Ronan

Ronan

Sebarah’s hedge would either let me through or scratch me to bits, depending on whether it recognized me as Seb’s friend or Neela’s enemy.

It parted when I approached and even blew me a jasmine-scented kiss on a gentle breeze by way of welcome. Seb’s friend, then.

I crunched along the gravel path and up several stairs to the front door. I hesitated with my hand on the knob. The Rose Palace used to be my second home, and I came and left without knocking, though I’d lost that privilege when I lost Seb. But knocking felt too formal for a house I knew as well as my own.

I stood on the stoop like a fool, and before I made up my mind, the door swung open.

The green-haired fae who’d been with Neela at the bar that night she got drunk and told me I was sexy narrowed her bright eyes when she saw me. “She isn’t here.”

“Who are you?” I asked.

She tilted her head. “I am a fae of House Flora. That’s all you need to know.”

I didn’t want to get this female offside. I’d had enough of enemies. I only wanted to find Neela and warn her about the Shadow Walkers. She had every right to know. Even if she returned to Hebes, she didn’t need to go back in a body bag.

I sighed impatiently. “What’s your name?”

The female considered ignoring me, I could tell by the hesitation. “Liz Frankel.”

“Well, Liz, I need to find Neela. Where is she?”

They’d obviously discussed me because Liz was less than forthcoming with her reply. She clasped her hands behind her back and stood to block the doorway. “Like I said, she’s out.”

“Where?” I refused to explain myself to this serving fae, but I needed to know where Neela was before nightfall. “Tell me where she is, dammit. It’s important.”

The green-haired fae dared to close the door in my face. She was a strong-willed female with a rebellious streak too wide for her station…I could see why Neela liked her.

I walked the perimeter of the Rose Palace, trying to figure out where the tomcat might have gone.

Where would I go in her shoes? Several moonways branched from this estate, but I had no idea if Neela even knew about them. She’d certainly never appeared at the Lakehouse, so that was at least one she hadn’t discovered.

She’d had a rough couple of days, so maybe she’d gone somewhere for comfort…But where did a wild tomcat go when she needed a hug, far from home?

By a lightning-struck tree stump in the garden, I spotted two out-of-place tufts of grass and gave them a super wide berth. I didn’t need Neela’s pet snuffle tuffs to attack me. I didn’t want to have to slay them and remove Neela’s only defenders in this dangerous world.

If those little green guys were still here, Neela hadn’t gone into a forest—they always accompanied her into the woods.

So where was she?

Perhaps somebody raised in the mortal realm sought humans when she needed comfort. There was safety in the familiar, and I had bumped into her once in the human village, so she knew where it was.

It was the only lead I had.

As far as I knew, there wasn’t a moonway that led directly to the human village from here, so I took the one to Playta, then moonway hopped until I was close.

It was frustrating. Dusk was falling, and with it came the danger of Shadow Walkers, which Neela knew nothing about. I had to warn her.

Just because she couldn’t sit her ass on Seb’s throne didn’t mean she deserved to die.

My palms and forehead grew clammy at the thought, and I upped the pace of my jog, breaking into a sprint as I imagined dark beings coalescing in the deep shadows behind her.

The human village was filled with noisy life, and I pulled my hood up to cover my head as I approached. They didn’t need a fae prince to ruin all their fun, and I didn’t need the fawning attention. At least, not right now.

I spotted Neela on a park bench, and the tension drained from my body. She was watching kids in a playground with squeaky metal swings and a long curving slide. Laughter and shrieks filled the air, and I couldn’t hold in my relieved smile.

But Neela wasn’t smiling. Her face was drawn and pale. A tear slipped down her cheek as she watched a human father comfort his crying child. A father comforting his child was the most natural thing in the world, yet the sight of it made Neela cry, transforming her from a snarling tomcat into a vulnerable kitten.

What must her life have been like to make her tear up at such a commonplace moment of affection? Harder than I’d ever imagined.

My eyes burned hot, and a lump formed in my throat. Neela told me she’d raised herself, hadn’t needed anybody and never had help from anyone, and I’d always believed it.

But now I understood it. For the first time, I had an inkling of how that must have felt. Lonely, sad, scary.

She never had a mother to comfort her, to kiss her bleeding knee and tell her everything would be all right.

She never had a friend to have her back, protect her in a fight, or go to battle in her defense.

She never had anybody.

Then she was dragged away from the world she knew and dumped into ours, and I’d done everything I could to make her life miserable.

At that moment, my feelings about this female tipped upside down, and my whole world inverted. I’d done everything I could to harm her when I should have protected her.

Guilt slammed into me, more ragged and visceral than anything I’d felt over Seb’s death. That had been a trickle of remorse compared to the savage emotion that drowned me as I thought of what I’d inflicted on this poor, hurting female.

Because my role here was more direct. For Seb, I’d been absent. For Neela, I’d been very fucking present.

I was immobile. I had no words, could never find the words to atone for the shit I’d pulled. It didn’t matter how much I wanted to.

Neela sat on the bench watching the children and families, tormenting herself, and I stood in the bushes watching like a perv. Dusk deepened into night, and the families left, but Neela sat on her bench. I wouldn’t interrupt her. I would stand here all night and ensure she was okay, but I wouldn’t intrude on her privacy and torture her with my presence.

A human male approached her, and my hackles raised. I snarled quietly, ready to rip out his throat if he said a word against her.

He stopped by her bench, and they exchanged harsh words I couldn’t quite make out. The growl in my throat was unquenchable, and I dug my fingernails into my legs, tearing holes through my jeans.

She dealt with it on her own. She remained seated, casual, but I could see the tension through her shoulders and neck as she dispensed with the threat, and he walked away.

She was competent, majestic, formidable. When she came into her powers, she would be the strongest of us all. Her upbringing on the streets had forged her into a diamond, imbued her with a strength my coddled childhood never could.

Me and the other heirs, we never had a chance against her. And I didn’t care anymore. I didn’t fucking care.

Night’s shadows crept from the bushes and took over the playground. No pockets of light remained in which to hide. The Shadow Walkers could be anywhere.

I was startled by a deep breath beside me, a vibration in the air that alerted me to danger.

Neela still sat on the bench, but I couldn’t watch her in peril for a moment longer.

I crunched through the leaves toward her, deliberately making noise so she could hear me approach. She looked up, and the sadness in her eyes hardened into anger. “What the hell are you doing here?”

Something moved toward us from the dark, a deeper shade of night than the surrounding air. I muttered a spell to cast a weak light around us, but it wasn’t strong enough to last long.

“There is danger in the shadows. Evil creatures called Shadow Walkers are crossing the realm from the east. They have reached Verda City, so it isn’t safe to be out at night.”

I wanted her to freak out, panic, and at least acknowledge my warning. But her anger was directed at me. “What do you care,” she spit, standing to face her latest threat—me. “You’ve done nothing but try to hurt me from the moment I arrived. I didn’t ask to come to your precious realm, you know. I was dragged kicking and screaming by this damn bracelet, and I’d go back to Hebes in a flash if I could. But it won’t let me. So just leave me the hell alone, and you can have your precious throne. I don’t even want it.”

The lump in my throat made my voice hoarse. “I’m so sorry, Neela. For what I did to you. I was an asshole.”

Her expression was perfectly readable, as always, like her heart was laid on a plate for me to pick at. She thought I was lying, didn’t believe a damn word of what I said, and I couldn’t blame her.

But I kept trying. “I know it’s hard to understand. I just did all that for your brother. For Seb. I made a blood pact with him to never let you sit on his throne, but it was a mistake. A big fucking mistake and I never should have done it.”

She was on her feet, on full alert, checking the bushes behind me to see if the other heirs were there and this was some kind of practical joke. Every moment of her disbelief had remorse tearing another piece off my heart.

She spoke through gritted teeth. “You broke my legs.”

The image of her lying in the dirt, covered in mud, with her ankle dangling off would never leave me. Worst of all was her was the horror in her voice. You aren’t going to just leave me here, are you?

I had left her. I had just fucking left her when I should have helped her. Seb’s flesh and blood. My tomcat. I left her in the dirt, and I would never forgive myself.

I wouldn’t grovel for anyone, not even her, but I would explain. “I did it for Seb.”

She whirled on me. “And what about now? You still have that blood pact, right? So what are you doing here?”

The words just flowed out of my mouth. “The blood magic means nothing. I don’t care if Gaia plucks my head off and pisses down my throat for eternity, I will never stand in your way again.”

My heart had never beat so many times, my breathing had never been so ragged. She toyed with me, not responding, just staring and blinking while my soul splintered. This moment, this torturous anticipation of her response, was the worst kind of torment. I’d take broken legs over this any day.

She slumped back on the seat and spread her arms across the backrest, looking every inch a queen. “Piss off, princeling. I’ll never forgive you.”

I stood guard, unmoving. “Okay,” I murmured. “I deserve that.”

And I did. I hadn’t earned absolution or comfort, not after what I’d done to her. All I could do now was stand nearby and keep her safe.