Chapter Forty-Three

By some miracle, I manage to act semi-normal as I join Camden and Wyatt to escort the witches out of the castle, exchanging final pleasantries before watching them open a magical portal and disappear. I just might do the same…but not yet, not before I’ve thought everything through properly. We gave the witches a brief tour of the palace before seeing them off and I used the opportunity to stash the spell Odelia wrote down for me in my room, so I have a way out should I choose to use it.

Standing in the courtyard under the bright sun, I stare at the castle grounds stretching in front of me. On the far left, I see a tree line that leads into the forest surrounding the castle, which is where I need to be right now.

Camden curves an arm around my waist, pulling me close to him. I barely manage to hide my flinch, and it’s a struggle not to shove him away and yell at him, but I’m not ready to talk about the information I just received yet. I can’t hash this out now. I’m not in the right frame of mind. Camden has earned himself quite the shouting match, but I need to be in peak mental condition for that, not discombobulated and frazzled to the extreme.

I force a smile onto my lips as I look up at him, my eyes locking with his icy ones. I gave this man a certain amount of trust along with my body, and he used it to all but destroy me. How can I live with that, with him, knowing his deceit?

Camden’s brows furrow as he looks over me. “What’s wrong? I can feel your turmoil through the bond. I have been for the last little while but didn’t want to say anything in front of the witches.”

Fuck. I hadn’t considered that the bond is a two-way street; we both get slivers of each other’s emotions. I don’t want him to get a whiff of something being off or put together the fact that I found out about his sordid plan prematurely—not until I’ve decided whether I’m staying here or taking asylum with the witches. What to say that’ll throw him off my trail?

Thinking on the spot, I tell him, “I’m okay. We just…ended up talking about my parents a bit, which tends to put me in a bad mood. I think I’m going to take a walk, enjoy the fresh air, and clear my mind.”

Camden reaches out to tuck a few strands of hair behind my ear. “I’ll come with you.”

No. No, that’ll defeat the entire point of getting away from him and into my natural element so I can do some serious thinking about my future.

“I’d like to be alone for a while,” I say.

Camden looks like he’ll protest further, but Wyatt interrupts. “Come on, Cam. Let your mate have her space. She’s safe here, no harm can befall her.”

Yes, I am safe within the confines of the wards I put up—safe from any outsiders, but not safe from those who live in the castle. Presently, the inhabitants within the shield are the greatest threat to me, which is why I need to get out of it, at least for a little while. The wards don’t extend to the forest, but it’s broad daylight, and I know castle guards are patrolling the woods; I doubt any harm can come to me there.

Camden’s hand flexes on my waist, and he stares at me for several long moments with furrowed brows. Finally, he releases me. “Nightfall’s in about two hours—be back before then and stay in the protected land within the shield.”

“Of course,” I say simply, with no intention of actually following his instructions. Considering the magnitude of his deceit, I don’t feel bad whatsoever having some lies of my own.

Looking reluctant, Camden gives me a single nod and releases me. Wyatt claps his brother on the shoulder and says, “Come on, we should get the ball rolling to uphold our end of the treaty.”

I watch as they disappear inside, then start my trek across the grounds, feeling like I’m in a haze. A haze of fear, anger, but most of all, pain. So much pain it feels like it tightens my throat and suffocates me slowly. I feel any seeds of affection that had been forming for them—for Camden in a romantic way and for Wyatt almost as a sibling—start to evaporate. They lied to me in an unforgivable, irrefutable way; literally tried and succeeded in entrapping me.

In my anger, for a brief moment, I consider finding a way to sabotage them; to sabotage the treaty. Odelia said it was magically binding to both parties, but surely there must be some way to get out of it. I immediately berate myself for my line of thinking—no matter how enraged I am with Camden, the treaty was the right thing, especially with the conflicts that I found out have been occurring between the witches and dark faye for quite some time now. They deserve the aid they’ll be getting. And despite my current vitriol towards the royal family, my time here has gone to show that not all shifters are monsters. The ones who kept the truth from me are monstrous, but I can’t fault the many for the actions of the few. Shifter children, along with other innocents, don’t deserve to suffer and die in the upcoming war.

I’m about to quite possibly ruin my life in protection of an innocent hybrid life—I can’t very well do that while withdrawing needed protection from other innocents.

As I approach the edge of the warding shield I created with the help of Claude not too long ago, I cast a quick glance around to see if there’s anyone who might stop me. I see guards patrolling the land in the distance, but none of them appear to be coming in my direction or following me. Releasing a sigh of relief, I step over the boundary, feeling a small wave of magic wash over me as I do. Then, quickening my stride, I walk the remaining distance until I break through the tree line of the forest.

Lush trees tower over me, the sounds of birds chirping along with insects buzzing surround me, and the bright sun is dimmed through the thick leaves. Instantly, a sense of calm washes over me, easing my sporadic thoughts and racing heart. Slowing down to a leisurely pace, I navigate around bushes, shrubs, and trunks, heading deeper into the forest. Although turmoil still weighs heavily on me, the simple act of being in nature serves as a huge relief, and I allow myself to think about what I should do next.

Staying in the castle with Camden after his betrayal feels fundamentally wrong, but so does leaving while I’m pregnant with his child. That would be robbing him of something precious. Then again…hasn’t he just robbed me of something precious? A sense of generalized safety and the trust that I’d slowly started to build in him has disappeared. If I stay, how can I ever trust him again? How can I keep rational while knowing he’s lied to me and hurt me?

I let out a long sigh. In the distance, I hear rushing water, probably coming from a river or creek. I follow the noise until I emerge on the bank of a riverbed, showcasing a lovely view of a small, rushing creek. Sunlight filters through the openings in the trees above, glinting off the crystalline water. The riverbed is covered in grains of sand, stones, and larger boulders. I spot a deer not far away, lazily lapping at the water—the deer looks up, notices me emerging onto the bank, and trots off back into the forest.

I climb one of the larger boulders bordering the water, perch on top of it cross-legged, and drop my head into my hands with a small groan. I’m exhausted from the events of today; on the heels of my rage at Camden, Wyatt, and every person in the castle who kept a very important truth from me comes a feeling of bone-deep tiredness.

I lift my head and allow my hands to roam down to my stomach. It’s flat now, but it’ll soon swell with the presence of a life. A life that I did not ask for, granted, but one I’m already feeling protective of. No matter what I decide to do, my priority is to protect the child growing within me.

Quietly, I murmur, “I’ll protect you, I promise. You might not have been expected, but you will be loved. Dearly.” I feel faintly like I’m losing my mind talking to a fetus so young it’s not yet classed as a life by witches, but at the same time, the words give me a strength and conviction that’s been absent. I rub my palm back and forth over my abdomen. “You’ll have the best big sister in the world too. Leisel loves babies; she’ll be thrilled to have you.” At least I’m no stranger to caring for infants; if I could raise Leisel at fourteen, there’s no reason I wouldn’t be able to care for my own child at twenty-three.

I think back to Odelia’s words on the complexity of interspecies pregnancies. Because of that alone, I’m feeling inclined to accept her offer of safe haven and go to her. That’s not to mention the depth of betrayal I’ve just experienced at Camden’s hands; I don’t want to be near him right now. In fact, I can barely stand the thought of it.

The complication there is the fact that our bond is now mostly complete—I’ve been marked and our bond has been consummated, which means distance from him isn’t a long-term solution, but it could be an effective short-term one. I’ll need to talk to Leisel and find out if she’s okay with leaving, but I think it’s safe to assume she will be. Besides, with our own kind, we’ll have access to a wealth of information, knowledge, and education we previously couldn’t have fathomed.

I give a nod, feeling resolved in my course of action. I’ll head back to the castle, and then later tonight I’ll open a portal to get away from here, even if only for a little while. Right now, anything sounds preferable to staying near Camden. I slowly climb off the boulder, then squat in front of the creek and splash my face with fresh water.

The sounds of several pairs of footsteps draw my attention to the tree line, and I stand and spin around to face it. My heart speeds up when I see three males emerge. They’re dressed in tattered clothing that hints at homelessness. Their faces are unkempt and dirt-streaked, with overgrown shaggy beards. The energy emanating from them tells me they’re shifters, but there’s something erratic about that energy that makes me uneasy.

All three regard me with expressions ranging from lust to menace, and I immediately understand that they are not people whose company it’s safe to be in.

“What do we have here?” one of them, a blond with shoulder-length, greasy hair asks with a lascivious grin that makes me uncomfortable. His eyes roam my body head to toe, raising the hairs on my arms.

The one beside him, with a bald head and the longest beard of the three, says, “Feels like a human.” In a taunting tone, he goes on, “Whatcha doin’ in these parts, girly? Don’t you know it ain’t safe to wander the woods alone?”

Trying to keep the nerves out of my voice, I straighten and say, “I’m passing through, just like you. Not looking for any trouble.”

The man in front of the three, a male with black hair and equally black eyes, says, “This isn’t just a human, boys. Flaming red hair and golden eyes—that’s the fuckin’ Queen. The Earth witch—the one who just invited witches into Kinrith, endangering our entire kind.”

Shit.