tantalizing kiss right in the middle of my palm.

“I promise, my queen.” He straightened back up as a delicious shiver ran up my arm.

I narrowed my eyes skeptically.

He cleared his throat, and sensing that his slightly sensual promise hadn’t fully satisfied me, he said, “Do not think I make this promise in vain. You have proven that you can take care of yourself. You single-handedly rescued me from the very jaws of the Unseelie Court. The Daniella I first met wouldn’t have been capable of that. So I mean what I said.”

Satisfied, I nodded. “Thank you.” After a moment’s pause, I asked, “what do we do now?”

“It was the question that first assailed me when I woke up this morning. I thought about it, and I think our only option at the moment is to go back to Elyndell.”

I’d been afraid he was going to say that. “If they spot you…”

“We won’t let that happen. We will go at night, find refuge at Naesala’s home since she still seems amicable to our cause.”

“She is.”

“Then it’s decided. We go there. Ask Larina and Shadow to contact the Sub Rosa, and we make our plans.”

We had to wait the entire day in the forest before using the transfer token to go back to Elyndell. I couldn’t say I minded it, though. Kalyll was very hungry and thirsty. They had barely fed him while he was imprisoned, but that patch of forest proved so affable that we had no trouble finding a gurgling stream and bushes replete with fat raspberries, three times the size of those back home. After eating our fill, we made love right by the stream, our mouths and teeth purple from the fruit, our movements languid, unhurried.

We’d never had time to enjoy each other like this, and I was sad when the sun went down, and it was time to go.

As we stood in front of each other, the transfer token held tightly in my hand, Kalyll said, “I promise you one more thing. We will return here to this magical clearing so full of the best memories I have.”

“I would love that,” I said as I wished us back to Elyndell, back to the lion’s den.