Chapter Thirty-Seven

Asoul-deep change overcomes me, sparking a craving deep within that demands to be satiated; a craving to have Camden inside of me. It’s so intense my muscles actually start to spasm and cramp, sending bursts of pain through me at multiple points in my body. My stomach, my shoulders, my back, my womb especially. The discomfort and pain are so intense that I hunch over, falling flat on top of Camden’s chest.

Surprisingly, the contact alleviates the worst of the cramps, but not all of them; in place of the pain is once again the insatiable, untamed need to have him fully. I don’t think; I’m no longer capable of rational thought. Instead, I’m a wild creature desperate for its mate, fisting Camden’s shirt and tearing it straight down the middle with a strength I didn’t know I had.

I don’t pause to question what’s happening to me—how I suddenly went from wary of going too far to desperate to have Camden, right now, without any barriers. I have zero control over myself, and that doesn’t bother me in the least. Camden’s hands close around my waist and our mouths meet in a barbaric, violent kiss. It’s a frenzy of passion and lust, and it doesn’t take long for the taste of blood to hit my mouth, telling me that one of us bit the other hard enough to bleed. Who, I’m not sure, but what I am sure of is I don’t care—nothing has ever felt this good, this fulfilling, this satisfying.

I pull my mouth away only long enough to strip off my shirt and bra, desperate to have his hands on every part of me. Then, compelled by an unseen force to leave my marks on him, I lean down and sink my teeth into his neck—not hard enough to draw blood, but hard enough that even with shifter healing he’ll have a mark for at least a day. At the same time, my nails scratch down his arms, leaving a trail of wetness in their wake.

“Fuck,” Camden murmurs before abruptly flipping me over and actually tearing my pants and panties off of me with a single sharp yank.

Not wasting any time, he shoves my thighs apart my thighs and buries his head between my legs, setting off fireworks in my brain and across my body. The heat and skill of his delicious mouth is at once too much and not nearly enough—I need more. I need everything from him, and I need it now. I grab handfuls of his hair and yank him up none too gently, too impatient to let him bring me to orgasm that way. What I crave in this moment, more than I’ve craved anything in my entire life, is to have his cock inside me, filling me, stretching me.

“So eager,” Camden says, a hint of amusement in his tone.

I, on the other hand, am not amused whatsoever that he’s still partially clothed. Before I can rip his pants off with my teeth, he strips them off himself, leaving him entirely, gloriously naked, kneeling before me like some kind of erotic god. His cock is long and thick, swollen and an angry reddish purple, with veins running along its length. It’s big enough that the briefest flicker of concern passes through my thoughts, but they’re wiped away when he fills his hands with my breasts and sucks a nipple into his mouth, drawing a long moan from me.

Dimly, I hear myself mutter, “What’s happening to me?” I’ve never felt lust like this for Camden. Have I been turned on by him? Yes, too many times to count, but never with such soul-rending need. While the majority of my mind is stuck in a haze of unbearable desire, the small, nearly dormant part of it wonders just where this came from. To say that this is unlike me would be quite an understatement.

Camden doesn’t respond to my question though, and the strong suction of his lips wipes away any lingering confusion, replacing it with unbearable need. I once again yank his hair to bring his face to mine and fuse our lips in another animalistic kiss before telling him, “I need you inside me.”

His eyes turn a brighter blue than I’ve ever seen them, and he lets out a groan at my words. “You have no idea how long I’ve been waiting to hear that.”

He settles his hips firmly between my thighs, and I feel his long, throbbing length pressed against my center. My eyes roll to the back of my head as he grinds his cock against me, sliding it over my sensitive, swollen flesh, hitting my clit repeatedly, and setting off a mini-orgasm with nothing more than a few thrusts that don’t even penetrate me.

“Did you just come?” he asks in disbelief.

I’m no longer capable of stringing together a coherent sentence, so in response, I hook my legs around his waist and pull him tighter into the cradle of my thighs, trying to get him to quit stalling and start fucking.

He takes the hint. Staring deep into my eyes, he reaches down with one hand and places the broad head of his cock at my entrance, setting off a shiver of delight shuddering down my spine. There’s no trepidation or apprehension left within me, just a sea of hunger that only he can satisfy.

“It’s going to hurt a bit at first. Breathe through it,” Camden tells me.

I nod, not caring for whatever pain’s to come because the pain of not having him already is much, much worse. Once again my muscles start to cramp and clench, and I understand the only way I’ll get relief is with him inside me.

He starts pushing his length into me and instantly the cramps subside, replaced with a deeply uncomfortable pressure in my nether regions that borders on pain. When he pushes in an inch further I feel the resistance inside me give way, and then, it’s all pain, blooming from within but spreading upwards to my belly and even down to my thighs. I cry out, the noise not one of ecstasy but one of agony, and Camden goes still above me and within me. He blinks several times, appearing to try to get control of himself, while I pant harshly and shut my eyes tightly, trying to even my breathing and wait for the horrible pain to subside. He reaches a hand down, between our bodies, and slides his hand over my clit, using my wetness to tease the sensitive bundle of nerves, causing my eyes to snap open and widen. After a moment, the pleasure from his gestures expands once more, chasing away most of the pain from his invasion, though it does still have a bit of a bite.

“You good?” he asks through gritted teeth.

Feeling like I’m a puppet and my strings are being yanked by something I can’t see or comprehend, I nod. Camden leans down to kiss my neck, his fingers still working their magic below, as he continues sliding himself further and further into me. It feels like my body’s tearing and stretching to accommodate him, but with his fingers on my clit and lips on my neck, the sensation isn’t entirely unpleasant. Foreign, yes, but no longer terribly painful—just a really really tight fit topped off with a burn.

By the time he’s seated all the way inside me, our bodies fully connected, I feel like he’s rearranged my internal organs to make room for his entire length. He pulls away from my neck to look down at me and take in my reaction. The sensation of fullness is overwhelming, making it difficult to breathe, but what supersedes even that is the strange, almost religious sense of connection from staring into his eyes. His gaze is completely open and unguarded, possibly for the first time since I’ve met him.

Being raised here, in this palace, Camden probably had to master his emotions and expressions—I can glean his moods from his nonverbal cues and mannerisms, but only if I look really close and analyze everything. Right now, everything is laid bare for me to see, and it’s more than I can handle.

In his gaze, I see endless affection, a surplus of desire, and a great deal of uncertainty. Uncertainty of this, of us, of our circumstances and everything it means, but also the desire for more. More than physical pleasure, more than being able to stand being in a room with each other—I can both see and feel Camden’s yearning for everything I have to give.

Unexpectedly, I feel tears well up in my eyes at the rawness of his stare. It’s touching, humbling even, because I don’t know that Cam has ever allowed anyone to see him this way; raw, vulnerable, a person rather than an Alpha and monarch. Right now he appears to be a man, with all the imperfections thereof, instead of the hardened leader he presents himself as to the rest of the world.

Ever so slowly, he reaches his hands up to plant both on either side of my head and slides his length out of me, pulling a small whine from me. Then, just as leisurely, he sinks back in. He repeats the smooth, prolonged gesture again and again until my body starts to become accustomed to him, allowing him to slide in even deeper and with less resistance. I arch my back, lifting my hips in offering and in an attempt to get him to go faster.

Though the initial frenzy of lust that had me literally tearing off his clothes has subsided, in its place remains a sense of connection—almost frightening in its depth—and the need for the pain that it took to get here to culminate in pleasure. Slow isn’t going to achieve that.

Camden’s lips tick up as he quickens his thrusts. His cock slides over places in me I didn’t even know existed until now, sending starbursts of pleasure across my nerve endings, and causing a knot of tension to form low in my belly. The faster his pace, the further that knot expands, holding the promise of mind-melting pleasure on the other end. Cam’s breathing stutters as his pace accelerates until it’s brutal and painful, but I wouldn’t stop it for anything.

He reaches down to twist my nipple between two fingers as his mouth crashes onto mine once more, and that’s all it takes—my orgasm erupts from within me. Camden swallows my scream as I clench and convulse around him, out of control and desperate for this feeling to never end. My skin feels like it catches fire with the heat radiating off of us, every nerve ending tingling and pulsing as hormones flood my mind, turning my vision hazy and making me feel like I’m seeing everything through rose-tinted glasses.

Camden only manages two more thrusts before he stills above me, the veins bulging on his neck as he rips his mouth from mine and lowers it to my neck, shocking me by sinking teeth that aren’t blunt human ones but sharp like a canine’s into my skin. Dimly, I realize he’s actually marking me—breaking my skin and embedding his saliva to permanently scent-mark me and permanently bind us together.

What should have me absolutely livid and what I thought would be painful beyond comprehension instead sets off another stronger orgasm—one that nearly causes me to choke on my own cries, my body thrashing under the onslaught of pleasure that’s too much to handle. I rake my nails down his arms deep enough to leave gouges, then do the same to his back—trying to get a grip, to find purchase while a torrent of pleasure threatens to sweep me away. His teeth withdraw from my neck at the same time that I feel his cock pulsing inside me, followed by a warmth that spills from him, bathing my channel.

As my orgasm ebbs, a full-body feeling of weakness sweeps over me, blurring my vision and making me feel like I’m experiencing the world from within a dark fog that pulls me deeper and deeper. I barely feel Camden pull out of me and roll onto his back, I’m too depleted to say anything or even fidget as he pulls me into the circle of his arms. My eyes feel like they’re lead weights, impossible to keep open. Unable to do anything else, I let the darkness pull me into a deep sleep.